The Infinite Actress (1)
Eun Chae-won, the former child actress.
She had first appeared in a public service advertisement at the age of seven, and Choi Hyung-tak, who recognized her talent, launched her acting career.
The very first work she appeared in was a film.
In a movie depicting an ordinary office worker father’s desperate struggle to find his kidnapped daughter, she played the kidnapped child.
The film itself was conventional, yet Eun Chae-won’s performance—at only eight years old—was so heartrending that it wrung tears and snot from the audience and became a topic of conversation.
In one interview, a reporter asked her how she could act so well, wondering how such a young child could possibly understand and express the incomprehensible terror of being kidnapped.
The child’s answer was remarkable.
“I didn’t really think about anything.”
It wasn’t rude or arrogant; her face was genuinely innocent.
It carried the same calm as when a world-champion figure skater is asked what she thinks before a competition and simply replies, “I just do it.”
After that, Eun Chae-won appeared in numerous works.
She took on many roles across films, dramas, and commercials without being limited by genre.
Surprisingly, every role she played had a completely different texture.
She played a maidservant as the female lead’s child counterpart in a historical drama, the granddaughter of a chaebol family in a modern setting, and the daughter of a stubborn fishmonger who gets bullied at school.
That wasn’t all. She portrayed a middle-schooler going through puberty, a model student who was both class president and top of the school, a high-school girl wandering the afterlife as a ghost, and a twenty-something who dropped out of college due to financial hardship and hopped between part-time jobs.
There were no limits to her acting.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say her life had begun with acting and was entirely defined by it.
Some people even said that Eun Chae-won had spent more time living as the characters she played than as herself.
They weren’t wrong.
In reality, she was famous for working tirelessly without any breaks.
People even wondered whether Kidari Entertainment, her agency, was overworking her.
But the reason Eun Chae-won kept pushing herself so hard wasn’t money or ambition for success.
She simply loved acting.
Every time she studied and immersed herself in a new role, she felt vividly alive.
And when the performance ended, she returned to a clean, blank slate as if nothing had happened, thanks to her thorough ability to separate herself from her characters.
Industry insiders gave her a nickname for this.
The Infinite Actress.
Because on that always pristine white canvas, she could paint anything.
And right now, Jung Seung-il, facing Eun Chae-won, was once again marveling at the infinite actress’s skill.
Jung Seung-il, playing the sub-male lead Gong Geon-ah, was in the final scene where he grows increasingly obsessed with the female lead, Jang Yi-hyun, and ends up pleading and threatening her as she announces their breakup.
Kneeling before Jang Yi-hyun, Gong Geon-ah poured out his desperate love.
“Yi-hyun. I can’t live without you. You know that, right? Huh? I’ll do whatever you say. If you want to meet your friends, go ahead. You said you wanted to travel alone last time, didn’t you? I’ll let you go. I’ll buy you a plane ticket. Go as long and as far as you want. Just don’t say we should break up.”
“……”
“I’m sorry for suffocating you. I like you too much. That’s why I acted that way. I’m sorry.”
“Geon-ah.”
“Yeah, Yi-hyun.”
“That… isn’t love.”
“……”
“You know that too.”
Jang Yi-hyun opened the bag she was carrying and showed it to him.
“I stayed at your place for so long, and this is all I have. You bought and decorated everything according to your taste, so I don’t even have my own clothes or cosmetics.”
“……”
“I thought that was love too. I thought it was because you loved me so much.”
“Yi-hyun. I can’t live without you.”
“Live. You’ll do fine without me. And I need you gone from my side to live as Jang Yi-hyun, not as Gong Geon-ah’s girlfriend.”
“……”
The bold, affectionate girlfriend he had known until now was no longer there.
“Let’s really break up.”
Jang Yi-hyun coldly announced their separation to Gong Geon-ah, who was kneeling and sobbing before her.
Of course, countless waves of emotion must have crashed over her before reaching that decision.
She opened the door to his apartment alone for the first time in three years.
It was a door she had always entered with him or that he had opened for her.
Their relationship had required her to change her own tendencies and personality.
Perhaps she had loved him more than he had loved her.
The sound of the door lock clicking shut echoed.
Only his sobs remained inside Gong Geon-ah’s studio apartment.
“Hmm… Just a moment. Let me check it once more.”
The cut sign had been given, but it wasn’t an okay.
Director Mo Yeon-hee focused on the monitor.
This scene was crucial for showing the female lead Jang Yi-hyun’s emotions and growth.
At the same time, it was a highly emotional scene designed to evoke mixed feelings in the audience—pity and understanding—for Gong Geon-ah, who expressed a dangerous emotion that, while clumsy as a first love, could also become obsession.
Therefore, if the two actors’ chemistry didn’t align, the scene would become ambiguous and ineffective, so she had to concentrate more than ever.
Of course, Jung Seung-il, who had matched countless takes with Eun Chae-won in The World Is Not Equal, wasn’t worried about their chemistry failing.
However, he feared that Eun Chae-won’s cool, detached performance might overpower his own tearful, pleading one, making Gong Geon-ah’s emotions feel less convincing.
In scenes heavy with emotion, it often happened that the stronger actor’s performance swallowed the other’s emotional line and ruined the balance.
If Gong Geon-ah failed to come across as persuasive in this scene, it could negatively affect the entire drama.
To avoid becoming a pathetic, unlikable character, he had to bring out the emotional line properly this time.
“Seung-il, could you come here for a moment?”
“Yes.”
Jung Seung-il walked over to the monitor at the director’s call.
Watching his own performance on the screen, he finally saw what was lacking.
“When Yi-hyun says, ‘That isn’t love, you know that,’ your expression can’t just look like you’re accepting it.”
“But the regret is genuine…”
“Even so, there should be some resistance to what she’s saying. That’s who Gong Geon-ah is. Someone who believes the love he’s given is sincere.”
“That’s right.”
“Only when someone with that kind of self-conviction breaks down will the emotions come alive much more.”
Honestly, Jung Seung-il hadn’t fully immersed himself in Gong Geon-ah.
He had empathized more with the emotions of Jang Yi-hyun as played by Eun Chae-won.
Love wasn’t built on obsession and control.
Because Jung Seung-il himself was a healthy person, he had never felt that way even in his own relationships.
Most of the roles he had played until now were righteous and admirable male leads.
That was why he had wanted to broaden his acting spectrum by taking on the role of Gong Geon-ah this time.
Not a simple villain, but an immature character who was clumsy and obsessive in love.
Hoo. This isn’t easy.
No matter how much character research and practice he did, the moment he stood in front of the camera, his emotional control ran wild.
That was why acting was difficult.
This was a field where innate talent was needed, something effort alone couldn’t achieve.
Moreover, standing before an actress who portrayed emotions so convincingly and persistently made him even more prone to wavering.
“I’ll try it again.”
Jung Seung-il fixed his makeup and stepped back in front of the camera.
Eun Chae-won also straightened her clothes and entered the set.
“I’m sorry, because of me.”
“No, it’s not an easy scene. I expected we’d need several takes.”
“Hoo. This time I’ll really immerse myself.”
Jung Seung-il kept reminding himself of Gong Geon-ah’s situation to erase his own self as much as possible.
Don’t hold back. My emotions are mine. My emotions are Gong Geon-ah’s emotions.
He even hypnotized himself with those words.
“Alright, we’re rolling. Get ready. Cue!”
The scene they had just filmed unfolded once more.
Gong Geon-ah pleading and Jang Yi-hyun drawing a clear line.
It was a desperate, heartbreaking moment marking the end of a four-and-a-half-year relationship.
“I’m sorry for suffocating you. I… like you too much. That’s why I acted that way. I’m sorry.”
“Geon-ah.”
“Yeah, Yi-hyun.”
“That isn’t love.”
“……”
Gong Geon-ah’s expression changed instantly at the thought that his love had been denied.
He couldn’t accept what Yi-hyun was saying so coldly.
“You know that too.”
Yi-hyun’s tone softened, unlike before.
The scolding feeling completely disappeared, replaced by gentle words and an expression that seemed to soothe a wounded heart.
Her face carried a hint of sadness, as if she regretted having to say those words.
Jung Seung-il, while acting, had no time to be surprised and simply sank into the situation, matching Eun Chae-won’s performance.
……
……
“Okay! That was really good just now.”
Even before Director Mo Yeon-hee shouted, Jung Seung-il already knew.
That his performance just now had been Gong Geon-ah himself.
“Seung-il, you’re really amazing. You applied it right away just like I said.”
“Haha. No, it wasn’t because I did well… it was thanks to Chae-won supporting me.”
And he also knew that what he had just done wasn’t his own skill, but because Eun Chae-won had lifted him up.
“Chae-won’s acting changed a bit too, didn’t it?”
“Yes. I was surprised for a moment, but it actually helped me immerse myself more.”
“That’s Chae-won’s ability.”
Indeed.
Everyone who knew anything was aware that Eun Chae-won was the youngest infinite actress with twenty years of acting experience.
I’m not jealous. I can’t even dare to imitate her.
Jung Seung-il watched Eun Chae-won leaving the set.
The ability to paint anything on a blank white canvas was something he felt he could never achieve even after twenty years.
“Hello.”
Just then, Kang Tae-san, having finished preparing for the next scene, approached while greeting the staff.
“Tae-san! It’s been a while.”
“Oh, it’s good to see you. It’s been a while.”
Kang Tae-san and Jung Seung-il rarely had scenes that overlapped, so their filming days seldom coincided either.
Still riding the high of the emotions he had just felt, Jung Seung-il spoke more excitedly than usual.
“Your next scene is with Chae-won, right? Mind if I watch a bit?”
“Of course. Are you done filming for the day?”
“Yeah. I just finished with Chae-won too. Wow, she really is something else.”
“Did something happen?”
“Well…”
He launched into an enthusiastic praise of how good Eun Chae-won’s acting was—not only her own performance, but her quick thinking in adjusting her acting tone on the spot to bring out the other actor’s emotions.
He went on and on about how she was an infinite actress with no shortcomings whatsoever.
How she cleanly erased her own ego while acting and perfectly expressed whatever kind of character she was given.
“Ah… I see.”
“Eun Chae-won is my role model. Of course, I’m someone with clear limits, so I’ll never become like Chae-won. But it’s better to aim high, right?”
However, Kang Tae-san received Jung Seung-il’s praise in a slightly different way.
Of course, he had no disagreement that Eun Chae-won was an excellent actress.
But rather than finding it impressive that she had no ego while acting…
That’s unfortunate.
He felt sorry for her.
Kang Tae-san had also, by chance through the Smile App, experienced the lives of all kinds of people and been overwhelmed by those memories.
In particular, the memories of the stalker Yoo Pil-joo and the psychopath Seo Chae-hyuk had been horrifying.
If he hadn’t been able to organize and store those memories in the Memorial Box, he might have gone half-mad or committed terrible acts and ended up in prison.
Yet Eun Chae-won had played so many roles without any such item.
He worried that perhaps even now her mind was cluttered and her insides were rotting, and she was barely holding on by using acting as an outlet.
Hoo. Really, what you see on the outside isn’t everything.
For some reason, Kang Tae-san felt he could understand a little why Eun Chae-won sometimes acted like a know-it-all toward him.
Maybe she recognized that we’re similar?
After all, she had far more acting experience than him, so her intuition was probably sharper.
While he had only just noticed her condition through acting together, she had seen through him in an instant.
I should be good to her.
Now that he knew, he couldn’t pretend otherwise.
Kang Tae-san recalled what the orphanage nun had once told him.
“Not knowing is one thing, but doing it knowingly is wrong.”
Now that he understood the life of this pitiful actress, it was a case of fellow sufferers empathizing with each other.
Of course, Kang Tae-san’s misunderstanding was completely different in nature from the genius who simply “did it without thinking.”