Where Have You Been?

"Where have you been all this time?"

My voice had gone hoarse and nasally, but I couldn't hold the question back.

An-gae, startled by the way I'd been shedding tears for a long while without a word, scrambled around in a panic before finally settling down.

"Mmm. I don't know either. I was unconscious. The moment I touched the Black Stone, I got this creepy feeling all over, and then my body just scattered! Brr, I still get chills thinking about it!"

An-gae shuddered, wearing the appearance of a four-year-old child. Though the small frame was much tinier than mine, those glittering eyes still shone with light. Seeing that familiar face after so long, my own eyes darted busily over every detail.

"I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠didn't know it was that dangerous. I should have guessed from the moment you said you didn't want to do it. I'm really sorry."

"No, no! I didn't see it coming either! Anyway, I'm just glad I made it back! Was I gone for a long time?"

When I told the beaming An-gae it had been about three days, they declared that I must have missed them terribly if I'd gone so far as to cry. There was no trace of teasing in their voice, but given the subject matter, I felt utterly mocked all the same.

Still, there was nothing a guilty party could say in their own defense. I kept apologizing, and the An-gae who had been laughing at first eventually grew flustered.

"Yeonjae! I'm seriously fine! It's not like I was hurt or anything!"

"Still, I'm sorry. I knew you hated that thing, and it happened because of me."

"How is that your fault? I didn't know it would turn out this way either!"

An-gae blinked their big eyes and pressed their lips together. They looked a little uncomfortable, so I stopped apologizing. I still believed it was my fault, but apologizing was, in the end, nothing more than a way to ease my own conscience.

"So you were completely unconscious the whole time?"

"Yep! It was strange, though. I felt like I'd become a 'part' of something… no resistance at all. It was actually comfortable!"

A feeling of having become a part of it. If the Black Stone could exert that kind of influence over An-gae, who had more or less served as my caretaker, then its power must truly be enormous.

When I asked whether their body had scattered the instant they grabbed the stone, they shook their head.

"I never even got a proper grip! My hand just brushed it and I scattered — ahh, it felt like it was alive and moving! Like it was warning me to stay away?"

An-gae frowned slightly, muttering to themselves as they stamped their little feet. Watching those short legs vanish and reappear above and below the chair, I organized what I'd heard. So in the end…

There's nothing we can do about it.

The Black Stone was never something we were meant to touch in the first place, and this time An-gae had nearly vanished for trying to cross that line. If the message was "come no closer," then I had no choice but to heed it.

Once everything had neatly settled in my mind, I looked at An-gae.

"Let's stop here."

"Hm?"

"It'd be nice if we could figure out the exact principle, but I think it's better to be satisfied with this much before things get any more dangerous."

It was frustrating, but no one can understand everything about the world. I'd wanted to uncover the mechanics of the misfortune factors to prepare for meeting more people — but if the price was never seeing An-gae again, things might actually fall apart.

If An-gae appeared in my dream tomorrow too, that would be enough. Having experienced it firsthand, I understood that all the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠more clearly now.

"Hmm… okay! I'll do whatever you say, Yeonjae!"

"Don't. From now on, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Don't force yourself to go along with it."

"Okay! Got it!"

I had spoken slowly and gently, worried they might think I was scolding them, but An-gae simply smiled a round, contented smile. Staring at that blissfully clueless face, words slipped out of me before I knew it.

"Want me to pat your head?"

"…? Yes! I'd love that!"

Even with a puzzled expression, An-gae answered with pure delight. I laid their head on my knee and stroked their hair with all the care I could muster. You never know — there was no guarantee they'd appear tomorrow.

Will I really be able to see them again tomorrow?

To know that this was a being who could vanish at any moment — knowing it and actually feeling it were two entirely different things. For the few hours that felt especially short today, I kept stroking An-gae's head. After gazing for a moment at An-gae smiling and saying see you tomorrow, I answered too. See you tomorrow, An-gae.

"Yeonjae!"

And the next day — just like always, just as naturally — An-gae came running toward me, smiling. Only after seeing that did my heart finally settle.

At the gentle voice coming through my phone, I thanked him and hung up. It turned out that over the past few days, Jung Hyun and Manager Ahn Jinbae had been in constant contact with each other. It had been a while since I last called, so I'd dialed without thinking much of it — but the moment I heard that careful, hesitant are you all right?, I was at a loss for words for an instant.

The mention of how much Manager Ahn Jinbae had worried kept nagging at me, so the second the call ended, I headed out to the living room.

"Hyung. Is now a good time?"

"Yes. Did you need something?"

"No, it's not that I need anything…"

I apologized for making him worry all week, saying I'd had some personal matters to deal with and it seemed I'd caused him trouble. His stiff expression gradually softened as I spoke, and by the time the conversation wound down, it had loosened completely.

"Not at all, Actor-nim. You're okay now, aren't you?"

"Yes. I really am fine now."

"Then I'm relieved. If there's ever anything you want to talk about, just tell me anytime."

It was a line I'd heard so many times by now I'd lost count. I told him I knew, gave my usual reply, and the conversation ended.

Back in my room, I deliberated for a while before texting Noh Bihyeok and Park Haeun. Both of them were apparently glued to their phones, because replies flew back instantly — telling me not to worry about it and that we'd see each other ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Monday.

Once the conversation wrapped up and I set my phone on the desk, an odd feeling washed over me. Why are these people…

"Why won't anyone ask?"

The question filling my head finally spilled out of my mouth. Even if they weren't the curious type, surely this much would pique anyone's interest. They could have at least asked why I'd been acting so strange for days.

Since I couldn't exactly explain about An-gae, I'd even prepared a decent excuse — but nobody asked, and I felt a little bewildered. If it were me…

Hmm, actually, no. I probably wouldn't have asked either. Even if I were curious, I most likely would have just said "glad you're okay" and left it at that, wondering whether I even had the right to pry.

Was everyone else staying quiet for the same reason, or did they simply not care? I mulled it over briefly, then shook my head. It wasn't a question worth agonizing over anyway. If nobody asked, that was less bother for me.

"I'm tired…"

Whatever the case, I was glad the situation had been resolved. I'd wanted to pin down a clear principle so I could better handle my misfortune — and instead I'd learned that simply adapting to circumstances and lying low was the best strategy.

Well, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it was how I'd lived my whole life up to now. Why did I suddenly go thinking otherwise?

People really should live the way they've always lived.

From here on out, forget the Black Stone and the misfortune factors — I wasn't touching any of it. I'd just focus on practicing my acting.

That's what I started it for anyway — the misfortune factors.

I couldn't let myself get that twisted. Enjoying acting was a separate matter; stripping away the misfortune factors was something acting was absolutely required to do. Besides, I'd already signed with an agency. Given the circumstances, faithfully dedicating myself to my craft was the proper share of the work I owed.

As I lay on my bed, my body loosened and drowsiness came naturally. It was the middle of the day, though… should I sleep for just an hour? Come to think of it, I hadn't napped once since seeing An-gae again. Would they show up even if I slept during the day?

I was just about to test it, picturing those round, gleaming eyes, when a cautious knock sounded at the door.

"Actor-nim. Were you sleeping?"

"No. Did you need something?"

"Ah, you have a training session scheduled for next week. I wanted to check whether you'd be available…"

"Training?"

What training? Did he mean acting lessons? They'd said that was something I could request separately if I needed it. When Manager Ahn Jinbae saw my puzzled face, a flash of grim determination passed through his eyes.

"Alright, remember just three things! Keep smiling even in your sleep! Whenever a question comes in, you write it down, no exceptions! And sometimes, silence is the better answer!"

"Yes."

"What are you doing? Repeat after me!"

"…Keep smiling even in your sleep. When a question—"

When I parroted the instructor's words, he told me I sounded far too lifeless and barked at me to shout it with energy again. It wasn't a difficult instruction, but the sight of the instructor's eyes — somehow not entirely sane — drained my strength naturally. He was frightening.

"There are countless cases where a single wrong word sparked controversy. So what's the best way to handle that?"

"You'd be better off never using those words at all."

"Exactly! There are several words that must be erased from your brain entirely. If you turn to the next page, you'll find the list. First, the words that are gender-stereotyping—"

The training's subject was what to watch out for before stepping in front of the public ahead of my full-scale debut. Interview technique, basic etiquette, behaviors that could spark controversy — that was the bulk of it.

I'd wondered if there was something to it, given how grimly serious Manager Ahn Jinbae's face had been when he asked if I'd take the training, but there was nothing that seemed particularly special.

The session, which the instructor ran with sweat pouring down his face and relentless enthusiasm, only ended after several hours. After exchanging repeated thanks for his hard work, I got in the car and asked right away.

"Hyung, why did you ask so gravely back then? I thought something was up, but it was just an ordinary training session."

"…Did I really look that grave?"

"Yes. Very much so."

"The truth is… I thought you'd be better off resting than sitting through training. I asked in the hopes that if you wanted rest instead, I'd push it back no matter what it took. I suppose that's why I looked that way."

The production announcement for The Butterfly Flower on the Zelkova Tree was now less than a week away. Six days after that, the first episode would air. The agency naturally wanted me to complete basic training beforehand, but Manager Ahn Jinbae, apparently, had believed my rest should come first. He added that he'd already prepared arguments for whatever the agency might say, and had been briefly flustered when I agreed so readily.

"I already signed the contract, so obviously I have to do what I have to do."

"Still, nothing matters more than your health! It's not as though anything goes wrong if you can't take the training right this moment."

The reply came back almost like a rebuttal to my careless remark. Watching his jaw set firmly, as if he refused to lose this argument, I swallowed a sigh. I'm really fine now, though. I've told him several times, but apparently he still worries.

Then again, after the way I'd acted so strangely last week, I could understand why Manager Ahn Jinbae couldn't help but be concerned. But a contract was no joke… I'd taken the money, so I had to do my share of the work.

"I know it's only natural for you to be worried, hyung. But work is a separate matter, so when it comes to work-related things, don't hesitate to bring them up."

"…"

I expected some kind of reply — rebuttal or concession — but nothing came back. Silence stretched on for a long while.

Only after parking in front of the house did Manager Ahn Jinbae finally open his mouth. In a voice that was startlingly resolute.

"Actor-nim. There's something I want to say to you."