My Name Is Jeong Yujin
"Hey."
The meeting ended with surprisingly little drama. Everyone had a grip on their reason, so no one needed to be reined in; the atmosphere simply cooled on its own. It was the first time in my life I had ever seen a room settle like that.
Even in a situation that should have been nothing but raised voices and competing volume, people reined in their own emotions, dialed back the tone and the aggression. You could tell they had all been through systematic training. Or maybe, when your own life is on the line, everyone starts by fearing collapse from the inside more than anything else.
So when Soyeon finished with a careful "we'll review this thoroughly," the meeting broke up and I tried to slip out unnoticed. The voice behind me caught me anyway.
"Ah—h-hello…?"
"Why didn't you come yesterday?"
I looked around for Soyeon before I even realized what I was doing. The reflex itself shocked me—and the worse part was that I still couldn't find her.
"Ehehe…"
"I'm asking why you didn't come."
We were standing almost in the middle of the crowd, yet no one paid us much attention. The conversation clearly wasn't a warm chat between friends, but people still looked the other way.
"Just come with me for now."
"Ah, I—that's…! Y-yesterday I was t-too late, and I thought you'd be t-tired, so—"
"No. We still have things to do, so follow me."
I muttered every excuse I could think of to avoid going with her, but against that kind of plain logic I had nothing left. So of course I had no choice but to start walking like a cow being led to the slaughterhouse.
Staring at the woman's back as we walked, I found myself resenting Soyeon. Whatever else had been said, she was still the first person I had given myself to—intersex or not. She had talked about protecting me, about taking my first time, about owning me (she never said the last part out loud, but still)—and the moment I actually needed her, she was nowhere to be found.
In the end they were all the same. As long as they could get it into a hole, they would pour out every sweet line they had…
"…"
No. What am I thinking. I need to think for myself. Taking someone else's help for granted is wrong, and it keeps cracking the last scraps of masculinity still left inside me.
Most people were heading out; we walked the corridor in the opposite direction. The heavy thud of footsteps filled the space, and at the same time I realized I still didn't know the name of the woman who had caught me that day.
I should go apologize—no, maybe not apologize, but at least explain something. Just as the thought formed—
"Hey."
"Y-yes?"
"My name."
"…"
She turned around and asked. As if wondering why I was trailing behind, she gestured for me to catch up so we could walk side by side.
"It's Yujin. Jeong Yujin. Remember it."
…That was how the person named Jeong Yujin introduced herself. She turned her back again and kept walking. Only then did a half-remembered similar-sounding name from the first day we met flicker at the edge of my mind.
Maybe she wasn't that angry after all. Her face looked a little scary, but if that was just her default expression, maybe it wasn't a big deal.
Besides, harassing me wasn't going to make her any money. Like the saying about people who don't come back days later just to check on the shit they already took—once I was out of sight, interest usually faded. That was how I worked, at least…
Thinking that far actually made me feel a little lighter. At least I could relax knowing a fist wasn't about to fly at my face.
"Ah, Yeoreum unnie!"
A voice came from behind. The fact that the name pointing at me was Han Yeoreum still hadn't become natural. I had to tense up every single time just to react fast enough.
I looked back and saw Soyeon walking toward me at a quick pace. For some reason my eyes checked her face first, then dropped straight to her crotch.
I had no idea why. The way they moved next to her chest made me think maybe my brain was just empty—but considering what had happened between us yesterday…
"Where are you going?"
Soyeon came closer. She and Jeong Yujin locked eyes for a split second with no change of expression, so I figured they had decided to just bury whatever happened yesterday.
"Ah, I—to the s-security, security team people, where they a-are…"
"Why?"
Before I could answer, Jeong Yujin spoke. Her tone was blunt enough to make me tense for no reason.
"Ah, is it something important? I have a few things to do."
Heh. Soyeon gave a short little laugh. It was the complete opposite of the furious look she had worn yesterday. She had said she was younger than me, yet even thinking back to the me of my old world, she felt strangely mature.
"……"
"We've decided she'll start learning the work. Heh. Cleaning helps too, of course?"
Soyeon glanced at me with a smile.
"And if she learns the administrator duties, she'll get used to them eventually. Is it urgent?"
"…No. Take her. But this afternoon… three o'clock. Send her over by three."
"Yep yep. Heh. Then good luck. Thanks to you the hot water's nice and warm."
That ended the conversation. Jeong Yujin looked at me once, then walked off with a faintly crumpled face, as if she had no more attachment left.
"…Did well, right?"
Once some distance opened up, Soyeon asked. I gave a small nod. I had been looking for her, but I also hoped the security team's impression of her wouldn't get any worse inside her head.
Honestly, that was just more efficient.
…Yeah. Of course it was a little hard on me. Whenever that happened, well… if I slept with Dahyeon—no, if I went too often it would be a nuisance, wouldn't it.
"Sleep well?"
"…Yes…"
"They didn't say anything? You got back pretty late last night."
"…I-I'm fi—no, I, I slept with D-Dahyeon…"
I almost lied, then just told the truth. She didn't seem like the type to go ask in person (we had only known each other a short while!), but inventing excuses never helped anything.
"With Dahyeon?"
Soyeon tilted her head. Luckily there wasn't even a flicker of jealousy; whether that was because Dahyeon was a woman, I couldn't tell.
"Y-yes… j-just, it's been a w-while…"
"…Heh! Then tonight you can sleep with me."
She said it and linked her arm through mine. The soft crush of her breast against my arm felt good, but I still couldn't erase the awareness that she had a cock.
"……N-next time…"
I could only answer awkwardly.
They say starting is half the battle.
Unfortunately that saying didn't apply to me at all right now. Something more like "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" felt closer to the truth.
Understanding the explanations still left a distance of more than a thousand miles (I figured that was what the proverb meant too).
"So if this is, mm, about this much?"
Soyeon touched the screen with her finger and the graph shot up to the point of contact.
"And this is this much. This… this much. If it were this situation, what would unnie do first?"
"……Uh, f-first, c-connect this and this, and… then structural cancer wouldn't form…? Because this and this… they s-said they combine well, so…"
"Aha…! Right. You're not wrong, but sadly—wrong. Heh!"
"Ah…?"
"It's fine. Getting it wrong is normal, actually. Unnie got it right from the start, though. This is called the Nophy Paradox."
Soyeon explained this and that. I still couldn't understand a single thing. She was throwing out names of effects and laws I had never even heard of; of course I couldn't follow.
"Yeah, so this is the basics… want to try the advanced stuff too?"
I shook my head hard left and right. Fuck. Of course they wouldn't put useless people on a spaceship that had to conquer a mass that size and carry actual humans.
It was a job that required real specialized knowledge, so even the basic foundation she was explaining before the real lessons was hard to grasp.
If I had still been in my right mind—if I had been her—this would have been material about a printer that worked normally.
When I first heard the name I thought of the 3D printers from my old world, but the foundation was completely different.
"Heh. Cute. It's okay. You'll get used to it if you keep at it. You already learned it once, after all."
Soyeon said that and reached up to stroke my head. The change in how she treated me—more than a friend or colleague—was obvious.
There was no way I could miss the way she kept drifting closer while explaining, pulling me in by the waist and other little touches.
The triangle in my chest felt like it was about to round itself into a smooth pearl; even when I tried to keep distance it didn't mean anything.
"…"
"Then let's rest! Want to stay together, or go rest in your room? They won't be there right now."
"…Th-then, c-could I rest j-just a little…?"
I looked up at her. Her expression wasn't great. If I were Soyeon I probably would have made a similar face—and yet if it had been me, I wouldn't have pushed this hard.
"……Or there are other things we could do…"
"Euk…! N-no!"
"…"
Soyeon brought her face close, so I hurriedly stood up. Of course she looked hurt, but…
My feelings were complicated. Yes, I had given her my first time, but that didn't automatically mean we had to date.
If her face had been ugly it might have been different, but she was so pretty it was almost unfair.
"…I-I'll come s-sleep later t-tonight."
I tried to make the wording as wholesome as possible so there would be no misunderstanding.
"Just! S-sleeping together…!"
I added that in case she still got the wrong idea, and her face broke into a soft smile.
"Hehe. Shall we? Then, before you go, can I have just one kiss?"
"Eek…"
"Hm? Just once."
No matter how I looked at it, this wasn't going to be easy to brush off—especially after I had already promised to sleep with her.
"…"
I had no choice. I didn't think she would let me leave otherwise, and she had also charged into the security team with fire in her eyes to save me.
I didn't like the way I kept repaying things like this, but…
Peck.
I pursed my lips, made a soft sound against her cheek (I wasn't even sure if I actually touched it), and fled. Luckily that seemed to be enough; Soyeon waved goodbye. I bowed at the waist and bolted for the room—
"…Ah. Yeoreum-nim."
—only for Jiwoo to be the one greeting me now. I felt dizzy. Had I ever wanted rest this badly recently?
I almost missed the days when all I had to do was clean.
"…Yesterday, wh-where did you sleep?"
Jiwoo's question. She still seemed to be resting rather than fully recovered. When you thought about it, the machines had already been stripped of what needed stripping and built of what needed building, so maybe she had some free hands now.
"Ah, I… with Dahyeon-nim…"
"…"
Jiwoo nodded, got down from the bed, and came toward me.
"…Hnn."
Just like Minseo that day, she started sniffing me.
"Ugh…! Wh-what are you doing…!"
"Ah, sorry… M-Minseo told me to try… said it was cute…"
"…S-seriously…"
I grumbled at Jiwoo, who looked both proud of herself for finding the courage and a little apologetic at the same time.
Yeah. This was what I went through in this room. Come to think of it, I still hadn't decided how I was supposed to look at Minseo and Jiwoo. Getting used to cocks. That ridiculous campaign still hadn't really started in earnest—well, we had already rubbed against each other and everything, but still.
And right in the middle of that I had suddenly lost my virginity and come back.
"……"
"…"
Awkward silence filled the room. The campaign had mostly been Minseo's idea, and Jiwoo was a lot more ordinary than I expected—or to put it another way, she didn't have the nerve to cling to me slickly.
I couldn't sit or move, just stared at Jiwoo, and every time our eyes met I looked somewhere else for a long while.
The door burst open. I turned in surprise and saw Minseo standing in the frame, staring at me with the same startled expression—
"Ah! Long time no see!"
—before she dashed over and planted her mouth on mine—
"Eup, hick…!"
The wet sound of saliva mixing with saliva, the soft chuurp, ppyueup of air and liquid being pulled through lips that had briefly become a vacuum.
She grabbed the back of my head so I couldn't escape, then seized my waist and yanked me flush against her body—
"…Pwah! Mm! Charge complete! You dare sleep in another room without a word? You're seriously gonna die today. I'm gonna keep going until you beg 'please stop, I'm going crazy'—"
"Ah, I—t-to, today, I h-have to go sleep with S-Soyeon-nim—"
"What? Why—ah, well… I don't really care. Mmm…"
Minseo narrowed her eyes as if recalling my relationship with Soyeon, then put her usual expression back on and went to the locker beside her bed, rummaging through it.
"…"
"…Ah, found it. Mm. So after dinner you're coming to our room, right? Yeah?"
"……If I d-don't have a-anything else to d-do…"
"Then see you then?"
She pulled a forearm-sized machine out of the drawer—something I had no idea what it was for with the knowledge I currently possessed—and dashed out the door.
It was a truly chaotic moment.
I was still dazed that Minseo had left without even waiting for my answer when I noticed Jiwoo carefully watching my face.
"…"
"…Ah, please…"
Jiwoo pulled me in. It felt like the amount of time I got to breathe through my mouth was getting shorter and shorter…