Termites and Tremors
"You pinched my side plenty of times, and *you're* the one crying foul because I hit your forehead?"
"……"
It was a fair point. I had no grounds to argue.
When I obediently shut my mouth, he ruffled his own hair in frustration, then turned to look at me. His eyes were full of exasperation.
"What on earth am I supposed to do with you?"
"……Why are you looking at me like I'm a delinquent?"
"Because you *are* one. You're just quiet about it."
"What on earth goes through that tiny head of yours," he muttered, jabbing a finger at my temple, and I swatted his hand away.
"I asked first, so you answer. Are you really going to keep hanging out with me like this, even if it gets you nothing?"
"Yes! Obviously I am!!"
"……Why do you keep getting angry at me?"
"Oh my god! This is suffocating! Did you already forget I said I was hurt just now?"
And why, exactly, were you hurt?
The moment my face twisted into utter incomprehension, he looked ready to explode.
"Okay. This is going to be cringe, but you can't understand anything unless I spell it out, so here goes."
"Okay."
"I like you. I care about you more than you'd think. Just like your manager and Actor Lee Jeonghyeon do — that's how much I like you."
*So that's what he's saying.*
Jinbae cares about me because he's my manager.
Jeonghyeon-hyung likes me because I act well.
So why did *you* like me? Because we were friends?
Since when was "friend" such a bulletproof word?
I sorted through the tangle in my head, then asked.
"Bihyuk. I have fun when I'm with you. But I'm not exactly a fun person to be around. Other than my fame, there's nothing I can offer you, and honestly, that makes me a little anxious."
"…? Why would that make you anxious?"
Because that means you could leave me at any moment.
But I didn't want to say it that bluntly.
I had my pride too, you know.
When I hesitated, he let out a long, deep sigh.
"You said it yourself, remember? If someone doesn't tell you, you'll never know. Well, same for me — I can't tell what you're thinking unless you say it."
"……"
"Yeah, when I first started hanging around you, I had an ulterior motive. But I told you clearly that's not the case anymore. And yet you keep going on like this, and it hurts. It makes me look like some guy who's only after whatever he can leech off you."
"Then what are you after?"
"ARGH! I'm losing my mind!"
Noh Bihyuk looked about to tear his own hair out, and I hurried to stop him.
"Bihyuk. Idol. You're an idol."
"Oh. Right. Thanks."
He hastily loosened his grip. Yes, let's protect that hairline.
"Whew. Calm down, endure it. You're my first real friend, so I suppose I have to put up with this much."
Muttering that, Noh Bihyuk exhaled heavily — and then he shouted.
"I have no ulterior motive for talking to you! Memorize it, word for word, whole. Come on, repeat after me!"
"What?"
"I can't explain it any better than this. You know I'm bad at studying. What more do you want from me?"
I looked at his scrunched-up face and asked, genuinely puzzled.
"What does studying have to do with anything? You're good at everything else."
"……Right. I like how gentle you are like this. There, happy? No — not happy. Because I bet right now you're thinking, *'So if I stop being gentle, you won't like me?'*"
"……"
*This guy is a genuine mind reader.* Embarrassed by how transparent I apparently was today, I could only squirm.
Noh Bihyuk drew in a long breath, and soon he'd calmed down.
"Fine. It's only a matter of time anyway. We're not seeing each other for just a day or two — there's no need for me to be impatient."
"Huh?"
"Just repeat after me. *I have no ulterior motive for talking to you!*"
"*I have no ulterior motive for—*"
"No, the other way around, dummy!"
And so, having been called an idiot by Noh Bihyuk, I chanted the sentence *Noh Bihyuk has no ulterior motive for talking to Lee Yeonjae* twenty times before I was finally set free.
It had been an exhausting day.
And yet, strangely, exhaustion wasn't all I felt.
Today was my first time going to the Action School.
Killing Horn was an SF thriller packed with dynamic action. Like Dogs' Leash — the drama Seong Ijun had starred in — it featured people with superhuman abilities, but far more of its action was grounded and realistic.
Stunt doubles would be involved, of course, but as a lead actor I still had to train in the fundamentals. This was my first time performing truly physical, high-movement acting, and I was fairly buzzing with anticipation.
Riding in the car with Jeonghyeon-hyung only heightened it.
"Yeonjae. Are you still keeping up with your English practice?"
"Yes, sir. It's been surprisingly useful for vocal training, actually."
CEO Jang was so thoroughly convinced of my Hollywood future, and besides, I found learning new things genuinely fun, so I had no complaints. Above all, it had helped enormously with breath work.
English required far more deliberate use of resonance than Korean to produce accurate sounds, which made it excellent foundational practice for chest-voice control.
"Oho. So English is the only private lesson you're taking? Nothing for acting?"
"Well… the CEO did tell me to ask if I ever needed one, but so far I haven't really felt the need."
I had no intention of being arrogant about it. I wasn't some true acting genius, and if a lesson were genuinely necessary, of course I'd take it.
But honestly, most things were available online these days, I was taking classes at school, and… above all, whenever something confused me, I could simply ask Jeonghyeon-hyung.
"For now, I think practicing on my own is best."
"Good. Everyone learns differently, after all."
Jeonghyeon-hyung said this with a soft smile.
"Action, though, is something you can't do alone. Finding the right teacher matters enormously, and the place we're going today is one of the most famous. I've already put in a word for you, so use this chance to build your foundations properly, from the ground up."
"Yes, I will."
"Aigoo, you're so cute I could die."
I had merely answered his question, but Jeonghyeon-hyung pinched my cheek and made a whole commotion about it, and I resignedly endured his hands with practiced ease.
Before I knew it, we had arrived at the Action School.
"Huh? What are *you* doing here?"
Standing in front of the building was someone I never expected to see.
"Guess you didn't hear. I'm in Killing Horn too."
Actor Kim Seokjun answered Jeonghyeon-hyung's question with a glum expression.
He was also the actor who had played Prince Yuhyeon alongside me in The Butterfly Flower on the Zelkova Tree.
The first time I'd seen him since the awards ceremony, in fact.
We hadn't exchanged so much as a single text since then, so it really had been a long time.
"Hello, hyung. It's been a while."
"Hasn't it. Congratulations on the Best Actor award."
"Thank you."
The conversation was flowing along rather dryly when it hit an unexpected fork in the road.
"I'm doing this because of you, you know."
"…I'm sorry?"
"I turned down a lead role in a romance to come here as a supporting actor."
"……"
*So… what am I supposed to say to that?*
Not knowing what reaction was expected of me, I just stood there blankly, and the man snorted with laughter.
"Ha, I didn't expect much anyway. Well — looking forward to working with you again."
"Ah — yes, sir."
I answered in a daze, and Kim Seokjun headed inside first.
"You two get along well."
"Do we?"
After replying to Jeonghyeon-hyung's gleeful remark, I followed him in. We greeted the instructor, changed into the training clothes we'd prepared, and I was told that since it was my first day — and since I was still growing — they wouldn't push me with anything too intense.
They suggested starting light with a fitness assessment and basic conditioning, so I got into position.
About an hour passed like that.
*……This is brutal.*
Even though I hadn't underestimated it in the slightest, it was far harder than I'd imagined. I steadied my ragged breathing, careful not to let anyone see how winded I was.
*If I'm going to act while doing real action sequences, I need to manage my breathing in advance.*
Truly, acting was a field with no bottom — you could study it forever and never reach the end.
I was wiping off sweat and taking a sip of water when the instructor leaned in and murmured something to Jinbae-hyung with a grave look on his face.
"Actor-nim. Could you come here for a moment?"
When I approached at Jinbae-hyung's cautious summons, the instructor spoke, his face stiff as stone.
"I just asked your manager. I asked if you do any exercise on the side."
"Ah, yes. I work out lightly three or four times a week. Mostly cardio."
"Right, that's what I just heard. But is that *actually* true?"
"…?"
What else would there be?
When I just stared at him blankly, the instructor asked back with complete seriousness.
"You really don't do any other training? Don't lie. You mustn't posture or bluff here."
What on earth there was to posture about in this place, I couldn't fathom. It made no sense to me, but I answered faithfully all the same.
"No, sir. I really don't do any other exercise."
"I see… May I take a quick look at your body?"
I nodded at his polite request, and the instructor proceeded to examine my arms, my thighs, and so on with painstaking thoroughness — then let out a sigh.
Why was he doing that? Was something wrong?
"Is something the matter?"
"I'm irritated."
"……I'm sorry?"
"This is how they steal stunt talent for the acting side, again and again. Ha…"
The instructor heaved a lament.
"You have an instinct for using your body. You already seem to know how to trigger your own muscles. Do you enjoy exercising?"
Did I enjoy exercise?
I hesitated, wondering whether I was even *allowed* to like something other than acting, then finally shook my head.
"I couldn't say…"
"You really were born for this. How about learning stunt work properly while you're at it? If you get formal training, it'll only improve your acting. You'd be able to shoot your own scenes without a double."
His voice was honeyed, coaxing me along the way one might dangle candy in front of a child.
I had no idea what was happening, but my answer was simple.
"Then please discuss it with my company first."
"Huh?"
"I'll do whatever the company decides."
I didn't know exactly how intense "stunt training" was meant to be, but one thing was certain: it involved putting my body on the line. And putting your body on the line meant the possibility of injury.
Granted, I spent hours practicing every day purely to fend off misfortune, so the odds of my getting seriously hurt were slim… but still. My body wasn't entirely my own. Half of it, for better or worse, belonged to the company.
*If my face got scarred, what would happen to filming?*
There was a reason stunt performers existed in the first place. I had no desire to ruin everything by getting greedy — insisting I could do it, or that I wanted to.
When I explained myself calmly, leaving no room for misunderstanding, the instructor clicked his tongue in disappointment.
"That's fair. Tsk. Still a shame, though. Yours is the kind of body that packs on muscle the moment you train it properly."
All the more reason not to, then. My fans kept telling me not to bulk up.
Not that I knew why… but if my fans said no, then no it was.
*Still, it's been a while since I worked my body like this. Feels refreshing.*
Solo fumbling around in a gym and receiving the instructor's one-on-one coaching were two entirely different things — the difference was night and day. I could feel each muscle being stimulated in real time.
But because I managed to follow whatever he threw at me without much difficulty, the instructor's expression grew darker and darker.
"Please, just think about it one more time. I swear I'll teach you with the utmost care and make sure you never get hurt. That settles it, right? Hm?"
"Instructor-nim. Please calm down."
Why was it that everyone around me was so peculiar?
Jinbae-hyung eventually handled the instructor, who clung to me as stubbornly as a coach who'd just let a Taereung-bound prodigy slip through his fingers.
"So, what should we eat?"
"I'm fine with anything."
As a sort of after-party, we decided to have dinner together with Kim Seokjun, Jeonghyeon-hyung, and Jinbae-hyung.
We were standing side by side in front of the Action School, debating the dinner menu, when I felt a vibration in my pocket.
It was a message from Director Yoon. Typos littering every line, I tapped the URL he'd attached.
Up popped a post someone had written anonymously on a community forum. The title read:
I was reading through the full post, calm and composed, when this time it was Jinbae-hyung's phone that rang.
"Hello— Yes? Ah, yes. Yes."
The moment he picked up, Jinbae-hyung's face turned grave, and he turned to look at me.
"……It's the article, isn't it?"
I gazed placidly back at his deeply furrowed brow.
*So the dam finally broke.*