Chapter 4
Chapter 4
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 4
Chapter Title: It Feels Like I'll Die If I Don't
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To put it in common-sense terms, yes.
“…Not a single one?”
“No.”
“What about famous racing or shooting games? Haven’t you even tried those?”
“No. My brother liked them, but they never interested me, so I never played.”
Most people who enter the game industry have some knowledge of games. Even if they don’t, they’ve at least enjoyed playing them.
Artists are no exception. In fact, they’re even more likely to be gamers.
Designers, who have a wide range of career options, wouldn’t even glance at this industry if they weren’t interested.
As such, art majors who applied for jobs in gaming were usually those who had been deeply immersed in it.
An obvious question arose.
‘Then for what reason did she become an art director in the future?’
Was her interest in games something that developed later on?
As I swallowed my surprise, Han Seo-rim shrugged.
“I was busy studying for entrance exams. Anyway, if you’re done, I’ll be going.”
Han Seo-rim turned away.
In that instant, my body moved before I could think.
*Tap!*
I grabbed her wrist.
“…What are you doing?”
Displeasure flashed across her face.
I knew I’d messed up, but I couldn’t take it back.
All I could do was push forward.
“Just thirty minutes.”
It was a gamble.
“Just listen to me for thirty minutes. That’s all the time I need to convince you. If you’re still not interested after that, I’ll never bother you with this again.”
“Hmm…”
Han Seo-rim stroked her chin for a moment, contemplating.
Then, with a sigh, she replied.
“Fine, twenty minutes. I’m not just saying this, I really have a lecture.”
“That’s more than enough.”
“Alright, follow me. We can talk in my department’s common room.”
Han Seo-rim gestured for me to follow her inside.
I walked in right behind her.
* * *
There were two female students in the common room.
When I entered with Han Seo-rim, their eyes widened like rabbits, and they looked as if they were about to get up to some mischief.
“I need to talk with this senior for a bit. Could you give us the room?”
“Yes! Of course! We must!”
“How long should we be gone? An hour? Two?”
“Hey! Two hours is too long…”
“Twenty minutes is enough, so could you please leave?”
A growl-like tone crept into Han Seo-rim’s voice.
The two girls giggled and scurried out of the room.
For a moment, our eyes met, and a shiver ran down my spine.
*Click—!*
The door closed.
Han Seo-rim let out a deep sigh.
“…Ignore them and let’s start. Sit here.”
“Alright.”
I wondered if their vibrant energy was a product of their youth, but looking at Han Seo-rim, that didn’t seem to be the case.
It was probably just a difference in personality.
Anyway, that wasn’t what was important.
The twenty minutes I had hastily secured were, in effect, a presentation for a recruitment offer.
I held out the design document I had brought.
“Could you take a look at this first?”
“What is this?”
“It’s the design document for the game I’m going to make.”
Han Seo-rim took the document and glanced over it.
“There’s no title.”
“It’s still in the planning stages.”
“Hmm, survival horror action?”
“Yes, that’s the genre.”
I cleared my throat.
It was time to begin the real conversation.
“As the document says, the genre is horror. The setting will be Hell. As such, it requires a design that leaves a unique impression. Horror is perfected through visual shock. That’s why I chose you, Ms. Han. You’re distinctive.”
“Did you ever consider drawing it yourself?”
“My drawing skills are atrocious.”
“You’re honest.”
“Self-awareness is crucial when creating anything, wouldn’t you agree?”
“I’ll give you that.”
“That’s why I’m asking you.”
I wasn’t foolish enough to blindly beg her to join.
I had to appeal to her, to make her feel interested in my project.
“Since you’re not familiar with games, I’ll avoid related jargon as much as possible and focus on the artistic aspects. Your job will be to bring the concepts in my head to life. The main tasks will be illustration, pixel art, and UI design. The world we create will then be unveiled to the public, alive and moving.”
“Are you trying to appeal to my need for recognition?”
“If you don’t like that angle, let’s look at it another way. I’ve heard that a portfolio is crucial for landing a job in design. This will be the ultimate portfolio piece. So much so that if you say you did the design for this game, everyone will acknowledge your skill.”
“That’s not a guarantee right now.”
“…You’re right.”
She had pinpointed the weak spot.
This was the problem. A promise from a planner with no experience held no credibility.
I had to admit what was true.
A silence fell.
It was a cold, slightly tense silence.
What broke it was Han Seo-rim’s sigh.
“I think I get what you’re trying to say. And I can tell this isn’t some kind of scam. But I don’t quite understand something. Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“What’s so great about games, anyway?”
“…Excuse me?”
“I mean, you went so far as to look up the personal page of a complete stranger to find them, and now you’re pleading with them without even knowing if they’ll say yes. It just makes me wonder what’s so amazing about games that you’d go to such lengths.”
Han Seo-rim rested her chin on her hand.
For a moment, I was stunned.
What is a game?
The question was so piercingly fundamental.
First, I asked.
“Is that important?”
“Hmm, kind of.”
She shrugged casually.
Her poker face was impenetrable, making it impossible to read her expression.
I didn’t know what she was thinking right now.
But it didn’t seem like she was asking in jest.
So, I took a moment to reflect.
It was an important question.
Perhaps the answer to this question could sway her.
As such, it required careful thought.
Only after organizing my thoughts could I give her my answer.
“…Games are play.”
“That’s not what I was asking.”
“They are the finished products, faithful to the concept of play. By definition, that’s correct. But that’s not the answer you wanted, is it? You want to know if games are so great that they’re worth all this effort. Is that right?”
Han Seo-rim nodded.
I answered.
“At least to me, they are.”
“…In what way?”
“In that they can captivate people. In that they can use a myriad of methods to do so.”
A comprehensive art form.
That’s what people in the near future would call games.
Games utilize art, music, physical activity, literature, and every other medium available.
All for a single purpose: ‘fun.’
To allow humans to engage in play as humans.
And from that, another concept emerged.
“To elaborate, your question is also connected to how one defines a game’s quality. That would be the standard for judging what makes a good game.”
“So what is the standard that defines a game’s quality?”
“It can’t be defined.”
“…What kind of answer is that?”
“It’s the truth.”
Han Seo-rim frowned, but unfortunately, this was something that truly had no right answer.
If you asked a hundred people, you would get a hundred different opinions on what makes a game good.
There’s a famous story.
The developer of ‘Doom,’ the legendary game that dominated the 20th century, once said:
‘Story in a game is like a story in a porn movie.’
He proved his theory with his success, demonstrating its practical validity, but that doesn’t mean games with stories are inferior.
On the contrary, there were times when games perfected through their stories swept the industry.
What’s important in a game ultimately depends on the game itself.
“But…”
Still, there was one undeniable fact.
Among the countless criteria for judging a game’s quality, it was the only, absolute, unchanging truth.
“This is what I believe. A game’s quality is determined by ‘how faithful it is to the fun of play.’”
The form doesn’t matter.
What elements are used doesn’t matter either.
The only thing that matters in a game is the ‘fun of play.’
That was also the reason I had hated my company in my past life.
The company pursued the fun of consumption in games, not the fun of play.
Of course, I couldn’t say that direction was entirely wrong, but at least, the games I envisioned shouldn’t be like that.
It was a difference in philosophy, for example.
Well, anyway.
“To reiterate, that’s why I need you. To make the game I want to make, I need your sensibilities. Does that answer your question?”
My throat was a little raw after all that talking.
Han Seo-rim began to stare at me intently.
Her expression was blank, and a thought crossed my mind.
Her naturally sharp features looked incredibly cold when she was expressionless.
Just then, Han Seo-rim opened her mouth.
“…Alright. I think I have a rough idea of what games are.”
“Then…”
“Just one more question.”
I froze.
Han Seo-rim spoke immediately.
“I get that you think games are amazing. But why are *you* going this far? I heard you’re a really good student. Shouldn’t you be focusing on your grades?”
That was a much easier question to answer.
I could respond to this one more comfortably than the last.
‘…Why?’
It was silly to even have to think about it.
Why am I going to such lengths?
Why, when I could be living a new life, have I returned to my youth only to walk the same path again?
The answer had been decided from the start.
“It’s just…”
Because even after dying that way in my past life, even after achieving my goals, I was still thirsty for more.
Because the vision I had seen was impossible to erase from my mind.
Because I was dying to do it.
“…it feels like I’ll die if I don’t.”
For me, that was the only reason.
* * *
That evening, Seo-rim lay in bed, replaying the day’s events in her mind.
More specifically, she was replaying one of Cheon Yeon-ho’s remarks.
—It feels like I’ll die if I don’t.
He was a strange person.
The way he had sought her out, a complete stranger, just because he liked a drawing on her personal page, and spoken with such passion.
If he had been trying to get her attention, his attitude had been far too sharp.
Seo-rim was someone who could tell the difference.
She hadn’t given him an answer right away.
It felt like something she needed to think about.
‘It feels like I’ll die if I don’t.’
As she repeated his words, a question suddenly surfaced.
‘Have I ever had something like that?’
Had there ever been anything in her life she wanted so desperately that she felt like she would die if she couldn’t have it?
Was there anything she wanted to pursue, even if it meant giving up a stable future?
Her head turned.
Her gaze fell upon a display case.
One wall of Seo-rim’s room was filled with the trophies she had won throughout her life.
‘…I haven’t.’
There had never been anything she was desperate for.
Her family was wealthy. Her parents were kind, and her relationships with her peers weren’t bad.
The same was true for her achievements.
Since she was young, Seo-rim had been good at everything.
She learned everything easily and got bored of everything just as quickly.
That was why she had chosen art.
If she was going to get bored no matter what, she figured something creative would hold her interest longer than something repetitive.
That was why Cheon Yeon-ho was so unfamiliar to her.
And also, why she was curious.
—I’m going to make a game.
What on earth was this ‘game’ that made him act like that?
Did it possess some kind of magic that would drive a person mad if they couldn’t do it?
At that moment, she thought of the design document stuffed in her bag.
She immediately took it out and skimmed through it.
Hell, sensibilities, illustration, pixel art, UI.
Was making something like this fun?
Her thoughts deepened.
It was then.
*Beep-beep-beep—*
The electronic lock on the door opened.
The irregular speed made it obvious who it was.
Pulled from her thoughts, Seo-rim frowned and left her room.
“You’ve been drinking again?”
“Aigoo, my dear little sister!”
Her older brother, Han Jin-gyeong, thoroughly drunk, was cackling as he took off his shoes.
Then he stumbled and fell.
“Oof!”
“Ugh, you reek of alcohol.”
It seemed this good-for-nothing had been celebrating his fifth year at university and had drunk himself into a stupor again.
What kind of ridiculous excuse was a fifth-year celebration toast?
Shouldn’t he be reflecting, not celebrating?
He should at least pretend to be wallowing in self-pity. What was this nonsense?
‘…Ugh, why am I even thinking about it.’
It was his life; he could do what he wanted.
After dragging him by the scruff of his neck and dumping him on the living room sofa, Seo-rim sat opposite him and rested her chin on her hand.
Looking at Jin-gyeong’s puffy, squashed face, a fact came to mind.
‘…Come to think of it, he’s this guy’s junior.’
Cheon Yeon-ho was a junior in Jin-gyeong’s department.
Seo-rim slapped Jin-gyeong’s cheeks hard. *Smack! Smack!*
“Hey, hey, wake up.”
“Ughhh…”
“I have something to ask you.”
“Huuuh…?”
“There’s a guy in your department named Cheon Yeon-ho.”
“Ah…”
Han Jin-gyeong, his lips flapping, laughed loudly and answered.
“The junior who doesn’t know how to have fun!”
“Doesn’t know how to have fun?”
“Yup! Our junior is a real model student. Doesn’t touch a drop of alcohol, just studies hard!”
The Cheon Yeon-ho Seo-rim had met wasn’t like that.
He seemed more like an eccentric than a model student.
That was strange.
While Han Jin-gyeong was useless in many ways, he had an exceptional ability to read people.
“Hmm…”
‘This guy couldn’t figure him out?’
That gave her an answer to the hesitation that had been holding her back.
More accurately, it planted a seed of curiosity in Seo-rim that overrode her hesitation.
‘Should I give it a try?’
Honestly, she still wasn’t very interested in the game itself.
A portfolio? Useless unless she planned to go into the game industry.
She was simply curious.
Curious about how someone who had something they were dying to do was different from her.
And if being around someone like that might help her find something similar for herself.
Seo-rim stood up and said.
“Go to sleep.”
“You too, little sis…!”
As Seo-rim returned to her room, a small smile played on her lips.
Her interest was piqued.
Though she didn’t know how long it would last.
Art Director (3)