The Weight She Carries
I finished eating and sat on the living room sofa, staring blankly as I waited for Baek Yerin.
I'd offered to do the dishes, but she'd refused, insisting it would be rude to make a guest help.
With nothing else to do, I glanced around the living room and immediately noticed something.
On one wall were several photographs.
I stood up from the sofa and walked over.
There, a family's precious memories were laid out, and my eyes were drawn to the photo at the very top.
It showed a married couple.
I recognized one of them instantly.
She looked a lot like Baek Yerin.
Yes. This was Baek Yerin's mother—Lee Yeon-hui in her younger days.
And the other person was...
“That’s my dad.”
Baek Yerin had approached without a sound and told me.
I swallowed my surprise and spoke right away.
“He looks tall and handsome in a manly way. Seems like he was in great shape too.”
“He was a firefighter.”
“That’s a cool job.”
I lowered my gaze to the other photos.
...And immediately felt a sense of unease.
As Baek Yerin grew up, the only person always by her side was her mother, Lee Yeon-hui.
It meant there were almost no photos of her with her father, except from when she was very young.
I knew the reason well enough, so a bitter smile tugged at my lips.
Because.
“He died in the line of duty during a rescue operation. I think I was about five.”
Baek Yerin said it calmly.
I was finally starting to understand.
Why she had invited me to her house today.
“Will you listen? To our family’s story.”
The only memory I have of Dad.
It’s from quite a long time ago.
That day, snow had fallen so heavily that the whole world turned white. And in that pure white world...
“Daddy! Don’t go!”
That was when I first experienced parting.
A five-year-old was too young to understand the concept of a funeral.
So instead, I apologized.
I promised I wouldn’t be picky with food anymore, that I’d eat everything.
That I’d be a good girl who listened to Daddy...
Little me cried endlessly while saying those things, and the many people who attended the funeral could only watch the heartbreaking scene.
What stopped my tears was...
“Baek Yerin. Stop crying now.”
Mom.
I was genuinely shocked.
The person who had always called me gently by my first name suddenly spoke coldly, using my full name.
“Daddy’s just taking a really long nap. So let’s wait quietly with Mom until he wakes up.”
As she said that, Mom hugged me tightly.
But even then, I could vaguely tell.
Her hands, wrapped around me, were trembling violently.
Mom was holding back a grief bigger than anyone else’s in that room.
For no one but me.
She must have made a vow right then.
That she would keep her crying daughter from falling apart...
That she would try not to let her feel the empty space left by Dad.
After that, Mom worked late into the night every day to raise me alone.
“Yerin, isn’t there anything you want?”
It was because she didn’t want her daughter to feel like she was lacking anything.
And I always shook my head at that question.
There were actually so many things I wanted.
I was young, so I was full of curiosity, and I wanted all the things other kids took for granted.
But even a child has eyes.
The moment I saw Mom’s face, always exhausted, and the times she fell asleep on the living room sofa so she wouldn’t wake me... those thoughts vanished in an instant.
“Should we go to the amusement park today?”
On weekends, Mom would always take me somewhere fun.
She must have been so tired...
She must have wanted to rest...
But Mom never showed any sign of it and played with me with all her heart.
Thanks to her, my memories are still filled with precious moments with Mom.
So much so that I didn’t feel Dad’s absence in those times.
One day, I had a thought.
I wanted to do something for Mom, who worked so hard.
That something was housework.
Starting with cooking, then laundry, cleaning, and so on.
Of course, I wasn’t good at any of it at first.
If I asked Mom to teach me, she would definitely refuse, so I had no choice but to learn on my own.
And among them, cooking was the biggest wall.
At first, I followed a video and accidentally used sugar instead of salt.
It was the kind of mistake that could crush any confidence in cooking, but...
“It’s delicious? Should I look forward to the next one too?”
Mom ate my first attempt with genuine delight, without a trace of falsehood.
Thanks to that, I found a goal.
Next time, I’d make something even more delicious, just like Mom said.
“Wow… At this point, you could really sell this for money.”
“Hehe. Just tell me anytime if there’s something you want to eat.”
That goal continued with every attempt, and eventually I reached a whole new level.
So I was really happy.
Because it felt like I’d lightened Mom’s burden even a little.
But happiness is never forever.
“Cancer…?”
The body Mom had pushed to its limits for her daughter had fallen ill.
From that moment, my happiness ended.
At the same time, I got angry.
Why was the world so cold only to our family?
And that anger quickly turned into sorrow.
Having to watch Mom’s pain right in front of me, and the deep loneliness of being left alone in the world.
Those things slowly began to eat away at my heart.
So for a while, I couldn’t even smile properly. There wasn’t much to smile about anyway.
I just wanted to spend as much of the remaining time as possible with Mom.
Because that was my only comfort and warmth.
While cherishing each day like that, I received a suggestion from a classmate.
“You should try performing on the festival stage!”
“Festival stage…?”
“Yeah! They say the prizes for the top ranks are amazing this time. Yerin, you sing really well.”
Honestly, it sounded tempting.
The prize was one thing, but more than that, I wanted to release some of the knot in my heart.
Aren’t there a lot of people who do exactly that?
They go to karaoke to relieve stress and sing.
Choosing the song for the stage was quick.
It was the ballad Afterimage.
A song that whispers longing and apology to a precious person.
It fit my situation perfectly, and before I knew it, my first stage was over.
And when the performance ended and I saw the audience’s reaction, the feeling was truly...
Hard to put into words.
It was so strange, something I’d never experienced in my entire life.
But that was it.
The sadness in my heart was still there.
In fact, it hasn’t changed even now.
Only...
“Hey, have you ever thought about becoming a singer?”
Thanks to meeting you, I realized the world isn’t entirely cold.
You taught me a happiness strong enough to make me forget my sadness for a while.
So...
So, you see.
“Won… What am I supposed to do about my mom…”
I had no choice but to pour out my sadness to you.
Watching the teardrops slide down Baek Yerin’s cheeks, Ryu Won widened his eyes.
Baek Yerin, who had always drawn people in with her bright smile and positive image.
This was the first time he’d ever seen it.
Her crying.
Baek Yerin continued in a strained voice.
“Mom worked so hard to raise me… and I haven’t been able to repay her for anything…”
Baek Yerin knew every bit of the love and sacrifice her mother, Lee Yeon-hui, had given her.
But she couldn’t return any of it.
Because the time they had left together was painfully short.
That was why Baek Yerin had fallen into sorrow and honestly confessed it all to Ryu Won.
She knew full well how shameless it was to burden him with something like this.
She knew how selfish it was, too.
But right now, Baek Yerin had no one but Ryu Won.
No one else she could open her heart to, no one else she could lean on...
And.
“It might be right. Or it might be wrong.”
“What…?”
“I have a good idea. So just trust me.”
He reached out to her again with another offer of salvation, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Suddenly, a thought crossed Baek Yerin’s mind.
What if...
If she took the hand he offered,
and he even solved this sadness of hers.
What would she become then?
Still, Baek Yerin took his hand without hesitation.
After all, she had no other choice but him.
And after everything was neatly resolved, the person who would have to worry about what came next...
Wouldn’t be Baek Yerin.
It was Sunday.
Kang Beom-jun was enjoying a golden weekend for the first time in a long while.
He’d been forced to work even on weekends lately because of his artists’ debut and promotions, but things had finally stabilized.
So he savored the leisurely mood and brewed coffee out of habit.
Ahh. Just the smell of coffee filling the living room was enough to melt away all the hardship he’d endured...
“As if.”
Kang Beom-jun gave a wry smile, thinking about just how much he really had suffered.
Still, well...
Looking at the schedule ahead, he might actually get some breathing room for a while, right?
With that thought, Kang Beom-jun lifted his coffee cup.
And immediately, the cup began to tremble violently in his hand.
Ziiing—
Because a call had come in on Sunday morning.
From Ryu Won.
The craziest guy Kang Beom-jun knew.
Thanks to that, several assumptions popped into his head.
1. Ryu Won hardly ever calls first.
2. Ryu Won only calls when he needs something.
3. If it’s on a weekend, it’s usually not a small matter.
Putting it all together, Kang Beom-jun reached one conclusion.
I'm screwed.