Proof of Value
"Want to go to the Jeonju International Film Festival with me? It's opening soon."
A film festival?
When I just quietly stared at Seo Jio, that lazy smile of his came right back.
"You and I have similar taste in films. I'll be your guide. I'll look up places to stay, pick out the movies we should see in advance. Just give me two days of your time."
"Two days?"
"Yeah. In those two days, I'll prove my worth. And if you're still not satisfied with me after that, I'll back off without any regrets. I won't even pretend to know you."
I almost gave a hollow laugh at that face so full of confidence, but settled for a vague nod instead.
What difference would it make, whatever I said here?
"Thank you. For giving me the chance."
"...What are you going to do if you've gotten this close to me and it turns out I'm not as useful as you expected?"
I was genuinely curious. What did he think I had, that he was clinging to me like this?
"I don't have any power to tell anyone to cast you in this role. Even if I ever got that kind of power, I have no intention of using it that way."
"That's something you only find out when the time comes, isn't it? Besides, Noh Bihyeok didn't know either when he first talked to you, did he? That thanks to you, he'd land a commercial gig before he even debuted."
......
He had a point. I just didn't like hearing it.
Why don't I like it?
No idea. It just didn't sit well with me.
I irritably ruffled my bangs.
"Talking with you just annoys me."
"Haha! Does it?"
Why on earth did he like this?
When I glared at him with open contempt, Seo Jio burst out laughing like it was genuinely the funniest thing he'd seen all day.
It was a hearty laugh that didn't suit his languid face at all. I hated looking at it.
"What's so funny."
"You're just so honest. I feel like my value's already being proven."
"What does my being honest have to do with your value?"
"It means that at least around me, you don't have to bother putting on that sweet, handling-a-child voice?"
......
When I frowned, Seo Jio reached out and pressed lightly, twice, at the crease between my brows like he was asking me to let him see.
I hated people touching my face without permission, so I slapped the hand away.
Even that only seemed to amuse him further, and he snickered.
"You really do have quite the temper, huh. I wasn't sure, because you're usually so gentle when you talk."
"I thought I'd been plenty cold to you all this time."
"Compared to now, that was tropical-night levels of warmth. And honestly, I like you better like this—straightforward. Just be comfortable around me from now on. I'm not so fragile that I'd cry or get hurt just because you're not sweet to me."
Seo Jio, smiling as he said that, really was like a solid log.
A log that wouldn't budge an inch no matter how openly you snapped at it.
Fine. He already won this one.
Getting more emotional here would only cost me.
Without another word, I headed back to the classroom, and Seo Jio quietly fell in step beside me.
He kept just barely within a certain distance, like he was walking along the exact line drawn between us.
"Hyung, can I ask you just one thing?"
"Of course."
"Have I ever been rude to you lately? Or said anything that hurt you?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
Jinbae's hands, busy trimming the scallions, stopped.
The gentle eyes that turned to me held clear shock.
"Why would you say that?"
"It's just... I feel like I've gotten really sensitive lately. I was worried I might have slipped up with you, too."
This was something I'd been turning over in my head ever since that conversation with Seo Jio.
It was true that my nerves had been on edge these days.
The me of before wouldn't have snapped at Seo Jio like that.
Whether he treated me like a plaything or not, I would have just given some bland, inoffensive answer and let it go.
It's harder to brush things off like I used to.
If I traced it back precisely, it probably started around the time of Director Jang Junseok.
When I read the script he'd sent, I had definitely been angry. Why had I been angry?
Even if I felt dismissed, the old me should have shrugged and moved past it.
I should have brushed it off like it was nothing. That's not the kind of thing to get so worked up over.
'You really do have quite the temper. I wasn't sure, because you're usually so gentle when you talk.'
Seo Jio's words had thrown me into confusion.
Was I someone with a hair-trigger temper? Had I been acting even in everyday life, without realizing it myself?
'Bambi' was supposed to be a soft, sweet kid. So what was my actual personality?
Then if I acted according to my real personality, wouldn't my fans end up disliking me? And if I wanted to keep that from happening, what was I supposed to do?
'How much longer...'
Did I have to keep acting? How much longer, exactly?
My chest felt tight.
It was like some huge boulder pressing down on my windpipe.
That was when a large hand took me gently by the chin and lifted it.
I met a pair of mild eyes.
"Actor-nim. Look at me. It's all right."
......
"I've never once been hurt by you. You're always gentle with me."
I stared for a moment at the way his eyes folded into smiles, then asked.
"Really? I've really never been sharp with you?"
"No. Really."
Jinbae smiled quietly and sat down beside me.
"It seems like something's weighing on you. Would you like to talk about it?"
"...No."
I looked into those steady, tree-like eyes, then shook my head.
Not with Jinbae.
Even if he might have a helpful answer for me, I didn't want to have this kind of conversation with him.
What if he started looking at me like I was strange?
After a long stretch of silence, I snapped back to myself and hurried to add, "Oh—it's not that I don't trust you or anything. It's not that you seem unreliable, either."
"I know."
A hand came to rest on my shoulder, as if to say don't worry.
It felt like only yesterday that he'd been awkwardly patting the air around my shoulder, afraid of leaving a bruise.
And now, without my noticing, he'd become someone who could calibrate his strength that precisely with ease—someone who rested his hand on my shoulder without a second thought. Someone who'd become that, for me.
A calm voice settled by my ear.
"You said it to Team Leader Woo before, remember. That no one stays the same."
"Yes."
"I'm not the person I was back then, and you're not the person you were back then either. That's just what people are."
That was true.
But turning into something worse—wasn't that the thing to avoid?
My chest still felt heavy.
And then, the moment I heard his next words, I felt my heart drop.
"I think you have changed a lot, Actor-nim."
......
I stopped breathing for a moment.
Jinbae thought so too? Then how was I supposed to go back to the way I was before?
The thought snowballed in an instant, spiraling into something enormous—and what cut through it all, laughably enough, was one light remark.
"Keep changing, day by day. Kinder, and more honest."
"...Honest?"
"Yes. Back then, if I'd asked whether something was bothering you, you would have told me right away. Except it wouldn't have been your real worry—you'd have made something else up to tell me instead. That was your way of being considerate."
I looked quietly at the man beside me.
"But now you honestly say you don't feel like talking, while still looking after how I might feel. And I like that better."
......
"It seems like your kindness is maturing, that's all."
How did this man do it—change my whole mood with just a few words?
'A kind, grown-up person.'
He called me kind, but objectively speaking, Jinbae was a far gentler person than I'd ever be.
"I... want to stay by your side longer, hyung. So what should I do?"
"Just keep doing what you're doing now. I don't know what's troubling you, but I'm genuinely happy with how things are right now."
"You'd be happy no matter what I did, hyung."
"And the fact that you know that so well is the best part."
Honestly. This guy.
Watching the corners of his mouth climb like he truly couldn't be happier, a laugh slipped out of me before I knew it.
And when I chuckled, he chuckled right back, just the same.
The worry was still knotted up tight inside me.
I still had no idea what I was supposed to do. And yet...
'For now, I think it's okay.'
I leaned my head against the shoulder next to me. Solid, like something that wouldn't give way.
Of course I knew. Even someone this solid wouldn't be by my side forever.
Behind trust there's nothing but disappointment. The only way to never be disappointed is never to trust.
And even so, the thought came to me anyway:
Even if Jinbae left me someday, it wouldn't be because of a few careless words from me.
Which meant—there was no need to be anxious and on edge all the time.
As if he understood exactly that, the head tilted crookedly on top of mine felt warmer today than it ever had.
After that day, surprisingly decent days kept coming.
It turned out that Seo Jio, once he'd promised not to push his luck, was less annoying than I'd expected.
He'd given up trying to glue himself to my side all week, and now only approached when I got up from my seat.
And the topics he brought up had changed.
"Yeonjae, did you watch that movie I mentioned yesterday?"
"Yeah. It was good."
"The part that stuck with me most was when the protagonist's expression flipped in an instant at the end. Incredible acting."
"The directing was great too. I never expected them to use shadows to show how the protagonist and the villain were starting to mirror each other."
Talking movies and dramas with Seo Jio was genuinely fun.
Which was saying something, since I wasn't exactly an easy person to talk to.
He was so smooth at steering from one topic to the next that the conversation never stalled.
Everything from films currently in theaters to audition info for indie productions.
Once a conversation started, I'd somehow find myself deep in it before I knew it.
"Hey, you two! Could you focus a little?"
At the class president's shout, my head snapped up.
The whole class was staring at Seo Jio and me.
"Ah, sorry."
"We have to have our class costume locked in by today, remember?"
"Right. We'll focus now."
I apologized with an sheepish face. The class president looked like he had more to say, but just turned back to the monitor instead.
On the screen floated a lineup of outfits: mourning whites, police uniforms, soccer kits, and so on.
"Class president! What about prisoner uniforms?"
"No. The third-years already claimed those. I told you this already—come on, focus, guys... seriously."
The class president muttering with an exhausted face looked thoroughly worn out. I felt guilty, and not without reason.
The truth was I couldn't have cared less about Sports Day, but feeling bad about goofing off with Seo Jio during the planning session, I forced myself to focus on the screen.
"Yeonjae, what do you want to go as?"
"Hmm. What about you, Seojin?"
"Me? A Harborside X dorm uniform!"
It seemed like it'd be way too hot, but her face was so delighted that I just laughed.
Last year I'd missed everything at the start of the semester because of the Twins shoot, so it was honestly startling how many group activities I was expected to take part in.
Sports Day or whatever, I just want to go home.
I'd figured at least a few people felt the same way, but the kids were far more worked up than I'd anticipated.
Baek Seojin, fine—but I never expected this guy to be one of them.
"Lee Yeonjae. What's your class going with for the costume?"
I stared blankly at Noh Bihyeok's flushed face.
"You're actually looking forward to Sports Day, huh."
"Duh! It's fun! Last year was a blast. And finally, I get to do it with you."
"...We're on opposing teams, though?"
"Still, it's the principle of doing it together!"
That beaming grin was so quintessentially Noh Bihyeok that it cracked me up.
"I signed up for pretty much every event. What about you?"
"Dunno. Our class hasn't decided yet."
"I'm doing soccer, so you should too! We never got to play together back in elementary school, remember?"
I didn't even like soccer.
But I couldn't say that to his brightly smiling face, so I just mumbled something noncommittal.
And so, after spending the whole lunch talking Sports Day with Noh Bihyeok as well, I headed back to the classroom.
I'm a little tired.
I composed my expression and opened the classroom door.
And finally, at long last, I found someone wearing the same face I had.
"I'm bringing a Polaroid on Sports Day, so let's take pictures together!"
"I said okay already—how many times are you going to say the same thing..."
Baek Seojin was yapping away beside Seo Jio like an overexcited bunny.
His utterly drained eyes met mine.
......
......
As I looked at him in silence, something flickered to life in those hollow eyes.
A quiet understanding passed between us, carrying a single question: 'You too?'