Even in Xianxia, I Troll the Gallery
In his previous life, he had been a hopeless text addict and internet community junkie. The moment he opened his eyes, he'd flip on his smartphone. He'd keep refreshing the screen right up until he passed out, devouring forum posts or web novels. He'd lived that routine for over a decade.
Snooping on other people's lives and cramming his brain full of random trivia had been his one escape from a brutal, grinding reality. The real world faded easily behind the anonymity of the screen.
It was a boring early-morning hour, no different from any other. The only light in the dark room came from his phone's glow. Lying in bed, he scrolled through posts out of habit when a weird banner ad caught his eye.
What kind of life would you live if you could reincarnate?
Black background, chunky white Gothic font spelling out the tacky phrase. Normally, he'd scoff and scroll right past such low-effort trash. But today, with nothing better to do, a strange curiosity tugged at him. Like he was mesmerized, his finger tapped the banner.
The screen shifted to a single question and a blank field. In a lighthearted mood, he typed his answer.
'Reborn as a golden-spoon beauty in a xianxia world, just lounging around in online communities like always.'
A flighty, escapist wish straight out of fantasy. He chuckled it off and hit submit. At the same moment, his mind blurred, eyelids drooping as consciousness slipped away.
When he came to again, he had been reborn as the youngest daughter of a prestigious Gold Core family. Her new name was Baek Cheong.
She retained all memories of her past life from the moment of birth. By the time she could babble her first words, she was already eavesdropping intently on the adults' conversations, piecing together her situation with cold clarity.
This was a world of cultivators pursuing immortality. And she'd been born into the renowned Yeonha Baek Family, no less. The family patriarch—her grandfather—was a Gold Core powerhouse at the great elder level.
The trouble stemmed from the family's wild misconceptions. From infancy, Baek Cheong never fussed or cried needlessly. She'd glance at the adults, reading the room with eerie maturity. To them, her bright, sparkling eyes screamed once-in-a-millennium genius.
"Our Cheong's talent pierces the heavens!"
"She'll lead our house beyond Origin Infant, all the way to the Transformation realm!"
From the Gold Core elders to her parents and uncles, everyone doted on her endlessly, holding her aloft like a treasure.
That part of her dawn wish—to be reborn a pampered golden-spoon beauty—had come true in spades. The warehouse overflowed with spirit stones. Every meal featured rare spirit herbs on lavish platters.
But as she turned one, then two, the family's excessive praise became an unbearable burden. Baek Cheong was no innate prodigy. She was just prematurely wise thanks to her past-life memories.
Pretending to be clever day in, day out to meet their expectations drained her soul with exhausting fatigue. Worst of all was the soul-crushing boredom. A xianxia world without smartphones or forums was pure torment.
Fine silks and exotic delicacies couldn't quench the raging thirst in her chest. She'd hole up in her vast room, staring blankly at nothing and sighing endlessly.
Finally snapping, she'd stretch her arms toward empty air in deserted rooms and scream.
"Status window! Gallery!"
Only cold silence answered. Memories of swimming freely through communities left her wracked with withdrawal.
So her precarious acting routine dragged on, day after day.
Time flew mercilessly. Now ten years old, today was the hugely important day for testing the family children's yeong-geun—spiritual roots.
Yeong-geun measured talent for absorbing and wielding heaven-and-earth spiritual energy. It was a solemn rite confirming their bare-minimum qualification for the cultivator's path.
Hundreds of retainers packed the vast Yeonmu-jang training ground, holding their breath in perfect silence. All eyes locked on the petite girl standing tall on the platform.
The youngest granddaughter, famed since childhood for her brilliance— what miracle would she unleash? The air thrummed with anticipation no one dared guess. Everyone firmly believed in legendary roots like Earth Spirit or Heaven Spirit.
"Begin."
Baek Cheong kept a calm facade as she carefully placed her hands on the massive yeong-geun measuring stone at the platform's center. The rough stone's texture crept up her palms.
A low hum vibrated through it. Then, from within, multicolored lights bloomed dazzlingly.
Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, Water. The five elements tangled in a muddy, repulsive sludge. The glow was pathetically dim, flickering like it might snuff out. Spiritual energy trickled in at a snail's pace.
Hundreds of breaths halted in unison. Heavy silence crushed the training ground.
"O-yeong-geun… the lowest grade of mixed trash roots."
The white-haired elder overseeing the test's voice trembled faintly. Towering expectations crumbled into horrific despair.
In the cultivation world, O-yeong-geun meant a lifetime of grueling effort barely scraping Core Formation. The years of hyping her as a once-a-century prodigy turned to ash.
Shock, dismay, profound pity flashed across faces. No one dared speak before the unbelievable reality.
Right then, an impossible sight bloomed in Baek Cheong's vision.
Connected to Moomyeongbang.
Baek Cheong froze, eyes bulging. The crowd's murmurs and sighs faded from her ears.
The translucent window mimicked the forums she'd haunted endlessly in her past life. Then, vast knowledge of Moomyeongbang flooded her mind.
A mystical spiritual network accessible only to those with the ultra-rare Moomyeongjiche constitution—one in tens of millions. In a lifetime, you might never brush shoulders with another.
But the lower realms' scale dwarfed Earth. Moomyeongbang united them all, so active users weren't few.
Posts updated ceaselessly in real time before her eyes.
Baek Cheong's heart pounded wildly as she scanned them. Long-buried thirst quenched in a electric rush sweeping her body.
A true anonymous haven in this dull cultivator world, sharing unfiltered real-time gossip. Her divine sense flicked like a mouse scroll, gliding the board smoothly.
Intuitive controls: click posts with intent, read, reply, upvote. Her frivolous dawn wish had manifested perfectly—no deviation.
"Cheong-ah…"
A thin, trembling voice heavy with tears yanked her back to reality. She tore her eyes from the translucent window and turned.
Her mother stood there, eyes red-rimmed, biting her lip. Below the platform, retainers bowed heads, avoiding her gaze, staring at the ground.
The entire Baek family had fallen into a massive delusion. Stunned by the horrific O-yeong-geun results, they assumed the child Baek Cheong had lost her mind in shock.
Her blank forum-stare had only deepened the misunderstanding.
Did I zone out too hard?
Baek Cheong rationally grasped her roots were trash-tier. Transformation realm glory was forever out of reach. She'd betrayed the family's long-cherished hopes.
But deep inside, volcanic joy and ecstasy erupted uncontrollably. Who cared about O-yeong-geun? Moomyeongbang spanned the lower realms right before her eyes.
She'd reclaimed the perfect escape from monotonous immortal pursuits. Filled with relief, she beamed genuinely.
"Mother. I'm really fine. It doesn't bother me at all."
Sincere comfort from the heart. Pure joy at finding fun despite trash roots.
But to her mother, it sounded like desperate denial of cruel reality. The forced smile tore at her heart.
"Aigoo, Cheong-ah!!!"
Mother broke, sobbing uncontrollably. She lunged, crushing Baek Cheong in a tearful hug.
Caught off-guard in the embrace, Baek Cheong's eyes darted around in confusion. The mood had soured weirdly.
Soon, her sturdy father approached with heavy steps. His usual stern gaze brimmed with pity and sorrow.
He gently stroked her hair with his massive, callused hand. "Cheong-ah, no need to force a smile. I can't even imagine how shattered your heart must be. Go back to your quarters and rest."
Judging the funeral-like atmosphere impossible to fix now, Baek Cheong realized protesting would worsen things. She nodded meekly and turned to leave.
Heading from the vast Yeonmu-jang to her opulent residence. But her steps were noticeably slower than usual.
Not from weak legs. Her gaze stayed glued to the translucent Moomyeongbang window hovering in the air, divine sense meticulously scrolling real-time posts. No wonder her pace dragged.
Retainers watching her slow, unsteady retreat from afar sighed deeply, dabbing eyes with sleeves.
"Poor young miss. The shock must be immense—she can't even walk straight."
"Heavens are cruel. How could they curse such a wise genius with trash O-yeong-geun? A massive loss for our Baek family."
Ignoring the pitying stares and whispers thick with misunderstanding, Baek Cheong trudged on silently.
She had no time for others' gazes. Her mind brimmed solely with the urge to devour one more post.