Cola and the Fox
I needed to eat. That much was obvious.
Yokai basically ran on demonic energy, but animal-type yokai like me also needed to drink and eat like humans. What a high-maintenance body. For the past two years, the only thing I'd eaten were those bizarre, lumpy fruits that hung all over Janghwa Hyeonyo. A perfectly omnivorous fox surviving on nothing but fruit? No wonder my appetite had finally exploded.
Depo looked perfectly happy munching on the acorns that old man Mangtae brought him... but someone like me, who still hadn't shaken off human habits, was dying for real human food. And if I had to pick what I missed most?
It wasn't ramen. It wasn't chicken. It wasn't even white rice with kimchi.
It was cola. Cola.
Among all the Koreans alive today, was there even one person who hadn't taken a single sip of cola for two whole years? I doubted it. Probably not a single soul.
That tongue-prickling sweetness. That throat-burning tingle. That crisp, brain-clearing refreshment. I couldn't even put into words how badly I'd craved it.
In that spirit, I stared at the 1.25-liter plastic bottle in front of me with solemn reverence.
It looked... kind of obscene. I don't know why, but that pitch-black sweet liquid felt downright lewd to me.
I carefully twisted off the red cap.
Hisssssssss.
The sound of escaping carbonation hit my ears, and only then did I truly believe that the dark liquid in front of me was the real thing.
With polite dignity, I lifted the bottle with both hands.
And then I chugged it.
Gulp. Gulp. Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp...
"Kwaaaaaah, fuck yeah!"
This. This was happiness.
The strong carbonation burned my throat so badly it almost hurt, but the intense pleasure completely overpowered any discomfort. It was so good that I actually thought, Yeah, saving those humans was totally worth it.
I couldn't believe I'd forgotten this heavenly taste and survived on who-knows-what for two years.
To truly enjoy cola at its peak, you needed something greasy and heavy. From ancient times, cola and oily snacks had been the ultimate pairing. Actually, there was basically nothing that didn't go with cola except plain white rice.
I ripped open every single snack bag on the desk and began savoring them one by one.
Mmm. Greasy potato chips. The salty seasoning hit my tongue and made my whole body shiver.
While I was mindlessly devouring snacks and cola, one particular candy caught my eye.
Mentos.
The famous candy that supposedly caused an explosion when combined with cola. I'd always wanted to try it at least once.
Since this wasn't even my house anyway, should I just go for it? How could I resist?
Decision made, I immediately tossed four or five Mentos into my mouth. Then I grabbed the cola and started chugging again.
"..."
What? Nothing's happening. That's surprisingly anticlimactic.
That was when someone opened the interrogation room door and walked in.
"Lady Miho, we're ready. Let's have a proper conversation now."
"It's really her...! We finally meet!"
One was a middle-aged man with a completely bald head, presumably the director of the Jirisan Yokai Hunter Office. The other was someone whose face looked pretty familiar... Wait.
"Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!"
Sure enough. The combination of cola and Mentos was dangerous after all.
In the end, I had no choice but to spray everything in my mouth straight forward. The bald middle-aged man got a full cola shower courtesy of me. Meanwhile, that Force Arts user—what was her name again? Right, Lee Ha-neul—demonstrated incredible reflexes by ducking behind the director's back and avoiding the carbonated baptism entirely.
"..."
"Ah. Sorry."
"..."
He looked a little pissed. ...It'll be fine, right? I mean, I'm the one who saved his life.
Despite the unfortunate incident, the conversation finally began.
"Allow me to introduce myself properly. I am Lee Han-ul, Director of the Jirisan National Park Yokai Hunter Office and a Grade 4 Senior Secretary."
"My name is..."
"Lee Ha-neul, right?"
"You remembered! Thank you. I'm not actually part of the Yokai Hunter Office staff. I'm a nationally certified Force Arts practitioner."
Aha. I'd wondered if every Yokai Hunter Office had someone as impressive as her. I introduced myself to them.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Miho. As you can see, I'm a fox yokai."
It felt incredibly awkward—even to me—to have humans and a yokai having such a peaceful conversation, but we kept going. Since I wasn't actually under arrest or being interrogated, we decided to talk as equals. We would take turns asking questions.
Lee Ha-neul seemed to be participating as the director's bodyguard. The actual conversation was between me and Director Lee Han-ul.
I asked the first question. There was something I wanted to know more than anything.
"How is everyone feeling?"
At least on the surface, everyone I'd met looked fine. The director, his team members, and Lee Ha-neul too. It seemed the healing power of my foxfire—used while I had six tails out—had been quite effective.
What worried me was the mental trauma. They'd had their livers ripped out and eaten alive by that blue fox spirit. It wouldn't be strange if they suffered from lifelong PTSD.
In response to my question, Director Lee Han-ul nodded.
"We're all fine. Thanks entirely to you, Lady Miho. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you once again. Thank you for saving me and my subordinates, Lady Miho."
"Yeah... well. It was nothing..."
I hadn't brought it up because I wanted praise. I just scratched my head awkwardly.
But the gratitude ended there. Suddenly, Director Lee Han-ul's eyes sharpened as he continued.
"Lady Miho, I have a mountain of questions... but I'll ask them one at a time, carefully."
"Sure. I'll answer anything I can."
"Thank you. First, may I ask why you saved us?"
Apparently thinking it was a sharp question, Lee Han-ul swallowed nervously. Lee Ha-neul, sitting beside him, stared at me intently, clearly curious about how I'd answer.
Why did I save them? Well...
"How could I just stand by and watch people die?"
"...Pardon?"
"I'm not a psychopath. Let me ask you the same thing. If someone was dying right in front of you, Director, would you really just watch?"
"W-well, no, but..."
"Right? You wouldn't. You'd call 119 or put medicine on the wound or do something. That's why I saved you. And luckily, I happened to have the power to do it."
"..."
The moment I answered, both people sitting across from me dropped their jaws. Lee Ha-neul was the first to speak.
"D-do you even know what 119 is?"
"Of course I do. Isn't that common knowledge? Even the snot-nosed elementary school kids in the neighborhood know what 119 is. They teach that in kindergarten, don't they?"
"L-Lady Miho, where on earth did you learn about human knowledge..."
"It's my turn to ask questions now."
"...I see."
Even if I told them, they probably wouldn't believe me anyway. Waking up one day possessing the body of a fox yokai? That was some next-level nonsense. Who would believe such an absurd story?
Alright. My turn.
"Why are you all so friendly toward me?"
"That's..."
I'd been curious about this from the moment I first met them. Even though I'd saved their lives, the way they looked at me was clearly intense goodwill.
"Is it a difficult question to answer?"
"No, it's not that... It's just hard to explain in words. It might be faster if you saw the office's atmosphere with your own eyes, Lady Miho."
"...Alright."
"Very well. Next question. What exactly is your relationship with the blue fox spirit that appeared recently?"
"I don't know."
"...I see."
It was the truth. I didn't know either. That was exactly why I'd come outside—to find the Taeja Singi and get some answers.
I asked my next question.
"Does this Yokai Hunter Office have a computer?"
"...Yes, we do."
"It has internet, right?"
"Yes."
"Good."
"...Is that all?"
"That's it. Your turn."
"Understood... Lady Miho, why did you come out of the Hidden World? What is your purpose, and why did you want to meet us? May I ask that?"
"..."
Here comes the main point.
I thought for a moment. Should I be honest with them or not? Then I decided. I wouldn't tell them everything.
I remembered how Janghwa Hyeonyo had reacted so strangely when I mentioned the Taeja Singi. My instincts told me that nothing good would come from these people learning about it.
I answered as vaguely as possible.
"I came out because I needed information. Information that only humans would know."
"Your purpose is..."
"I can't tell you the details, but rest assured it won't cause you any harm. I like humans, you know."
It was all true. The proof was that my tail was wagging all over the place even as I spoke.
Lee Ha-neul seemed fascinated by my wildly swinging tail and kept staring at it with curious eyes.
Time for the last question.
"This is my final question. Actually, it's more of a request."
"...?"
"Can I stay here for a few days?"
The people at the Jirisan Yokai Hunter Office were strangely friendly toward me. I decided to take full advantage of that.
I continued, "Of course I don't expect to stay for free. If there's anything you want me to do, just tell me. I'll help with almost anything."
"Hmm..."
"Honestly, I'm basically your lifesaver. This much should be easy for you to accept, right?"
Luckily, the director's answer was positive.
"...We'll prepare a place for you to stay, Lady Miho."
Accepting a yokai like me into a Yokai Hunter Office? Even I thought it sounded ridiculous. But for some reason, the director nodded and accepted my proposal quite willingly.
He was probably planning to get information out of me too.
"Thank you! You'll be blessed for this!"
"Do you have any other requests?"
Things had gone smoother than expected. My six tails started wagging furiously with joy.
In an excited voice, I continued.
"Please provide me with fresh cola every single day."
"Understood."
"For breakfast, brunch! Honey toast and iced Americano!"
"...Understood."
"Lunch should obviously be Korean food. Tteokbaegi bulgogi, doenjang jjigae, kimchi jjigae. Rotate those three menus for me."
"Un... derstood..."
"Dinner is fucking chicken and beer! If you bring me boneless chicken breast, I'll burn it all to ashes, so don't even think about it. I only accept chicken leg meat!"
"..."