No Regrets

A sharp, electric pain shot through the inside of my right arm, accompanied by the sensation that something was terribly wrong. My breath caught in my throat, and even my scream wouldn't come out right away. I floundered stupidly, mouth agape, trying ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to push off the floor—then, a beat later, the pain swept from my fingertips to my shoulder.

"Ugh, ah...!"

Only then did the strangled voice burst from my lips. Had my arm dislocated? It was my arm, but it didn't feel like mine anymore—it wouldn't move. Even the slightest touch made tears well up in my eyes. This was driving me insane. What do I do? Should I self-destruct right now?

The thought had barely crossed my mind when my body shuddered in response. No. Do it again? Endure that horrific agony once more? Just recalling it dried my mouth instantly, my teeth chattering uncontrollably. My body remembered that nightmare before my mind did—the sensation right before exploding, the pain twisting from the inside out, the pathetic moment I woke up curled on the floor, sobbing.

No. Self-destruct is absolutely out. ...But then what? If they drag me off like this? My identity as the Black Magician's test subject will come out. I know how test subjects were treated in the game. No investigations or extenuating circumstances—they just dispose of lowborn nobodies like me without a second thought. By the time they haul me to the guild, it'll be too late. Once I'm inside, self-destruct won't solve it anymore.

"Black Magician's test subject explodes in the guild." That wouldn't pass as an accident. The guild would erupt in chaos, security would tighten massively. If they launch a full search for Black Magician connections, my secret might leak. It could get so bad I can't even move freely.

But what if I die without exploding? The description clearly said self-destruct revives you after death. But that's only for self-destruct—no one ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠knows if a simple stab wound would bring me back.

What do I do? I was panting raggedly when a lazy voice brushed my ear.

"I can hear the gears turning in your head from here."

The blade tip pressed lightly just below my throat.

"Don't get any funny ideas. If you resist, I'll have to kill you."

A low chuckle grazed my skin.

"That'd lower your value."

The woman clicked her tongue briefly, then muttered to herself.

"Auction house funds are already tight enough."

Auction house?

"Tears of Serene... If I can just get my hands on that, it's over."

"This damn grind too."

Tears of Serene. The name sparked something in my mind. I'd heard it before. A minor detail from the original story—a fake artifact auctioned off, hyped as real, but later exposed. It mimicked the appearance perfectly, but the true one was elsewhere.

I gritted my teeth.

"That's... a fake."

The pressure on my back eased for a split second. A brief silence. Then a low voice right by my ear.

"What?"

The blade pressed harder against my throat. A stinging sensation—warm liquid trickled down my neck. I'd been nicked.

"The Tears of Serene at the auction."

I swallowed hard. My throat trembled inside, but I forced the words out.

"If it's real... there shouldn't be a missing pattern on the underside."

She said nothing. I squeezed words between gasps.

"Inside the base. There's supposed to be one more gold line. That's how you spot fakes—they copy the exterior perfectly."

The hand gripping my arm paused, just for a moment. An instant. Miss it, and it was over.

"If it's real."

My breath kept hitching; my right arm screamed at the slightest brush. Still, I pried my mouth open.

"I can find it for you."

"Wanna make a deal?"

"...You're hilarious."

"Trade with a Black Magician? Do I look stupid?"

I bit my lip. My throat quivered.

"I'm not the Black Magician."

"That bastard kidnapped me, turned me into his modified test subject."

"I only escaped after he died."

"Saw the bounty and came back on a hunch."

A short silence. The blade at my throat hesitated ever so slightly. Miss this gap, and it was over. I bit my lip.

"Two conditions."

Pain blurred everything—was it the agony, or the razor edge at my throat? I sensed a flicker of hesitation in her grip. I couldn't let it slip.

"The Black Magician's bounty... all mine."

More weight pressed on my back.

"And don't... hand me off anywhere else. No hurting me... prioritize my safety while we search."

A brief silence. Then a faint smile tugged at her lips. The crushing pain loosened just a fraction. My breathing eased too. It worked.

"Fine."

The low voice brushed my ear.

"Everything but one thing."

With that, force wrenched my twisted arm back further. My breath cut off.

"Ah, agh—!"

My vision went white. The twisting in my joint shot tingles to my toes. I tried to hold it in, but the scream escaped anyway.

Her lips nearly touched my ear. A soothing, gentle voice cooed.

"How can I trust you?"

I rasped, barely breathing.

"That you're not the Black Magician? That you won't stab me in the back?"

"The orb…!"

The blade dug deeper.

"What?"

"That thing... on the floor…!"

The black orb that had rolled to a stop.

"You can tell with that..!"

She fell silent briefly. I gritted my teeth. My arm throbbed madly; my throat stung under the blade.

"That's the orb that bound me."

I panted, forcing words out.

"Use it, and you can tell if I'm lying."

A short silence. She asked lowly.

"What if you try anything?"

"Just kill me first."

As my answer ended, the pressure on my ankle lightened slightly. Soon, the black orb entered my view—her pickup.

"Left hand."

I twisted to extend it. She kept the blade at my throat, dropping the orb onto my palm with a clunk.

"Try anything funny, and you're done for real."

The cold sphere touched my skin, and the mark reacted first.

"Ha…!"

My heart twisted inside. Breath choked; hot blood surged to my mouth. I coughed. Red splattered the floor. I gripped the orb tighter with my left hand, forcibly gathering mana like wringing my insides.

A status window flashed before my eyes.

I wiped the blood from my mouth with my hand.

"Good."

My voice cracked.

"Keep the conditions. The bounty's all mine."

The blade pressed harder. I didn't stop.

"If not... kill me now."

After a short silence, I tapped below the status window. Black light bloomed from the orb. Mana unraveled like a thread from my hand, wrapping her wrist, snaking up her arm. Leona flinched. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠The blade sliced deeper across my throat. Stinging pain, then hot blood trickled again. But before that, her eyes changed.

The orb must have told her. That I was the Black Magician's test subject. That I couldn't lie now, and she couldn't kill me on a whim.

"The Tears of Serene at the auction."

Leona's voice dropped lower.

"You're saying it's fake? Not a lie?"

My tongue tingled. The sensation that any lie would be blocked instantly. I swallowed briefly.

"...Yes."

A brief silence.

"The real one's elsewhere."

The blade shifted slightly along my throat.

"And you can find it?"

I bit my lip once.

"...Yes."

Leona was silent for a while. Then her gaze finally dropped.

"So you're not the Black Magician?"

I answered shortly.

"...Yes."

"His test subject?"

"...Yes."

She stayed quiet. Finally, the blade at my throat withdrew slowly. The weight on my back lifted. Instead, Leona's hand briefly steadied my twisted arm.

"Stay still. Moving'll hurt more."

No time to reply. A dull crunch, and my arm shoved back into place.

"Ha, ugh…!"

The scream burst out again. Tears pricked my eyes. Leona sheathed her blade, grabbed my other side, and hauled me up. Clutching my throbbing arm, I barely found my footing.

We scanned the ruined tower again. It didn't take long. The Black Magician's corpse was half-mangled, but enough remained for ID: a black ring on an exposed finger bone, metal adornments stamped with the mark owner's sigil, a few sheets of test subject records. Leona gathered them wordlessly.

"Verification required."

The guild staff flipped through papers.

"The Black Magician subjugation is a major quest—can't pay out immediately. Rewards after evidence check."

I blinked blankly.

"Not even now?"

"Sorry."

No dice. Auntie Marie crossed my mind. I was supposed to head out farther now. After freeloading so much, leaving empty-handed felt wrong. Meals, a room, medicine...

"No advance?"

Leona didn't even turn.

"No."

"Why?"

"Not paid out yet."

"My share's confirmed, right?"

Leona finally glanced down. Still expressionless.

"Not till verified."

I pressed my lips, then spoke again.

"Lend me a little, then."

"No."

Wow. I glared at Leona briefly, then lifted my swelling right arm. Bruises bloomed purple to my knuckles. My throat still stung from the blade nick.

"Who did this to me?"

Leona's brow twitched faintly.

"Arm like this, knife mark on my throat—I thought I was dead."

I caught my breath, adding,

"At least cover treatment."

Short silence. Leona stared, then sighed slowly. She pulled a small pouch from her pocket and tossed it my way.

"Not much."

I snatched it midair. Heavier than expected. I weighed it in my hand—should be enough.

"Thanks."

"Not my money."

"Huh?"

"Loan. Deduct from your cut."

...Sneaky bitch. But she paid up anyway.

Auntie Marie looked up as the inn door opened.

"Oh, you're back."

I froze at the threshold, pouch heavy in my pocket.

"Auntie."

She approached with a smile.

"What's up?"

I hesitated, glancing sideways. Leona stood impassive by the door.

"I... think I gotta go now."

Her face stiffened slightly.

"Suddenly?"

"Yeah."

Something stuck in my throat—why was saying goodbye so awkward? I scratched my neck.

"Gonna travel with her. Adventurer. Teaming ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠up for a bit."

Auntie's gaze flicked to Leona, then back.

"I see."

I exhaled, offering the pouch.

"Thanks for everything."

Her hand froze.

"What's this?"

"Room, food, meds—all of it."

"What're you—"

She eyed the pouch, then gently pushed it back.

"Can't take it."

"Auntie."

"I did it 'cause I wanted to."

Her tone firmed.

"Washing and feeding a little stray—what's a bit of money?"

"Still—"

"No."

Auntie Marie refused stubbornly, finally taking it with a sigh.

"So persistent."

She turned inside, returning with arms full: bread bundle, two potion bottles, fresh bandages, waterskin, clothes, etc.

"No, Auntie."

"Quiet. This is separate."

She stuffed the bundle into my arms, then eyed Leona.

"For the lady too."

Leona's brow furrowed faintly.

"Don't nee—"

"Haha, thanks!"

I cut in, snatching the small package.

"I'll make sure she takes it. She's picky..."

Auntie Marie glanced at me, smiling softly.

"Take care of Ria."

Leona didn't reply. Just eyed the package briefly. A customer called outside.

"Oh, one sec—gotta go."

She whirled, then turned back to squeeze my hand.

"Come back anytime if it's tough."

The words caught in my throat. Tears threatened, so I smiled brighter.

"Yeah."

She nodded curtly to Leona and vanished inside. The door shut; silence fell. Two bundles in my arms, one in Leona's hand. I glanced, chuckling.

"Nice lady, right?"

Leona eyed her package.

"Sure."

The word twisted oddly.

"Doesn't make sense."

I blinked.

"What?"

"Why go that far."

Her voice stayed dry.

"She looks barely scraping by."

I paused. Leona's brow creased slightly.

"Poor folk always do that."

"Nothing to their name, yet they give to others first."

She glanced at her package, adding curtly,

"End up giving it all away."

"Left broke."

"Circling the bottom forever. Never climbing up."

I was speechless. The warm vibe shattered with her words. Sigh. Stuck together awhile, but we really don't mesh.

"Live like that, you'll regret it later."

Leona laughed. Short, light, without hesitation.

"Regret?"

She eyed the package again, shrugging it off.

"Never regretted a thing in my life."

I said nothing. Leona added,

"Won't in the future either."

I sighed softly. Yeah, right.