The Loan Shark's Smile
Actors and singers may both belong to the entertainment industry, but they differ from the very root up.
As far as I was concerned, the biggest difference between the two professions came down to one thing: star quality.
That ineffable spark no word like talent or aptitude could ever replace.
Unlike an actor, who faces the camera alone, a singer interacts with the audience from the stage—captivating expressions, gestures beyond the ordinary. To pull those off shamelessly, you need star quality above all else. The moment you feel embarrassed, the audience's immersion shatters right along with you.
Let's think about this rationally.
Objectively speaking, I did not have a personality suited to showing off. Which meant the obvious answer was to refuse the proposal to dance in the talent show.
There's my conclusion.
I had just finished my perfectly reasonable deduction and lifted my head when I felt it. Only one person had spoken to me, yet dozens of eyes were suddenly on me.
"……"
My entire class was staring at me.
I wanted to say, I'm sorry, but I don't think that's going to happen—but faced with all those wide, sparkling eyes, the words wouldn't come out.
"……Isn't there some other option?"
So I chose to take a detour. It would be rude to refuse outright after they'd told me to speak freely, wouldn't it?
Let's refuse as roundaboutly as possible.
I lifted the corner of my mouth into a gentle smile.
"There might be someone who actually wants to do the talent show. I shouldn't be stealing their opportunity."
"Oh, if that's what it is, no worries. Nobody wanted to anyway."
"No. Sangho, think carefully."
I grabbed his shoulder.
"Huh? You know my name?"
"That's not important right now—I mean, Sangho. Let's think about this carefully."
"Uh, okay."
"I don't think I'm suited for it. What about you? Don't you think the same? Right?"
"No, I—"
"Please, Sangho."
The hand on his shoulder tightened. I meant it, desperately. Fortunately, he read my sincerity.
"Th-thinking about it… I guess you're right…."
I smiled at the boy nodding along in a daze.
"See? Your judgment is correct."
There. Now I only had to convince the others.
I had just relaxed when—
"Ah, I told you, didn't I? That we weren't leaving it to Yoon Sangho."
"Right. It's my turn now. Hey, move."
"Ugh."
A girl kicked Sangho unceremoniously out of the way. He flew off like a sheet of paper. Don't go…
"Yeonjae. We don't have time, so I'll get straight to the point."
The girl who'd shoved Sangho knelt down in front of me.
"Dance for us. Just once. I'm begging you."
"……"
"Sorry to ask this when we're not even close. But these things happen in life, don't they? Huh? Isn't that just how life works?"
An aura of untouchable authority radiated off the girl. I understood in an instant.
I can't beat her.
As I hesitated, she smiled softly. It was the smile of a loan shark.
"Close your eyes and just once! Let's dance. The chicken's right there, and you'd give up after coming this far, hm? Let's not become such wicked people."
"Is this because you want chicken? Then I'll buy you some separately."
Money was still a difficult, precious-to-part-with thing for me, but a single round of chicken for my classmates I could manage.
Contrary to my hopes, however, the loan shark shook her head firmly.
"No. I don't want your chicken. I want the chicken the school pays for."
"……"
"I want to milk the school budget fair and square while I have the chance. You understand how I feel, right?"
No, I don't. But I did understand one thing.
I had lost.
Late that night, after the recreation ended, Noh Bihyuk—having heard the whole story—exploded across the phone screen.
Noh Bihyuk cackled, declaring it hilarious. It was not hilarious to me.
The one consolation was that our class had taken first place.
We probably would've won even without my dance.
The class's obsession with chicken was staggering. The girl who'd knelt and begged me had looked half-deranged, and she was no calmer during recreation itself. She cheered so passionately that our class's support score came out overwhelmingly higher than any other class's.
In other words, the chicken had been won not by my dancing, but by my classmates' cheering.
I had no idea they loved eating that much.
My classmates were completely different from the peers I'd come to know through work—people like Han Seyeong, Seong Ijun, and Nam Inhoo. Far more brash, far more playful, somehow lighter. The distance between us collapsed in an instant, past every social boundary, and while that disoriented me, the strange thing was that it didn't feel bad at all.
The moment I finished dancing and returned to my seat, they thumped my shoulder with a good job—and there was real warmth already mixed in.
"Bihyuk, stop laughing."
He added that Euntaek-hyung would lament endlessly if he heard about this too.
"You look way too excited about this."
Noh Bihyuk on the screen looked thoroughly delighted. Fine. As long as you're happy.
I was swallowing a sigh when I sensed someone beside me.
"Yeonjae. Still on the phone?"
It was Seo Jio.
The chicken must be here.
I was just thinking I should wrap up the call when Noh Bihyuk beat me to it.
The sudden sulk in his voice left me dumbfounded.
"Because he's in my class."
Then why did you ask?
I stared at the screen, baffled, and this time Seo Jio cut in.
"Bihyuk, hello. It's been a while."
"Wow~. I was thinking the exact same thing."
Seo Jio smiled lazily. Unlike the easy expression he'd worn all day, this one had a distinctly prickly glint in the eyes.
What exactly is their problem with each other?
They treated each other like natural-born enemies every time they met, which was honestly getting fascinating. The tension of their standoff made me tired just watching, and I hurriedly hung up.
"Is the chicken here?"
"Yeah. They're raising hell telling me to bring you before it gets cold. Something about three minutes, minimum."
"……Let's hurry."
The image of those deranged eyes flashed through my mind, and my feet picked up speed on their own.
When I entered the room, my classmates were sitting in a circle.
"Lee Yeonjae's here! Let's eat!"
"Yeahhh!"
The moment the girl finished speaking, hands darted out and snatched up chicken and pizza.
"Wow, this is so good."
"Somebody pass me a cola!"
"What is this, one paper cup each?"
The teacher had distinctly asked us to eat quietly. The kids carried on as if they'd never heard such a thing in their lives.
"Hey, you're actually a really good dancer."
The girl who'd begged me to dance came over.
"Why aren't you eating? Eat up. We won this thanks to you."
"Thank you."
I bit into the pizza she handed me. Not bad.
"Did you practice the dance separately?"
"Not exactly, but I've watched a lot of dance videos."
As a rule, when fanning over someone, you watch each video a minimum of ten times—I'd learned that long ago. I'd seen the videos on NAID's official channel well over a hundred times, so picking up the choreography was more than enough.
"You learned all that just from watching videos? Impressive."
"Your cheering was more impressive."
"Ah, well, the role I auditioned for this time was the cheering squad captain. I guess all that practice back then was for today."
The girl wiped her nose and grinned, looking genuinely proud of herself.
"What's actor Lee Jeonghyeon like in person?"
"I've been wondering that too!"
I chatted with my classmates for a while after that, and was surprised by how comfortable it felt.
Things were definitely awkward just this morning.
Kids really did become friends fast. I'd read that in books, but experiencing it firsthand made it feel new all over again.
And so the first night ended amid all the noise.
The second morning.
"Yeonjae, want some water?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
"Not tired? You barely slept."
Seo Jio's languid gaze turned toward me.
The acting practice I needed to shed my misfortune factors made no exception for school trips. I'd had to get up at five in the morning again today, but my condition wasn't bad.
"A little tired, but I'm fine. Thanks to you, I got to practice comfortably."
I'd originally planned to practice in the bathroom. But Seo Jio had scouted out an empty room the day before, so I'd been able to practice in peace.
I wondered why he was being so uncharacteristically considerate—until he asked if he could watch me act, and it all made sense.
He's still the same.
Right. There really is no such thing as kindness without a reason.
The second day was all about hands-on activities. From morning we made the rounds nonstop—the literature hall, the gardens, the forest trails—and my feet ached a little by the end.
Still, compared to hanging off wires, this is nothing.
Measured against the action shoots on Killing Horn, the pain was tolerable. My classmates, apparently, disagreed.
"Teacher, I'm seriously dying."
"My feet are about to fall off…"
"Can't we rest for a bit?"
Complaints poured freely out of the kids. What surprised me was how familiar the teacher was with receiving them.
Could I ever say something like that to the director?
The answer was no. As an actor, shoots are grueling, but you get them done regardless.
Of course, I knew it was hard to compare—these kids weren't being paid. Still…
They look comfortable.
Between my classmates and the teachers, I could feel a solid bond. Complaints and nagging that could be brushed off as endearing.
That's remarkable.
So it was okay to grumble like that, then.
Something about it felt strange.
"Aigoo, I'm tired too. Let's rest for thirty minutes."
In the end, the teacher surrendered completely.
I sat on a bench turning over that odd feeling when I saw someone take the seat across from me. It was the boy and girl who'd asked me to dance last night. Except—
"…?"
Why were they holding hands?
Were they dating?
No, that made no sense. She'd shoved her boyfriend like that just yesterday.
It's not just my eyes playing tricks, is it?
I was lost in idle thoughts when Seo Jio suddenly laughed.
"Yeonjae, I can see exactly what you're thinking."
"……Are those two dating?"
"Yeah. Over a year now, probably."
They really are dating?
Just then the girl complained about the heat, and the boy—Sangho, the one who'd been kicked yesterday—immediately handed her his water bottle. The atmosphere between the two was oddly, unmistakably soft.
Fascinating.
I was collecting quite a few wonders on this school trip. I'd played a couple with Han Seyeong in Goodbye, My Summer, but this was my first time watching a real couple my own age. It was exactly like something out of a drama.
How did they get together?
Could I ask?
The moment the trip ended, I was flying straight to LA for the music video shoot. And I'd heard the song for my music video was one Lily Sweety had written thinking of her first love.
My first love is Angae.
But I knew perfectly well that my first love and the first love Lily spoke of were different things entirely. Which made reference material all the more necessary.
"Got something to say? Why are you staring?"
The girl spoke first, sensing my gaze. It felt like prying into her private life, but with the music video in mind, I opened my mouth.
"Are you two dating?"
"Yeah. Can't you tell?"
She raised their joined hands high.
"Jihye, come on…"
"What?"
Only the boy was embarrassed; the girl was utterly unabashed. She's the real man of the relationship.
I committed the two of them to memory as I asked my questions, and fortunately the girl answered kindly. Yesterday's hard-earned dance had paid off.
"What are you two talking about so intensely?"
Since the girl and I were talking so animatedly, the others joined in too. Perhaps it was the effect of sharing food the day before, but the conversation came remarkably easily.
Later, at the bamboo grove, we even took photos together.
I'm glad I came on this trip.
By the time that thought crossed my mind, night had already fallen.
Only one item remained on the schedule.
The courage test.
Get it over with fast, then practice the moment we're back at the lodging.
But Seo Jio had been suspiciously quiet for a while now. Puzzled, I glanced over and found his face drained of color.
Our eyes met.
"……"
"……"
I didn't need to ask.
You're scared, aren't you.