Is This a Good Thing?

The reason I had to drive a knife into my own gut was simple enough.

The reasoning made sense.

But.

There was no universe in which someone who had been a perfectly ordinary person until five minutes ago went Oh, that tracks! and cheerfully stabbed themselves in the gut.

Common sense had to enter the chat at some point.

At first, comments like those dominated the thread.

The gallery's opinion split cleanly down the middle.

Close your eyes and stab yourself vs. what if you die, though.

Right in the middle of that heated back-and-forth—

The paddak was asking for my call.

Hmm.

I had to admit I was tempted. An easy path to learning aura? From my position, that was almost too good to pass up.

Still. Pointing a blade at my own stomach was terrifying.

Yeah, I'm turning this down.

That was the plan—until I scrolled a little further and one particular comment snagged my eye.

"Hah—!"

The word chicken out had my hands moving before my brain caught up.

If I deleted the comment fast enough, maybe I could still walk this back—

Too much attention. Way too much. Walking it back now was impossible.

"…Haaah."

Look on the bright side.

Climbing the Tower meant injuries of every kind. Getting used to pain now was just mental prep for later. This was training.

And I awaken my aura as a bonus. Win-win.

Thinking of it that way, I felt a lot calmer.

Wait. Isn't this just free real estate?

I bolted straight to the kitchen and yanked out a kitchen knife.

"Hhh… hh…"

I angled the blade toward my stomach and was just steadying my breathing when—

A ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠blue window flooded my vision.

I set the kitchen knife down and listened carefully to everything the paddak had to say.

Good thing I hadn't rushed it. That could have gone very badly.

The paddak's instructions kept going after that.

Her read on people was disgustingly sharp.

No wonder she was a Swordmaster.

"Mmm."

I closed the gallery and picked up the kitchen knife.

…Disinfect first.

This was absolutely not because I didn't want to stab myself yet.

Hisssss!

I doused the blade in rubbing alcohol. Aura could apparently heal wounds, but whether it stopped bacterial infection was anyone's guess.

"Hoo."

I steadied my breathing and focused my mind on my heart.

I don't really know how I'm supposed to do this.

But I could do it. And even if I couldn't, believing I could was a better strategy than the alternative.

One clean motion. Get it over with.

Just shove it in deep enough. That was all.

"Hup—"

I drew in a breath, ready—

Shunk!

—and drove the blade into the lower left side of my abdomen.

I'd expected pain to hit instantly. Strangely, I felt nothing at all.

Thump.

Only my heartbeat.

Thump.

That tiny vibration I never normally noticed began to feel almost reassuring.

…Am I fine?

Maybe the knife hadn't gone in yet. And if that was true, wouldn't the smart move be to stop right now?

…

I knew how ridiculous that was. Still, some desperate corner of me prayed it was true.

Clinging to that absurd hope, I looked down at my stomach.

Squelch…

The kitchen knife was buried in my abdomen, blood already running down around the blade.

"What the fuck…!"

In that instant, searing agony slammed into my mind. Flesh tearing, crushing, grinding—every sensation hit with sickening clarity.

Thud!

My legs gave out and I toppled backward.

"Ghh— aah…!"

It hurt. It hurt so much I thought I'd go insane.

This was dangerous. At this rate I was going to die.

Shit, shit…!

Even so, I clawed for focus and forced myself to remember what I had to do.

Aura.

I needed to feel that damn aura, and I needed it now, or I was finished.

Thump, thump, thump!

I tried to concentrate on my heart the way the paddak had said, but the wild hammering only scrambled my thoughts further.

There was no room left to sense anything like aura.

"Gyaaah…!"

I could feel blood seeping steadily from my gut. Pain filled every corner of my mind, and the world in front of me started to blur.

…Should I not have done this?

Regret was just starting to crawl in when—

Thump.

—something stirred inside my heart.

It was like a black mist, alive and writhing, a living thing.

Thuum…!

It was trying to tear down the wall that separated my heart from everything that was not my heart.

The heart meant only me.

The heart was my world.

Ssshhh…

The black energy shattered the barrier dividing the worlds and spilled outward.

For reasons I couldn't name, that energy felt familiar.

Thump.

My heartbeat roared in my ears, and the black energy began to flow toward my lower abdomen.

I have to stop the bleeding.

The moment I thought it, the black energy coiled around the torn flesh the blade had ripped open.

What the hell…

Severed tissue knitted back together in an instant. The fountain of blood simply stopped.

I was still gaping at the impossibility of it when—

Thud.

—my consciousness cut out.

"Hyaaagh! My stomach!"

I woke up screaming.

I must have blacked out after burying the knife in my gut…

It doesn't hurt at all.

Aside from my lower back complaining about sleeping on the floor, nothing was wrong. It felt like I'd just had a short, weird dream.

Outside the window it was already evening. Had I been out all day?

…More importantly.

There was a strange foreign sensation in my abdomen. I lifted my head and looked down.

"Huh."

The kitchen knife was still stuck in my lower stomach.

What the fuck?

It didn't hurt in the slightest. It sat there as naturally as if it had always been part of my body.

"Urgh…"

A headache hit, and with it came the memories of a few hours ago flooding back.

I must have passed out mid-heal with the aura.

I'd apparently kept treating myself unconsciously the whole time I was out. If I hadn't, I'd have bled to death long ago.

So I survived. Great. But there's a problem.

What exactly was I supposed to do about the kitchen knife currently lodged in my stomach?

"Mmm."

I sat there thinking for a long while and came up empty. Pulling it straight out was probably the best option.

"Hoo…!"

I steadied myself and gripped the handle. Blood would pour out the second it came free, and it would hurt like hell—but I could just heal it with aura again.

Don't chicken out.

I yanked the knife free in one motion—

Psssh!

—and blood sprayed from the hole in my gut.

"Gyaaah…!"

I scrambled to channel my aura. Fortunately, this time there was no complicated process—just moving the black energy already spread through my body.

Saaaa…

Maybe ten minutes of wrapping the wound in aura later, the hole in my stomach was fully closed.

Left a bit of a scar, but whatever.

A scar from stabbing myself with a kitchen knife to awaken my aura?

That was a pure hardcore certification mark.

I stroked the scar with pride and opened the Swordsmanship Forum.

It's all posts about me.

I clicked a random thread to get a feel for the gallery's mood.

"Oh?"

Skimming the comments, the consensus was that awakening aura this fast was flat-out impossible.

Am I… actually cracked?

The thought hit me at the same time as the shitposter instincts honed by years of online community life roared to life.

Most of them clearly didn't believe me.

Alright. Fine.

The gallery has a photo function, doesn't it?

I snapped a few pictures for proof.

That should convince them.

I waited for the comments with high hopes.

Come on. Praise my talent already!

"Huh?"

The comments rolling in were… not what I'd expected.

What was going on?

"Ah."

I'd only meant to photograph the scar on my abdomen. Instead, I'd managed to put my entire figure on full display.

I was still floundering for a response when a few comments actually came to my defense.

Wait. Most of the gallery was women?

The second I showed skepticism, private messages started flooding in nonstop.

…

…

…

"…Uhhh."

Familiar fixed nicks, people I'd barely even noticed before—everyone showed up to send photos of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠themselves. Most of them at least had clothes on.

What is Geom-hui's deal, though.

She alone had sent something extremely suggestive as verification.

Anyway.

So a woman's body really is better suited for swordsmanship.

That also gave me a decent guess as to why I'd been gender-swapped. My body had been rebuilt for swordsmanship.

I closed my eyes and recalled the sensation of channeling aura.

I was about to focus harder and try to feel the form of my aura more clearly when—

Geom-hui suddenly dropping that tone of voice was a little scary.

I started to worry something was wrong.

So my talent was absurd. Got it.

But colors and grades and all that still didn't really land for me.

They already said my talent was cracked.

Did I really need to be any more surprised? That was what I was thinking when—

…Huh?