The First Method for Healing NTR Trauma (4)
"The real scumbags among NTR writers, you know~."
Riyeon's words trailed off into a slur.
She'd downed two highballs of heavy whiskey in a hurry, so it was only natural.
I'd been worried she'd completely lose it and start making a drunken scene, but after one bite of the aged raw fish the owner had prepared, her eyes snapped open and the alcohol seemed to clear a little.
Regrettably, I decided to put any appreciation of the sashimi on hold and start by airing out the whole reason we were drinking together in the first place — the very thing that had made drinking possible at all.
"They make you get emotionally invested in the characters, right? They set up every heartbreaking, tender situation imaginable! Mutual feelings, vows, resolve — they show you all of it! And the truly evil ones will burn an entire volume of a pornographic doujin just on that buildup!"
"Oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean. The emotional damage is insane."
"I'm actually pretty soft-hearted, you know? No matter how well things are going, the second I catch even a whiff of NTR, my stomach flips and everything goes to hell."
Whether she was soft-hearted or not, I couldn't say. Plenty of people in real life were tough on the outside and fragile underneath, so maybe that was just how she was.
For the record, I was the type who kept reading even with NTR flags waving, thinking, Surely not this time.
It was a bad habit born from the pure-love stories that had somehow survived all that trauma.
"They make you empathize with the heroines — whether those girls are total sluts or whatever — and then what's the most essential thing for advancing a plot in a novel or a comic? Conflict! The second conflict hits, some random extra you've never seen before shows up, or a Gold Sun appears. From that moment my heart starts pounding. Not because I'm excited — because I'm thinking, why the hell are these guys suddenly hanging around a girl who's in the middle of a pure-love story?"
"And the male lead just sits there like an idiot. Doesn't even try to figure anything out. Just looks the other way."
"Exactly! Conflict blows up, the guy refuses to fix it and just mopes around like a loser, so those bastards latch onto the heroine with their twisted logic. What was that? 'You just don't understand men, so I'll teach you'? And why does the heroine fall for that garbage reasoning every single time?!"
"Looking for plot logic in NTR is a fool's errand, yeah."
"Plot logic, my ass. Then why do they build the pure-love moments by the book?"
…She had a point.
I had to keep in mind that this only applied to the truly malicious strain of NTR.
"Or why does the male lead get bullied and the heroine has to save him with her body, only to get corrupted herself?! Can't the guy fight back? And then he even hands over his own mother? Why is he that pathetic? Is it because it's Japanese? Is there some cultural difference we just don't get?"
I'd never seen a pornographic doujin where someone handed over their own mother.
Somehow I felt certain that if I searched hard enough I'd find one, but the abyss ran deep, so I decided against it.
Besides, there was something I needed to pin Riyeon down on.
"But you said NTR porn still gets you off, didn't you?"
"That's a problem too. You know why it gets me off?"
I had a rough idea.
But Riyeon clearly wanted to say it herself, so I stayed quiet and waited.
"Because the art is so fucking good! Disgustingly sexy! And the girl's face when she gets skewered by some monstrous cock is also disgustingly sexy!"
"Whoa, whoa! Keep your voice down — your voice!"
"Why? The genre we're talking about is 18+ to begin with. I can say dick and pussy if I want."
I hurriedly scanned the room.
No one seemed to care.
The other customers were absorbed in their own conversations, and the staff were busy with their work.
Then my eyes met those of the male employee in the kitchen who had been diligently stirring egg wash.
He looked thoroughly flustered.
Guy's got some serious hearing.
Reason clamped down on the alcohol.
"There are a lot of people here, so keep it down so only we can hear."
"Hmph~."
Riyeon glared at me with open dissatisfaction, then suddenly opened her mouth wide.
"Ahh~!"
"Yes?"
"Ahh!"
What is she doing?
Her eyes grew steadily more dangerous.
In the end she picked up a piece of sashimi with her chopsticks herself, ate it, then drained her highball in one shot.
"It's exactly like just now."
"What is?"
"NTR."
"Huh?"
"If we were characters in someone's novel, when I opened my mouth just now, you should have fed me the sashimi, Injae."
"Why on earth would I do that?!"
"Because that's the correct route."
She ordered another plum highball and jabbed a finger at me.
"If this were pure love, that's what you'd do."
"With zero context?"
"But it creates that expectation, doesn't it? Even if there's nothing there yet, these characters have shown up, so you want something to happen between them. An event where affection is born, or where existing affection grows stronger. That kind of anticipation."
Riyeon chewed on some pickled ginger and furrowed her brow.
"But NTR smashes that anticipation to pieces. It makes you root for the male and female leads, then brings in some other guy and wrecks everything. And wrecks it horribly. That's not okay. They're a man and a woman who love each other. The writers owe us, the people watching, some kind of payoff."
She crooked a finger at me.
When I leaned in, she reeked of alcohol and spat out her grievance.
"This is betrayal."
"Betrayal of what?"
"Betrayal of me."
She pulled back and gave my shoulder a light punch with her fist.
"Betrayal. It's betrayal."
"But you still said NTR porn gets you off. Because of the art style."
"Because of the art style. And if the story completely destroys all plot logic and is just pure fucking, then I treat it like watching porn and just jerk off to that one scene."
"Kh—! Cough!"
This woman has no brakes left!
The alcohol must have deleted them entirely!
"BSS is the least damaging and at least makes some psychological sense, but fuck, it's still sooooo annoying! She gets a little pissy about one thing and just turns her back completely? What the hell is that! Talk to each other, for god's sake, talk! If you actually talked you'd figure it out! It's so frustrating I could die!"
"Ah, that. People actually don't talk that much. Even in real life."
"Then just break up cleanly. Why keep sleeping with some other guy and still hovering around the male lead."
"Ah, that. Turns out that happens in real life a surprising amount too."
"What would you know."
I kept needling her on purpose.
Riyeon fixed me with a straight, hard stare.
Her eyes were scarier than they ever were at the office.
I took it calmly, smiling faintly.
"NTR is bad."
"You're not wrong, but why?"
"Because it's cheating and adultery. It's infidelity. Everyone has a dick and a pussy that belong to them, okay?"
There was no helping it.
Her voice was getting louder and the language was getting rougher.
I'd expected a heated mutual rant session even if it wasn't exactly fun, but the drinking session was being completely overrun by one woman's stubbornness and ego, so it was time for me to step out of the role of fellow otaku friend and back into the role of the person who had to manage her.
Unfortunately, a drunk person cannot be talked into shutting up with nice words alone.
"Do you have some bad memories related to NTR?"
"Liking NTR is what's weird. It's a niche genre to begin with…"
"No."
So I had to use a somewhat rougher method.
"In real life."
"……"
Riyeon fell silent.
Occupational habit almost started piecing together her long stretch of solitude, her virgin status, and her extreme hatred of NTR from that single reaction, but I deliberately reined myself in.
And then what? She's a stranger.
Don't dig where you don't need to.
Don't stick your nose in.
"Did something happen in real life too?"
"Why do you need to know."
She drank alone without even clinking glasses.
In HR, matching the other person's mood was a basic option, so when someone refused to toast it was practically torture.
Even so, I was glad.
Finally, Riyeon had drawn a line with me.
At last she was starting to learn about distance and boundaries.
"You keep switching between formal and casual speech, so I'm getting confused too. Could you just pick one?"
While I was at it, I gently pointed out the breach of etiquette as well.
Being called out was never going to feel good, but even if the friendly atmosphere with Riyeon shattered right here, there was nothing I could do about it.
Everything that has a beginning has an end.
Just as every hire is followed by a resignation, HR is always the one who handles both the first day and the last, so I'd long since prepared myself for this.
If Riyeon said nothing after this — if she gave no reaction at all — then my little interlude with a beauty would end after two days.
Shorter than Kim Ok-gyun's three-day reign. How sad.
"…I'll use formal speech properly."
To my surprise, Riyeon offered a settlement that would extend this relationship.
"I don't have any friends…!"
And then she shattered the agreement to use formal speech in a single breath.
I couldn't say a word in protest.
Cowardly as it was, Riyeon had deployed the traditional woman's weapon: tears.
She didn't sob or anything. She just looked at me and let the welling tears roll down, and it was hard to pretend I hadn't seen them.
"Everyone was my friend, and they betrayed me, so I don't have any friends…!"
"I don't have friends either."
"Then… please be my friend."
Even now, the distance with Riyeon was difficult.
My occupational instincts had kicked in, and still I couldn't quite gauge or measure her.
Why would a beauty like this barge into my life so recklessly.
Why, of all things, get drunk and ask me to be her friend.
A suspicion that the cool beauty I'd taken her for was actually closer to a golden retriever.
A formal request for friendship had arrived.
I wasn't sure I should accept.
In my meager experience, getting entangled with beautiful women more than necessary had never ended well.
Don't ask me how large my sample size is.
It's embarrassing to say.
"Egg roll's ready~."
But right on cue, today's highlight arrived.
And the shaggy-haired kitchen guy brought it over himself.
Just as his face seemed to be the final boss of all narrative coincidence, this egg roll would become the connecting point that untangled every thread of this comprehensively chaotic situation.
I jerked my chin at Riyeon, signaling her to eat some of the egg roll.
She blinked twice, then opened her mouth with an angry look on her face.
"Ahh!"
Oh dear. How childish.
Feels like looking at a little sister.
If it's that kind of feeling… maybe I can look after her a little?
Just until she can stand on her own, anyway.
I snorted a laugh, tore one piece of egg roll in half, dunked it generously in mayonnaise, and put it in Riyeon's mouth.
"It's delicious…!"
She chewed hard for a moment, then swallowed with a gulp and gave a little bow of her head.
"Thank you."
"Huh? No, it's nothing… mmph?!"
I was still blankly processing the thanks when a piece of egg roll was shoved into my mouth.
"It's good, right?"
Fresh egg roll is extremely hot if you don't cut or tear it and let the heat escape for a moment first.
That was why I'd split the piece in half and loaded it with mayonnaise before giving it to her.
But Riyeon had just jammed a thick whole piece straight into my mouth without any of that.
It was hot.
Delicious, but insanely hot.
It scorched the entire roof of my mouth.
"It's good, right?"
"…Yes. It's good."
Riyeon beamed.
"Thank you!"