After the Audition
"Which part are you referring to?"
"At the very end, when you suddenly lifted your gaze upward. You'd been looking down at Lady Yi the whole time."
Ah. So I had done that.
I paused for a moment to retrace my own performance, and since nobody rushed me for an answer, I took my time. "It wasn't intentional, but it wasn't a mistake either."
"Hmm, what do you mean?"
"I didn't set out to change my gaze—it's just that while playing Yuhyeon as I understood him, it happened naturally."
"Really? And what kind of Yuhyeon did you have in mind?"
My calm answer drew back a curious look. Strangely, even though the PD and I were the only ones talking, so many eyes clung to my face that I felt like I was alone on a stage in an auditorium, delivering a speech to a crowd.
Feeling a dry, cotton-mouthed sensation, I opened my mouth slowly.
"Yuhyeon tries to act as ordinary as possible in front of Nabi. The burden of being the crown prince weighed heavily on him, so being with Nabi—who didn't know his true identity—was the only time he could feel at ease, and I believed that very premise shaped his falling in love as well. I assumed he deliberately played weak and a little foolish, finding a sense of stability in the act."
The scene I had just performed was a private conversation between Yuhyeon and Lady Yi, who was keeping his identity hidden at the queen's request.
She knew who he was, but since Yuhyeon always used honorific speech in front of Nabi, I had maintained it as usual—only, outside of words, I'd let his authority show through nonverbal cues.
Yet that unwavering bearing, held rigid through the whole scene, had loosened ever so slightly the moment Nabi's name touched his lips. Without realizing it himself, he had lowered his chin and raised his eyes the way he did with Nabi—the proper movements of a commoner looking up at a noble.
I hadn't been aware of that flow at all while acting, but thinking it over, it seemed entirely plausible, so I was able to say it without much thought.
As I finished, the atmosphere in the room seemed to grow quieter still. The only person still smiling, the PD, held my gaze for a moment, then flipped to the next page of his documents.
"Good, I've heard enough. Next—actor number forty-four, please come out."
I gave a small bow and returned to my waiting chair. Looking back, there had been no mistakes, nothing to regret.
At my level, there was simply nothing more to show here anyway.
It's really over now….
A long breath left me naturally. I slowly clenched and unclenched my hand, and a wave of relief washed over me. Ah. It was truly done.
For just under two weeks, my body had been wound tight with tension, and now it slowly came undone. Only then did I register that my palms were clammy with sweat.
The moment I get back to the orphanage, sleep comes first.
The instant I drifted off, the Fog would no doubt come bounding over with an excited face, as if it had been waiting. I could already picture it, bouncing up from where it sat and carrying on without a shred of composure.
In truth, it was the Fog that had tossed me the first clue to slipping into Yuhyeon's skin. Of course, it hadn't been on purpose—pure coincidence. The problem was what came after: it fussed over me like it was my manager, dying to train me and unable to help itself.
'Yeonjae, you struggled with the period-drama speech, remember? I looked it up, and they say this makes it way easier!'
'Your head's tilted a little! Come up slower this time!'
'Mm, no, that expression is way too trashy…. You have to forget the usual you completely, how many times do I have to say it!'
…Apparently it had some grudges stored up against me, because sometimes I couldn't tell whether its tips were advice or insults. In any case, a few of the things it said genuinely helped.
Most useful of all, it would float my performance up into the air before me, replaying it as if caught on camera.
Thanks to that, I could see right away where I lacked conviction, which words needed more weight, and lock those moments in.
'Not that practicing in my dreams wasn't its own kind of hell….'
Jokes aside, I had poured every moment of the past two weeks into losing myself in Yuhyeon. Maybe because of that, the Misfortune Factors drained away on their own while I wasn't even paying attention, and the Fog was beside itself with joy, giddy as a child at being able to drink in my energy freely.
Once even the forty-fifth contestant's performance was done, I filed out into the waiting room. Parents and the handful of managers who'd been waiting patted the kids on the back, telling them they'd worked hard.
I greeted a staff member in the corner, grabbed my bag, and headed out.
I'd taken only a few steps outside the building when my phone buzzed. I pulled it out, and a familiar name lit up the screen.
"Hello?"
―Yeah. Yeonjae, is your audition done?
"Yes, just finished."
"Is that so? Then can you come to the parking lot? I'm on basement level two."
At those words, I stopped in my tracks. When I asked back, unable to make sense of it, a low chuckle came through the phone along with instructions to take the elevator down.
Dazed, I walked back into the building and descended to basement level two—and there, standing right in front of the elevator, was the actor Lee Jeonghyeon.
"Surprised? I didn't expect you to be this shocked. Thought you'd see it coming."
"How could I possibly see this coming? Hyung, aren't you busy?"
"How many times do I have to say it—I'm a free man. Anyway, shall we take the car? Let's try a different tteok café this time. That one's really good too."
The actor, a black hat pulled low over his eyes, held out his hand. Before I knew it, I'd taken it and we were walking to his car.
Clearly well-rested lately, his energy was sky-high, and he chattered at me without pause.
"Timing worked out, right? You never know when you'll finish, so I sweated bullets trying to get it right."
"You could've just texted that you'd be waiting downstairs."
"Pfft, then you'd have spent the whole audition stressing over it. Besides, I had no schedule today anyway… I asked to wait with you in the greenroom too, but somebody shot that down… tsk, I only wanted to cheer you on."
Well, obviously. If you'd come in with me, every eye in the room would've been on us.
I gave no answer to his sulky tone. Only then did Lee Jeonghyeon burst out laughing and clap me on the back.
"So—did you do it without regrets?"
I lifted my head and looked at the gentle eyes peeking out small between his hat and mask. It wasn't a question about the audition results.
So I answered without hesitation. "Yes. I did it without regrets."
As I finished speaking and closed my mouth, something swelled up full between my ribs, and my breath came a little short. An unmistakable pride I couldn't hide, and before I knew it, a laugh slipped out of me.
"Wow, you do it even in front of hyung? I thought that was just for me."
"Haha, Yeonjae acts aloof, but he's actually affectionate, isn't he?"
"Really? I thought it was the opposite. His tone's all gentle, but his eyes are ice cold…"
"Bihyeok. That's enough—eat your rice cakes."
"See that? Hyung, look at his eyes right now!"
I gritted my teeth, wanting nothing more than to stuff my hand over the mouth of Noh Bihyeok, who was pointing a finger straight at me.
"Haha! You two really do get along well."
It was the first time I'd ever seen Lee Jeonghyeon laugh with his teeth showing like that. I listened all the way through Noh Bihyeok's comical account of how I behaved at school, but since it showed no sign of stopping, I resorted to filling his mouth to the brim with rice cake.
"Finish chewing, then talk."
"Mmph."
"Chew slowly."
I stared holes into Noh Bihyeok as he nodded with cheeks stuffed round. The moment he swallowed, I'd have to feed him more.
Eventually, Noh Bihyeok called a truce, flashing his palms and throwing both hands up—but I knew better than to trust it. Lee Jeonghyeon, who'd been watching our bickering with a smile, quietly ordered more tteok cake.
"Yeonjae, eat a little more. You had a long day."
"I am, thank you. Have some too, hyung."
The way Noh Bihyeok had materialized at this gathering in the first place was thanks to a phone call that came in while we were in Lee Jeonghyeon's car. Only when the saved name flashed on the screen did I remember the text telling me to call once my audition ended.
I asked permission and picked up, and apparently his cheeky voice had carried all the way over. Lee Jeonghyeon said I could bring a friend along if I liked; I declined politely, but Noh Bihyeok, who'd overheard, raised a fuss about wanting to come.
Between his whining through the phone, I sighed, nodded—and the result was this.
"Hyung. Do you know he watches your drama on his phone every time he gets a break?"
"Whoa, seriously?"
I pressed a hand to my forehead, watching Noh Bihyeok, who'd polished off the rice cakes and immediately started running his mouth again. Seeing him go on with his hyung this, hyung that after barely knowing the man drew a hollow laugh out of me, but the kid was endlessly sociable, so I let it slide. Honestly, it would've been weirder if he were the one acting awkward.
"It's true. This isn't the first or second time I've fallen for it, you know. And he does it so breezily, all innocent-faced—"
"Noh Bihyeok. Stop talking about me. And hyung, please stop encouraging him."
"Haha. What for? It's fun."
"See, hyung finds it fun too. And Lee Yeonjae~ I told you not to call me by my full name, didn't I."
He was smiling like it didn't bother him, but I could feel the genuine irritation in the corners of his pinched eyes. What a sensitive creature when it came to forms of address. Most days he seemed to be missing a screw or two, yet in moments like this he sharpened to a point in an instant—it was almost fascinating.
When Noh Bihyeok grumbled that if not about me, what was I supposed to talk about, I turned my head toward Lee Jeonghyeon, who was still smiling easily.
And I dropped it flat out. "Hyung. This kid's dream is to be an idol."
"…?"
"Really? Huh. That tracks, actually."
Lee Jeonghyeon nodded like it was no surprise at all—as if he really had expected it. The person in question, meanwhile, looked utterly floored.
"What—out of nowhere?"
Bewilderment bled into his suddenly sharp voice. Even under his pleading, explain-yourself stare, I looked coolly at nothing but Lee Jeonghyeon.
"That's why I'm saying—once he debuts, please slap some sense into him every time you see him. Otherwise he's bound to put his foot in his mouth."
"Haha! Why? Bihyeok's plenty good with words even now."
Lee Jeonghyeon laughed, delighted, and played along. Then, seamlessly, he began offering advice dressed up as explanation—drawing on everything he knew about the idol industry.
Noh Bihyeok, dazed at first, soon hung on his every word. Questions flew back and forth, and I nodded along now and then, quietly working my way through the plate in front of me.
Only after I'd finished off all seven plates Lee Jeonghyeon had ordered—every one of them mine—did I get up from my seat.
Even though he offered to drive him home, and Noh Bihyeok insisted his house was right around the corner, I sent him off first, then climbed into Lee Jeonghyeon's car.
Whether it was from eating until my eyelids sagged, or because the audition was finally over, a yawn crept up on me in the flood of tiredness and I clamped my mouth shut just in time.
Come to think of it, he hasn't asked about the audition at all.
Wasn't that the whole reason he came? Neither Lee Jeonghyeon nor even Noh Bihyeok had said anything beyond you worked hard. I'd just sunk into the thought when the car glided to a gentle stop in front of the orphanage.
"Yeonjae, you really worked hard today. Since the paperwork went in on our side, you won't be hearing from them directly. I've already mentioned it, so if a call does come, I'll let you know. Don't go getting strange ideas if the phone stays silent, all right?"
Lee Jeonghyeon's voice had gone soft as syrup. Honestly, it was the tone you'd use with a small child. For a moment, I regretted all that bickering with Noh Bihyeok earlier.
I told him I understood, then met the gaze of the two eyes fixed on me.
"Hyung. Thank you. Really."
"Hm?"
"For waiting until my audition was over today. Of course, I'm grateful for the rice cakes too. They were delicious. Once I start earning money, I'll buy them for you properly."
"Haha! Sure. Then how about I keep buying until then? I'll collect big someday."
I watched the gentle creases at the corners of his eyes for a moment, then brought up the next thing with a little more care.
"And thank you for talking with Bihyeok earlier, too."
Bihyeok wasn't so oblivious that he didn't know what he was doing—he must have had a reason for butting in like that. This was a guy who never took a loss, so he'd have turned the gears in his head the whole way over.
Granted, Lee Jeonghyeon was an actor, not a singer—but he was that Lee Jeonghyeon. To a kid dreaming of the entertainment world, knowing him was a connection that could only help.
Since I'd come this far, I figured I might as well lay the floorboards for him—so I'd brought it up. Setting aside the fine details, the bottom line was that it made it look like I was using Lee Jeonghyeon for another purpose, and that part I didn't want to wave off. I wanted to apologize properly.
When I finished, Lee Jeonghyeon's expression turned oddly unreadable.
"Yeonjae. Weren't you two supposed to be friends?"