The Art of Image Management
"You really did it? How?"
He'd asked with such conviction on his face, yet the moment he actually heard my answer, he looked like he couldn't believe a word of it.
I told him he was free to disbelieve it if he wanted.
Director Yoon clutched at his head as if it ached, then muttered under his breath.
"Does your manager know about this?"
"No."
"Then why are you telling me?"
"You asked to be included, remember?"
"Don't give me that crap. Tell me straight."
It is straight.
Come to think of it, he'd been speaking without a filter for a while now. Was that deliberate? Or did it mean he was too rattled to manage even that?
"Yeonjae, I asked everyone I know. And not a single one of them has any idea why Seol Seungjun ended up the way he did. Not one!"
"......"
"Someone's behind you, aren't they? Why on earth did you tell me of all people?"
So it was the latter, apparently.
Abandoning the innocently boyish face he usually wore so well, he grumbled and fidgeted, and I studied him for a moment.
"There is someone behind me. I can't tell you who."
Well, I could tell him. That I'd met a transcendent being in a dream. And then I'd be carted off to a psychiatric ward, of course.
"It doesn't really matter who it is, anyway. What matters is why I told only you, Director."
"And that is?"
Facing his gravely stiffened expression, I gave a soft smile.
"Teach me how to manage my image."
"......What?"
"I want to keep my public image exactly the way it is now, but I don't know how."
The best image manager in my circle wasn't Jung Hyun, the soaring actor, nor Kang Sehyun, the first-tier idol.
It was this man standing right in front of me.
"I've never seen anyone handle their image as well as you do, Director."
"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
"It is for now."
Director Yoon made an even more baffled face at my answer, and somehow he looked like a little kid.
At times like an innocent child, at times like a director of gravity and weight. Director Yoon was someone who swapped the masks painted on his face as easily as breathing, depending on the situation, the place, and the person.
Sometimes he seems more like an actor than the actors do.
I'll say it again: I was still nothing but a greenhorn. Where I needed help, pride and all the rest had to go out the window — I'd beg if I had to.
Just as I sought out Jung Hyun whenever I hit a wall with acting, from now on I'd be seeking out Director Yoon for image management.
"I need a teacher. Someone who can teach me how to respond to any given situation so that I can build and maintain the right image."
Seol Seungjun had been lucky. He'd had a prime piece of prey named Park Ye-hee, so there'd been no need to dirty my own hands directly.
But thinking of the many more times I'd cross paths with people like him, I needed to prepare in advance.
"Right now, I want to know how my fans see 'Lee Yeonjae' — and what I have to do to protect that image."
"Haah.... Honestly, I don't even know what to say to you. Fine. Got it. Let me think it over."
Director Yoon nodded with an expression that said none of this made sense to him.
He was more cooperative than I'd expected. Deciding that was a good thing, I brought up what I'd been saving.
"And, Director, may I ask one more favor?"
"What now?"
"Your network is incredibly wide. You're shocked right now that not one of all those people knows anything about Seol Seungjun."
"That's true, but... why? You want me to widen your connections?"
"No. I'm not interested. From now on, unless someone is absolutely necessary, I plan to keep my distance."
At his expression — then what the hell are you asking for? — I smiled placidly.
"Spread a rumor for me."
"......What kind of rumor?"
"Seol Seungjun isn't the only one of his kind out there. Just let it slip, quietly, to the people in that same circle. Tell them to steer clear of Lee Yeonjae unless they want trouble."
"Ha, this kid.... Are you seriously a middle schooler?"
I only shrugged at the look that said he'd seen every strange creature the world had to offer.
Well, I'd be a high schooler soon enough.
"If they ask why they should steer clear, what do I say?"
"That's up to you, Director. That the kid isn't right in the head, that he seems like a lunatic — something along those lines should do."
Truthfully, what I'd hoped for was Seol Seungjun himself spreading stories about me to the people he'd done drugs with. Nothing would be more effective than branding the phrase 'Lee Yeonjae = crazy bastard' into the minds of people just like him.
But Seol Seungjun got dragged off to his sponsor faster than I'd anticipated, so it hadn't worked out. A shame.
"Well... fine. It's not even a lie. You really do seem like a lunatic. I'll say that."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me, it wasn't a compliment."
Director Yoon squeezed his eyes shut as if his head hurt.
Better not torment him any further.
I figured this was enough for today. After checking the message from Jinbae saying he was waiting downstairs, I rose quietly from my seat.
"Then I'll be going. Thank you for meeting with me today."
"Yeah...."
"And when you have a moment, have this."
When I handed over the thing I'd bought in advance yesterday, round eyes turned back to me.
"What's this?"
"A bribe."
"...?"
He opened the box carefully, an uneasy look on his face.
Anyone watching would think I was handing him a bomb.
"......This is the brownie from that bakery, isn't it."
"Yes. You said you wanted to try it a while ago, remember?"
"How do you know that? Who told you?"
"You said it yourself, during the Twins shoot last year."
"I did??"
Why was his face like that?
His baffled reaction caught me off guard too.
"When did I ever say that?"
"During the dawn shoot at the reservoir. You said your blood sugar was crashing."
His face had been half out of his body from the brutal schedule at the time, sure. But I didn't think I'd misheard.
"Am I too late with this? If it doesn't appeal to you now, you don't have to eat it."
"No, it's not that... You really do have a good memory. I'd forgotten all about it myself...."
That one was a compliment, right?
Taking the hint, I thanked him and stepped out of the studio.
Waiting in line for those brownies hadn't been a waste after all — Director Yoon's face was bright as he saw me off.
A smooth harvest indeed.
March brought the spring of a new school term.
After pinning on the red name tag that marked me as a second-year middle schooler, I walked the route to school for the first time in a while.
"Yeonjae! You've been well?"
"Seojin. Hi."
Baek Seojin came bouncing over in springy hops. The chill wind had reddened her nose slightly, making her look like a rabbit. She should really dress warmer.
"Yeonjae, is it true you're appearing as an extra in Dogs' Leash? I saw the article a few days ago."
"Yeah. I finished filming last week."
"I'm so jealous! I'm a fan of Gwak Woo-hyun. What's he like in person? His personality?"
"Pretty calm, actually. His acting was incredible too."
After Seol Seungjun's one-sided withdrawal, the Dogs' Leash production team had moved swiftly to find a replacement. After several rounds of discussion, the actor cast was Gwak Woo-hyun.
Unlike Seol Seungjun, his calm impression carried through on set as well — he was always serious, and thanks to that, the reshoots wrapped in an hour without a single NG.
Compared to filming with Seol Seungjun, it had been astonishingly simple and painless.
"Why on earth did Seol Seungjun retire, though? I still don't get it. He was at the absolute peak of his career."
"I know, right."
He was certainly a skilled actor. Twenty-six years on a single path — he must have been sincere about acting, in his own way.
But remembering that he'd shown up on set after drinking, it was something bound to blow up sooner or later.
More importantly, it's none of my business anymore.
I'd kept a careful eye on Seol Seungjun and Park Ye-hee's comings and goings for a while, just in case, but I'd judged there was no longer any need to bother. If any rumors about me started circulating in connection with Seol Seungjun, Director Yoon would let me know right away.
From here on out — alcohol, cigarettes, women, drugs, all of it — I'd stay far away from anything that could cause controversy.
If it's something my fans would hate, I have to avoid it, no exceptions.
I'd been thinking about how to become someone worthy of the name Bambi when someone slung an arm around my shoulders. A familiar weight.
This kid always does the shoulder thing from the left.
Some kind of habit, probably. Without giving it much thought, I turned to look at Noh Bihyuk.
"Hey. Yeonjae."
"......"
Not Noh Bihyuk.
What was this kid's name again?
"That's harsh. You should remember at least one — my family name or my given name. Want a hint? I'll do first letters."
Only at the casual, unbroken flow of conversation did the name finally surface in my memory.
"Seo Jio. Now that I remember, no hint needed."
"You can just call me Jio."
January, or was it February? Seo Jio, whom I'd met at the gathering Baek Seojin had dragged me to, was lounging there with that same lazy smile as that day.
"They said you were transferring, so today was the day, huh."
"Yep. Lining it up with the new term is just easier all around."
Today was the first day of the first semester of second year — the opening ceremony.
Seo Jio, wearing the same red name tag as mine, asked:
"Seojin says she's in Class A. What about you?"
"You already know."
"Huh? How'd you know?"
Because it's written all over your face.
His eyes sparkled with mischief, a different flavor from Noh Bihyuk's, and I wondered what he was up to. Seo Jio drawled on.
"Right. Actually, I heard it from Seojin. She says you two are in the same class again this time."
"Yeah."
"Then guess what class I'm in. Go on, guess."
Could a person not just walk to school in a little peace and quiet?
His voice was low enough not to hurt my ears, but the relentless stream of chatter was wearing.
When I just kept walking without a word, Seo Jio laughed like he was enjoying himself.
"That kind of reaction actually hurts, you know. I'm in your class too. Wild, right?"
"Sure is."
Where was Noh Bihyuk?
He always came bounding over around this point. I glanced around, and by lucky chance my eyes met Noh Bihyuk's exactly as he was looking our way. Perfect.
Come quick and peel this one off me.
'...?'
The boy who should have come charging straight over had frozen in place instead.
He stood rooted there, stiffened as if startled by something, so I moved toward him, puzzled.
Well — I tried to move toward him.
Something heavy was resting on my shoulder, and my body refused to obey.
"Seo Jio. Could you take your arm off?"
"Told you, call me Jio."
"Fine, I got it — just take it off for now. It's heavy."
Seo Jio made a show of pretending to cry — how cold — then dumped the arm carelessly onto Baek Seojin and went over to Noh Bihyuk himself.
"Bihyuk."
"Uh?"
"Are you sick somewhere?"
"No, it's just...."
"Then why are you standing over here instead of coming over? Let's go."
"Oh, uh, yeah."
Something really must be wrong with him. His reactions were a beat slower than usual.
Noh Bihyuk stood beside me, half-crouched and awkward, and scratched at his eyebrow.
"Who was that guy with his arm around you just now?"
"Seojin's friend I mentioned before. He transferred here."
"Ah, I see...."
I almost told him that all that noise suited him just fine, but I stopped myself. The last time I'd introduced him to Seong Ijun and Nam In-hoo, an offhand remark had blown up in my face. Better to keep quiet.
And then, when the four of us gathered at lunchtime, I thought:
Thank goodness I didn't say it.
Noh Bihyuk and Seo Jio were, to any observer, failing spectacularly to get along.
"......I never want to eat lunch like this again."
Baek Seojin was the first to speak. The suffocating atmosphere must have given her indigestion along with her food — she looked pale.
"Do you two know each other or something? Why are you both glaring like you're ready to kill each other?"
At Baek Seojin's question, Seo Jio replied with a smile.
"That's what I'd like to know. Did I do something to Bihyuk?"
"Seo Jio, don't play innocent. You were glaring right back."
"Only because Bihyuk glared first."
While Baek Seojin and Seo Jio bickered back and forth like a comedy duo, Noh Bihyuk stayed silent.
What's gotten into him?
I was thinking I'd have to ask him about it later when Baek Seojin let out a sigh.
"Forget it. Starting tomorrow, I'm eating in peace. So which one of you two is dropping out?"
"......"
Baek Seojin was the kind of kid who tossed out difficult questions as if they were nothing.
I lifted my head at the rather interesting question. Except....
"...?"
Why were they both looking at me?