Beside Me

Ahn Jinbae waited until Lee Yeonjae had fallen completely asleep before stepping out into the living room. Lee Jeonghyeon was sitting on the sofa, his face a tangle of conflicting emotions.

"Jinbae."

"Yes."

"What do you make of what Yeonjae said?"

Ahn Jinbae answered without a moment's hesitation.

"I don't believe anything I haven't seen with my own eyes."

"……"

"I don't believe in God's existence either. But that doesn't mean I refuse to respect the people who do."

"So you believe Yeonjae is telling the truth, but you can't bring yourself to believe in this 'Mist' entity?"

"That's right."

Ahn Jinbae gave a small nod.

"Because I've never experienced it myself. With my personality, that can't be helped. The young master knows that, too."

His tone was surprisingly light. Lee Jeonghyeon, by contrast, looked thoroughly troubled.

"Me, well, haah, I don't know. Of course I know Yeonjae wouldn't lie to us. But does something like that actually exist? It makes no sense."

"If you're going to be that strict about it, then the fact that the young master found out where Haram was being held makes no sense either."

"……That's true. I know."

Which was exactly why it was driving him crazy. Lee Jeonghyeon rubbed his forehead.

"Are we really okay not telling the doctor? What if there's something we don't know about?"

"There could be. Even so, we can't tell the doctor."

The words that followed were resolute.

"We both promised the young master, didn't we? That we wouldn't tell a soul."

"……"

"I have no intention of breaking a promise I made to him."

Lee Jeonghyeon let out a deep sigh.

"Haah, it's not that I want to break the promise either. But Yeonjae's still a kid. If there's a way to help him, I want to help."

"There's plenty of time. You'll have more than enough opportunity to talk with him."

Ahn Jinbae said they could figure ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠out how to help as things went along. The truth was, he didn't consider it something to worry over greatly. If anything, part of him felt relieved. They finally knew who Mist was, and what the entity meant to his actor.

"Everyone has something they believe in. Some people believe aliens exist."

"Jinbae, this isn't the kind of thing to wave off so lightly. All those hyperventilation episodes were tied to Mist, remember."

Lee Jeonghyeon was serious.

"Personally, if it's what Yeonjae believes in, I don't care whether it's aliens or a yokai. I'm just grateful there's a being out there that can make him feel safe. But Yeonjae isn't at the level of believing lightly."

The mere thought of Mist disappearing was enough to send the boy into a panic. What is he going to do if it actually vanishes one day? Lee Jeonghyeon couldn't bear the thought of watching the boy fall apart with no time left to do anything about it. Just as Lee Jeonghyeon meant the world to Yeonjae, Yeonjae meant a great deal to Lee Jeonghyeon as well. It was still vivid in his mind — the boy unable to breathe properly, falling into total panic.

"He's already been through so much. I just want Yeonjae to never get hurt again."

"I feel exactly the same. Which is precisely why I'm saying our attitude right now matters so much."

Ahn Jinbae thought back to an hour earlier, when his actor had been explaining about Mist. A calm expression. A composed, measured voice. But his hands had been trembling, and his face drained white. Those eyes, afraid of being seen as a madman.

"The young master is more rational than almost anyone I've met. For a person like that to bring up something so outlandish couldn't have been easy at all."

And yet, he had trusted them with it. Ahn Jinbae decided to stake everything on that trust.

"The best thing we can do right now is stay by his side. And be grateful that we're able to."

"……"

After a long pause, Lee Jeonghyeon nodded.

"Yeah. You're right. Let's do that."

For a long while afterward, the two of them discussed what they would need to be careful about going forward. All while thinking of Lee Yeonjae, who was with Mist at this very moment.

"Yeonjae, what are you thinking about?"

Mist asked. I gazed quietly at the boy before answering.

"That your head is heavy?"

"……Tch."

Mist, who had been using my arm as a pillow, looked miffed. With an air of wounded pride, the boy tapped his own head against my arm like a stamp — pop, pop, pop — and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"I was thinking about the hyungs. I was wondering what those two are talking about right now."

"I'll tell you tomorrow!"

"No, that's fine. You don't have to tell me."

I smiled and smoothed Mist's hair.

"Everyone reacted better than I expected, so it's fine. If it had been me, I'd have treated myself like a total lunatic. They're just really kind people."

"If they'd been mean, I would have scolded them for you!"

"That's sweet of you to say."

"I'm not just saying it! I mean it!"

Mist sulked, asking why I wouldn't believe it.

"Okay, okay. Calm down."

I gently soothed the whining boy and pulled him into a hug. Good grief. Surrounded by nothing but kids, wasn't I. The thought that Mist was somehow becoming even more childlike brought a laugh out of me. You smell good. A familiar scent drifted from Mist, curled up in my arms. The smell of rain — the kind that left the inside of your nose feeling fresh and damp when you breathed it in deep. There was a hint of wood in it too, and something beyond words entirely. I always thought this, but Han Haram smelled a lot like rain as well. Do kids just all smell similar? When I breathed in deeper out of curiosity, Mist giggled and said it tickled.

"Yeonjae, you look happier than usual today!"

"Mm. I am happy."

Bihyuk, Jinbae-hyung, Jeonghyeon-hyung. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I had no idea how much of what I said the three of them would believe. Maybe deep down they thought I'd lost my mind. Out of love for me they wouldn't let it show, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were quietly, unconsciously looking for treatment options. Still, it's okay. But it was okay. Who could have known that simply having people who knew about Mist would be such an enormous comfort?

"You heard what Bihyuk said earlier, right? He likes you."

"I like that guy too!"

Before the words had even left my mouth, Mist transformed into Noh Bihyuk. He was far taller than me, so there was no way he could fit in my arms — but the way he stubbornly tried to wedge himself in anyway was so very Mist-like.

"Ah, but don't get the wrong idea! Yeonjae is my favorite of all!"

"You're my favorite too."

"Heehee!"

Mist laughed brightly. I looked into those clear, clean eyes and thought about all the moments I'd been hurt, aching, tormented, and worn down. Maybe it had all been a road leading to this one moment. And if it had been, I decided it was worth every bit of it. I'm so glad you exist. I wrapped my arms tightly around Mist. The misfortune factors, the Black Stone — none of it mattered anymore. Because right now, beside me, there were Jinbae-hyung and Jeonghyeon-hyung and Bihyuk, and more good people than I could count. I can't do this without you. And all of this was possible because Mist existed.

"Mist. Promise me you'll never go anywhere. You have to stay by my side."

"Yeah! Of course!"

At that bright, sunny voice, the corners ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of my mouth lifted on their own. The warmth I felt within my embrace, the soft breath against my chest. I let myself relax, once more.

"Haram. What did I tell you earlier?"

At my words, Han Haram immediately shouted back.

"Don't leave Jinbae-hyung's side, don't go to the bathroom alone, and if I want water, tell Jinbae-hyung first!"

"And what do you do if a stranger talks to you?"

"Don't talk back!"

"That's right. Good job."

I patted Han Haram's head. It felt like an extreme approach, and it did weigh a little on my conscience. But well — better safe than sorry.

"Wow! The ocean is so cool!"

"I'm glad. I had a feeling you'd like it."

Han Haram and I had arrived on set for Shin Yoo-young. The scenery was as peaceful as it had been three days ago, and it put my mind at ease for no particular reason.

"Yeonjae, are you feeling okay? Will you be able to film?"

"Of course."

Every staff member I passed asked after my well-being. Why was everyone acting like I'd been the one kidnapped? If anyone were watching, they'd think I was the kidnap victim here. And with Han Haram right beside me, it was a little embarrassing.

"Director. Hello."

"Yeonjae, you're here? Ah, is this the kid you saved? Adorable. What's your name?"

At the director's words, Han Haram swiftly ducked behind me. Good listener, this one.

"He's Han Haram. He's quite shy around strangers, so please be patient with him."

"Ah, then of course I understand. I'm raising a four-year-old daughter myself. You did a great thing."

The director gave my shoulder a couple of hearty pats and said he looked forward to working with me today. As he moved to pass by, he pointed at Han Haram's shoes.

"Did you tie those laces like that on purpose? That's unusual."

"……"

Han Haram hung his head low. But seeing him squirm, trying to hide his feet, the director quickly backed off — "Oh, dear. I didn't mean anything by it. Sorry, sorry."

"Yeonjae, am I weird?"

"Not weird at all."

"But that man said…."

Han Haram's shoelaces weren't tied in an ordinary knot — they ran in one long, continuous strand, the way a small child would tie them all by himself. Naturally. Because he'd tied them himself. And yet when he insists on doing it alone, he won't let anyone help. That very morning he'd refused my help, insisting he could do it himself. Then one comment from someone else and his whole attitude flips. The sudden deflated look on his face drew a laugh right out of me. A real kid, through and through.

"The director said you're unusual. He didn't say you were weird."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"'Unusual' means you're different from other people. It means you're one of a kind. It's not a bad thing."

Even after my words, the boy's expression didn't lift. Sigh. I bent down and untied my own shoelaces. Then I retied them in a single long strand just like Han Haram's, and looked up at him.

"There. All done. We're matching now."

"……Hee."

Han Haram broke into a shy smile.