Chapter 91
Chapter 91
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 91
Chapter Title: An Unchanging Smile
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Looking back, I've lived a life of stubbornly narrow relationships.
This life is no different, but that aspect was even more pronounced in my past life.
After all, the only people I kept in touch with were Jo A-yun and, if I stretch it, Yang Gil-sang, who I used to eat with at the snack bar. That was the extent of my life, wasn't it?
Of course, there was one other guy I thought of as a friend.
If I hadn't known how he talked about me behind my back, he would have been the first person I recruited in this life.
No need to dwell on him any further.
The point is, my social circle was so small that I didn't have many people around me to use as inspiration for characters.
I felt that lack when I was creating *Identity*.
My understanding of people was too narrow to properly tackle themes of characters, emotions, and identity.
I once confessed this concern to Jo A-yun.
It was during the planning phase, and she replied.
-Then I'll give you special permission to use me!
She told me to make her the heroine.
She joked that she was only allowing it because it was me, then asked me to pay for the drinks we had that day.
I remember she drank nothing but hard liquor, as if determined to get her money's worth.
After getting completely drunk, she said this.
-Who in the world is more suited to be a heroine than me?
Her grinning face is still quite vivid in my memory.
Indeed, she was such a bright person. If she had gotten married, she could have been the one and only heroine in someone's life.
Whatever the case, it's something that didn't happen.
-So, is the heroine happy with the main character?
-She dies in the prologue.
-Team Leader, are you the type who wants to kill the one you love? Like a yandere?
-Huh?
-...Never mind. Forget I said anything.
'Miso' was thus created based on Jo A-yun.
Cheerful, considerate, and always smiling more than anyone else.
Looking back, Miso was beloved by many after the game's release.
So, I tried to shape a similar character in this life, but I can't seem to recapture the same feeling from back then.
The feeling from that time has faded.
Time is a frightening thing.
“President…?”
Lost in thought, I felt Jo A-yun poking my shoulder.
“Ah, sorry. I was thinking about something.”
“I-It's okay…!”
Hehe, Jo A-yun laughed.
Then she handed me a box wrapped in a cloth.
“My mom told me to give you this. S-Side dishes…!”
Ah, so it's that.
Her mother often sent side dishes like this.
She would say things like, 'Thank you for making a person out of my daughter,' as a token of her gratitude.
I refused at first, but she looked so disappointed each time that now I just accept them gratefully.
Besides, they're mostly seasoned vegetable dishes, which are a hassle for me to make myself.
“Tell her I'll enjoy them.”
“You don't have to enjoy them…! They're just greens, after all…!”
How can you say that so cheerfully? Seasoned vegetable dishes take so much work.
It's at times like these I'm reminded of how young she is.
Come to think of it, she hated greens in her past life, too.
Even when eating pork belly, she'd say, 'There's no room in my stomach for greens,' and only pick out the meat.
Suddenly, seeing her like that reminded me of something.
‘…Miso.’
If she hasn't changed that much, perhaps there are aspects of the current Jo A-yun I can apply to Miso.
Or perhaps she could be a good medium to recall the Jo A-yun of my past life.
The idea was tempting, and I spoke immediately.
“A-yun.”
“Yes?”
“It's the weekend tomorrow. Do you have any plans?”
Jo A-yun's lips parted.
“Ga…”
“Want to go get some fresh air?”
“…Yes!”
She answers without even thinking.
I'm grateful, of course.
“Where are we going…?!”
A bright smile blossomed on Jo A-yun's face.
Her eyes were sparkling; it seemed she was eager to go out, too.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Ummm…!”
Jo A-yun squeezed her eyes shut, thinking.
Anywhere is fine.
My purpose was singular: to observe Jo A-yun.
Finally, Jo A-yun answered.
“…Ah! I-I want to go there!”
“Hm?”
“The aquarium…!”
An aquarium, huh? At least it won't be noisy.
“Alright, let's go to the aquarium then.”
And so, the plan for the day off was set.
The next day, I asked the Jo A-yun standing before me.
“A-yun, are you coming from a wedding?”
“Huh…?”
For once, she was wearing a skirt instead of her frog tracksuit.
* * *
The answer to my question.
There was no wedding; the skirt was simply a whim.
Then again, she is at an age where she'd enjoy dressing up.
I accepted it and we entered the aquarium.
It's been not just years, but decades since I've been to an aquarium.
I'm not one to enjoy going out, nor do I find much interest in these kinds of attractions, so this was truly my first time since my past life.
It wasn't bad.
Quietly watching the fish swim in the tanks had a calming effect.
Of course, even then, I didn't forget to observe Jo A-yun.
“P-President…! It's a white-fleshed fish…!”
“That one's red-fleshed… looks delicious…”
“A shark… shark fin…!”
Did she come here to look at potential sashimi?
I was sure she didn't like raw fish this much before, so I asked, and this was her reply.
“I'm getting older…”
“Twenty-three is hardly old.”
“I-I'm graduating next year…!”
“Do you have enough credits to graduate?”
“…”
Jo A-yun, the college student in name only who proudly held one academic probation and three F's, fell silent.
She just stared at the fish with a wistful expression.
“…Should we go for raw fish for dinner?”
It all comes back to sashimi, doesn't it?
“Sure, let's do that.”
I replied, and we moved on.
Fish and shellfish, then crustaceans, and after that, there were penguins.
Through it all, I realized one thing for sure.
“D-Did you know? Penguins are actually psychopaths…!”
The Jo A-yun of this life has a truly unique sensibility, even compared to her past self.
This was true despite her having the same face, voice, and build I remembered.
For that reason, I sometimes felt a sense of unfamiliarity.
Of course, that's only natural.
Her life has been different from back then.
‘Was A-yun twenty-five when I first met her?’
In my past life, we first met and became friends around that age.
In this life, we've been together since she was seventeen.
I made her bury herself in work during a crucial period of her personal development, so she probably had fewer chances to meet friends her age.
Confidence… is that the right word?
Jo A-yun still had moments where she'd stammer, searching for words.
And the words she chose were often outside the norm.
And so, I feel sorry.
It feels like I failed to help her become as fine an adult as she was in our last life.
Like I brought a young kid along and then just neglected her.
Lost in these pointless thoughts, I found we had reached the end of the aquarium.
Outside, the sun was setting.
I looked at the reddening sky and said.
“Shall we go eat? That raw fish.”
“Yes…!”
We went to a nearby raw fish restaurant.
“Eat up.”
“You too, President…!”
I picked up a slice of flounder sashimi.
Since tomorrow was a holiday, I allowed her to drink, too.
Jo A-yun seemed quite pleased.
After about two drinks, Jo A-yun suddenly asked.
“By the way, President.”
“Yes?”
“Is something bothering you…? You don't look well…”
I flinched for a moment at her question, delivered with a blink.
Was I looking that gloomy?
“It's just…”
I chose my words carefully.
“…I feel like I haven't been taking good care of you. I'm sorry about that.”
Yes, that's the right thing to say.
Even today's outing had an ulterior motive—to gather source material for the character Miso.
Without such a purpose, I probably wouldn't have spent time with Jo A-yun alone.
As an adult, haven't I done something I shouldn't have?
Just as that thought was bubbling up.
“N-No, that's not true…!”
Jo A-yun said.
“P-President, you've taken great care of me…!”
If she thinks so, I'm grateful.
It seemed best to avoid gloomy topics, so I was about to change the subject.
“You know, if it weren't for you, President, I'd probably still be cooped up in my room…!”
“I doubt that.”
“It's true…!”
*You would have made your way into the world on your own.*
But her next words came faster than my thought.
And they pulled out a memory from deep inside me.
“Without you, work wouldn't have been fun…!”
I froze, my fingertips trembling.
Her words gave me a sense of déjà vu.
-If you weren't here, Team Leader, I would have quit. It's no fun.
I had heard those exact words from the Jo A-yun of my past life.
A sudden surprise began to well up inside me.
“The things you make are fun, President…!”
-Your games are fun, Team Leader. They're my style.
“Watching you work so hard makes me want to work hard too…!”
-I'm the type who gets motivated when there's a hard-working person nearby.
“Umm… Ah! I like the company, too…!”
-I don't like my teammates, but I like the company. Gossiping with you is fun, too.
Jo A-yun gave a bashful smile.
The image I remembered superimposed itself over her.
“I-I've always been grateful…! For bringing me out…!”
-Thank you for letting me stay on the team. Looks like I can save my resignation letter.
It was instantaneous.
The unfamiliarity vanished, and the Jo A-yun I knew came into perfect view.
And so, a pointless longing that had welled up inside me was resolved.
It was surely a brief moment, but in that instant, memories painted a vivid picture of the past Jo A-yun inside me at a speed I couldn't follow.
It felt as if a layer of dust had been wiped from an old picture frame.
Only after this series of events did I realize.
That the Jo A-yun superimposed over my now-clear memories was no different from before.
‘You are…’
So pure.
No matter how you look on the outside, your spirit is just as pure as it was in your past life.
It felt like being struck on the back of the head.
Because I had realized that seeing Jo A-yun differently was merely a remnant of my own narrow-mindedness.
I had been by her side for so long, yet it seems I never truly saw her.
No, perhaps I chose not to see her.
Looking back, I felt a sense of debt.
I felt sorry that she had supported me to the end when my reputation was so poor.
I felt sorry for making her stay on my team just for my sake.
I thought I was holding her back, and perhaps that feeling carried over into this life.
She was always on my side, so I thought I could repay her by giving her a better life than she had before.
That was all I was thinking.
But maybe, she's not the kind of person who cares about such things.
-Money or fame? Not really. I just like enjoying every moment.
The times Jo A-yun smiled, in both this life and the last, were always when she was with people.
She was the type who preferred trivial conversations over talk of fame and fortune.
‘…Ah.’
Only then did I remember.
What I had borrowed from Jo A-yun when creating Miso.
-A happy virus! If even one person is smiling, it makes others feel a little better, doesn't it?
The cheerfulness that barely held our precarious team together.
That was the very motif for Miso.
“P-President…!”
Jo A-yun was smiling so brightly that her white teeth were showing.
“Th-Thank you for inviting me out today! Happy birthday…!”
“Huh?”
“It's your birthday…!”
Ah, that's right.
March 11th. Today is my birthday.
It seems that's why Jo A-yun came out instead of playing her beloved games.
It was a coincidental misunderstanding, but I was grateful for her consideration.
I managed to say.
“…Thank you.”
Jo A-yun raised her glass.
“Then, cheers…!”
“…Cheers.”
Clink. The soju glasses touched.
With the sound, it felt as if a veil obscuring my vision had been lifted.
The sensation of finally grasping something I had been missing.
The gathering continued.
“T-Today, we drink 'til we drop…!”
Jo A-yun thoroughly practiced what she preached.
“P-Presiden's house…”
“We're in front of your place.”
“Ugh…!”
…If only the ending had been as beautiful.
* * *
Two days later, I was at work, sitting in front of my computer.
With a lighter heart, I opened the scenario for the prologue.
『Miso spoke to E-40, who was struggling in the bed.
-It's dangerous to move like that! Just be patient until you're all better!』
A girl who is warm to everyone and never loses her smile.
A person like sunshine, who melts the world with her smile.
That line was meant to express that kind of person.
And now, I finally realized how bland that expression was.
‘She doesn't have to speak so nicely.’
Regardless of her tone, a person who spreads smiles brightens her surroundings with her heart alone.
A person who can truly reach out to others shows their sincerity through their actions.
That's why untainted warmth can sometimes appear as eccentricity.
Realizing these things, I revised the line.
『-If you don't want to become sashimi, you'd better stay still! I'm a very good fighter, you know!』
Miso could be a slightly more eccentric girl.
She would still be a pure-hearted child even then.
Finally satisfied, I saved the changed file.
It was then.
“Oh my! A-yun, you dyed your hair?”
“Yes…!”
I heard voices.
Lifting my head, I saw Jo A-yun.
Jo A-yun, who met my eyes, smiled bashfully and trotted over.
“President…! How does this look? It's, it's two-tone hair…!”
Jo A-yun held the ends of her hair to show me.
Only that part was dyed pink.
What got into her?
Even as I wondered, I could see the truly satisfied expression on her face.
Her smile was even brighter than the pink-dyed ends of her hair.
She was asking for my opinion, so I answered.
“It looks good on you.”
Pink really does suit Jo A-yun.
“R-Right? My mom liked it too…! Oh! She said to let her know if you need more side dishes…!”
“Okay.”
It's a refreshing spring.
An afternoon in which I gained a valuable realization.
The Miso of this life, the twenty-three-year-old Jo A-yun, had become such a fine adult.