This Academy's Common Sense Is Somehow Twisted
Dragging my frail body along, I ran like a madwoman and finally emerged onto the well-maintained walking path. But it seemed everyone else had already arrived—no single soul in sight. Anxiety surged, yet my body refused to keep up.
“Hoo… hoo…”
My legs trembled, cold sweat trickling down. Already worn out, pushing myself further had dulled the medicine's effect. This damn body. I clicked my tongue and pressed two fingers to the center of my chest.
“Noktia, can you come out now?”
[Um… not right now. We kinda overdid it yesterday, remember?]
As I'd feared, no dice. “Then rest up a bit longer. I need to push back the summon timer even just a little.”
[Gotcha. Good luck!]
The voice echoing in my mind faded away. And just like that, I clutched my head.
“This is…”
Noktia had been my last hope. Now things were really dicey. There was one surefire way to dodge being late, but I hated using it. Still, I was in no position to be picky. With a sigh, I held my right palm flat, facing upward.
But then—
Dududududu!
“?”
A thunderous roar like a herd of horses charging from behind. I whipped my head around on instinct. It was a person. Just one person, closing the distance with every blink.
“Huh? A person?”
Before I could get a good look, she'd screeched to a halt right in front of me. Amid a massive cloud of dust from her emergency stop.
Shwaaak!
Damn it. I squeezed my eyes shut on reflex, but couldn't fully shield my nose and throat. My frail body hacked up a storm.
“Koff! Koff!”
“Uwaaaah, sorry! You okay?”
I heard her fumbling around in a panic. Less than five seconds later, something was shoved into my hand.
“Here, water first!”
“…Thank you. Koff!”
Wetting my throat brought some relief. Only then could I wipe my eyes and finally open them.
And I nearly choked.
Excessive facial muscle change detected. Auto-adjusting.
The fantasy game set in this world, created by the goddess herself—Arcadia Odyssey. One of its heroines stood right before me.
The Mercenary King's daughter and a veteran merc in her own right. Runes Barnen.
She set her bag down and, with a face like a rain-soaked puppy, vigorously dusted off my clothes.
“Seriously, sorry! I totally wrecked your outfit. What now?”
“The clothes were already a mess. I cut straight through the woods.”
“Oh, really? …Still, I smeared you with so much dirt.”
Runes scratched at the long scar inside her cheek, flashing an awkward grin. After brushing off most of the dust, her hand moved to my head last.
Pat. Pat. Stroke. Stroke.
But something felt off. The touch gliding over my hair grew gentler by the second. Impossible to tell if she was dusting or petting anymore.
I gazed up at Runes, still as could be. Only then did she seem to realize what she was doing and sheepishly pulled her hand away.
“Ahaha, sorry. My hand just moved on its own.”
“Mm, it's fine.”
Runes's behavior wasn't unfamiliar. She had a soft spot for cute things, and she'd pulled similar stunts in the game. I decided not to overthink why she'd petted me. She took the canteen back from me and asked,
“Anyway, what brings you out here? Oh, come to cheer on your big bro or sis? Outsiders can't spectate, though.”
“Ah.”
Familiar script, familiar misunderstanding. In a crowd of twenty-year-old academy students, this body looked at least five years younger. So I fired back with a playful lilt.
“Huh? I'm here for the entrance exam too, y'know.”
“Whaat? No way!”
“Sniff, so I don't even look like a fellow student? I'll take it as a compliment on looking young, though.”
“Ahaha… yeah!”
Runes fumbled with an embarrassed smile. My lips curved up instinctively.
Or tried to.
Ah. Entrance exam. Distracted by Runes, I'd blanked on it for a second.
“Runes.”
“Yeah?”
“We need to hurry. The exam's about to start.”
“Oh right! What am I thinking? Let's go!”
It was already cutting it close even by her standards. Now fully urgent, she grabbed my hand and bolted.
“Eek!”
“Oops.”
But there was no way my body could match her pace. As I got dragged limply along, Runes skidded to a halt.
“What to do, what to do… Ah! Got it!”
She came up with the perfect solution in a flash and acted without hesitation.
“Bear with it even if it's awkward!”
“Kyaa!”
In the blink of an eye, my body was in her arms. Her choice: the full princess carry.
“Hang on tight…”
“Don't worry, I'll get you to the exam. Trust me!”
What a refreshingly bright smile. Eyes fixed ahead, she ramped up her speed for real.
“Ugh…”
My body jostled, a touch of nausea rising. But that wasn't the issue.
Ten years living in this body, and my lingering male ego from my past life still struggled with being cradled by Runes. Especially since she'd pulled me snug against her. The firm press of her ample assets transmitted directly.
Torment, self-loathing, and embarrassment bounced along with my body. I ended up covering my face with both hands.
＝＝＝＝＝
“We're here!”
The massive iron gates at the main entrance were seconds from closing. Runes slid in just in the nick of time.
What a close call. I let out a sigh of relief, then she gently set me down.
“Thank you so much. I made it thanks to you.”
“Phew, no biggie.”
Not a hint of fatigue, brushing it off casually. But her face beamed with irrepressible pride, belying her cool demeanor.
“Call it even for that dust bath earlier.”
“Huh, not very pro-merc of you. Now I feel bad.”
“Student Runes doesn't know much about industry rules. Well, not a student yet!”
“I see. Then I'll gratefully accept your kindness before you change your mind.”
“Yep yep, you're refreshingly straightforward—love it. Wait a sec!”
Her bubbly grin froze.
“Have we met before? You said my name so naturally.”
Whoops. Sloppy. She hadn't introduced herself, yet I'd used her name without missing a beat.
“My apologies. You're famous enough that I've seen you from afar plenty.”
“Haha, really? Still, spotting me on sight—honored!”
She bought my smooth deflection. With a hearty smile laced with her signature freshness, she stuck out her hand.
“Then, proper intro: Runes Barnen! Just call me Runes.”
“I'm Harné Astel. Nice to meet you, Runes.”
Maybe because we'd just cheated death by lateness, our handshake gripped firm. And Runes straight-up pulled me in for an arm-around-the-shoulder buddy lock.
“Alright, let's go!”
Wait. Was Runes this touchy-feely? A bit flustered by her arm, I noticed her eyes sparkle ahead.
“Whoa, so this is Kalsea Academy!”
The meritocracy academy founded in an autonomous zone by a retired hero. True to its rep as the continent's best, the first impression hit different. While other cities clung to medieval vibes, this place flaunted a near-modern flair all its own.
Impressive, sure. Seeing game scenery in real life for the first time was novel. But recalling it was the spot most meddled with by that damn goddess soured it quick.
“You two, new examinees? This way, please.”
“Yes!”
A staffer appeared right on cue. Runes yanked my wrist and dragged me along. A few corridor turns later, two lines came into view. One for women, one for men. Split by gender, leading to separate rooms.
“Item check?”
Tall Runes peered ahead. Short me didn't even bother tiptoeing—just nodded.
“Probably. It's been mandatory for about three years now.”
“Hm. Gotta be the Reverse Star Group, right? Good thing I didn't tidy my bag.”
“…”
Item inspection. Not in the original game. So Runes was spot on.
Reverse Star Group. Isekai failures imprisoned by the goddess. Criminal outfit formed after escaping their retired tormentor. With their indiscriminate terror, beefed-up academy security was inevitable.
“Next, come in.”
Time passed, and as dead last, we entered the room.
“Place your belongings on the table. If you have a subspace pocket, hand it over.”
Runes thumped her bulging backpack down. I offered my pouch-shaped mini-subspace.
The female staffers got to work fast. One approached me, asked permission, and carefully patted me down. Legs, then top. Finally… she reached for my chest.
“…”
The staffer calmly pressed or tapped my chest. No one batted an eye. Runes beside me went through the same without a fuss.
Thankfully, her hands withdrew soon. But it wasn't over.
“Press this to your chest.”
She pulled out a thin crystal plate and pressed it deep against my bosom. A faint glow emanated.
The staffer slid it around.
“No dark magic detected. Mana rank: 2nd Hierarchy.”
The light faded, and she stepped back. Another returned my subspace.
“Inspection complete. Harné Astel.”
“…Yes.”
I helped Runes stuff her bag back and headed to the corridor, handed off to another staffer right away.
We soon reached a spacious room with curtains drawn over every window. The staffer at the door scanned us coolly.
“We'll take rough body measurements. Your cooperation, please.”
We moved to the wall at her gesture. A scale plate and a few magic tools waited.
Standing straight, she swept a thin, long magic tool over my shoulders, arms, and waist.
A few checks later, she nodded.
“Basic measurements complete.”
She went to a pile of size-sorted clothes against one wall and grabbed a set without hesitation—the leftmost one.
“Change into the exam uniform in the side changing room. We'll hold your belongings.”
“…Got it.”
I took the exam uniform. Examined its design.
“…Hoo.”
Steadying my trembling hands, I parted the curtain and stepped inside.
The sight hit me like vertigo.
I'd expected it. Braced myself, even. But the raw, provocative scene was harder to stomach than I'd thought.
Girls stripping to change into exam uniforms? Ten years as a girl, and that phase was long past.
The problem was the uniforms they were changing into. Identical to mine.
Something like a high-leg swimsuit. Clingy material everywhere, excessively exposed structure. And the pitifully scant fabric at the hips. Their exposed skin outnumbered the black cloth.
Yet not a single girl reacted oddly to the outfit. Or the situation.
Expressions, movements, chatter—all utterly normal. As if the word “shame” didn't exist in their heads.
Well, par for the course in this autonomous zone.
After all, wearing these dedicated exam uniforms for the entrance exam was just common sense.
“Harné, what're you doing? Hurry and change.”
Runes entered the changing room a step behind, eyeing me curiously before shrugging off her top.
“…”
This world, long dominated by the goddess of whimsy, had some warped common sense.
And this academy, her most meddled-with playground, had common sense that was very warped.