One Month Later, My Foot
“So he's from your agency, hyung?”
“Yep. Wooyeon Entertainment. Ask any aspiring actor where they want to go, and everyone brings up my agency.”
The support they give their actors really isn't bad either—, he added with a sly smile.
“I hear managers get treated pretty well there, too, for an entertainment company. How is it, Jinbae?”
“It's my first company, so I can't make an exact comparison, but from what I hear from other managers, it really does seem good! There are plenty of managers who want to transfer to ours, too.”
“That's a relief. I was thinking if Yeonjae comes to Wooyeon, he might keep working with you, Jinbae. That'd be nice.”
“Yes. That's true…”
When I faltered at the end of my sentence, flustered, Manager Ahn Jinbae—who had been about to say something more—shot me a cautious glance.
One look at his drooping eyebrows and I could tell exactly what he was thinking, so I said right away, “I've never even considered having anyone other than Jinbae-hyung as my manager.”
His face brightened at that, and I swallowed a sigh. He really does keep you on your toes.
Of course, the reason I'd been flustered had nothing to do with Manager Ahn Jinbae.
It was that, going by what Jeonghyeon-hyung was saying, my continuing to act seemed to have become a foregone conclusion.
Flustered as I was, I managed my expression as best I could and lifted my head. My eyes met Jeonghyeon-hyung's, and he grinned.
…So it was on purpose.
The moment I finally caught on and scrunched up my face, he burst out laughing and, as if to say there, there, transferred one of his yanggaeng onto my plate.
“Of course! What matters is whether Yeonjae wants to keep acting. If! Yeonjae says he'll act, I was wondering how he'd feel about my agency~.”
“Yes, yes. Of course.”
Big words, beautifully wrapped. I gave a small snort and popped one of the yanggaeng, cut into bite-sized pieces, into my mouth.
Not too sweet, soft and crumbly, and delicious. Well, yanggaeng never did anything wrong to anyone.
“Thank you for telling me. I'll think about it.”
“Sure. If anything's weighing on you, call me anytime.”
“Yes. I will.”
After we finished off the rest of the yanggaeng, it was well into the dark of night before we finally left the restaurant.
Once I'd parted ways with Jeonghyeon-hyung, the car stayed silent for the twenty-odd minutes it took to reach the orphanage.
Neither Manager Ahn Jinbae nor I said a word.
I guess there won't be much to see of him until the production announcement.
There was about a month left until then.
After seeing him nearly every day for almost two months, it felt strange to think I wouldn't be seeing him for a whole month.
The car slid smoothly into its usual spot and came to a stop.
Manager Ahn Jinbae pulled up the handbrake, held his silence for a moment, and then spoke slowly.
“Get home safe, Actor-nim.”
“Yes. See you next time. I'll text you.”
His mild, smiling eyes somehow stood out to me more than usual today.
I said my goodbye with an odd feeling in my chest, then opened the door and stepped out slowly.
Just before entering the orphanage, I hesitated, then turned my head.
He was still watching me, so I raised a hand and waved.
His thick eyebrows—distinct even from a distance—twitched, and he hurriedly bowed his head.
The stiff, formal bow felt strikingly distant for someone who'd been attached to me for two months.
It was so utterly like Manager Ahn Jinbae that it made me laugh.
I waved my hand again, smiling. See you in a month.
“Actor-nim! Where should I put this?”
“…Anywhere is fine.”
See you in a month, my foot.
It was Sunday morning, less than twelve hours after we'd parted, and I answered half-heartedly at the voice behind me.
“The kids will just drag everything back out this afternoon anyway, so no need to tidy up too neatly.”
We were cleaning the playroom together, Manager Ahn Jinbae and I.
Why? Because Manager Ahn Jinbae had come to do volunteer work. At Morin Orphanage.
I thought my eyes were deceiving me. I figured I was seeing things from lack of sleep.
Habit had woken me before dawn, so once I was up, I ran through some acting practice.
It wasn't exactly meaningful, since filming had wrapped. Well, at least it brought my Misfortune Factors down.
So there I was, eating breakfast in a restless funk, when I stepped out onto the playground and—lo and behold—there was a familiar car in the parking lot.
I understood then why movie heroes rubbing their eyes isn't just a trope. It happens because you genuinely can't believe what you're seeing.
And then I saw Manager Ahn Jinbae sitting square in the director's office, and I lost my words.
There was a perfectly large sofa in the room, and yet there he was, that massive frame crammed onto a single-seat armchair.
The director, introducing him in my stead as a volunteer who'd be helping out for the day, wore her usual gentle smile.
I couldn't very well say anything in front of her, so I held it in, and the moment we were outside, I asked him what on earth he was doing.
He hemmed and hawed, then told me this.
“Yesterday, after I drove you home, I got a call from this actor-nim, and he asked whether I wouldn't like to keep working with you.”
“This actor-nim? You mean Jeonghyeon-hyung?”
“Yes. He asked what I thought about coming to do volunteer work at the orphanage. He said you'd probably be happy about it…”
This guy, honestly.
I desperately swallowed the sigh rising up my throat. If I sighed here, he'd definitely get the wrong idea.
I'd been about to explain that Jeonghyeon-hyung was teasing him, and that he shouldn't take that man's words seriously from now on.
“I really do just… want to keep working with you, Actor-nim.”
“……”
“I'm sorry for coming without saying anything first. You must have been startled.”
My expression must have been unpleasant, because he spoke with a slightly cowed face, and I found it hard to know what to say.
My feelings were all tangled up, and after casting about for the right words, I finally let out a short breath.
“I told you yesterday, didn't I? If I keep acting, of course I'll be working with you. The question isn't which manager I'll work with—I'm still thinking over whether I'll act at all. So there's no need to worry.”
His complexion brightened, if only a little.
When I told him to hurry home and get some rest, he flatly refused, insisting he'd already been assigned his tasks for the day and had to finish them before leaving.
With the manager clearly cleaning in the next room over, it would have been absurd for me to lie in my room alone anyway.
And so I too gave up my day off and ended up clearing away the mess of scattered toys.
“It's a relief that most of my assigned work is cleaning. I was worried you might ask me to play with the children.”
“Why? You seem like you'd be good at that.”
“I could play with them well, I think… but I was afraid the children might not like it.”
The voice drifting over from behind me was so forlorn that I nearly burst out laughing.
Granted, at first glance he is a bit intimidating.
Tall, broad. Thick brows with a scratch slashed through them—he has a hard face.
But the kids would figure it out after a few conversations. That he's a good person.
“We don't leave the children with first-time visitors. At least not until someone's been coming for over three months.”
“I see. The long-term volunteers certainly do seem more practiced at looking after the children.”
“Mm, it's not really about that.”
I stuck out my tongue as I picked up a stuffed duck that had been stripped of every stitch of clothing.
I didn't think this material was even removable, yet here it was, thoroughly undressed.
“Once you play with the kids, they'll go on and on about you until the next time you come. Asking when you'll be back.”
“Ah…”
“We prefer to introduce the children only when we're sure a volunteer will keep coming. It's easier on everyone that way.”
Comforting the heartbroken kids who cry is the teachers' job, after all. Really, nothing about this place is ever easy.
I gave the now-quite-tidy playroom a quick once-over, said we'd stop here for today, and stepped out of the room.
Manager Ahn Jinbae, who'd been lost in some thought or other, followed me with a bewildered look.
“Actor-nim. Then shall I—”
“Today's laundry day for the blankets in Building A. We're going to go do that together.”
“…! Yes! Of course.”
When I stole a glance at him, his face was glowing with anticipation.
He seemed relieved to have found something he could genuinely be useful for.
He was even rolling up his sleeves, readying himself for who knew what, so I deliberately left him to it.
And thirty minutes later, a hollow voice escaped Manager Ahn Jinbae's lips.
“…This is the blanket washing you meant.”
Where we stood now was the coin laundromat near the orphanage.
From the look of him, he'd been imagining a big washtub with blankets stomped down by foot. Well, it does show up in a lot of dramas.
“It's convenient, isn't it? It's not like the cost breaks the bank if you batch it all at once.”
“I suppose so…”
So the man had quite the romantic streak.
Watching him look vaguely sulky, I gave him a figurative pat on the back.
If it means that much to him, he can go home and wash his own blankets by hand.
The reply came back: please don't tease me. I hadn't expected him to catch it, and it was oddly impressive that he did.
We sat down side by side on the bench and stared blankly at the tumbling drum of the washing machine.
With no one else around, the only sound was the droning rhythm of the machine, over and over.
Only then did the accumulated fatigue press in, and my eyes began to flutter—when Manager Ahn Jinbae spoke quietly.
“Actor-nim. You remember what you said to actor Kim Seokjun yesterday, don't you. About how he looked like he enjoyed acting.”
“Yes.”
“…That goes for you as well, Actor-nim.”
I tore my eyes from the washing machine and turned my head.
The sun was sinking, and yellow light spilled into the laundromat.
Maybe because of that, I couldn't quite make out the eyes of the person beside me.
“You truly look like you're enjoying yourself when you act.”
What I could see clearly were his restless, wriggling eyebrows.
He must have been nervous. Thinking that, I almost laughed.
When I said nothing, he grew flustered and his words began to spill out.
“Not that I said it with any particular intention. I've just wanted to tell you ever since I heard that remark yesterday. I didn't mean to burden you… though I suppose I have made it more of one. But what I truly wanted to—”
“I enjoy acting too.”
“…! Do you?”
“Yes. But I'm not sure I should keep doing it.”
The tension that had stiffened his jaw eased back at my words.
“May I ask why you think that?”
“Because it would only be a good thing for me.”
Manager Ahn Jinbae, understandably, didn't follow.
I knew my explanation was unhelpful, but I couldn't add anything more. It concerned An-gae.
A year had already passed since the day I first met An-gae, but there'd be nothing strange about waking up tomorrow and never seeing them again.
There are always variables, and it isn't something I can control at will.
And the Black Stone—I still hadn't figured out a single thing about it.
What if, starting next week, I couldn't see An-gae anymore?
What if I acted, and the Misfortune Factors wouldn't go down?
Jeonghyeon-hyung, Manager Ahn Jinbae, actor Kim Seokjun, Han Seyeong, Seong Ijun… the more I acted, the more people I'd come to know.
If any of them came to harm because of me, how could I ever face their families again?
And could I even bear it?
“Trying something just because I want to—that's far too selfish.”
No—I couldn't bear it. I wasn't certain of anything. I had no confidence in myself.
Manager Ahn Jinbae didn't argue with me easily.
Silence settled between us, and only after the dryer chimed its completion did he speak, slowly.
“Actor-nim. For now…”