The Line That Must Not Be Crossed
So it wasn't just my imagination.
I swallowed a sigh as I felt Seo Jio's gaze on me from across the room.
The stares that had followed me since yesterday felt unusually prickly today.
What's gotten into him?
Under normal circumstances I would've brushed it off—the kid was always a little strange—but the timing of his staring was suspicious. Whenever Haram nestled into me, murmuring softly, or when I patted his head, Seo Jio's gaze sharpened with particular intensity.
…Could he actually like the kid?
I stiffened at the thought that came unbidden.
Haram's hand, which had been stroking my forehead, paused, and he looked up at me, puzzled.
"What's wrong? You stopped petting me."
"Haram, listen. Even if someone says they're my friend, you can't just trust them. Got it?"
"Huh?"
"No matter how close they are to me, you can't trust them. Even if they say 'come with me,' you don't go. Understand?"
Haram blinked at the sudden warning. Then he tilted his head.
"What if it's Jinbae hyung?"
"…"
"I can't go even then?"
I hesitated for a moment before speaking.
"Even if it's Jinbae hyung—no. Even if it's me, you don't go. Don't trust me either."
"Huh??"
Haram pressed a worried hand to my forehead, asking if I was feeling unwell.
"You don't have a fever, though…."
Looking at the concern in his eyes, I found myself at a loss for words.
What am I even doing right now?
I sighed and shook my head.
"Never mind. Just ignore everything I said."
"Okayyy."
At this point, wasn't the separation anxiety mine rather than his?
After all, I was the one who'd shoved Haram into my arms the moment break time hit, so I hardly had a leg to stand on.
Am I being too paranoid?
But this was a kid who'd been kidnapped barely days ago.
Anyone would be on edge. Of course they would.
Right. That's it.
I nodded slowly to myself.
I'm not the one being weird here.
If anything qualified as strange, it was the eyes I felt whenever Haram was beside me. The moment I'd organized my thoughts, I turned my head without hesitation.
"…!"
Seo Jio had received no warning whatsoever, so his eyes collided with mine before he could dodge.
I didn't give him a single second to salvage the situation before mouthing the words.
We need to talk.
He should be able to read lips this deliberate.
Fortunately, Seo Jio seemed to catch my meaning. He gave a small nod.
I didn't take my eyes off his slightly stiffened face.
If he's after Haram, then…
That was something I couldn't overlook.
I knew that Seo Jio wasn't such a bad kid, at least not anymore. Sometimes he was a snake whose insides were impossible to read, and other times he was more honest than anyone I knew.
Seo Jio.
Can't you call me Jio? It feels like you're uniquely cold to me. Or is that just my imagination?
It's not your imagination.
You're so mean.
You're right. I am being mean right now. So why don't you go play with someone else?
No. Nobody else is as famous as you.
I knew exactly why he'd approached me. And ever since I told him that I'd play along with his goal as long as he never crossed the line, he hadn't crossed it. Not once.
Seo Jio wants to be a famous actor.
That was why he kept Lee Yeonjae close. Nearly two years after we'd met, that fact hadn't changed.
Of course, the truth wasn't exactly pleasant—but neither did it disgust me. Conversations with Seo Jio were genuinely entertaining, and I'd never lost anything by knowing him.
But Haram is different.
That boy was another matter entirely.
He'd already grown up through so much hardship. What he'd suffered so far was more than enough. I couldn't let him get tangled up in anything strange on top of it.
I should drill it into him while I have the chance.
These days Seong Ijun was grown enough that I let him and Seo Jio meet on their own. There was a time, though, when I'd gone to great lengths to make sure the two of them never contacted each other privately.
Even if my opinion of Seo Jio had shifted, the fact remained that he was capable of wielding significant influence over someone.
Not Haram.
He could use me all he wanted—more, even.
But not this kid. Whatever his reasons, Haram wasn't someone that could ever be allowed.
…Absolutely not.
Before I realized it, my arms had tightened around Haram.
"Yeonjae?"
Murmuring an apology at his bewildered voice, I eased my grip—but I didn't look away from Seo Jio. Perhaps because of the sharpness in my eyes, his face turned faintly flustered.
Even as I understood where he was coming from, a dozen possibilities rattled through my head. The thought that Seo Jio might want to use Haram. That single hypothetical alone was enough to make my body tremble with disgust.
Seo Jio was quick on the uptake.
I didn't even need to name a meeting spot. The moment I slipped away to a secluded corner, he appeared within seconds.
"Yeonjae."
"…"
When I stared at him in silence, he gave an awkward smile.
"I guess I was staring a little too obviously. Sorry if it rubbed you the wrong way."
"Why were you staring?"
I pressed on without pause.
"Was it because of Haram?"
"Huh?"
"Are you interested in Haram?"
The words came out sharper than I intended. Seo Jio faltered for a beat, then simply looked at me. Then, slowly, he opened his mouth.
"That's fascinating. You… genuinely never think about yourself. It's almost remarkable."
"Don't dodge the question. Answer me."
"Why would I be interested in him?"
"Hey, is my question really that hard?"
My brow furrowed, whether from impatience or irritation I couldn't tell. Seo Jio watched me snap at him.
"All you have to say is yes or no. Unless there's some reason you can't answer?"
"No—sorry. That's not what I meant."
Seo Jio accepted it and answered directly.
"I'm not especially interested in him. He just kept trailing after you like a duckling, so I watched. I was a little curious, that's all."
"Curious about what?"
"How gentle you are with him. Look, I know you're always soft with the people around you. You're that way with Seong Ijun. You're even that way with me."
Seo Jio shrugged.
"Even accounting for that, the way you treat him just seems different. I wanted to know why. I figured maybe it was because he's young."
The lazy, drawling tone of it grated on me strangely. Before I could answer, Seo Jio tilted his head.
"But apparently it's not just that he's young? You looked at the director's daughter this morning like she was a piece of furniture. Haha."
He laughed. I didn't.
"So that's the whole reason you stared at me all day? You were dying to know why I'm especially gentle with Haram?"
Even with disbelief written all over my face, the reply that came back was underwhelming.
"Yeah. That's it."
"…"
"Was there supposed to be more?"
He sounded genuinely baffled, and I hesitated before speaking.
"Don't touch Haram."
"What does that mean, don't touch him?"
"It means don't use him to ride my fame."
"…"
Seo Jio fell silent. Doing my best to unclench my eyes, I delivered the words I'd been preparing, slowly.
"Haram is a good kid. Still a child. I don't know yet whether he'll become an actor or a model when he grows up, but either way, that's a decision he gets to make for himself."
And I intended to help him make it. I would shield him from being swayed—whether by his mother, by Seo Jio, or by anyone else.
"He isn't a kid who should be pushed around by somebody. I know the kidnapping has people watching him right now. I know that from your position, handled well, he could be a real asset."
I needed to keep something buried, or my words would come rushing out too fast. I took a deep breath to keep my voice level.
"I know how unpleasant it must be to hear this when you had no such intention at all. I'm sorry. But I still had to say it."
"…"
"Not him."
I pressed my fingertips hard into my palm. My jaw had clenched without my noticing, my fist white-knuckled.
"Do it to me instead. I can take it."
"…"
Seo Jio didn't answer for a long while. I just stared at the floor, words drained out of me until my head felt oddly blank.
Well, at least that's a relief.
I couldn't be certain he was telling the truth, but Seo Jio had just said he had no particular interest in Haram. And even after hearing that, I'd gone ahead and warned him anyway.
After all those years of telling him not to cross the line, here I was, crossing it myself.
Anyone watching would think I gave birth to Haram.
He was right, and I was aware of it—I doted on that boy more than I did anyone. Noh Bihyeok, Seong Ijun, Lee Euntaek, every kid around me, I cared for them all. But I'll admit it honestly: when it came to Haram, I was unusually sensitive.
He's just so young, that's all.
Haram was only nine. Of course he needed looking after.
That's all it is. I'm just looking out for him.
Even as I made my excuses, some part of me already knew the truth: that my attitude toward him wouldn't change even after he grew up. Those gentle eyes, those soft cheeks, that bright, clear smile.
He was simply impossible not to love. Haram really was a good kid—just like I'd told Seo Jio.
Above all…
Whenever I saw those eyes chasing after me so earnestly, someone else surfaced in my memory. Thinking of that boy who might be watching me even at this very moment, I clenched my hand again—
And Seo Jio took hold of it.
"…?"
What the—
He didn't flinch even under my icy glare.
"What are you doing?"
The sudden contact made my skin crawl, but before I could shake him off, his hand was already gone. My palm, which he'd pried open, was covered in crescent-shaped marks where my nails had dug in.
"Figured you'd hurt yourself."
"…"
His tone was utterly flat. No other motive, no lingering attachment—his voice carried nothing but that.
"My Yeon-i does it too."
"…Your cat?"
"Yeah. You know kneading? Cats do it when they're happy."
Then he explained that they didn't only do it when they were happy.
"They say sometimes cats do it to calm themselves down. When they're too tense, or when their hearts are anxious."
"…"
"Noh Bihyeok does it, your fans do it. Honestly, none of you have any self-awareness. You're a cat, plain and simple."
There he goes with the cat thing again.
When I looked at him coldly, he smiled, unhurried as ever.
"Yeonjae. I understood everything you wanted to say. I won't let anything you're worried about happen."
There was nothing else to read in the eyes that met mine squarely. I nodded slowly.
"Good. I'm counting on you. Thanks."
I added an apology too—sorry, truly, if I'd offended him.
That puts my mind a little more at ease.
I couldn't claim to know Seo Jio perfectly, but he wasn't a liar.
He'll keep his word.
Haram would never be used by him. That left only Haram's mother to deal with.
I was in the middle of sorting through it all in my head when Seo Jio, who had been lost in thought just like me, spoke up.
"Yeonjae. I've never really regretted anything in my life."
"…? Okay."
"I used to regret not holding on when my mom left. But not anymore. Not really. Now that I know what she was thinking when she walked out of that house."
And thanks to that, I'd even been able to dream of becoming an actor.
He gave a loose, careless smile.
"But do you know what I regret most right now?"
There he goes again.
I just looked at him—this kid who turned everything into a question. Seo Jio's slow smile gradually soured into something bitter.
"You."
"…"
"The moment I first spoke to you. That's the thing I regret most."