A Genius Actor at Cannes
Countless crowds streamed past beyond the heavily tinted window.
Did someone else arrive today too?
That was my first thought. I was curious, but there wasn't time to ask Jinbae about it.
Before I could steel myself, the door opened and I stepped briskly outside.
My eyes hurt.
The flashes bursting everywhere were something I never got used to, no matter how many times I saw them. But perhaps all that practice had paid off, because the expression I'd prepared earlier was already settled on my face.
With every step I took, every gaze and every lens turned toward me.
It is nerve-wracking.
Honestly, it was overwhelming, but backing out now would have been disrespectful to the people who'd been working hard since the crack of dawn. The reporters called out for me to look their way, so I turned my head diligently and bowed to each of them. Then, buried between Jinbae and the bodyguards who stuck to me like glue, I made it inside the airport.
And then, for a moment, I stopped breathing.
"Bambi!! Have a safe trip!!"
"Everyone, step back!!"
"Fighting, our Yeonjae!!!"
The airport was the widest space I'd ever been in — yet it felt downright cramped, there were so many people.
Wow, this is a proper public nuisance.
The bystanders who had nothing to do with me must have wondered what on earth the commotion was when they'd simply come to travel. The bodyguards firmly pushed back the people surging toward me. Please, everyone, calm down.
"Fans, everyone, snap out of it! You're scaring Bambi!"
At the shout of some woman, I gave an awkward smile.
I'm not scared.
Nothing was going to seriously hurt me today — I'd practiced enough for that. I was just worried someone else might get hurt.
And no sooner had that thought crossed my mind than someone right in front of me stumbled and nearly fell.
My body moved before my brain did. The instant I barely caught the falling person, Jinbae beside me swiftly helped them back to their feet.
"Oh, thank you!"
"Not at all. Please be careful."
Truthfully, I'd only managed to grab an arm, and the one who'd actually done the saving was Jinbae. But it was too chaotic for a lengthy explanation, so I simply smiled and moved on.
Swept along toward Jinbae, who held me firmly against his chest, I still kept nodding at the fans and reporters as best I could. Thankfully, partway through, a barricade must have been set up, because at some point the crowd suddenly fell away. Greeting people became much easier after that.
From check-in to the lounge, I kept waving whenever there was a gap. Once we were inside the lounge, the breath I'd been holding finally escaped.
"Whew."
"Great work, Actor-nim. Are your hands sore?"
"A little numb. Are there always this many people?"
"I've followed you on a few overseas schedules before, but today's the biggest crowd I've seen. With the Cannes Film Festival coming up, the attention seems to be even more intense than usual."
So that was it. I'd assumed it was nothing much, and yet my energy had been drained steadily since morning. I changed clothes in the restroom, rested for a while, then headed out to board the plane.
But something felt a little off.
"Hyung, is it possible that…"
"Yes. That's right. Hold my hand tight."
I'd been about to ask whether those people were really following me, but before I could finish the question, Jinbae had already grabbed hold of me firmly.
This is an area only people on the same flight can enter, though?
Surely no one had bought those outrageously expensive plane tickets just to see me. That would be far too self-conscious of me to assume. Still, the gazes were undeniably intense.
I kept up my expression management the whole way, and only after we were inside the plane and the private curtain was drawn could I finally relax.
"You don't have to worry anymore, Actor-nim. All the seats around us are our staff. Rest comfortably without a care."
"Thank you."
It was my first time on a plane, but I was certain the seat I was sitting in wasn't economy.
I should thank CEO Jang once I land.
I didn't know the exact market rates, but I knew a seat like this had to be quite expensive.
Perhaps because I'd been so drained that morning, I slept soundly the whole flight with nothing happening. And thanks to rolling around in bed with An-gae the entire time, I woke up feeling refreshed.
It's not Korea anyway — there won't be anyone I know in France.
There was nothing left to be nervous about.
And fourteen hours later, I realized how stupid I'd been.
"Yeonjae! Your big sister is here!!"
"This is a letter for you. Please take it, I'm begging you."
("My Bambi, I love you!!")
"How does it feel to arrive in France?"
The moment we touched down at Nice Côte d'Azur Airport, people came swarming in droves. Jinbae and the styling team huddled tightly around me.
Wow. This is insane.
Even so, the crowd was so dense it was hard to take a single step. The sheer mass of people was flustering enough, but what truly bewildered me was that most of them weren't reporters — they appeared to be my fans.
Seeing them hand me this and that with faces full of emotion, as if they'd just glimpsed a celebrity, left my head spinning.
By the time I got into the car, my hands were full of letters and assorted envelopes.
"…Were there always this many Koreans in France?"
When I asked in a dazed voice, Jinbae let out a weary laugh.
"Looks like your popularity works in France too. We'll head straight to the hotel for now. Fasten your seatbelt."
As if someone had grabbed and shaken it, the back of Jinbae's head had gone spiky all over. I hurriedly reached out and patted it down.
Great. Now Jinbae and the staff were the only ones suffering because of me.
The day after I slept like the dead at the hotel, I ran into Director Yoon in the lobby. Dressed in a suit that fit him just right, he didn't look bad at all.
"Hello, Director-nim."
"Mm. It's been a while."
Perhaps because there were plenty of people watching, Director Yoon wore a grave expression. It was a little funny to me, so accustomed was I to his childlike face — but even accounting for that, it was genuinely convincing.
"Director-nim. Do you really have no interest in acting?"
"…This is merely a director's passion for understanding his actors."
You only pull that act when people are watching, though.
It seemed to radiate I'm managing my image right now from every pore, yet I noted how naturally the persona fit him. I'd have to manage my image like that from now on, too.
"So. Are you ready?"
"Yes. Is it just the two of us going?"
"Yup. Two Asians — under normal circumstances, the perfect setup to be ignored. But you're lucky. You're going with me."
At the way he squared his shoulders, I gave a hollow laugh.
"Yes. I never dreamed I'd get to walk the red carpet alongside the winner of the Palme d'Or."
"Exactly, exactly! Come on, let's get this over with and go eat. I'm exhausted."
It was such a childish whine that I could hardly believe it had come out of that stern face. And what made it funnier was how he'd dropped his voice to a whisper, worried someone might overhear.
"You were here the year before last, weren't you, Director-nim? Any tips you could share?"
"It's less than you'd think. Our film screens a week from now anyway. Today we just take photos and come back to the hotel."
I thought it was a remarkably half-hearted bit of advice. It turned out to be true.
It really is nothing special.
Apart from the chaos of the crowds, there wasn't actually much of an oppressive weight to it. To begin with, it wasn't as if everyone was there to take notice of me. I could feel that the gazes and the lenses were focused on Director Yoon, not on me. Only a few reporters who looked Korean snapped photos of me.
So we took our pictures without a hitch, attended the opening ceremony, and returned to the hotel.
"I expected something really special… and it was just over in a blur."
I, for one, was all the more satisfied by that — but apparently Jinbae was not.
At the slightly deflated note in his voice, I snorted a laugh.
"Director Yoon says a week from now is our day. Let's choose to believe him."
"Is there anything you'd like to do during the week? Maybe go out and see the sights?"
"I already picked out a few films to watch. We'll do some viewing, some sightseeing… I figure we can just do a bit of whatever I feel like."
"Then I'll stay up all night tonight and draft the perfect itinerary—"
"We'll plan tomorrow when tomorrow comes. Go to sleep."
I hurriedly stopped him before he could fire up his laptop. Lying down side by side with Jinbae like that, I felt my heart settle.
I want to go home already.
That goddamn Cannes, Cannes, Cannes. Over the past six months I'd heard about it so much that I'd apparently cared about it far more than I'd realized. Now that I'd finally come face to face with it, it was truly nothing special.
Nothing exhausting had happened. And that was what made it so wonderful.
Not that Team Leader Woo will be pleased about it.
The company people clearly had expectations that my standing would rise at this festival — but having come here myself, I understood something with total clarity: I was really nothing at all. All day today, no one showed any interest in me. No one asked me a single question.
Feels like I studied English for nothing.
Well, I'd find a use for it someday, surely.
A growing hope took root in me that I'd sail smoothly back to Korea just like this.
And so, it wasn't long before I once again realized how stupid I'd been.
"Do you know you're being floated as a candidate for Best Actor?"
Midway through breakfast, I went dead serious at Director Yoon's teasing remark.
"Don't say pointless things and just eat your meal."
"I'm not being pointless."
His eyes sparkled with mischief. What on earth.
At my dismissive snort, Director Yoon furrowed his brow as if he'd been wronged.
"Hey, I'm serious. Why would I lie about something like this?"
"If that's not a lie, then where on earth did you hear it, Director-nim?"
"I keep feeling like you forget this, so let me remind you — I'm the guy who won the Palme d'Or two years ago. The first Korean ever to do it, no less?"
The way he fumed, insisting there was no one alive who disrespected him the way I did, was so childish it was almost endearing. I wouldn't have gotten to see that expression if we'd been in the lounge instead of a hotel room, that's for sure.
"And I've built up quite the network, you know. One of the judges on this year's panel is a friend of a friend of a friend of mine. I heard it from him."
That's practically a total stranger, isn't it?
His credibility dropped another notch. When I ignored him and started buttering my bread, Director Yoon huffed indignantly.
"Ugh, I'm telling you it's real! You watched the final cut yourself, didn't you? Honestly, after seeing that performance, withholding the award from you would be the stranger choice."
"Thank you very much. Would you like me to spread some jam for you?"
"Aigo, why do I even bother talking to you."
Director Yoon pouted his lips like a sulky little kid. Knowing that this very face was about to turn devout and solemn, I could only find it funny.
Award, schmaward. I just want to go home.
Still, once Twins screened today, I could finally head back. I only had to hold out a little longer. That was what I'd firmly believed…
What is this.
Why was everyone staring at me like that?
Before the Twins screening, there was one more red carpet to walk. I wore a different suit from the one at the opening ceremony and stepped out of the limousine without giving it much thought. And unlike that first day, the gazes and lenses clinging to my face were unmistakably, acutely present.
Bewildering as it was, my expression remained flawlessly managed. We took the photos once more, and then I entered the theater.
Only after I'd tucked my body away between the wide rows of seats could I breathe properly again.
Why the sudden attention?
It was puzzling, but there was no one I could ask. The Director Yoon beside me was already deep in his image management mode.
Just don't let it get to me.
I was the lead of the film screening shortly, so a brief spike of interest made sense. Thought of that way, it wasn't so impossible to understand.
What mattered anyway was the film that was about to begin.
I'd already seen the final cut back in Korea, but this was the first time I'd watch it on a screen this massive.
It's starting.
This was the first-ever screening of my first film, Twins.