Chapter 67-3: The Viscount's Household is Full of Good and Bad - Emil -
The eyes of a parasite.
That has been my aunt's consistent attitude toward me since my father passed away, up until now.
I can also make a legitimate claim to the Sinclair family's inheritance as a man, and to her, it just feels unreasonably unfair.
She probably sees my inheritance right as some kind of license to plunder towards Seras.
If there had been no accident with my father, that inheritance right would have been mine from the start, and Seras would have had none. That fact is of no importance to her at all.
She views everything in this world as something that must exist for her and Seras.
There is, of course, a gap between her perception and the world's perception.
She understands that it's unreasonable for me to casually infringe upon my own inheritance right.
What she chose was oppression.
She schemed to make me a fool.
Whenever I wanted to read a book, she would check it one by one, thinking it might help develop my intelligence even a little, and throw it all away.
When I tried to train my physical strength, she would force excessive schedules under the pretext of helping, only to make me sick.
She filled my surroundings with people who are thoroughly loyal to her, disrupting all my social interactions.
If there was even one thing that Seras did better than me, she would openly praise it and encourage it.
If there was even one thing that I did better than Seras, no matter what it was, she would belittle it as nothing.
A helpless fool who can do nothing alone and can't trust himself at all.
That was the future image of me that my aunt desired.
To what extent it succeeded, I couldn't judge objectively.
After all, self-evaluation always involves distortion.
But there is one clear fact that I can know for myself.
I wanted to strangle the necks of my aunt and Seras.
Even my aunt, who despises and tramples on me without committing any wrong.
Even Seras, who does nothing when seeing me like that.
I wanted to thoroughly trample, smother, knock down, and make them kneel at my feet to teach them their place.
Such primal and barbaric desires began to take on sexual tastes as I grew older.
Imagining reproducing the plays learned from the lewd books I smuggled onto myself directly on my aunt and Seras, I would masturbate.
It wasn't just once or twice that I had lewd dreams while dreaming of strangling Seras's neck.
How many times have I imagined slapping my aunt's unnecessarily huge breasts?
It's wrong to have such fantasies against family members.
There was no lack of guilt from conscience, but since they were the ones being fantasized about, it was inevitable.
If I was going to fantasize about revenge against people who treated me so harshly, it was only natural to do so in my imagination.
But I justified it to myself that way.
But at some point, I realized.
The fact that my imagined revenge was focused only on Seras and my aunt.
The fact that my uncle, one of the other sources of my misfortune, was not in my thoughts at all.
Of course, I could justify it by saying that raping my daughter and wife is already a great revenge.
But I realized that my true intention was not that.
I just wasn't interested in my uncle's existence itself.
And at the moment I realized that, I newly realized that the needle of my desire had expanded in all directions beyond my aunt and Seras.
A maid who does nothing but her work without giving me any interest.
A female chef who is just diligently baking bread.
A village woman mayor from some village who came to visit the estate as a representative because she had business to ask the lord.
A half-elf bard invited for Seras's emotional education.
Whenever I faced a woman with even a little outstanding beauty, I would inevitably fantasize about sexually ravaging her.
The fantasies of whipping their bodies, trampling them, and spitting on them spread like a spark on dry ground, reaching a point where I couldn't control myself.
Thus, I began to doubt myself.
Perhaps I was just making excuses?
Perhaps I was blaming my aunt and Seras for my innate ugly desires in order to justify them.
Of course, the resentment towards the two was pure sincerity.
I don't think I deserved it.
But the raging desire inside this, is its source not the resentment but rather my nature?
Thinking this way, I couldn't bear it anymore.
What if I really end up touching them one day? And then make even innocent people suffer?
So, I decided to leave this estate.
If this lowly desire of mine is greatly relieved just by staying away from the estate because of my aunt's abuse, I believed that.
...If not, then there would be no other way for me, so I decided not to think about it.
At that time, a magic priestess happened to come.
These people had just entered the estate, so they wouldn't know the situation of our family well, and if they learned even a simple spell, they might be able to live by polishing their mouths.
I judged that, and immediately contacted the disciple side who seemed relatively easy to deal with.
...To be honest, the fact that they were extremely attractive women also had a big influence on my decision.
But... but what I got from that contact right then was infinite positivity that I, in my previous state, could never have imagined.
※
"How is it going with that magic progress?"
My aunt, whom I happened to meet in the hallway, spoke to me for once.
What she usually sent to me was only one-way insults like grumbling, jeering, sarcasm, contempt, so it took a bit of time to respond to her 'question'.
"...I'm sorry, Aunt. Actually, there's not much progress. It seems my skill is poor compared to my master's excellent one."
"Hah! I thought so. Then it's fine. You really don't deviate from my expectations even a bit. You're really boring."
My aunt smirked as if it was amusing, and started listing Seras's praises, which I had never asked about.
"Compared to that, our Seras is said to be growing her skills at an astonishing speed with the magic mage hired as a tutor. Recently, she can shoot lightning from her hands and knock out an adult, they say. You kind of guy would be helpless in front of Seras, unable to move hand or foot."
"I'm ashamed. It's all as you said, Aunt."
I lowered my head and affirmed all of my aunt's words, waiting for the storm to pass.
My aunt belittling me like this is, so to speak, the way of nature.
It would not be wise to challenge the way of nature.
It's probably true that Seras has much more talent as a magician than me.
"Pathetic fellow. You really lack the bearing of a man. If we give the territory to such a fellow... it would obviously reduce the number of people in our Sinclair family... what kind of people are those claiming my inheritance anyway."
My aunt clicked her tongue in disgust and waved her hand as if shooing away a fly.
"Please work hard. That way, your innate incompetence will be revealed."
"...Understood, Aunt."
I continued lowering my head towards the back of my aunt, who no longer showed interest in me and abruptly left.
A submissive attitude.
A solemn expression.
A restrained action.
Even if I was belittled, I didn't do foolish things that expressed the emotions caused by it outwardly.
That was basically declaring, "Please make me more of a meal for you."
But of course, even if I stopped expressing emotions outwardly, the negative emotions that had already arisen would not go away.
It would be recorded as a debt in my heart.
Debts accumulate interest over time, becoming unmanageable.
I had to resolve it before that happened.
That was the trick that Astera taught me.
※
The magic progress is not going well.
It's not to deceive my aunt or to please her mood with a lie.
Because my magic skill improvement is literally at a standstill.
And the reason is that I haven't been diligently training magic.
Because I was distracted by other things.
※
"Welcome back. How was it?"
Greeting upon entering my room felt still a bit awkward.
That awkwardness tickles my heart.
"Huuu... huuu... Hoo, hooow..."
I greeted for once, but no answer came.
Anyway, with lips sealed, no answer could be given.
She, Astera, was standing naked.
With both hands, both ankles, lips, eyes
Completely restrained, she was panting roughly while waiting for me.
Since her hearing was alive, she had already noticed my presence, but Astera showed no particular reaction.
Perhaps she was sleeping cleverly even in such a situation.
If so, I had to wake her now.
I took out the whip from the drawer in the table.
Not the terrifying whip used to punish criminals, but a small item for spanking the bottoms of ponies or something.
A bit regrettable, but for now, safety comes first, so I restrained myself.
Even though I restrained it, it was an enormously great release considering what I had been suppressing so far.
Thud... thud...
Even if I walked right up to her nose, Astera still seemed not to notice me.
Very good.
The whip is thrilling when it hits unexpectedly, right?
Crack!!!
"Unguueh?"
It was a beautiful sound that didn't betray expectations.
Dirty, vulgar, a sound that simply reveals the instinct as an animal.
Astera raised her head that had been hanging down.
Although her mouth was gagged, preventing full expression reading, I could faintly see her cheeks rising.
"Did you sleep well, Astera?"
The first toy I received as a gift nodded her head.
Seeing that, strength entered my hand holding the whip.
This is why my magic study isn't progressing.
Of course, I'm not completely ignoring it. I'm doing it properly.
Just... just found a more enjoyable study that goes beyond that, with my hand.
A study to master my true nature.