Dating, Gossip, and an Unwelcome Voice
I hesitated for a moment before speaking up.
"Mia, can I ask you something? Just to make sure."
"Sure."
"When you say 'hang out together'—do you actually mean just hanging out? Or is this, like, a date?"
Even as the words left my mouth, I felt awkward. If I'd gotten the wrong idea, I'd want to bite my tongue off right then and there from sheer embarrassment—but it was still better to be sure. Better than letting things get weird between us later for no reason.
But contrary to my expectations, Mia answered with complete composure.
"It was a date invite, duh?"
"......."
"What? Am I not good enough for you?"
Mia tilted her head and muttered, 'As if that could be it.' Her sheer confidence was what threw me off balance instead.
"No, it's not that you're not—look..."
"Knew it. So we're dating, then?"
"No. Calm down."
I had to talk Mia down as she barreled forward like a bulldozer. It was a little frightening. Swallowing a sigh, I spoke slowly and carefully.
"Mia, I really appreciate how you feel, but I'm not looking to date anyone right now. So meeting you separately would be... difficult."
I chose my words as delicately as I could, so she wouldn't feel embarrassed.
'When will I ever get used to moments like this?'
I was thinking I probably never would, when the other person suddenly recoiled in horror.
"Whoa, dude, relax! When did I ever say I wanted to date you? I just meant one date??"
I'm sorry, what?
"I have no intention of seeing you seriously either! I was just talking about a casual date, that's all."
Mia looked genuinely flustered. And I was every bit as flustered as she was.
'What kind of nonsense is this?'
The Confucian spirit inside me twitched awake once more. When I asked why anyone would go on a date if they weren't even going to date, Mia's jaw dropped.
"Uh, that's... oh my god, how do I even explain this."
She reacted as if she'd never heard such a question in her entire life. After hesitating for a long while, she shook her head.
"Never mind. Forget what I just said. I didn't expect to feel a culture gap over this. You're seriously old-fashioned, you know that?"
Old-fashioned?
'Does it not occur to you that you're the one who's excessively liberal?'
It was absurd, but I figured arguing further would be pointless, so I let it go.
"......."
And so the two of us sat in silence. It was quite a while later that Mia, staring blankly at the floor, suddenly snorted with laughter.
"You really are... something else. Wow, how does a person like you even exist?"
"That's my line."
At my immediate retort, Mia burst into cheerful laughter, as if even that struck her as funny.
"You're adorable, seriously. Kind of a shame, though. You're really sure you won't go on a date with me?"
"Yes."
"Oh my god, look how firm that is. So cute."
Mia gazed at me with a face brimming over with fondness and amusement. When my expression grew even warier, she threw her hands up, laughing loudly.
"Relax. I wouldn't chase after a guy who's made it clear he's not interested, not even a little. I completely understand what you've said, so I won't put any moves on you from now on. Promise."
Well, that was a relief.
'Exhausting.'
I felt like if I could, I'd knock myself out cold on the back of the neck.
'At least then I could see the Mist right away.'
As I was sighing inwardly, Mia continued with a smile.
"You're planning to keep working in Hollywood, right?"
"If circumstances allow."
It wasn't as though I could simply declare that I wanted to keep working. But if the conditions were there, there was no reason to refuse, either.
'The CEO wants it, after all.'
CEO Jang had said before that working alongside international actors would elevate my standing in the industry. In fact, he'd been the most enthusiastic of anyone about the offer to appear in Lily's music video. As long as I was an actor under Wooyeon Entertainment, I naturally had to defer to my boss's wishes to some degree.
'But why is she asking about that?'
Just as I was puzzling over it, Mia solved the mystery for me right away.
"If you're going to keep working here, I figured there's something you should know. This world runs on gossip."
"Gossip?"
"Yeah. Who's dating who, who unfollowed who on In-stagram, who showed up at which party, stuff like that. There are more than a few people who make their living off completely useless things."
Mia shrugged, smiling.
"Say you and I started dating, for example? Then Lily's song would blow up even harder. The song would sound way more romantic to everyone listening to it."
When she added that some stars actively exploited this very fact, I nodded slowly.
'Not exactly unfamiliar territory.'
Even in Korea, where the public tends to be conservative about celebrities' love lives, this happened from time to time. What Mia was getting at was probably, 'This kind of thing is far more common here than in Korea.' If I was going to work in Hollywood, I'd have to factor this into my career...
"Thanks for letting me know. But I don't think I need to worry about that myself."
"...?"
At my indifferent tone, Mia raised one eyebrow, her face full of bewilderment. I answered the questioning look with a smile.
"Fortunately, my company is full of people who are very, very good at their jobs."
My profession was acting. The thing an actor had to agonize over and pour the most care into was the acting.
Of course, I knew that pure acting talent alone wouldn't make someone a great actor. Only by steadily maintaining the public's interest could you widen the range of projects available to you. That was what Mia meant, presumably.
But figuring out how to sustain people's interest in me? That wasn't my job.
It was the job of the staff at my company—specifically, the staff of Management Team 1, the team I belonged to.
Sure, it would be wonderful if I could handle even that on my own. Then everything would be absolutely perfect. But...
'Why, though?'
Why did I have to become a perfect person who could do everything? People who were excellent at their jobs were already standing right beside me.
"I trust our team. If there's a gap in what I can do, they'll fill it."
"......."
"No matter how brilliant someone is, this is a world where nobody makes it through life alone."
I had only twenty-four hours in a day, and the hours I could devote to acting were finite. If I fussed over everything else one detail at a time, when exactly was I supposed to practice?
'I don't need to exhaust myself trying to handle everything single-handedly.'
When my head got complicated, the answer was to think simply.
'Focus on what's mine to do.'
What an actor had to do was act well. So all I needed to concern myself with was acting—for the sake of not letting down the people I worked with, from Team Leader Woo on down to every member of Team 1.
When I broke into a grin, Mia met my eyes quietly.
"You really are... a strange one."
Was that a compliment?
I stayed silent, trying to decide, and Mia shook her head slowly.
"It's such a weird feeling. I've watched dozens of kids who were half out of their minds trying to make a name for themselves, and then I talk to you, and it's like I've stepped into another world."
That sounded like a compliment, then.
When I gave a plain thank-you, Mia let out a long, deflating breath, laughing.
"You know what's funny? Out of everyone I've met so far, you're the least ambitious—and somehow, my gut says you're the one who's going to get the most famous."
"You flatter me."
"Hearing you talk makes me feel like I can actually act without pressure again, for the first time in a while."
Mia thanked me and rose from her chair. Right on cue, a staff member's voice rang out announcing that preparations for the shoot were complete.
'Once we film this scene, the music video shoot is done.'
Which meant I could go back to Korea this weekend. The thought alone lent me fresh strength. As I took a deep breath and stepped into position, Mia leaned in and whispered quickly.
"Bambi, I have something to say."
"Hm?"
"Like I said earlier, I won't hit on you anymore. I won't make things awkward with stuff like that, either."
"Okay."
"So... will you stay my friend? From now on?"
For some reason, Mia's face was full of nervousness. The way she fidgeted waiting for my answer struck me as odd—but my answer was already decided.
"Of course. I'd be honored."
"Yes!! That's awesome!"
The moment the words left my mouth, Mia beamed. Her delight was even greater than I'd expected, and I couldn't help but chuckle.
'I've made another friend.'
Day by day, my world was growing a little bit wider.
It felt... pretty good, actually.
Cancel. Cancel. Cancel.
'I'd like to retract what I said earlier.'
The part about feeling pretty good? Retracted. Right now, my mood was thoroughly rotten.
"Bambi! Loosen up that face!"
I was standing there with a stony expression when Mia came over carrying two cups and smacked my shoulder.
"Anyone looking at you would think you got dragged here against your will."
"Because I was dragged here against my will."
"...Yeah, I've got nothing to say to that."
Mia gave a sheepish smile. That's right—I had been hauled to this place, against my will, by Mia herself. A party thrown by one of her friends.
'Why am I even here?'
Right after we wrapped the music video shoot, I'd been heading straight back to the hotel when Mia grabbed me. She said her friend was throwing a small party and asked me to come along—and before I could refuse, I was being dragged off.
The destination turned out to be a three-story mansion.
'In what universe is this "small"?'
The pool in the backyard was full of people in swimsuits, and inside, crowds were packed shoulder to shoulder under blaring music. There were even people dressed as waitresses circulating with trays.
"Who are they? Staff who work at this mansion?"
"Pfft, no! They're temps my friend hired for the party today. Is this your first time at one of these?"
Mia smacked my arm, apparently finding me adorable. Would she knock it off already.
"Here, drink this."
"Let me just ask one thing—"
"It's just juice. No alcohol, don't worry."
Apparently Mia had gotten used to me over the past week, because she answered with a grin before I could even finish. I stared at the drink in the red plastic cup for a moment, then took a sip.
'Apple juice, maybe?'
It wasn't bad, actually. But the discomfort lingered all the same.
'Jinbae must be sitting by himself right now.'
Since the party was advertised as teens-only, Jinbae had been turned away at the door and was waiting in the car. Thinking of Jinbae sitting alone out there made Mia just slightly resentful in my eyes.
"Why did you even bring me here?"
"I didn't have a choice! You said you're flying straight back to Korea before the weekend. I wanted to talk with you as much as possible before you left."
"Then we could have just met up, the two of us."
Somewhere far quieter than this. As I frowned against the deafening noise around us, Mia snorted.
"Oh, what, you want rumors going around that we're dating?"
"What?"
"I told you, remember? This is Hollywood. If the two of us got spotted meeting up alone, the paparazzi would have an article out in no time. And you wouldn't want that either, right? That's why we're here."
Mia apologized for dragging me here without asking first. Now, at last, I understood the reason for this place—but even so, it was hardly the ideal venue for a conversation.
'Honestly, it's way too loud in here.'
Decision made: I'd go back to the hotel for today and set up a separate time to meet Mia. I was just organizing my thoughts and about to tell her so—
"Well, well. Aren't you a rude little thing? What are you doing here?"
A sharp voice cut in from behind me.
It was a voice I'd heard before, just once—and one I remembered all too well.