Punishment
Like a ball shot into the sky, it falls back to the ground as time passes.
Like a life born amid cheers, slowly dying in silence.
Like a sandcastle built on sand, that lie—unstable from its very foundation—was destined to crumble.
Yes. The betrayal that would one day be uncovered.
The lie that would eventually come to light.
From the very beginning, everything was predetermined.
"...Un...nie?"
"......."
"Ellie unnie, are you there?"
Rustling sounds. A small hand, delicate as a fern frond, parts the tough underbrush. The child approaches. Is this a fiction born of my anxiety? But it's too real for a dream, too vivid for an illusion—every sound, every breath matches the girl I know.
I have no choice but to admit it. This is the most wretched reality of all.
"Unnie... is that you?"
"......."
Her snow-white skin is marred by scratches from the coarse grass, inflamed red from some poison. Enduring the pain and sting, she takes one step, then another toward me. Under the moonlight.
I see her eyes—eyes I've never witnessed before, shimmering beautifully like jewels catching a faint glow.
The sins I've piled up, stained with deception and betrayal—they're unraveling.
Gazing at her, I struggle to swallow the question rising in my throat.
—Why are you here, Alice?
The cruel answer to that question walks toward me before my eyes.
**
Spotting the child, I huddle deeper into the shadows behind the tree, fearing the moonlight might reveal my form. My heart pounds like it might burst; my breathing grows ragged. Afraid she'll hear, I hold my breath and clamp my mouth shut.
Pathetic struggles even a child wouldn't stoop to. Please don't find me. Just pass by like this.
But such crude efforts yield nothing. Her eyes catch me in the gloom, and she stops in her tracks.
I've been discovered. The thought swallows my mind whole.
"......."
".......—Ah."
A moment of silence flows. I pray to a god I don't even believe in for it to last forever.
But gods don't grant miracles to unbelievers out of sheer generosity.
Slowly, the child's lips part.
"Unnie... I found you...."
"......."
"I woke up and you were gone, so... I was, sca... scared....!"
The worst situation, the worst timing, the worst place. The child stammers toward me, but no words reach my ears.
No. Don't look.
I glance around. The forest—meant to be greens and blues with hints of black—has forgotten its colors, splattered like fresh red paint.
Can this even be called color? It was life, passion, love and violence. Blood.
Trees drenched in the vivid crimson of sprays. I'd put it off and put it off, and now all the karma I've accrued returns to its rightful owner.
An undeniable, unavoidable truth.
"......."
I bow my head. Spreading my hands reveals palms soaked red, sticky clumps of unidentifiable grease clinging between my fingers.
In my mouth lingers the sweet taste of flesh.
Thud—I slam my head into the dirt. Again. And again.
From afar, the child's panicked voice drifts over.
Yet I can't stop. Yes. It's all out in the open now. I've shown everything. What I am. What I've done. She's seen it all.
"...—Alice."
"Uh... uh...?"
"Alice... Alice.... Alice...!"
Emotions surge, spilling out as her name. I snap my head up. There she is, bewildered by my actions, desperately trying to rush toward me.
Her eyes, approaching, fill with growing unease. Sensitive to others' moods as always, her face hardens bit by bit.
It feels like a glimpse of the future. Heartbreaking. Infuriating, resentful, suffocating beyond endurance.
I didn't choose to be born a monster who can't survive without tearing into blood and flesh.
I just craved this fleeting warmth, wanted to cling to this peace a little longer.
Why look at me like I'm some criminal?
"Ah.... Aah...."
I tried to speak. Once today passes, this month ends, the season changes! Once I steel myself! Then I'd tell her. I never planned to hide it forever.
That's what I wanted to say. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be like this.
But the words that escape my lips are cold, scorching, ruthless, impassioned—far from my true heart.
Vitriol. A sharp dagger flies at the child.
"....Why!!"
"—Eek!?"
"—Why did you do that! Why! Were you that desperate to see me? Is that it!!!"
Before I know it, I'm blaming her. Why come looking for me? I told you to stay inside. Your wounds could worsen; I said don't unwrap the bandages.
With bloodshot eyes and a face stained with gore, I stumble toward her dazed stare.
Crack—a twig snaps underfoot.
Yes, I know. I'm in no position to speak—I've locked her in this sightless darkness, shackled her ankle so she can't go anywhere without me, stolen her wandering family, her past, even trampled her name.
I know it's unjust. But right now... right now, if I don't think that way, I'll shatter.
"...Unnie..?"
"Yes, it's Saelli. Your sister, right!!"
The child, dazedly scanning her surroundings, pales in horror as I approach. Emerging from the shadows into the moonlight, fully exposed, Alice collapses as if her legs give out.
I stride right up to her. She scrambles backward on hands and knees; I seize her hand and yank her close.
"Where do you think you're going."
"....Ah... E... Ellie unnie..."
"Where are you going? I asked."
Her embrace, once so warm, now feels ice-cold. The viscous gunk on my hands smears onto her arm. I squeeze a little harder.
—Crunch.
"Eek..! Eee—!?"
"What's wrong, Alice? I'm your unnie, aren't I? I'm Saelli!!"
Terror? Her teeth chatter uncontrollably. Limbs gone limp, she stares blankly at me.
That sight ignites my chest. I force her turning head—averting from my face—back toward me.
Her frightened expression. My blood boils.
Don't look away. Look at me.
Her lips clamp shut; my pointed fangs tear into them. Blood wells up, trickling down her chin.
Alice. Why that look? It's me. The Saelli you always called Ellie unnie. You said you liked me. Said you'd stay by my side. Said you'd love me no matter what.
Lost in those thoughts, I trace the edges of her turquoise eyes, now fully exposed.
Smooth strokes. Fresh blood paints over her flawless skin.
What's so scary? ...Huh? Tell me.
She flinches at every gentle touch. Alice doesn't answer my soft murmur.
With nails extended to points, I prod her eyelid, shaking eye.
"You unwrapped the bandages, didn't you?"
"I... Ah... Aah... So... sorry... unnie..."
Clutched forcibly to my chest, she trembles violently, as if gripped by some unimaginable fear.
Watching her, I don't stop stroking. Inch by inch, I move my hand—wetting my fingers with blood from my lips when it dries—smearing it across her pristine silver hair, red lips, unblemished neck.
Alice is clever. She must understand it all now. That I'm no ordinary human, at least.
It must terrify her. From inside me, her ten-year-old body writhes to escape. Her moaning mouth gapes, unable to close.
Yet she tries to obey, forcing herself to meet my piercing gaze. Adorably defiant.
Those glass-clear eyes reflect a blood-soaked monster eyeing its next prey. Red pupils gleaming, staring intently.
That image tightens my grip. Not letting go.
—Crunch!
"Hiaaa—!? It... hurts!! H-hurts!!"
"I told you... not to unwrap the bandages. Over and over."
"—Kyaaaah!!!!"
Her shrill scream echoes through the forest. Alice strains desperately to wrench her wrist free from my tightening grasp.
But her strength fails; the struggle lasts mere minutes. As she slumps gasping, I hoist her up.
Her body slips from my arms; I pull her back in. Feeble taps patter against my chest.
She gazes at me with pleading eyes. A single unshed tear falls onto my hand.
Plip.
Her fragile form—begging forgiveness, promising never again—drags my heart deeper into a filthy mire.
What did you do so wrong? That you had to flee from me? Escape this frightening monster? Abandon me in the end?
Really,
"—You're a bad girl."
"...I... did wrong... unnie... sorry... never... again... so—"
"A really bad girl."
Indescribable emotions tangle. Like pigments blending, condensing into one.
This is sorrow. This is rage. This is resentment.
If these feelings were a color—
The murky black of inevitable abandonment, filthy and impure.
Yes. The color of a small... betrayal.
Perhaps we were never fated to meet from the start.
"Bad girls need to be punished, don't they?"
"...No... don't... unnie... so... sorry..."
In her eyes, the monster's jaws gape wide. Matching it, I open mine even wider.
As my mouth stretches, her form vanishes from view.
With her scream, I clamp down.
Crunch.
My mouth fills to bursting.
**