Naming
Her heart raced wildly, as if it had lost all control. Thump, thump. She could almost hear the echo of it resounding from her own chest right in her ears. The child surely couldn't hear it, right? Anxiety washed over her.
The child had thrown out her question and now stood utterly still, simply gazing at her with unblinking eyes.
"........"
"........"
This silence was unbearably heavy. The child's eyes, shrouded in bandages, couldn't possibly see her, yet she found herself averting her gaze from them, staring only at the floor. The weight of her guilt pressed down on her. But that guilt soon ignited into rage, blazing fiercely within her heart.
Anna. Anna Akaia. That damned, damned Anna...!!
The fury she couldn't fully suppress turned toward a person she'd never even exchanged words with. Anna... why do you still linger like a ghost by this child's side...!! Let her go... please, just let this child go...
An indescribable rage surged up her spine. Her head grew hot, her pupils dilating. It felt like she'd downed the strongest liquor. But those emotions had no choice but to subside. She had no right to let them rage in front of this child.
"......Ellie, unnie?"
"......Ah—"
The tentative call of her name snapped her from her reverie. They said the eyes were the windows to the soul. With the bandages wrapped tight, she couldn't make out the child's face clearly, but even so, she could sense the affection in her demeanor, her voice, the slight upturn of her lips.
Yes. The child was kind. That was the only way to put it. So kind that she only knew how to care for others, neglecting herself. Surely, in this stifling life, she must have complaints bubbling up. My bizarre, painful actions alone should have sparked suspicion. She was at an age where she could afford to throw a tantrum.
Yet the child did none of that. Instead, she always sensed my sunken mood first, trying to brighten the air around us, faithfully following my odd words and commands.
It was love. Sweet enough to melt her tongue, sticky and inescapable.
In the end, she had no choice but to admit it. She could no longer let go of the child before her.
"Ah...... Anna, that was the name, right..?"
".....Yeah..!"
As she began speaking of Anna, the child's face visibly brightened. It was a smile more beautiful than any she'd seen before.
—Crunch.
She bit her lip. Her sharp fangs, capable of tearing tough meat with ease, pierced the delicate flesh like paper, spilling crimson liquid. The salty tang of blood filled her mouth. Her tangled thoughts began to sort themselves out.
"......"
Gulp. She swallowed.
It nearly slipped out: If only you were a bad child. But that wish vanished into the dark depths along with her swallowed saliva.
To hope a kind child was secretly wicked. She truly was an irredeemable monster.
If you'd feared me, rejected me, betrayed me, attacked me—and tried to flee far away—would my heart have felt a little lighter? If only that were the case—
—I could have devoured you without a shred of regret.
But now, it was too late.
".....Ah, right. Anna, Anna... Anna.."
"....Did you find out anything, unnie?"
"Ah.... Aah... Yeah. Something, I guess."
She stood at a crossroads. The words she was about to utter here would drastically change their life ahead. For some reason, she felt it instinctively. Alarms were blaring in her gut. Once she crossed this line, there was no turning back.
She raised a hand to cover her eyes. Darkness fell. It was as if a long line stretched before her.
Tell the truth? Betray the child's trust?
If she revealed that horrific truth, the child would surely run to her sister. She couldn't imagine any other future. Knowing the child as she did, she'd do exactly that.
—But that, I must prevent at all costs.
The devil whispered.
To ease her sister's guilt over believing she'd killed her, or simply to hear why the first princess despised her—the child would seek out Anna. Maybe both reasons. She was that gentle a soul.
Faced with the one who'd coldly tried to murder her, the child would instead blame herself. She'd promise to fix whatever was disliked, beg not to be abandoned. She'd sob, obey any humiliating command without question.
What would become of the child? What would that woman do? A woman who'd committed such cruelty without hesitation—would she throw a festival upon learning the child she'd killed had returned alive? Call it a joyous day, host a ball, gather the people? Offer a warm home, food, and embrace her as irreplaceable family?
No.... No.... There's no way...!!
Crack. Something shattered deep in her heart.
She'd crossed the line drawn before her. Unbelievable. Yes, she couldn't entrust the child to such a woman. She had no right. If she didn't try to kill her again, that would be a mercy.
'Uh...... unnie......'
'....!!'
The image was still vivid: the blood-soaked, twitching corpse-like form by the riverbank.
Again, the child would be betrayed, scarred indelibly in her heart. She couldn't allow that.
Yes. All of it—for protecting the child.
This wasn't betrayal. It was protection...!
So she—
"—I'm sorry. I couldn't find anyone by that name."
"....Ah....?"
"Couldn't find her."
The child's bright smile froze in place. She spoke each word deliberately, syllable by syllable, ensuring it reached the child's ears.
She's gone. Doesn't exist. Even if she does, I won't allow it. So stop chasing ghosts. I'm right here in her place.
"No such person."
"Ah... uh....?"
"Not a single one."
Hearing her answer, the child clutched her left arm with her one movable right arm, trembling violently.
Ah. She'd spat it out. No taking it back now.
Was the shock too much? The child's body began to tilt slowly sideways.
"—Oh no."
"Hah... hah! Haah... haah..."
Thud.
She shot up from her chair, rushing to the child's side. Supporting the frail body that had nearly toppled from the chair amid her swaying shock.
The child's form was light as a cloud, soft as a feather. All of it—for the child. The angel in her heart smiled faintly, nodded, and faded away.
Sorry. But I love you.
She held the child tight in both arms, patting her gently. Perhaps it was her imagination, but the child's whimpers seemed to quiet a little. The fact that the child was leaning on her entirely felt so good. She thought: I should have done this sooner.
"Ah...... aah......!"
"There, there, it's okay. We might find her if we keep looking, right?"
"R... really...?"
"Of course. I'll stay by your side until we do—helping all the way."
Forgetting was said to be a blessing from the gods. But for a child who could only live by devoting herself to a two-syllable name, having lost all memories and past—forgetfulness was nothing but a curse.
Hope, clues, memories, history. Stripped of every mental pillar, the child no longer seemed the poised girl from before. She looked her true age—a little girl.
As she held and patted the child, the mirror from last time came into view. Still the same unchanged black hair, like filthy sludge. The red eyes that screamed monster, impossible to hide. The tiresome face she'd worn for centuries.
But one thing had changed.
What’s this, me? Always lived behind a mask.
And I can make that face too? Not bad.
"Hic... snif.... waaah...!!"
"Yes. Cry all you want. I'm right here, aren't I?"
She patted the child sobbing into her chest. In this moment—no, from now on—the only one the child could rely on was her. The forked futures had converged into one.
Smirk.
In the mirror, the red-eyed woman's lips stretched into a long grin. She stared straight into it and spoke.
Doesn't matter what anyone says. You made me this way first.
I'm a bad monster. It's only natural for monsters to do bad things, right?
She'd make the child hers. Stroking the neck of the child now fully surrendered to her embrace. She pressed her nails lightly, leaving small marks on the flawless milky skin. One wasn't enough—two.
"I'll give you a name."
"....Ellie un...nie?"
"Not having a name to be called by is pretty lonely, after all."
The child looked up, tears subsiding. Like a snake's tongue, she flicked hers out, slowly wrapping around that neck.
I'll make you happy.
Now.
"Alice. How's that?"