Chapter 153
Chapter 153
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 153
Chapter Title: We're Fucked, Guys
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The Pirate, test subject for the Six Freaks Clan's arch test, declares:
"I'm gonna smash that virtual electronic bitch! No reason needed!!"
At the Pirate's savage proclamation, dripping with evil and ferocity beyond measure, she straight-up pisses herself!! This shit's not even on the internet wiki! Eeeeek!
The Pirate spews nonsense on the level of a VTuber stalker, utterly devoid of humanity!
He's lost his mind!
In that moment, Wakamoto Kan, who had been listening quietly, lets out a single remark.
"Super pissed."
Super pissed!
This is the refined expression used by ancient Silla nobles to voice their displeasure. Terrifying! Despite her calm tone, the chilling atmosphere makes Inari Inarikami bow her head.
"Ah, hi!"
A flowing silence, a heavy mood!!
Anyone unfamiliar with VTubers who ends up in a spot like this would no doubt break out in cold sweats from the humiliation and end up committing seppuku on the spot!
"Marine sets sail/Uni-Son/We are the Houshou Pirate Crew."
"Nuuuut....! Poet!"
Poet!
A haiku so transparent and fantastical, even laced with subtle beauty!
Will the parishioners comprehend the profound meaning in Wakamoto's VTuber haiku?
Captain refers to the eternal 17-year-old pirate VTuber descended from Virtual Japan.
It's right there in the Kojiki.
In other words, Wakamoto's VTuber haiku carries the poignant intent to behead those unworthy of the pirate title.
Wazamae!
Asuka imagines the scene.
"Abaht, abababaht, ababababaht!"
In an instant, Asuka goes berserk, foaming at the mouth like an engineer or Mujon, and passes out.
VRS, VTuber Reality Shock!
Even Asuka, a climber and not a mere mortal, couldn't withstand Wakamoto's atmosphere amid the VTuber stimulus. Fear!
Watching the scene, Wakamoto Kan quietly smiles.
Eliminate the VTuber's enemy and snag the tower too! Two rabbits, no rabbits!
It was straight out of *Abuhachitorazu*, Miyamoto Musashi's kotowaza.
(*It means the same as the kotowaza "one stone two birds.")
Before Wakamoto Kan, even those [Six Freaks] are mere livestock, kuro-ushi.
"Wahahahahaha! Wahahahahaha!"
With boats able to sail even on the River of Three Roads in Jigoku Hell, Wakamoto cackles maniacally at the thought of sending off the Pirate.
-What the hell is this lunatic rant?
-Wrote a whole essay of crazy shit. Where's the mod?!
ㄴMod: That's my paycheck dispenser.
ㄴOops.
ㄴOops.
ㄴWe said nothing! Direct that rage at those two above...!!!
-Mod: Banned the above guys!!
ㄴTruly exemplary moderation...
-Managers in cahoots? What is this word-apocalypse...!!
-.....Wrap yourself in kotodama.
-Ooh Buddha, are you sleeping!!
-No escape, it's four walls singing. Pirate=sha...
-The whole community is his playground!! What absurdity...!
ㄴAbsurd or not, whatcha gonna do?
ㄴAsuka: Jealous, human?
ㄴI'll make a 20-line acrostic poem with one chat, have mercy...!!
-Wait, did the Pirate really declare war?
ㄴAsuka: Big trouble. Master is fucking pissed.
ㄴHe's picking fights with VTuber fans every day...
ㄴThinking about it, this level of provocation is new, right?
ㄴYeah, first time.
The internet was in chaos once more.
On top of that, he'd brazenly declared on TV his intent to blow up [Virtual Live], one of Japan's biggest VTuber agencies, so of course it was mayhem.
As a result, a notice went up announcing a broadcast hiatus for VTuber safety, granting vacations to affiliated talents in the meantime.
The concert ticket in Wakamo's hand crumpled.
Her meticulously planned schedule was now trashed.
Then, articles announced delays to the collab cafe opening, including planned merch, due to the terror threat.
The numbered ticket she'd reserved for the cafe crumpled in Wakamo's hand.
Overseas VTubers posted on SNS too, apologizing for canceling group streams since safety couldn't be guaranteed.
Wakamo crossed out her holiday plans, eagerly awaiting a rare collab with hard-to-gather overseas VTubers.
Even Buddha's face lasts only three times.
Wordlessly drawing her Thousandfold Luck Sword to check its edge, Wakamo—now fully armed with firearms courtesy of the Association Chairman, plus rarely used blades—stared into the void, muttering.
"Even back in school, pulverizing bullies with taekwondo didn't piss me off this much...."
Had she ever been this furious in her life? All her fans were grieving alongside her.
And knowing she was the cause made her want to rip open her gut and apologize right then.
But seeing VTubers visit Inari Shrine for merch made tears well up inside.
Big-name VTubers buying amulets and dolls, praising how cute they were—even one drew Wakamo and posted it.
Life was so full of happiness.... She couldn't voice it, but her health blessings kept them healthy and streaming joyfully. Wakamo was content.
This joyful daily bliss was... shattered?
All for ownership of the 【Mystery Tower】? Couldn't they... negotiate?
"[Reaper], didn't the mediator say last time that if the [Six Freaks] had requests for you folks, you'd handle communications?"
"Th-that's right.... This seems like [Pirate] and [Sword Saint] plus their crew acting on their own."
As mentioned many times, the Six Freaks had no unity.
They followed the [Boss] alone. Even that wasn't enforced.
The Reaper, sweating bullets while gauging Wakamo's mood.
Her eyes stayed closed, smile intact, yet she exuded an invisible presence.
Crushed by the intangible pressure, the combat-class Reaper barely held on.
The beekeeper, entomologist, and professor trembled at a distance, unable to approach Wakamo.
Her 3 million mana surged and churned violently.
A [Wizard] might puke in terror and faint at the horrific sight unfit for the mortal realm.
Did the colors of cosmic madness that drive men insane look like this?
The deep crimson glow flickered, menacing enough to drag souls in.
It was like glimpsing beyond hell. The Reaper's legs nearly gave out.
His mind blanked; he couldn't even process his own words.
"I hate threats to my circle. But dragging in unrelated VTubers— what should I do?"
"P-please... mercy...!! We left the [Six Freaks] to pledge loyalty to Wakamo-nim...!!"
"No, I'm not harming you. Speak freely."
But he couldn't.
The [Reaper] passed out from the pressure and fear.
The other three [Six Freaks] bowed deeply as he collapsed forward, eyes rolled back like a puppet with cut strings.
Then, the newly arrived fifth member, the Illusionist, shoved the fourth-member Reaper aside via [Illusion] and stepped forward.
Precisely, she sent an [Illusion] proxy. Listening via mic from afar.
"—Such blatant provocation when angry probably means they're confident of winning, right?"
"Got info on that?"
"Yes, the German government lapdog and the workaholic girl tipped me off."
The Illusionist mentions Doppelganger and Engineer.
Already in the news: they raided the [Explorer], letting Pirate plunder the Mystery Tower, and stole another from Penthesilea in Greece, treated as a hero by the [Six Freaks].
Here, Wakamo wondered if governments covertly shielded the criminal [Six Freaks] due to their power.
The world runs on might-makes-right.
"Anyway, [Pirate] has a [Skill] for treasure hunting, making him overwhelmingly suited for scouting 【Mystery Towers】. But— he needs to gather 'all Mystery Towers.'"
"Makes sense...."
Otherwise, no reason for such mad provocation.
By now, Wakamo was curious what trump card he had to beat her.
The more weaknesses known, the more she overcomes, erasing her own.
Broadcasters must be flawless.... Like avoiding dumb SNS posts, weakness management is key for VTubers.
Once you start sex jokes, no turning back!!
Lost innocence ain't easily regained!!
"Next target seems the 【Mystery Tower】 in Rome, Italy's capital. Regarding the [Explorer]... looks like they pulled in a [Guardian]. Rumor has it something like 【Legendary Slayer】 is involved."
"....Legendary Slayer?"
"Not much intel even in [Six Freaks]. Story goes it uses something special, like a man-eater, to nullify and kill only 'Legendary Classes.'"
The Illusionist delivers the grim news of the [Explorer]'s death.
Never met the guy, but dying over Legendary Class and a Mystery Tower pissed Wakamo off enough for a deep sigh.
Understandable frenzy after Wakamo's stream proved 【Babel Fragment】 grants wishes.
Of all times, mind-controlled by the Babel Fragment, she couldn't end stream.... Ugh, head still throbs.
"So, their roster?"
"TV ones seem main, but no clue on extra second-gen Legendaries."
"That's enough."
Wakamo asked Jackson and the six Legendaries here to scout Pirate's moves in Italy first. To Jackson's "kill if needed?" she replied, "fine by me."
Using Wakamo Floor 1 for multi-location travel eased national exchanges, pioneered Russia for jobs, shattered language barriers in East Asia Union to grow VTuber pie, forcibly bridged national divides for peace—yet nothing went as planned.
Job creation, housing expansion, climber training to prevent tower collapses—she did it all!!
VTuber health care, ideal streaming environments—!!
"Grraaah....!! Never once wanted to beat and smash someone this bad....!!"
"P-please calm down, Master."
"If Asuka can't even joke, it's serious, right?"
"Don't talk to me, you brat.... Gonna puke.... Boss... ease up.... Your mana pressure's killing me...."
Her rage wouldn't subside. Of course not!!
Stay calm after that threat? That's weirder.
Wanna pummel him. Not kill— but after Sadako attack, maybe flip him inside-out for gallery display....
Nah, just thoughts; didn't bring Adelheid.
She and Ioseph had priority VTuber streams.
Brought the trusty Gen-0 members instead. Cool-headed in any crisis. Wakamo arrived in Greece with them.
Wanted to rush Italy and wait for Pirate, but denied entry; absurdly, waiting for him to come to Greece for the fight.
"Gonna die...."
Sadako, puking even divine wine, writhes in agony.
As a [Wizard], Wakamo's rage-scattered mana everywhere was lethal.
Wizards en route fainted on approach; mana-sensitive ones collapsed mid-step.
"Asuka's stomach hurts too."
"You watched plane crash vids the whole flight and say that?"
"Studied for if we crashed."
"Damn, fair."
Yu Ying couldn't retort, narrowing her eyes at Asuka.
Scanning for the six advanced Legendaries and two Greece joiners.
Unlike Asuka and Sadako, non-wizard/shaman Yu Ying felt no discomfort from Wakamo's mana blast.
Rather, cozy like mom's embrace...? Perfect stuffiness?
Yu Ying's sharp senses enjoyed the silence.
"Spouting this much aura in someone else's country. No manners whatsoever...!!"
"Stop it, you wanna fight?"
"Prime prey!! Can't yield to that [Hunter]! No [Climber Hunts], what's this?!"
Panting, two approach Wakamo's group.
One: maniac infamous for hunting [Climbers] indiscriminately up to [Six Freaks] if strong.
Bickers and fights [Hunter] constantly; called [Predator], the battle maniac more known as Penthesilea than her class.
Ironically.
Beside her: [Sparta 3rd Gen] from the Legendary Festival.
"—Hey, [Idol]!! You're the strongest climber, right?! Don't lose anywhere. That trophy's mine!!"
"This one's always like this... haah.... Hero in Greece, sure...."
Sparta, sighing like an old man, overlaps with Manager Wanda Hye in Wakamo's eyes? Imagination?
"[Acropolis] saved crisis-hit Greece selling tower resources and [gear] from climber hunts. Hero there; criminal elsewhere. Her 'must fight strong foes' clause keeps issues low...."
"Fighting weaklings drops stats!!! You get that?!"
"Don't know. Better than ancestor whispers in your head?"
Both cursed with horrific 【Penalties】.
"All you strong!! Fight me!! I'll beat you and avenge that coward!!"
Gen-0s panic at battle-ready [Predator] surging ki.
But Wakamo alone smiles, hand on her shoulder.
"I'm in a bad mood."
Crack—!!
Sidewalk cracks; earth rumbles soon after.
Distant beach waves churn tsunami-like; dry sky lightning CRASHES!! into nearby tree, exploding.
Wakamo's metal hand grips her shoulder hard; bone-crunching echoes viciously.
[Predator] dangles midair, gripped by one shoulder, glaring down at Wakamo.
"Leave my kids alone?"
Thud.
"Can't control my strength right now.... Got it?"
Swallow audible; Penthesilea glares through shoulder-grip groans but doesn't strike.
[Idol's Tidal Wave] and weighted [Weight of Faith] release; waves and ground calm.
With will alone, could she sink Greece?
"If [Climber Hunter] wants a fight, anytime. Got a story for me?"
Overpowered pre-fight, [Predator] nods; [Sparta] sighs deeply.
....
.....
All Europeans are Greeks.
Greece boasts incredible history and tradition. Even [Greek-Roman Mythology] is universally known. Thus, Greece's tower yields unique drops often.
Rarest: [Nectar], the gods' nectar.
Not booze, but Sadako saved for it once—valuable, scarce. Conquering tower for it made [Predator] indispensable, like Wakamo the hero in Korea.
"But that's your real name?"
"Believe I got forcibly renamed on Legendary awakening?"
"Yeah."
Asuka's reply; [Predator] shrugs off the tired question.
"Know Greece?"
"Laurel wreath."
Wakamo, ear-picking, bored beyond myths. [Predator] narrows eyes at Greece gov request to share Pirate intel. Wakamo's attitude irks her.
She started the fight! But listen properly! Manners!!
Wary of Greek gods as [Idol]?
"Ask about Greek VTubers there."
"Huh?"
"Few Greek-concept VTubers. [Artemis of the Blue], shark girl; [Mythos HQ], Roman Pantheon agency—all use Greek god names. Real Greek-streamers too! [Myrmaidere], mermaid—"
"Stop!! Stop!!"
"Just starting!! Three hours minimum!!!"
"Will you listen—!!!"
Grumbling [Predator] snarls: explain then scram.
Lost to Pirate via surprise poison ambush, overwhelmed. Grimace.
For fair fight, conquer Mystery Tower then duel in emergent 【Colosseum】 under [fair rules].
"Special env: kills don't stick. Some secret.... But enforces fair fights. Only spot for 【Mystery Tower】 stakes. Pirate picked it too."
"Crowds cheer heroes' fall. Careful."
Hearing more plunged Wakamo into confusion.
Overwhelm [Predator] like Sadako with numbers.
Fair 【Colosseum】 duel vs [Idol]...?
"Oh, separately: Italy's got second-gen [Angel]. Rumor: Vatican has second-gen [Idol]."
"Eh? [Idol] alive.... Oh."
Forced revive after death.
.....Not VTuber, pure [Idol]? What's the diff?
"Apparently [2nd-Gen 214th Idol]...."
".....Digit count off?"
Mana-zero-kills penalty intact. Recent cult leader disappearances/mysterious deaths: 【Idol】 Class on rampage!!
Full circle to Vatican.... Makes sense, but worst spot.
[Mana] massively clashes with [Holy]....
Believe she'll tough it out.
No desire to tangle with identity-risk folks.
"Thanks for the info, Sparta."
"No prob. If that's an [Idol], what kind are you...?"
"Secret."
Smiling Wakamo smooths it, parts with Predator and Sparta, moves on.
Waiting: Manager Wanda Hye and Xiao Liang.
Six Legendaries included [Professor]; tagging along with managers.
All six male; girls stick together.
"Manager, Pirate's movements who threatened me?"
"Italy's chaos."
Asuka instantly pulls up net on Wakamo's eyes.
"[Breaking! [Pirate] raids Uffizi Gallery! Fells Champion, steals Mystery Tower and artworks in massive heist!]"
Rampaging freely.
Seeing Pirate sling [Birth of Venus] masterpiece over shoulder—iconic even to Wakamo—draws curses.
But he faces broadcasting cameras, declaring boldly.
"[Watching, [Idol]!! Our crew heads to Greece's Colosseum now! Myth-worthier than Rome's? Got my Virtual Live terror threat?]"
"Gonna rip that mouth off."
"Mind your language, kids here, Master."
"[Honestly pissed! Whatever VTuber!! Hate that creepy valley thing! Robotic human mimicry's gross! Following that? Gross otaku, brace yourself!]"
"Master, my ears must be busted."
"Your ears are fine, Asuka."
"This fucker's suicidal?"
No one else speaks. Can't, really.
Blatant taunt. Knows exactly what riles Wakamo.
Absolute confidence. Win no matter what!
Wakamo's neurons fire at peak climber speed, brainstorming.
All possible Pirate moves, outputs.
Any >0% chance considered; Wakamo blinks.
Yeah.... Sometimes examples are needed.
【Tower Coins】, [Extra Stats], [Faith] stockpiled.
【Broadcast Points】 saved for this.
"You filthy bastard!! Forgive thieves, lunatics, dogs... but not you!!!!"
"Maybe rage boosts his stat buffs?"
"Plausible......"
Pirate's desperation made sense now.
Party thinks: saw her monster feats, how mad can this make her?
"Navy couldn't catch pirates...."
"Please, Asuka. Don't wanna die to Boss."
No even joking that.
Sadako can't drink; atmosphere lethal.