Preparing
The pitiable patter of rain against the window. I stretched one hand out through the open pane, savoring the moment. My hand was already soaked through, and another droplet fell onto the back of it. My fingers had no chance to dry, lost in the endless cascade of raindrops, drifting through time without end.
Drip. Drip.
The steady rhythm of rain tapping the window held a demonic allure all its own. It calmed the listener's heart, a gift from the heavens that let one gaze deep into their own soul. And for those humans trapped on the hamster wheel, oblivious to it all—for those who walked staring at the ground—it was a comfort they could never perceive.
"...Cool."
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The falling raindrops were, of course, chillingly cold, as one would expect. On a day like this, I wanted to toss aside my umbrella, revert to my primal self, and roam the streets freely. Lying in a puddle, staring up at the sky—that had to be fun. But I, forbidden even from leaving the house at will, could only pitifully extend my hand out the window from inside my tiny cage.
A small birdcage.
"Ugh..."
I fiddled absentmindedly with the bandages wrapped tightly over my eyes.
"I miss Ellie's face..."
The bandages over my eyes were tied with unyielding strength, as if reflecting the will of the one who had bound them—they wouldn't come undone easily. Did she truly have no intention of ever untying them?
Half a year. A short time if you thought of it that way, long if you didn't. The span Ellie had lived in her false daily routine. In the end, just as I had fled from Anna and reached a cliff's edge, Ellie would one day hit her limit too. Or perhaps... she already had.
It irked me a little that she wouldn't share her secret with me, but in another way, it meant she cared about me that much. I couldn't help but feel pleased.
"Heehee."
I touched my chest with my left hand, which I'd recently regained the use of. Thump-thump. I felt a small pulse. My heart was beating.
If she saw me as a weed sprouting anywhere and everywhere, there'd be no reason to hide it, right? The person you least want to discover your secret is the one you love most. Just knowing someone had a secret they didn't want me to know was more than enough to fill me with overflowing happiness.
"But time is running out... Ellie..."
Still, that was coming to an end now. I desperately wanted to wait until the day she steeled her resolve, but Ellie's lies were far too clumsy. If it had been anyone but me, her secret would have been exposed long ago, and their relationship crumbled to dust.
Rather than agonizing over lies that might unravel at any moment, it would be easier to blind me and keep me by her side. If Ellie had decided to keep me with her forever, I would have accepted everything. But regretfully, she didn't have the ruthlessness to harbor such dark resolve.
Ah, what a pity.
—Now it's time to be born.
Of course, I knew it too: that a chick must smash its head against the shell, shatter it, and break free before it could truly rule the world as a falcon. But a chick that failed to crack its shell forever, whimpering away, would eventually die. Calling it the law of nature felt too cruel. To end a single life without ever spreading its wings.
—So I have no choice but to help.
"The raindrops go drip, drip—"
Alright then. Let's think. A plan to crack Ellie's shell for her.
Drip drip. Drip, drip.
I pulled my right hand back inside. Left exposed to the falling rain and whipping wind for over an hour, it had gone ice-cold. Curious about the taste of a raindrop, I'd licked one experimentally, but there was nothing special. Only after sucking on it did I remember. I can't taste things well.
Ugh... It left me feeling as depressed as if I'd been jilted by a lover. I slipped my frozen hand between my thighs. A prickling sensation came first, then warmth returning. Pressing my legs together with my hand wedged between them oddly brought a sense of coziness and security.
"Warm..."
I buried my face in my knees and began plotting my next steps. Drip drip. The rain grew fiercer, showing no sign of letting up. A crystalline sound I could listen to forever.
"...Whooo~"
Honestly, it was simple. All I had to do was unwrap my bandages in front of her and behold Ellie's true face. That alone would make her carefully tended false life crave the light, and the stopped time would flow again.
But that was a deception. Not even comedy—just a rolling object of ridicule. Casually removing my eye bandages while eating a normal meal in front of her? It might shock the audience for a moment, but who would demand a drama so contrived? No justification, no plausibility, no building tension, no protagonist's peril or trials—not even a hint of emotion to stir the heart. A work like that had no reason to exist.
Crackle, tap, thump.
"...Drip... drip... drip."
Aristotle said it: In a tragedy's plot, not even the slightest irrationality could be tolerated. If unavoidable, it must conclude as an external element of the tragedy. No deus ex machina here. No beings of absolute power, no characters awakening strength by chance. Only humans. The life of one dazzlingly bright person must melt into it.
This story was for Ellie alone—for her and no one else. That's why I pondered: when, where, how, and what to do for the most dramatic appearance before her.
No matter how great the actors, a tale of ordinary life wins no empathy anywhere. A play that fails to stir the audience drains their soul.
Yes. Direction was needed. From acting to sets, props, expressions, movements—every controllable element. For Ellie, the protagonist and audience of this work, I would deliver the event of a lifetime, one to propel her forward, never to be repeated.
So, Ellie. I'll work hard. For you, I'll create the greatest performance.
—Live dangerously. Build your city on the slopes of Vesuvius.
Here, accept my life, which has no reason to go on.
There was something called an unwritten rule. A norm not explicitly stated but tacitly agreed upon and followed. For someone like me, it would be: don't untie the bandages over your eyes.
But does she know? For a child like me, such words only encourage the act. "Don't think of a pink elephant"—you can't help but picture one. The frame of the elephant embeds itself deep in the child's mind.
She always said it obsessively: "Don't take off the bandages."
So, even if I'd held out so well until now, if I finally removed them, it couldn't be helped. Even if I wandered off searching for her after she left me behind, it couldn't be helped.
A child with nowhere to depend but the sister who cared for her—what else could she do upon waking at dawn to find her gone but search?
The temptation to unwrap the bandages. A child falls for it easily. Holding out this long was actually commendable.
Right?
"...Tap tap tap... tap tap tap..."
Three or four times a week, Ellie would enter my room at night to check if I was fast asleep. Then she'd vanish. I didn't know where. I knew nothing of the surrounding landscape or geography anyway.
But it was certain: the woman who never left my side for even a minute outside of meal prep was going out for hours while I slept. And the next morning, her body reeked of blood so strongly even I could detect it.
When I asked, she said she'd been hunting. What on earth did she hunt to smell so intensely? She'd clam up after that, and I knew she hated bringing it up.
"...Drip drip drip."
As if a hole had opened in the sky, the downpour intensified. If a hole in the heavens let rain pour through, was there a blue ocean above? That would be fun.
Raindrops finally seeped into the room, forcing me to close the window. They tapped against the shut glass. Leaning in, I heard the staccato rhythm quicken, the song of rain colliding with pane.
I answered with my fingers drumming the glass. Tap, tap. It pleased my ears. Tap, tap-tappity, tap. Our duet continued until my fingers stilled.
Not yet. Not quite. Just a little more. Make it even more perfect.
—Thud!
"........."
Ellie hadn't gone out at dawn the past two days. Tomorrow, or the day after at latest, she would. Even if not, she'd come to check if I was asleep before leaving. Watch for that, and I wouldn't miss her movements.
After she confirmed I was asleep and slipped out.
—I'd remove the bandages and follow her.
The truth she least wanted me to know above all else. I'd expose it all on stage.
What face would Ellie make? What would she do to me?
Tap, tap...
Exciting. So much fun.
But for now, enjoy the rain. Quietly...
"........."