The First Reading of Killing Horn
"Say hello to each other. This is Seong Ijun. And this is Seo Jio."
"Hello, nice to meet you…!"
"Hi there. This guy, he's the same age as Yeonjae, so feel free to talk comfortably with him."
Seo Jio answered with a lazy smile.
"Mmhm. I heard about you from Yeonjae—you're an aspiring actor, right?"
"Yes, sir. We got close since we're in the same class. Actually, this is the first time Yeonjae's ever introduced me to someone."
"…! R-really?"
At the remark Seo Jio had deliberately slipped in, color bloomed across Seong Ijun's face.
I watched his mouth, which had been pulled tight a moment ago, relax so easily it was as if it had never stiffened at all.
The atmosphere's not bad.
Seo Jio was, at his core, remarkably gifted at handling people.
Seong Ijun, who had been on high alert, melted in the blink of an eye.
"I love Director Baek's films too…! I actually met him once, and he was so kind."
"Really? Wow, I'd love to meet him someday."
I spectated their conversation from the sidelines, occasionally chiming in.
An hour later, Seong Ijun had completely come out of his shell.
"Guys, I'm going to step out for a quick phone call…!"
"Sure."
"See you soon."
Seong Ijun rose from his seat wearing the happiest expression in the world.
If he were a game character, there'd probably be a Friend +1 notification floating over his head right about now.
After confirming he'd vanished from sight, I turned to look at Seo Jio.
"Thanks for coming out today."
"Don't mention it. I should be thanking you for introducing me to a famous actor."
Seo Jio smiled unhurriedly.
"That said, it's surprising. I can roughly guess what kind of occasion this was, but I didn't expect you to introduce me. Wouldn't someone like Noh Bihyuk have been a better fit for a type like him?"
"I already know Bihyuk."
"Aha."
But Bihyuk's schedule and mine never seemed to line up, which made it hard for the two of us to meet on our own.
Even I would barely see Bihyuk's face if it weren't for school.
And if it's this hard now, it'll be even worse once he debuts.
My mouth turned bitter. Maybe that was the green tea.
As I set down my teacup and reached for a glass of water, a low voice came back to me.
"Still, I do find it odd. What exactly are you betting on, introducing me like this?"
"Of course I'm worried. Ijun hyung is the type who needs to watch out for people like you the most."
Seong Ijun was precisely the kind of person ill-intentioned people loved to play with.
And Seo Jio was more than capable of becoming one of them, if he put his mind to it.
"Haha, that's true enough, but you're way too filterless."
Seo Jio, laughing languidly, didn't look like he had any intention of denying it.
But watching him like that, I didn't feel particularly uneasy.
"Still, I trust you'll handle it well on your own."
"Hmm?"
"If you get greedy for no reason, you could end up losing both Ijun hyung and me. And I don't think you're the type to do something that stupid."
"……"
Seo Jio regarded me quietly for a moment, then smiled.
"Yeah. You're right. Don't worry. I won't hurt him."
"He's a good hyung. Be good to him."
After all, working in this industry meant inevitably crossing paths with all kinds of people.
He would meet people far more cunning than Seo Jio, with far nastier dispositions.
Better to expose him little by little, like a vaccination, than leave him defenseless.
It was within my sphere of control anyway, so I could just keep a careful eye on things.
"Don't contact him or meet with him on your own for a while."
"I won't."
Seo Jio answered obediently and fiddled with his teacup.
"So why do you care about that hyung so much, anyway?"
"Just… because."
I cared because he mattered to me. That was all.
I answered as if it were nothing, but the guy didn't back down.
"I know you're far kinder than you let on—kinder than I even gave you credit for—but isn't this a bit much, even for you? He's older than the both of us, you know."
"What does being older have to do with anything? I'm just telling you two to get along as friends."
"Of course it doesn't matter. But usually that kind of worrying is something a parent does, isn't it?"
I swallowed a sigh at his instant comeback.
Why was he so persistent today, of all days?
"So what's the problem, then? What exactly are you trying to get at with all this?"
My irritation got the better of me, and a testy question slipped out before I could stop it.
Seo Jio studied me for a moment, then spoke.
"Yeonjae. I was just curious why you go that far for that hyung. That's all. I didn't have any agenda."
"……Sorry. I was being oversensitive."
"Haha, no, you weren't."
Seo Jio let out a hearty laugh.
It was a bright, ringing sound that didn't quite fit the moment.
"I get it, honestly. Same department as you. Even a careless word from you, and I find myself searching for the intent behind it first."
"……"
"I try not to, but it never goes the way I want. And even when I manage it, all I get out of it is making myself tired… so what can you do."
His voice hovered somewhere ambiguous—was he talking to me, or to himself?
Listening to Seo Jio's murmurs, I thought about it calmly.
Admit it.
Seo Jio was comfortable to be around.
Talking with him left me feeling like something clogged inside had been flushed clean.
It was a comfort entirely different from the kind I felt around Noh Bihyuk.
Because that boy was too good, too gentle, too docile.
Almost too good for me, really.
Maybe it was because that thought kept creeping in, but it was true that whenever I looked at Noh Bihyuk, a certain suffocating feeling grew alongside the comfort.
An unconscious compulsion that he should only ever see the good in me.
Noh Bihyuk has no ulterior motive for talking to you.
That was what you had said.
I wanted so badly to believe it was true.
I truly wanted to believe it. More than anyone, truly.
But what was I supposed to do when I couldn't?
Even in the middle of laughing and chatting with Bihyuk, the moment I lay down in bed at night for my own sake, that anxiety would come swarming in, right on schedule.
How long will you last beside me?
That anxiety crawled up my throat and trembled at the tip of my nose.
At the sudden plunge in my chest, I forced my head into a vigorous shake.
"Yeonjae. What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just feeling a little…"
So it hadn't been the green tea making everything taste bitter after all.
I was staring blankly at the glass of water I'd already drained when Seo Jio quietly refilled it.
"You can curse, you know, when you're pissed off."
"……"
"Bottling it up just gives you a stress disorder. Swearing won't actually change anything, but it's still better than not doing it."
"Oh yeah? And do you curse when you're annoyed?"
"Yep. But only in my own room. Where nobody can hear."
A hollow laugh escaped me at his whisper, like he was sharing a secret.
"Thanks for the tip. You've really inspired me to get a filthier temper."
"Haha!"
Despite my openly snide remark, Seo Jio laughed without a trace of offense, loud and clear.
"Isn't your nickname Bambi?"
What did that have to do with anything, all of a sudden?
When I asked with a look instead of words, he grinned and continued.
"Why do you think deer have antlers? They're for attacking. You've got them hanging there anyway—might as well use them to the fullest."
"……"
I stared at Seo Jio in silence.
His tone was genuinely indifferent… how strange.
"You're kinder than you look."
"I'm glad you think so. Though honestly, watching you, I still think a cat suits you better than a deer."
There he went with the cat thing again.
The moment I turned my head away in disgust, his laughter grew even louder.
"See, that's exactly it—every time you turn your head like that, it proves my point. Even the cat I feed takes off the second the tuna's finished."
"Well, it would probably stay put if you just kept quiet."
"Whoa, right. How did you know?"
When he started preening about how fellow cats could apparently communicate, I finally smacked him on the head.
Once is enough, once is enough.
I shook my head slowly and took a sip of water.
Somewhere along the way, the bitter feeling had vanished, and all that remained was the flat taste of plain water.
"Actor-nim, are you all set?"
"Yes. What about Junghyun hyung?"
"He says he's coming separately because of his schedule. We should head out first."
I climbed into the car obediently, following Jinbae hyung's lead.
The engine purred to life, and the car pulled away.
"Summer's really here, isn't it? The sun's already up at this hour."
"It really is."
Bright sunlight streamed through the heavily tinted windows.
It was one of those crisp blue skies that made you feel cooler just looking at it, but I had no leisure to admire it.
My eyes dropped straight to the script in my hands.
Do this well.
Today was the script reading for Killing Horn.
An OTT original with Xflix's deep pockets behind it, a production crew of seasoned professionals whose careers started at a ten-year minimum, the next project from Lee Junghyun, and a supporting lineup of famous actors stacked one after another.
And it was also the first drama where I would take the lead role.
It's getting to me, isn't it.
I had practiced until I was sick of it.
I was confident I wouldn't make mistakes, so why were my hands trembling like this?
I even tried some deep breathing, but my heart kept hammering away, refusing to settle.
"Hyung, do you happen to have any Cheongsimhwan?"
"…? Oh! Yes, yes. Of course!"
For a moment, Jinbae hyung wore the blank expression of a robot that had failed to parse a command, then hurriedly dug the calming pills out of the console box and handed them over.
"Thank you."
"Actor-nim, are you very nervous?"
"I suppose I am."
Jinbae hyung's eyes, visible in the rearview mirror, wavered.
It made sense. Even when I'd gone into Director Yoon Kang-yeon's film as the sole lead, I hadn't been this wound up.
It feels different from back then.
Back then, the dominant feeling had been a fear of making mistakes.
Not wanting to be a burden on anyone, and therefore the resolve that I had to do well. But now…
"……I really want to do this well."
"You will, Actor-nim."
The answer came flying out so instantly it was as if a formula had been pre-loaded, and I couldn't help but chuckle.
I thanked him and closed my eyes.
I want to do well.
Not for anyone's sake. I just… wanted to do well.
An indescribable tangle of emotion swept over my entire body.
Somehow, without making a spectacle of myself, I arrived at the reading venue.
There are so many people.
Clearly the scale of this production was in a league of its own—the venue alone was on another level.
The room was nearly the size of a sports field, packed wall to wall with people.
And I thought I showed up early…. Should have come even earlier.
Deciding greetings came first, I took my first steps.
But I hadn't managed more than a few when my feet left the ground.
"…!"
I gasped and held my breath in surprise—then the familiar scent hit me, and every knot of tension came undone at once.
Only then did the unfamiliar hands locked around my waist, lifting me clean off the floor, register as familiar.
"Hyung, you really scared me…"
"Haha, sorry. I was just so happy to see you."
Along with the low chuckle, Junghyun hyung set me down—then wrapped me up in a hug from behind instead.
He showed not the slightest intention of letting go, and I couldn't help laughing.
"Look at you, all dressed up today. My Yeonjae."
"Yes. I stopped by the salon on the way."
When I answered point-blank, Junghyun hyung laughed and said that wasn't the answer he meant. Then what other answer was there?
The low laughter spilling right against my ear made it tingle.
"Hyung, would you mind letting me go now?"
It wasn't uncomfortable, exactly, but I had people to greet.
The stares that had started gathering the moment Junghyun hyung hoisted me up were only deepening the more we whispered to each other.
But Junghyun hyung just kept smiling.
"Mm, I'll let go once you've relaxed."
"……"
The instant his words translated in my head, I whipped my head around.
The moment my eyes met Jinbae hyung's, I glared at him.
Hyung awkwardly averted his gaze.
Honestly.
Swallowing a sigh, I patted the hands resting on my stomach.
"Thanks to you, hyung, I've forgotten I was even nervous. You can let go now."
"Aww, and here I was enjoying it."
Junghyun hyung clicked his tongue in mock disappointment and slowly released me.
Only when I turned around did the familiar face come into view. Speaking of the devil, and there he is.
"You look great today too, hyung."
"Aww, my baby~"
For my plainly delivered compliment, I got the usual saccharine flattery in return.
I humored Junghyun hyung as he kneaded my cheeks, and made the rounds greeting the others.
By the time I'd finished with the director, the actors, and the staff, only one person remained.
"……You two didn't feel any nerves at all? How are you both acting like lunatics again today?"
It was actor Kim Seokjun, wearing an expression of utter exasperation.
He had far more of a star presence about him than back in The Butterfly Flower on the Zelkova Tree.
Back then he was a bit more full of mischief.
It had been three years, so my memory wasn't crystal clear, but he definitely hadn't been this stiff at the Zelkova Tree script reading.
The loose, lounging gait of a playboy was gone, replaced by a face grown considerably more serious.
"Alright, the reading will begin shortly. Everyone, please take your seats at the spot with your name on it."
At a staff member's call, the room started moving.
I headed toward my seat too, and Kim Seokjun trailed after me.
"Hey. You remember what I told you last time, right?"
"Sorry?"
"I chose this project because of you."
I had no idea what I was supposed to do with that, but Kim Seokjun flashed a grin.
It was the mischievous face I remembered from before.
"So let's do this well together. Let's have fun with it."
"…? Yes. I look forward to working with you."
I didn't know what he meant, exactly, but I wanted to do well too.
I answered evenly and took my seat.
After everyone exchanged greetings, the first reading began.
In the hushed stillness, I quietly closed my eyes.
"Scene 1-1. The first appearance of 'Hon.'"
And at the staff member's voice that followed, I opened my eyes.