The Instruction Manual
"Obviously me. What have you even done? You've just been standing around watching the whole time."
"What are you talking about. That's exactly why she likes me more. Don't you know the delinquent girl friend is always the first love of the losers?"
Something about the exchange must have registered as a brief break, because people had started glancing our way.
No—as the person actually involved, I hated both of them. Who in their right mind likes the people tormenting them? If I had to pick one, it would be Jeong Yujin, but that was less about liking her and more about hating her slightly less.
It was like asking someone who loves dogs and cats which they prefer between a rhinoceros beetle and a stag beetle. Sure, if someone gifted you one you might raise it, but would you ever actually grow attached?
The two of them, though, seemed to have staked their pride on this, trading lines with a seriousness that suggested they were genuinely about to place a bet.
"..."
Not that it mattered. What was I supposed to do here? Run? Where to? Back to my room, which was five minutes away at a sprint? Even if I did, I'd just have to look them in the face again by tomorrow.
So standing still—more precisely, standing still while Yujin had her body wrapped around mine—was the best I could manage. Responding as boringly as possible so they'd lose interest would be even better.
"What are you on about, you dyke. You're already the worst. You got dumped. Pfft!"
"...!"
My body flinched for no good reason. The conversation I'd overheard in the shower room had come rushing back.
Strictly speaking, she'd been dumped twice. I had no idea what sexual orientation the previous "me" had held, but either way.
Of course, I hadn't given it any serious thought. If she'd actually liked me—if she hadn't been doing things like this—I might have considered it properly.
If Dahyun confessed, for instance, I'd probably accept on the spot. Everyone here was beautiful, and they were all women, after all.
"...Fine. Chocolate."
Yujin answered through slightly gritted teeth. It was a pathetic word to come out of a full-grown adult's mouth. Then again, given the circumstances, it was only natural. I was the one who'd granted free rein over physical contact just to stay alive.
Hye-bin burst out laughing and accepted.
"Ah—w-wait a second. I-I—"
Even as I spoke, Yujin's hand never stopped moving. She kept stroking the entire length of my sex with her palm, soft and steady, and the mere fact of a woman's hand touching me there was enough to wake the body up.
A finger slowly pushed up against the entrance and slid inside. Her nail stung a little. I wasn't loose enough yet—of course it would. It didn't hurt as much as yesterday, but my pelvis was already aching, and—
"Hngh...! W-wait...!"
I grabbed her wrist, but the finger kept going deeper. Deep enough that the heel of her palm pressed hard against my clit.
"Look. Her hymen's already torn. Eww. Used goods."
"...! W-what are you talking about...!"
Calling a person used goods—the kind of extreme thinking you'd find in certain corners of the internet—made my temper flare for a second. Whether that was some residual effect of becoming a woman, I couldn't say—but before I could snap at her, Yujin paid no attention at all and simply kept playing with me.
Squeeze. The way she curled her finger toward my belly and pressed was skilled enough that she'd clearly experimented on her own body more than a few times.
"Ngh...!"
"See? It's climbing right here. Dopamine, oxytocin. She's a total pushover. Wait—did she actually like getting bullied? That'd be kinda wild."
"No, no...! I-it's just because I was s-surprised...!"
"See? Heh. Women can't feel anything if they don't like it, you know? You've never seen female Viagra. She has to get turned on herself before she can feel it or come."
Yujin poured the words out while looking at Hye-bin. I thought it was close to complete nonsense. And I didn't like it in the first place.
"Stooop...!"
"Oh..."
Worse still, Hye-bin seemed genuinely intrigued, glancing back and forth between me and the monitor with something like academic fervor.
Having an orgasm during a rape doesn't make it not rape. Threaten someone with a knife and run a vibrator on them long enough and of course the body will respond.
A person's body doesn't reach orgasm like pressing a button on command anyway. It's more like a heartbeat—something that happens regardless of your will—
"Hold on. Then what if I do this."
"Hik—?! Ah, that hurts, it hurts...!"
Hye-bin pinched my forearm. At the same time, one of the graphs on the screen in my peripheral vision spiked high. Even after confirming the reading, she didn't let go of the pinched skin.
"Ah, aah...! I-it hurts...!"
"Ahaha. This is funny."
As if displeased that the carefully built arousal was dropping from the pain, Yujin's fingers moved even faster. Fast enough that the wet squelching sounds were loud and unmistakable.
"Ahh...!"
Every time her finger—specifically the blunt joint of it—pressed upward toward my belly, a deep thrum ran through my lower abdomen.
I'd already had sex in this body; I wasn't so ignorant that I couldn't tell it was a sensitive spot.
I'd always thought the whole G-spot thing was a lie. So maybe it was just an especially sensitive area, or—sorry to the body's original owner—a place she'd touched often when she masturbated.
...Was that it?
"Here? Right here? Heh-heh. She twitches every time I touch it."
"Ah, hah...! Wait, stooop...!"
"Come. Come on. Fighting? Just a little more and you'll come looking pathetic, won't you? Spread your legs."
I had no intention of listening—but my legs spread anyway. I'd been pressing down with my body weight, so it was closer to my legs giving out and folding open than any deliberate compliance.
"Oh. It's going up."
Hye-bin wasn't even looking at me. Her eyes were locked on the terminal. And that—
was devastating.
Being here with a woman trying to make me climax without any real atmosphere, any mood, without so much as a single false "I love you," and another woman confirming my sensations only through a graph—that was what did it.
"It's warm. You like it here, don't you? Soft and squishy~."
"Stop, s-stop it...!"
"Nope. If you come, I'll stop. Heh-heh!"
It was blatant bullying. She was making a fool out of me.
I didn't want to come like this.
Even rape would have been fine, as long as there was actual lust involved, somewhere secluded.
What I hated was having my body toyed with for no reason at all. If they were going to use it, I at least wanted them to treat it like it mattered—
"Ugh, ngh...!"
Her other hand slipped into my pants. This time she stroked my ass softly as she went deeper—
"Hik...! Don't...!"
"Heh-heh."
A finger brushed past the hole that had no business being used in a situation like this, then gently stroked my perineum.
"...Ugh, guh...!"
"Mm-hmm. Aww. She's clenching and unclenching. Holding it in? Pfft! Why. Just come. You can come."
At some point she'd shifted into a practiced embrace, holding me from behind.
I grabbed her wrist to pull her out, but some instinct told me the truth: if I put any real strength into it right now, I would come.
So I just held on, unable to do anything either way, my head sinking lower and lower toward the floor.
"Hahk...!"
The wet squelching sounds grew louder. The breasts pressed against my back were soft—
No. I couldn't think about it that way. Right. Bad thoughts. I can never go home again. If I'm not careful, they might fry my brain and kill me. Then for efficiency they might eat my body, or just pull out the organs and keep them in cold storage—
"Twitch twitch. Ah. So fucking cute. Trying not to clench? How about this?"
She pressed deep into the vaginal wall—using the full pad of one finger joint so it wouldn't hurt, covering a wide area—and rocked it just slightly left and right.
Without meaning to, I clenched hard in my lower belly. Muscles that had never existed when I was a man were there now, and they seized. They gripped her finger with nowhere left to move, as if it were something precious.
"Ah, she's coming. Coming. You're about to come, right? I know. Ah... coming. Coming coming. Come."
I don't know how she knew, but Yujin murmured it against my ear in a damp, almost-whisper.
"Ugh, uuuugh...!"
"Come like a pathetic little thing. Ah, ahh. Heh-heh. I think I'm gonna come. What do I do. I think I'm gonna come. Gonna—"
What else could I do? The assault was relentless, so regardless of my will, every muscle in my body locked tight. My field of vision rose a little—I realized I'd gone up on my toes.
"Ahaha...! She came. Heh-heh. Aww, so wet."
I climaxed. Something seemed to drain out of my body in a long rush, and the stretch of time when I couldn't control my own expression felt endless.
"......!"
My hips twitched. Twitched again. Twitched. Her finger was still inside me, not even moving, and yet the sensation kept climbing endlessly against it of its own accord.
"..."
Soon the finger slipped free, ignoring the way the walls clung to it as if reluctant to let go—
and was held up in front of my eyes. The skin was wrinkled from the wetness.
"..."
"See. She likes me more after all."
I didn't answer. I just felt awful.
So while I concentrated on not collapsing, swaying on my feet until my body found its balance again, trying to steady my trembling breath—
"...Is this the maximum?"
Hye-bin, who'd been watching a graph that had only ever climbed in a gentle curve, murmured to herself.
"My hand hurts. Hurry up and go higher. Want to try being happier? Hmm?"
"Ugh, guh...!"
With something hard pressed against my back, every scrap of my attention went there, and now there was nothing left but pain.
"Tsk. How'd you do it."
"It's all technique. Heh-heh."
Across from us, leaning back and somehow still reading a book through all of this, Yujin made an obscenely suggestive gesture with her hand.
"Stooop...! Stop...!"
A remarkable fact: when people are truly in agony, they stop stuttering. Because in the time you'd waste trailing off, you could be stating your case faster—so the suffering might end even a little sooner.
"Don't you have anything to use? Like, did you bring a vibrator or something."
"Are you crazy. You want me to advertise? I'm going to end up in the history books at this rate. Ah, fuck. Thinking about it pisses me off. Hey. If it weren't for you, I'd be making all kinds of shit and playing with it right now. Hmm?"
Something small bounced off my head. A wet wipe. She'd probably used it to clean her fingers.
"P-please, t-take it, take it off...! Agh...!"
I reached out a hand. I didn't know why. Maybe somewhere deep in my consciousness, some favorable impression of Yujin still lingered—the bystander who'd occasionally put on the brakes.
"If you say 'Please go out with me' while naked and shaking your ass—then I'll think about it."
"Ah, ugh, uuuugh...!"
"Stress is going up. Hilarious. No, don't just raise the stress. Yeoreum. Get a little turned on. Hmm?"
"How am I s-supposed to do that...!"
"Talking down to me? Yap."
"Kyaaaaah...!"
The sensation of getting flicked on the clit was genuinely horrific. There wasn't even a shred of pleasure in it—just a direct hit to one of the body's weak points. I thrashed, trying to twist free of her hold—
"Hup...!"
Hye-bin locked her arm under my chest and squeezed hard. All I could manage was kicking my legs. I tried to drive a heel into her shin, but the aim kept going wide.
What the hell is wrong with this body. I feel like I'm dying and this is the best I can do? Fucking exercise for once...!
"Don't move. If you run, where do you think you're going? Stay still before I tie you up and hang you. Hmm?"
"Ah, it hurts. It hurts...!"
"So, try getting turned on a little."
If I'd chosen not to run of my own free will, that would be one thing—but right now even that option had been erased.
Faced with the sheer unreasonableness of being unable to resist, of having no choice at all, a curse slipped out before I could stop it.
"Fuuuck...!"
"Ah. Pffft..."
A swear I hadn't even used when I was being dragged around by the hair came flying out on its own. I clapped both hands over my mouth, but—
"Wanna die? Want me to hit it again? Hmm?"
The sight of her middle finger cocked against her thumb, trembling with held force right in front of my clit, made me open my mouth in a hurry.
"Ah, n-no...! I-I'm sorry, I was wrong...!"
"Mm. That's better. By the way, can't you just come once for me?"
"I ca-can't..."
The thought that if she actually hit me it might literally come off made me beg like that.
"It's already a pride thing. There's stuff you don't understand."
Hye-bin was spouting nonsense. Thinking back on how it had gotten this far, regret surfaced—I should have refused from the moment she touched my chest yesterday. I should have made a real scene.
I still didn't understand why I'd quietly allowed them to touch my body. Because of Minseo and Jiwoo, maybe.
Being bullied was fine. If they wanted to hit me a few times, I could take it. Humiliating words were fine too. But this had gone past simple bullying.
"Ah, it hurts. I-if, if you do it like that, ah, it just h-hurts...!"
With zero arousal, just a brutally reciprocating wrist, I grabbed her hand. Carefully—she might hit me again.
"...Ah, you're right. Then... how should I move it? Hmm?"
At last the finger stopped. The bizarre sensation of dead nerves being hammered from below faded a little with it.
"......F-for now, s-slowly..."
My vision wavered. Even looking at that face, Yujin turned her eyes back to her book as if none of it concerned her.
"Slowly. Okay. Like this?"
"...Y-yes..."
I made a resolution to kill her. Of course I wouldn't actually kill her—but I had to think something like that, or I was going to lose my mind.
"Next?"
"F-for now, j-just like that, a l-little—"
"Mmm. Boring. Then just explain it first. What do I need to do for our Administrator to come?"
"...T-toward the belly, p-press a little, little by little, a little, little by little! Little by littlell—"
"Ahahaha...! Sorry. Heh-heh. Little by little. Like this?"
"Yeees, g-ge-gently..."
I had to carefully explain the instruction manual for my own body to a person I didn't even like.