A Name to Raise Him Skyward

"Hey, Bambi! What are you doing after school today~?"

"Nothing planned. But now I've got something."

"What?"

"Hanging out with someone who doesn't call me Bambi."

"Aww, why~? Your precious fans gave you that name! How can you be like that?"

It had been a while since I'd seen Noh Bihyeok, and he spent a good while snickering and lecturing me about my poor fan-service ethic, insisting I'd never survive in the entertainment industry that way. The moment I walked into school he'd been calling me "Bambi," so I figured he'd picked up something weird somewhere again — but apparently that's what people were calling me on my fan… cafe. The only mercy was that even while teasing me about the name, he didn't give me grief for the fact that a fan cafe existed at all. Wondering if the company already knew, I texted Manager Ahn Jinbae, who replied that he'd been planning to ask me about it this evening anyway. When he asked whether "Biyeon" was all right as a fan name, I answered indifferently that it didn't matter. In the first place, wasn't it strange for me to have any say in what my fans called themselves? Noh Bihyeok was being even more of a hyperactive puppy than usual, probably from the long separation, and I was only half dealing with him when my eyes drifted to an empty desk amid the noisy chatter of the other kids. I found myself staring at it before I knew it, and Noh Bihyeok's grinning gaze followed mine. A large hand swung up and blocked my view.

"Don't look, Bambi. Think happy thoughts."

"I wasn't thinking anything."

"Sure, sure. Our Bambi's got his hands full just thinking about his fans."

This little punk. When I shot the grinning idiot a sidelong glare, he cackled like nothing in the world could possibly be funnier. Was it really that entertaining? Still chuckling at his own nonsense, Noh Bihyeok asked, "But why Bambi of all things?"

As if I would know.

"I mean, Bambi's not the worst… but wouldn't Hedgehog suit you better?"

Where in the world did "hedgehog" come from? I let the remark die, not worth engaging with, but Noh Bihyeok was undeterred and rattled on perfectly happily by himself. I paged through my book while he rested his heavy skull on my shoulder, ignored — though I had to admit I was curious too. Why Bambi? If anyone looked like a deer, wouldn't it be someone like Seong Ijun, more than me? But I had no one I could really ask, so I brushed the curiosity away quickly. And the moment I did, the empty seat I'd seen earlier wedged itself into my mind. The seat Oh Seunghyun had occupied until just a month ago. 'You don't need to concern yourself with any of it, Actor-nim.' When I'd asked about Oh Seunghyun the day I woke up from surgery, Manager Ahn Jinbae had answered with the face of a man who hadn't slept at all. There was so much I wanted to ask, but he looked so exhausted that I couldn't bring myself to pester him further. Some time later I asked Jung Hyun hyung too, but he only stroked my hair and told me to focus on resting for now. Still, there was no need to sit around waiting, frustrated and in the dark. I had Angae. 'Shall we start with this page?''Yes. Thank you, Angae.''It's nothing! It's really no trouble at all….' Holding Angae — transformed into a four-year-old child — in my arms, I went through, one by one, the links Angae projected onto the wall. The greatest advantage of "Angae's search function" was that it had no restrictions. Even websites locked behind security opened right up, which made checking this and that very convenient. I looked at internal documents drafted by the police, and then at various community posts and news articles. What the agency had officially announced amounted to: "A classmate pushed me unintentionally, and the motive behind the shove is currently under investigation."

Naturally, people had gone into an uproar. The reaction was fiercer than I'd expected, which surprised me a little. Well — a kid had openly tried to kill a person right in front of witnesses. It was a big deal. Along the way I learned one more thing. When Angae came to meet me, he couldn't see other people, but while I was awake he could roam anywhere, without limit. One day I asked him to take a look around Manager Ahn Jinbae and the agency, and the next day he came rushing over, eyes wide as saucers. 'Yeonjae! This human is way more incredible than I thought!''Hmm? Why, what about Jinbae hyung?' Angae didn't answer in words; instead he put another image up on the wall. I thought he was about to search for something, but the screen on the wall showed Manager Ahn Jinbae moving around — footage he'd gathered by tailing him all day. So it wasn't just searching — it could record video too. Moments like these made it freshly real that he wasn't human at all. Anyway, what I learned from watching him on a phone call with someone was something I'd never imagined. Manager Ahn Jinbae's parents were the co-heads of the largest law firm in the country. And it seemed he was also close with people who wielded considerable influence within the police force. 'It doesn't matter. I'm taking this all the way.' Manager Ahn Jinbae in that video looked nothing like the man I knew every day. I stared at the unfamiliar sight for a while, then remembered something I'd heard a few days before. Noh Bihyeok had said that Oh Seunghyun was forcibly transferred without even going through formal discipline or the school violence committee, and that the response had been startlingly clean. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠It occurred to me that it might have been Manager Ahn Jinbae pulling strings. He really didn't need to go that far. He was, as ever, a man overflowing with a sense of mission toward his job.

"So are you actually okay now?"

"How many times do I have to say it? I got discharged because I'm fine."

"Ugh~! If you knew how scared Bihyeok was that day, you couldn't talk so coldly about it…."

"…Fine. Karaoke after school, then."

"Okay~! Should I tell Park Ha?"

Noh Bihyeok beamed and bounded off toward Park Haeun. Even now that he could bring it up so playfully, the expression I'd seen on him at the hospital had been anything but playful. The pupils blown wide with shock, the mouth frozen stiff, the eyebrows twisted completely out of shape. Because that image was still seared vividly into me, whenever he brought it up like this I couldn't just brush past it the way I usually would. To be honest, even without having seen that expression, I could well enough imagine how shaken he must have been that day. After all, he was the one standing next to me when the paramedics arrived. Parting ways with your friend only minutes before, then watching him bleeding profusely on the ground — of course that would rattle anyone. 'Well, I've gotten plenty of acting practice in lately anyway.' Thinking I should go listen to Noh Bihyeok's singing at karaoke for the first time in ages, I texted Manager Ahn Jinbae. I told him I was going to karaoke with the kids today, so he didn't need to come. What I hadn't anticipated was that despite replying to my text, he'd gone ahead and parked his car in front of the school anyway.

"Hyung? Did you not see my text— no, wait, you answered it."

"I came to drive you home. Have your friends ride along too."

"…? The karaoke place is right there."

"I know. Get in, Actor-nim."

Before I could even flounder, a gentle push against my back had me climbing into the car. Park Haeun, who'd piled in just as unexpectedly, wore the same baffled look I did — but Noh Bihyeok was already buckled in, grinning ear to ear. And then he actually said this: "Whoa~! A celebrity's car!"

Did this kid even know what a difficult situation was? I was staring in wonder at Noh Bihyeok lounging like it was his own car when Manager Ahn Jinbae got in and greeted Park Haeun.

"Hello. This is our first real conversation, isn't it?"

"Oh, hi! I'm Park Haeun. I'm in Yeonjae's class!"

"Hyung, can we go for a drive?"

"Shall we? You won't be missing karaoke?"

"We can go next time! Park Ha, you're okay with that, right?"

"Yep!"

The sky, dyed in sunset hues, was perfect for a drive. At Noh Bihyeok's suggestion, Park Haeun nodded with both eyes shining wide. Manager Ahn Jinbae smiled and eased the engine to life.

"Then shall we all have dinner together too? There's a place nearby that does excellent kalguksu."

"What. I love noodles. Seriously."

"Lucky, then. Just make sure to get your parents' permission first."

"I'm always fine getting home late~!"

"Me too, today!"

While Park Haeun squirmed in her seat gushing about how amazing the kalguksu would taste, Noh Bihyeok snickered at her. The car, rowdy within seconds, drove straight past the karaoke place. '…I think everyone forgot I'm here too.' It stung a little that not one of them asked what I wanted, but I couldn't say I felt bad about it. Watching the three of them get along like a house on fire, I realized the corners of my own mouth had already turned up. And so the drive, taken so casually, was a novelty, and the glossy kalguksu noodles were delightfully chewy. *** The string of perfectly peaceful days was shattered one evening by words out of Manager Ahn Jinbae's mouth. I thought I'd misheard, and asked him to repeat it.

"…He said that? Himself? That he wants to apologize?"

"Yes. He said you don't have to accept a settlement — he just wants ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to apologize no matter what. He'd make quite the actor, honestly."

The reply came back curt and biting, uncharacteristic of Manager Ahn Jinbae. His deeply furrowed brows looked fierce, though I was certain my own expression was grimmer. An apology? After nearly killing a person, he wants to apologize.

"I don't need any of that."

A disbelieving laugh escaped me before I could help it. Oh Seunghyun's apology — probably the most useless thing in the world. He'd be better off offering money instead.

"Understood. I'll refuse on my end, so please don't trouble yourself over it, Actor-nim."

"Hyung. Even if I don't agree to a settlement, the outcome won't change, right?"

"No. Unfortunately… regardless of whether the victim agrees to settle, given his age, the very most that will happen is a Juvenile Protective Disposition."

Tsk. A Protective Disposition doesn't even leave a criminal record. It made my teeth grind to think of Oh Seunghyun walking the streets as an adult someday, playing the upstanding citizen. I wasn't a saint; I couldn't look kindly on the boy who'd tried to kill me. I didn't want to, either. I was turning over ways to block Oh Seunghyun's path forward when a shadow fell across me. Manager Ahn Jinbae, holding out a neatly sliced apple, smiled gently.

"I did tell you, Actor-nim."

"Yes?"

"That you needn't worry about a thing. Whether it's the Juvenile Act or anything else, none of it will matter much. I'll make it so that prison would have been the kinder outcome."

The tone was far too breezy for the content. And the plans he laid out one after another were methods I had never once imagined. Even hearing them as the victim sent a chill down my spine. Apparently I really was that furious, though. Because listening to all this, I was laughing.

"Before you carry out that plan — could I meet him?"

"So you can receive his apology?"

"No, I don't need that. There's something I want to ask him."

Manager Ahn Jinbae looked puzzled, but when I answered his confusion with ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠a silent smile, he smiled back and said, "As you wish."

He told me he'd keep me updated as things progressed, and that I should stop concerning myself now — and I nodded along obediently. Of course, I had no real intention of letting it go. It was my business, after all. And so the days flowed on until December 31st, when the Acting Awards ceremony was held.