The Sneak Peek I Shouldn't Watch
"Bihyuk, come on, eat some more."
"I've eaten a lot."
A lot, my foot.
"Three pieces doesn't count as eating a lot."
"……"
I couldn't keep my face straight at the sheer absurdity of it.
When I stared him down, Noh Bihyuk averted his eyes.
It was Choi Injun of SPACE who broke the silence.
"Bambi, you have to understand. Before debut, agencies come down on you hard about your weight."
"Where is he even supposed to lose weight from?"
I shot back immediately, but Bihyuk and Injun both shook their heads in unison.
Watching the two of them nod wearily about how brutal survival as an idol really was, they honestly looked exhausted.
"Then you eat some, hyung."
"Can't. I've got a comeback coming up soon."
Then why on earth did we meet at a restaurant?
It made no sense to me, but you can't scold someone who's smiling just because he's happy to see you, so I held it in.
Choi Injun, whom I hadn't seen in ages, had spent the first hour of our reunion gushing about the live broadcast I'd done last week.
Alone, I might have been able to redirect him, but with Bihyuk there I did try to cut in—and instead…
Seonbae-nim. You saw me sing 'Weather' at the end of that broadcast, right? If it weren't for me, he wouldn't even have had a song to sing. And apparently that karaoke trip was the first one he'd ever been on with someone else.
Oh my god, really? Thank you.
And then this guy piled on.
Setting aside Bihyuk, who was wearing the smug expression of a man who had just founded a nation, Injun was equally ridiculous.
Heaping me with every note of gratitude fit for a founding father of the country, the two of them talked about nothing but me for a good long while.
We were supposed to be meeting up to help Bihyuk prep for his debut…
I'd set up this get-together because I'd heard Injun had debuted back when he was in his third year of middle school, and I figured he'd have advice.
And yet somehow it felt like we'd part ways having talked only about me.
Even when I asked him for debut tips to change the subject, I'd blink and somehow we'd be back on the topic of me again.
"I bawled my eyes out when Kim Hoyun cried at the end, you know."
"Stop. If we start talking about 'Goodbye, My Summer,' we're never leaving this restaurant."
"That's fine, I have plenty of time. Can I guess your favorite scene, seonbae-nim? It's the one where Kim Hoyun cries, right?"
"How did you know?! Isn't he just so pretty when he cries? The camera director framed our Bambi so beautifully—"
Enough about me, please.
The embarrassment was all mine.
Chattering away with shining eyes, the two of them were so in sync it was almost impressive.
It certainly wasn't an unpleasant sight, I'll admit that much.
But this was going too far.
"Our Bambi writes posts on the fan cafe now. When did he grow up enough to be writing posts?"
"…Haaah. Hyung, I turn sixteen soon."
The aegyeol was so far beyond anything I could have imagined that my head was starting to spin.
I wasn't desperate enough to beg for help from Bihyuk, who was snickering beside me.
Determined to change the topic at last, I turned to Bihyuk.
"Anything rough lately? Not clashing with your members?"
"Nope. All the hyungs are really nice. Since I'm the maknae, they all look out for me."
What a relief.
Bihyuk was set to debut early next year in a five-member boy group.
Based on the projected debut date, he'd be sixteen—the youngest of them.
The leader hyung was a twenty-year-old adult, one member was nineteen, and I'd heard the other two were eighteen.
What if they ostracize him or something?
With a four-year gap between him and the leader, how could I not worry?
Choi Injun, who had been quietly watching Bihyuk and me talk, chimed in.
"You two must be really close. I'll get to see your face more often once Bihyuk debuts."
"Will we, though?"
Once he debuted, I figured we'd see each other even less than we did now.
Whenever that thought surfaced, it still left nothing but a bitter taste.
So I couldn't even wholly wish for my friend's success. So much for me ever being a people person.
"Hey. Lee Yeonjae."
Just then, Bihyuk grinned and jabbed at my cheek.
"Stop worrying and focus on filming. And eat properly."
"I eat more than you do."
"Eat even more. That's the only way you'll catch up to my height."
Anyone overhearing would think he was pushing 180.
How big a difference could there possibly be between us?
Like I'm going to grow taller because of you.
He just kept grinning that insufferably smug smile no matter how much I told him to knock it off, so I finally whacked him on the head.
"Ow!"
Well, that was the point.
When I refused to respond, Bihyuk grumbled that his head had gone numb.
"…You two are honestly adorable."
Choi Injun was smiling softly to himself.
Maybe it was the flush on his cheeks, but somehow it was just a little…
Creepy.
Still, I didn't want to scold a Biyeon, so I let it slide.
Bihyuk, apparently having built up some immunity to Injun by now, steered the conversation elsewhere.
"So when does Killing Horn come out?"
"Around February next year?"
"Oh, that's about when I debut. Once I debut I'll be so swamped I won't have time to watch it, so I hope it drops before then. It's on ☓Flix, right?"
What did you just say?
"Bihyuk. Remember it's rated for adults only."
"…Ah, right. Never mind, then. Yeonjae."
Never mind, my ass.
The thing was stuffed to the brim with brutal scenes of people's heads getting blown apart—there was no way I could let him watch it.
When I shook my head with a not-a-chance look on my face, Bihyuk pulled an indignant expression.
"So you're not watching it either?"
"Nope. Obviously."
At my matter-of-fact answer, Bihyuk was struck speechless.
"Wait… seriously? You're really not going to watch it? You're the lead!"
"It's not that I won't watch it, I can't watch it. And you'd better not either."
"Wow, I've never heard of anything like this."
I laughed at the sight of him slumping over, utterly at a loss for words.
And I truly did have no intention of watching it. Not in the real world, anyway.
I'll just watch it with Angae in my dreams.
Like I'd said before—a dream isn't reality, is it?
And watching the final edit might actually show me how my acting comes across on screen.
That way I could refine my craft even further for my next project.
By that logic, there was no reason not to watch it, right?
…Fine, enough.
Trying so hard to justify it just made me sound pathetic.
Nobody knew I was pulling a little sneaky workaround, but it still made me slightly sheepish.
Then Angae appeared, so delighted that even that feeling melted away.
"Really?! Truly? You'll really watch it with me??"
I answered, puzzled, as Angae covered his mouth with an expression of pure disbelief.
"Of course. We always watch things together."
I'd expected him to take it for granted, so the reaction caught me off guard.
"You were so firm with the humans around you about not watching it! I hadn't even dared to imagine it!"
"……"
Angae's guileless words killed my conscience on the spot.
"Heehee! I can't wait for next year! I want to watch the drama already!"
"Angae. Calm down."
Angae was so worked up that he went bounding this way and that.
Watching a boy in Han Haram's body doing somersaults through the air, I felt oddly reassured.
If I'd known he'd be this happy, I would have told him ages ago.
It had been a very long time since I'd seen Angae this animated.
I want… a body too…
Ever since Angae had said that, we'd been acting as if the conversation had never happened.
Acting was second nature to me, and Angae had gotten quite good at it as well.
Not perfect, though—I'd noticed more than once that Angae's eyes would go downcast, or that he'd quietly grow sad.
With any other problem, I wouldn't have hesitated to bring it up first.
But there's nothing I can do to help.
When it came to Angae's troubles, there wasn't a single thing I could offer.
That made me sad, sometimes.
Even so, aside from that, life had been pretty good.
Even in the chaos of debut prep, Bihyuk came over to the house faithfully once a week, and Han Haram was the same.
He still seemed unable to escape his mother's pressure, but judging by his face, he'd made a lot of friends at school in that short stretch of time.
Talking with Seo Jio had gotten even more enjoyable lately, and the occasional phone calls with Haeun were always a comfort.
And just like that, the day arrived for the second half of Killing Horn's shoot.
Today, Horn would witness the death of Kang Seok with his own eyes.
"Why are you two here together?"
As Junghyun hyung and I climbed out of the car, actor Kim Seokjun eyed us with a puzzled frown.
This man didn't even have a shoot today. Why was he here?
Before I could answer, Junghyun hyung moved first.
"Did I not tell you? While I'm filming Killing Horn, Yeonjae's staying at my place."
"You're hardly broke, and you're freeloading off a kid?"
"Hmm, and I suppose you have no freeloading friends of your own?"
"Why, you—!"
Here we go again.
Junghyun hyung sniping away with a smile while Kim Seokjun bellowed and snapped at him—they looked so not-close that they clearly had to be close.
I was doing my best to ignore their by-now all too familiar bickering when someone approached.
"Actor-sshi. Do you have a moment to talk?"
"Of course."
The enormous shadow gave it away before a word was spoken.
I turned to face Jinbae hyung, whose eyes seemed unusually gentle today.
"Are you going to be all right with today's shoot? If it gets to be too much, please promise me you'll take a break midway."
"…? What do you mean?"
His tone was so brimming with concern that, for a moment, I genuinely couldn't remember what today's shoot even was.
I answered in a daze, then belatedly went, ohh.
"I think I'll be fine. I've practiced plenty."
Until Kang Seok drew his very last breath, Horn would hold that exhaustion-riddled body in his arms and fall apart.
It was a demanding performance—I'd have to show my mind unraveling in real time.
Still, it's not like this is my first emotional scene.
I'd managed the final scene of Twins pretty well in its day.
My skills had grown since then, so it should come all the more easily, shouldn't it?
The moment I dismissed it so breezily, Jinbae hyung shook his head at once.
"It isn't your acting I'm worried about."
"Then what?"
"You're very fond of this actor-sshi, aren't you? And the Kang Seok who dies today is played by him."
"…?"
His careful, halting words were kind, but the meaning still wasn't landing.
Seeing my blank expression, Jinbae hyung let out a small sigh and went on.
"Because you'll have to watch a man with his face die. I was worried it might weigh on you…"
Ah. So that's what this is about.
The moment it clicked, I burst out laughing without meaning to.
The laugh came out louder than I intended, and the face in front of me went blank with confusion.
And that just made me laugh harder.
"Hyung, honestly… Do you know that sometimes you're actually terrifying?"
"I—me?"
Because you're too kind to me.
He cherished me in ways that went far beyond any manager's professional duty.
Jinbae hyung's worry was always warm, but this time I thought he'd gone a bridge too far.
"Don't worry, hyung. It's Kang Seok who dies, not Junghyun hyung himself. I'm not so young I'd confuse the two."
"That has nothing to do with your age, actor-sshi."
"Sure, fair point. Anyway, there's no need to worry."
Good grief, he overprotects me so much.
If anything, Jinbae hyung had put me in an even better mood.
Once I shut the topic down, he seemed at a loss for what else to say and quietly settled into the seat beside me.
Then, after a long pause, he asked:
"…If it would help, please feel free to tell me why you find me frightening—"
"PWAHAHA!"
And I lost it completely.
As I buried my face in my hands, wheezing, Junghyun hyung and Kim Seokjun stopped mid-argument and came over.
"What's going on? What's the matter?"
"What could have Yeonjae laughing like that? …And what's with your expression, Jinbae?"
In an instant, the whole area was abuzz.
Kim Seokjun, demanding to know what was so funny, reached over to pat my cheeks, and Junghyun hyung blocked his hand while laughing himself.
Then the two of them started bickering all over again, and the chaos doubled.
Ordinarily I'd have minded the noise, but today it was cheerful, and I liked it.
Today's shoot is going to go well.
Somehow, I had a feeling about it.
And well—much as it always had in my life… things did not go as expected.