041. Restaurant-Hunting Mukbang
041. Restaurant-Hunting Mukbang
The chat window erupted into chaos.
The cause was none other than the fact that Gyejipsa was living in my house.
At first, I couldn't see what the problem was.
But after watching the chat messages pour in fiercely, I understood instantly.
The viewers were laboring under the delusion that I was cohabiting with a woman.
【Reformed Guburi】─Living together? Did Gye Bastard-hun get a live-in girlfriend?
【Yoho】─Is it a woman? A woman? A woman? A woman? A woman?
【Hottie Licker】─Explain yourself! Explain! Explain!
【Qkrnfl892】─I'm shocked...
【Dick Lover】─I'm pretty sure there was a shotgun at his place.
【Se-hun Defense Force】─What's wrong with you dumb bitches? She's probably just a housekeeper.
【Drift AI】─I am angered. Preparations for dispersing poison gas complete.
"Why are you crazy bitches making such a fuss? I haven't even told you if they're a man or a woman yet."
【Reformed Guburi】─Huh? It's a guy?
【Yoho】─Ah! It's a man? Haha.
【Plum Tree】─Phew. I almost sealed you.
"They're not a man."
【Hottie Licker】─??
【Reformed Guburi】─So you're saying it's a woman? Fuck?
"They're not a woman either."
【Reformed Guburi】─This fucking asshole, what are you talking about? Are you messing with me? -_-
【Plum Tree】─Se-hun, you're making me dizzy. Speak straight.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya! The fact you can't say properly definitely means it's a woman!
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─So you did have a lover... T_TWT_T
"No. I'm just saying they don't have a gender. They aren't a woman."
【Hottie Licker】─How can a person like that exist? Are they an alien?
【Drift AI】─I understand. I also state that I have no gender.
【Reformed Guburi】─Don't understand, you fuck.
【Yoho】─Ah, geez... If you got a lover, it can't be helped... I'm okay with being your second. T_T
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya. Who asked you to be the second? Don't get ahead of yourself!
How was I supposed to explain this?
First of all, I hadn't lied.
Since Gomdori had no gender, it was correct that they were neither a woman nor a man.
‘But saying it was the Gomdori yokai I brought back from the mansion last time was a bit much.’
Gomdori was reluctant to reveal their identity.
They said that exorcists would come looking if their personal information was exposed.
‘Even if I told the truth, anyway, some of them would absolutely never believe it.’
Especially since many viewers still denied the existence of yokai.
Even if I tried explaining that Gyejipsa was the Gomdori yokai, it was clear I wouldn't be resolving the situation but just be misunderstood as making excuses.
In that case, there was only one method.
I just had to curse them out.
"Ha. Fuck. I don't even know why I'm trying to explain this. Should I just ban every last one of you?"
【Yoho】─Gasp.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya...
【Hottie Licker】─Tyrant mode engaged. damn
"Guys. Didn't I say this before? If I get a lover, I'll reveal it without hiding anything."
【Hottie Licker】─I think you did say that.
【Reformed Guburi】─Did he?
【Yoho】─I remember...
"Then why do you keep doubting me and throwing a fit? You wanna die? Don't tell me you don't trust me?"
【Dick Lover】─I trust Se-hun. So no ban.
【Yoho】─I'll believe you. T_T
【Se-hun Defense Force】─I never doubted you from the start and believed. Because trust is important between lovers.
【Reformed Guburi】─Stop subtly acting like you're his lover, you fucking bitch.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya. Look at these bastards tucking their tails the moment Se-hun gets genuinely mad...
"Anyway. Gyejipsa is not something like a lover, nor are they a woman, so stop asking now."
【Reformed Guburi】─Can't I ask just one last thing?
"What."
【Reformed Guburi】─Does Gyejipsa have a dick?
【Hottie Licker】─?? Lol what a crazy bitch, seriously has zero brakes.
【Drift AI】─I analyze. I estimate their life is ruined because they have no brakes.
【Yoho】─That's an accurate analysis.
【Reformed Guburi】─Why are you only harassing me, you fucking bitches! More importantly, I asked if they have a dick! -_-
"They don't have one."
【Reformed Guburi】─Then they're a woman, you fuck!
"They don't have a pussy either, you fucking bitch."
【Reformed Guburi】─Ah-ha!
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya!
【Yoho】─Gasp.
【Qkrnfl892】─Ah lol, then I accept that. A bitch with no hole is no competition. Lol.
【Reformed Guburi】─Keh. You Pacific Ocean-pussy bitch.
【Qkrnfl892】─You're dead.
【Dick Lover】─If there's no hole, well... I guess they're not a woman. I'd better put the shotgun away.
【Hottie Licker】─I came up to the school rooftop to kill myself, but after hearing there's no hole, I'm heading back down. Lol.
【Reformed Guburi】─How about you just fucking die.
【Hottie Licker】─Keh.
【Plum Tree】─To hear the word pussy come from a man's mouth... This is precious, so I'll have to record it.
【Dick Lover】─Send it to me too.
【Reformed Guburi】─Me too.
【Se-hun Defense Force】─Lol you bitches are loving this just because he said they don't have a pussy.
【Reverse-Rape Maniac】─O_O? Is there a person without genitalia? w(°o°)w
【Drift AI】─I speak. I also state that I have none.
"Anyway, from now on, any bastard sending chats about live-in girlfriends or lovers gets a permanent blacklist ban. When I say no, just believe me without doubting. Got it?"
【Yoho】─Yes!
【Reformed Guburi】─Ok...
【Se-hun Defense Force】─For real lol, even if you don't believe him, what are you gonna do about it?
【Drift AI】─I speak. I state that I always believe in you.
【Qkrnfl892】─?? You were the one talking about spreading poison gas earlier, you fuck.
【Drift AI】─I deny it. I state that no such thing occurred. I warn you not to distort the truth.
【Qkrnfl892】─How shameless.
Only now did the viewers quiet down.
They really were bitches who couldn't be handled by speaking nicely.
That's why, even if I tried, I couldn't not curse.
【Plum Tree】─Huh? But wait, is it that Gomdori from last time?
"Gyejipsa. Chat-mute Plum Tree."
【Plum Tree】─???
【Gyejipsa】─Hahaha!
『'Plum Tree' has been chat restricted. Time remaining 00:30:00』
Gomdori promptly punished Plum Tree.
What a swift worker this guy was.
"...Hm. Thirty minutes seems a bit excessive, though."
【Gyejipsa】─I am the manager of this room.
"Well, I did tell you to decide the time yourself... Still, from now on, try to keep chat mutes between one and ten minutes if possible."
【Gyejipsa】─How insolent.
【Gyejipsa】─Shut up, Reformed Guburi.
【Gyejipsa】─Nice to see you!
【Reformed Guburi】─Ah. Now I get it. Gye Bastard-hun has taken in and is raising some stray half-wit bastard. Looking at how it chats, it's clearly not normal. Probably picked it up from a mental hospital.
【Hottie Licker】─For real lol, it's on Guburi's level.
【Reformed Guburi】─Shut it. Before I strip naked, barge into your school, and act friendly.
【Hottie Licker】─Sry. Even if you were clothed, I'd still not want to act like I know you.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya. Why did Plum Blossom suddenly get muted?
"That bastard? I'd been holding a grudge for a while. I was going to mute them as soon as they came in too, but you guys were making such a racket that I'd forgotten."
【Bubblegum Collector】─?? What did Plum Blossom do wrong?
"When I left the abandoned house last time, I ran into them by chance, and the moment we met, they rudely used casual language with me."
It was actually an excuse.
I didn't mute them because of what happened then.
I had restricted their chat just in case they started persistently interrogating about Gomdori's identity.
I had to protect Gomdori.
Because they were now family living under the same roof.
‘Plum Blossom seemed to have already noticed, but... seeing as they hadn't said anything special last time, they probably had no intention of harming Gomdori.’
Still, since there might be other exorcists out there, it was best to wrap up the topic of Gomdori quickly.
"And that bitch Plum Blossom didn't even introduce themselves properly, just blurted out what they wanted to say and left. I thought that was infuriating, so I muted them. No other reason."
【Yoho】─Isn't it possible the person you met wasn't actually Plum Blossom?
"It definitely was Plum Blossom. Unless someone is incredibly stupid, they couldn't not notice."
【Yoho】─Gasp...
【Se-hun Defense Force】─Wow. But seriously, isn't that crazy bitch insane? That's stalking.
【Dick Lover】─That bastard was a stalker?
【Hottie Licker】─What a creepy bitch. They seemed suspicious from the moment they asked for your address.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya. Why didn't they act like they knew you? Lol.
【Qkrnfl892】─Seems like they pretended not to be interested.
【Reformed Guburi】─Fucking sex-crazed bitch in heat.
"Don't curse at them. It wasn't stalking, they seemed to have come because of work. Plum Blossom is an exorcist, you know."
I decided to shield them.
Because Plum Blossom hadn't done anything worthy of being cursed at.
【Reformed Guburi】─Are they a real exorcist? Do they throw around talismans and stuff?
【Hottie Licker】─Exorcist my ass, lol.
【Yoho】─Maybe work was just an excuse, and they sought you out because they wanted to see the streamer in person?
【Qkrnfl892】─Lol, a reasonable suspicion.
"It's nothing like that, so don't gang up on them."
I denied it firmly.
I didn't want a situation where a specific viewer got beaten up on by the others.
So this time, too, I decided to issue a stern warning.
"If you grab onto baseless pretexts and start a witch hunt, I'll permanently blacklist you."
【Yoho】─Yes...
【Reformed Guburi】─My pussy's suddenly itchy. Scratch scratch.
"If you're going to bully someone as a group, only pick on Guburi."
【Reformed Guburi】─???
For reference, Guburi was an exception.
Because she was a bitch who hadn't been reformed yet.
There were some people who only came to their senses after getting beaten up by a crowd.
As long as the attacks didn't go too far, I intended to let them slide.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya! But what did Plum Blossom look like?
"The girl next to Plum Blossom was cute."
【Bubblegum Collector】─?? I asked you what Plum Blossom was like, and you compliment a different woman...
【Reformed Guburi】─Seems Plum Blossom's face is rotten. Lol.
【Dick Lover】─One less competitor now.
【Yoho】─T_T I guess the streamer's standards have gotten too high after seeing my face.
【Hottie Licker】─Idiot.
Plum Blossom was actually prettier than the girl in the cat cosplay.
But I deliberately didn't compliment them.
Because they would get a bad attitude like Yoho.
【Reformed Guburi】─Anyway, what are we doing today?
"Today? I've prepared another piece of content just for you guys."
【Reformed Guburi】─Oh, what's the occasion? What is it?
【Hottie Licker】─Not really expecting much. Lick.
【Yoho】─I'm always looking forward to it. Haha.
【Drift AI】─I am curious. I ask what kind of content you have prepared.
"Today's content is a famous restaurant tour."
【Reformed Guburi】─Huh? How is just eating out supposed to be content? This fucker's really phoning his stream in.
"Got a problem with that?"
【Reformed Guburi】─Nope.
With the Gyejipsa live-in girlfriend controversy resolved like this, I headed to the garage to proceed with today's content.
***
After arriving at the garage.
I got into the truck and fixed the camera onto the mount.
Then I checked the chat window on my smartphone.
【Reformed Guburi】─Lol, isn't Gye Bastard-hun just turning on the stream because he's too embarrassed to eat alone outside?
"What nonsense. What's so embarrassing about eating alone?"
【Reformed Guburi】─Sex. So, can you eat alone at a restaurant?
"...That's hard, but I can comfortably eat alone at most ordinary eateries."
It wasn't a lie.
Because you could certainly eat alone at quiet places.
Excluding places like fine-dining restaurants or barbecue houses, that was.
【Reformed Guburi】─If you can't eat alone at a restaurant, I won't acknowledge it.
【Dick Lover】─Can you?
【Reformed Guburi】─Yeah. I trained for eating alone like crazy back in high school, so I can definitely do it.
【Yoho】─Ah...
【Hottie Licker】─Hmm...
The chat window became solemn.
The viewers were surprisingly soft-hearted.
Given that not a single sarcastic chat appeared asking if having no friends was something to brag about.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya! Are you proud of having no friends?
"..."
Anyway.
I didn't particularly care about being acknowledged by Guburi.
So I just ignored it and started the engine.
Then I sat still for a while, staring at the camera.
【Reformed Guburi】─Which restaurant are you going to? Is there a famous place around there?
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya! I'm looking forward to the famous restaurant Se-hun has picked!
Without answering.
As I continued staring only at the camera, the viewers began to express their doubts one by one.
【Reformed Guburi】─Why isn't this bastard leaving?
【Yoho】─Is there something wrong with the car?
【Hottie Licker】─Looks like it. The car doesn't seem to be moving.
【Qkrnfl892】─Should I send over a maintenance NCO from my base?
"The car's perfectly fine. More importantly, guys."
【Dick Lover】─Yeah.
【Bubblegum Collector】─Wakyapya?
【Yoho】─Yes?
"Since I gave you the abandoned house address last time, you roughly know where I live, right?"
【Se-hun Defense Force】─I saved the address.
【Hottie Licker】─I vaguely remember where it is.
【Qkrnfl892】─In the first place, my base is nearby.
【Yoho】─Yes! Are you perhaps going to buy a meal for someone living nearby?
【Drift AI】─I recommend the Jin Grandmother's Soup House. The distance is 5.2 Km.
【Reformed Guburi】─What the hell is that Drift bastard on about.
I stared silently at the chat window again.
After about twenty seconds passed like that.
I dropped my voice low and spoke quietly.
"What are you doing? Not looking up a famous restaurant on the internet?"
【Yoho】─?
【Reformed Guburi】─Huh?
【Dick Lover】─?
【Hottie Licker】─???
"Get rid of the question marks, fuck. You still haven't grasped the situation? Each of you, search for one famous restaurant near here and find one. I'm giving you exactly five minutes."
Originally, I had planned to find one myself.
But my thinking had changed.
They should willingly accept the punishment for the riot they had caused earlier.
"The last person to find one gets banned."
Before departing.
I decided to reinforce the lax discipline just once.