The Camera Was Still On
"Feeling a bit calmer now?"
"No…."
Yeah. That's exactly how it looked.
I swallowed a sigh as I watched Singer Choi Injun, who was halfway to death.
"I had no idea you'd be this shocked. I'm sorry."
"It's fine. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just… you're too beautiful…."
And here we go again.
"Thank you. Please stop now."
I didn't trust myself to listen to any more of it, so I shut the praise down right there.
Choi Injun had taken one look at my hair, screamed, and thrown an entire one-man commotion. From silver-haired prince to white deer and who knows what else.
Raw, unfiltered outbursts were torture for me.
I tried to tell myself it was just the Biyeon fans talking, but even after hearing that I was "without a doubt the reincarnation of an angel," I couldn't quite keep my composure.
Haah, this is exhausting.
It wasn't that it made me uncomfortable — it was just hard to hear while sober.
Unlike the two of us, thoroughly drained, Sehyeon reached over and touched my hair with a perfectly fine face.
"You must've bleached the hell out of it to get it this light. Didn't it hurt?"
"It did hurt."
"I went red during our last promotion and it was pure hell. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it."
Sehyeon shuddered.
Apparently even with his years of experience, bleaching never gets easier.
What is Bihyeok going to do, then.
Nothing in this life came easy, it seemed.
It took a full thirty minutes before Choi Injun finally calmed down.
"I seriously thought I was going to die from the shock…."
Me too. So please, stop already.
Fortunately, he didn't say anything more.
From the looks of it, he didn't have the strength to, either.
Watching the two of us breathe like the recently deceased, Sehyeon scratched his eyebrow.
"What am I going to do. I was planning to do a V☓App after you leave, and look at the state of him…."
"A V☓App?"
What was that?
I was puzzled for a moment, then understood once he explained.
Oh, that thing idols do.
I'd looked up a few videos because of Noh Bihyeok, at least.
"Do you normally do them on the spot like that? Without staff?"
"Rookies have to get permission first, but by the time you reach our level, you just turn it on whenever you feel like it. The fans love it, and honestly, we want to see the fans too."
Must be nice. I wanted to see the Biyeon fans too.
My birthday is way too far away.
I'd agreed to hold another fan meeting on my birthday next year.
Which meant I was still a long, long way from seeing my fans' faces again.
"Then I'll get going. Start once Injun-hyung has calmed down."
My envy was one thing, but I couldn't very well wreck someone else's schedule, so I sprang to my feet.
It was Sehyeon who caught me as I gathered my things to leave.
"Yeonjae. Want to just film it with us?"
"…Me?"
Why would I?
"Your SPACE fans might not like it."
They'd come to see Sehyeon and Choi Injun — I figured a stranger popping up out of nowhere would rub them the wrong way.
Sehyeon snorted and shook his head.
"My fans adore you. Last time I was on a broadcast, they kept asking how you and I were getting along."
"Still, they might not want you actually appearing on one with me."
"We do plenty of joint broadcasts with other people anyway. Though, well, it'd be our first time doing one with an actor."
He said I could always decline if I didn't want to. I hesitated for a moment, then nodded.
"I'd like to. If the mood turns bad, I'll slip out partway through."
"Don't worry, it's not that big a deal. I'll post that we're starting in thirty minutes, then. Hey, Choi Injun. Snap out of it and go wash your face!"
Sehyeon smacked Choi Injun on the rear end.
Watching the two of them bicker back and forth, I made a solemn resolution.
I need to bring this up with the company.
Maybe I, too, could reach the Biyeon fans this way someday.
If I got through this broadcast smoothly, I'd have grounds to ask the company for it more confidently.
Do well.
It was a live broadcast, sure, but there was nothing special planned for it, so nothing could go wrong.
If I just sit still, I'll at least come out of it halfway decent, right?
Smiling at the thought that I had to call Team Leader Woo the moment it ended.
It was a meaningless smile — one that had no idea of the chaos about to unfold thirty minutes later.
"Hello, Ounces. This is my studio."
Thirty minutes later, Sehyeon switched on the broadcast.
So the SPACE fans were called Ounces.
Why Ounces, though?
When I asked the person sitting next to me, curious, Choi Injun whispered back.
"Our cheer is 'Space On.' They took the last two letters and that's how we got Ounce."
I see. That's kind of cute.
How do people even come up with names like that?
The curiosity that had flared up on the spot made me fire off one question after another. I was still aware that a broadcast was running right beside us, so I kept my whispering right against Choi Injun's ear — which made him go red to the ears.
"Bambi, you're seriously so cute…."
"Thank you."
Lines like that, I could brush off lightly by now.
And so, while the two of us went on whispering, the moment arrived before I knew it.
"Someone's asking who's next to me? Yes — for the Ounces today, I've brought a very special guest."
Now.
The instant Sehyeon gave me the signal, I made my entrance right on cue.
"Hello. I'm Lee Yeonjae."
The greeting felt too short, so I hesitated a beat, then added the rest.
"Nice to meet you, Ounces…."
Was that how you address them?
It came out slightly awkward, and I could feel the words trailing off.
Great.
I must have looked hopelessly clumsy.
While I was kicking myself inside and staring straight ahead, I noticed the chat window visible just below the phone had frozen solid.
And a few seconds later, the chat exploded.
The chat was scrolling so fast I couldn't read a word of it.
Unlike me, staring blankly, Sehyeon and Choi Injun traded lines with practiced ease.
"I had pizza with Yeonjae today."
"What?! Why wasn't I invited?"
"You had a schedule."
"You still should've told me! You had pizza, just the two of you, and left me out?"
The two of them kept yakking away beside me, and there was absolutely no way for me to cut into the conversation.
I wanted to read the chat in case the SPACE fans were feeling left out, but…
I'd need to actually see something to read it.
When I sat alone in my corner staring at the phone, Sehyeon snickered.
"Yeonjae. What are you doing?"
"Ah, the chat is moving way too fast."
"Our Ounces type fast."
I see. Then why are you the one looking so smug about it?
Bewildered but choosing to ignore it, I went back to reading the chat.
And then a message leapt out at me.
"…!"
A fan of mine. My face shot forward before I could stop it.
"Hello, Biyeon. It's been a while."
The message vanished into the flood within seconds, but the smile stayed on my face.
Before I knew it, I was grinning like an idiot.
"Wow, it's so good to see you. Really… I missed you."
I truly had missed them.
It feels different from reading posts on the fan cafe.
Something about it made my heart itch in a whole new way.
That novelty kept drawing the laughter out of me.
I was scanning carefully in case the word "Biyeon" appeared again, when a sudden stillness settled beside me.
"…Why are you looking at me like that?"
"No, it's just… you're really gentle with your fans."
He said it like it was some remarkable discovery, so I answered, puzzled.
"You two are gentle with yours too."
"Yeah. We are, but… I don't know. Why does this feel so weird."
"…?"
Sehyeon scratched his forearm, muttering that something was off with him for some reason. What was his deal?
Meanwhile, Choi Injun was smirking away next to us.
"Our Bambi…."
Seriously, what was wrong with these people?
Neither of them is in his right mind, that much is clear.
I resolutely tuned them out and turned my eyes back to the phone.
In that brief span, my fans had come swarming in.
"I'm sorry. I'll post a lot more from now on."
"Okayyy. I'll film lots of videos, then."
The response was far more passionate than I'd expected.
The second this ends, I really do need to contact Team Leader Woo.
It seemed like a good idea to be able to do a live broadcast like this myself, too.
But for now, this broadcast was a space for the SPACE fans, so it was time to start wrapping up.
"I'll talk to my company and come see you again as soon as I can. For now, let's meet up tonight on the fan cafe, just us."
Thankfully, the Biyeon fans caught my meaning right away.
As the chat frequency plummeted in an instant, I swallowed a laugh.
Whose fans are they again?
They were genuinely clever and lovable.
I was barely holding my laughter in when one particular message caught my eye.
"Ah, my clothes… you're right. It's all black, isn't it."
I hadn't planned it, but the wig, the hat, the tee, and the pants were all black.
"I guess I just grabbed whatever was on hand."
I worried for a second that I looked too gloomy, but fortunately, the reactions were anything but bad.
…There's something deeply wrong with these people, too.
It felt like a hundred Choi Injuns had gathered in one place.
My spirit withered on the spot, and I forced a smile.
Thankfully, the rest of the live broadcast went smoothly, and before I knew it, the time had come to bring it to a close.
"I think we should end the broadcast soon. Don't want us to go? We'll see you again tomorrow, so no being sad."
"Ounces! I'll drop Yeonjae off and turn the broadcast back on from the practice room! See you in two hours!"
The two of them were absolutely unhinged, but there was no denying they were seasoned pros.
I committed to memory the way they handled their fans with such effortless familiarity.
Could I ever be like that someday, too?
I was mulling over that distant-feeling future when Sehyeon jabbed me.
"Yeonjae. Say goodbye too."
"Ah, yes. It was lovely to see you all today, Ounces. And thank you for letting me talk with Biyeon, too."
This was the final goodbye, after all — it felt right to stand up and give a proper bow from the waist.
And in doing so, I smacked straight into the phone Sehyeon was holding.
Thankfully, I caught it right away — the problem was that Choi Injun came charging over to help me.
Choi Injun's outstretched hand reaching toward me seemed to move in slow motion, and then…
"Ugh."
Direct hit.
When I came to, I was sprawled face-down on the floor.
No, what the—
Was that a boulder?
The point of impact throbbed like I'd slammed my head into a rock.
Of all things, I'd gone and hit my head, so there was no fixing the situation — I just lay there, face-down.
"Bambi! I'm sorry! What do I do. I'm so, so sorry. Let me see. Are you okay?"
"…Hyung, your voice is ringing in my head."
So I really had hit it hard.
By the time I gathered myself, my eyes were brimming with tears.
As I wiped away the tears that had spilled down my cheeks, Choi Injun wrapped his hands around my head, his face white as a sheet.
"What do I do. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Bambi. I'll die in your place…!"
What on earth was he saying?
I shot Sehyeon a look that said do something about this man and yanked the wig off roughly.
Something had felt like it was trickling, which was why I'd torn it off in a panic — and thank God, it was sweat, not blood.
I need to switch up the character I practice at dawn.
Looked like I was building a tolerance to this, too, at last.
I'd been sticking to the same old characters in practice, so today's share of misfortune apparently hadn't been properly burned off.
I clicked my tongue and swept my sweat-damp white hair back — and that was when Sehyeon spoke up, hesitantly.
"Um, Yeonjae?"
"Yes?"
The dull ache was still there, so I answered with a frown creasing my brow before I could help it.
Sehyeon smiled awkwardly as he faced me.
"Sorry, but… the camera… is still on."
"…."
I turned my head.
And stared, eyes closed, at the camera pointed precisely in my direction.
I'm done for.