A Deal with the Perverted Elf
According to rumor, elves are guardians of nature who commune with spirits—beings of the utmost nobility.
Of course, few ever actually see one. There simply aren’t that many elves left.
But even so, the elf standing right in front of me was taking things way too far.
A lunatic who sexually harasses people out of nowhere, a lesbian who prefers other women, and an elf who works in the underworld where every kind of illegal business thrives.
Is this particular elf the weird one, or should I start criticizing every scholar and ancient text that ever praised elves?
I forced myself to ignore one of my basic assumptions going completely off the rails and returned to my original purpose.
The recognition-lowering magic meant she wouldn’t recognize me anyway, yet I still tugged my mask up right under my eyes, hiding as much of my face as possible.
“So, what business brings you here?”
Instead of answering, I pulled out the token I had shown on the way in.
“…An entry pass?”
“I want to sell this.”
It was useless to me. There was always the one-in-a-million chance I might need it later, but money right in front of my face took priority.
It was still an entry pass into Depel’s shadow, so I figured it might fetch a decent price and had come to find out.
The elf turned the pass over in her hands, examining it from every angle, then set it back down in front of me.
“Uh, well… I can tell it’s a genuine entry pass, but the only amount we can offer is the scrap-metal value of the same weight.”
“…What?”
“If you really want to put a price on an entry pass, use the auction house. You’ll probably be able to register after a simple identity check. I have no idea what the people already in the underworld buy and sell them for, though.”
That was a problem. Leaving even the slightest trace of myself was something I wanted to avoid as much as possible.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
I picked the pass back up and tucked it into my clothes.
“Any other business?”
I considered her question for a moment, but there was nothing else. I had no money to buy anything and nothing left to sell.
“That’ll be all.”
Thinking the whole trip had been a waste, I started to turn away—only for the elf’s next words to freeze me in place.
“Then it looks like your business is roughly finished. How about chatting for a bit before you go? Meeting again like this is fate, after all.”
“…I think you have the wrong person.”
Startled, I checked my mask, but the recognition-lowering magic was working perfectly.
“You’ve got an interesting little item there, but it’s useless against my eyes. Still, don’t worry too much. I have to make a living too, so I have no intention of blabbing. I can swear that on the World Tree.”
Hearing a delinquent elf invoke the World Tree was almost funny, but it probably wasn’t a lie. The World Tree was that sacred to every elf.
“Haa…”
I glanced around. The small room was empty. Even when I sharpened my senses to check for devices beyond the walls, nothing stood out.
I couldn’t kill her either, so talking while she was still showing goodwill didn’t seem like the worst idea.
“I told you earlier, didn’t I? I’m just happy to see you. Come on, come here. Giving free money or goods feels a bit much, but if there’s information you want, I’ll specially tell you just one piece for free.”
She sat at the table farther inside and patted the seat right next to her.
Why sit next to her instead of across? I already knew the answer, so I deliberately ignored her hand and took the chair opposite.
“So what’s the real reason you stopped me?”
“Oh my, if you put it that way, this unnie gets sad.”
Her face looked genuinely wounded, but I had already experienced this elf’s shamelessness more than enough times.
When I simply leaned back against the chair without answering, she realized the act wasn’t working. Her expression flipped instantly and she continued.
“It’s about the entry pass you brought. I was wondering where you got it. These things get passed around constantly, and no one bothers memorizing them, so it doesn’t mean much… but if you look closely, there’s a unique number.”
Just as she said, tiny letters and numbers were etched on the back. I hadn’t thought they mattered, so I had ignored them.
“But I remember that number, because I was the one who issued it.”
She propped her chin on her arms atop the table and smiled.
Idly, she toyed with the necklace around her neck.
“You—what’s your connection to Black Moon?”
And then she poured mana into the necklace.
Mist spilled from it, turning the already dark room even darker and more secretive.
My sword left its sheath without a whisper of sound and settled against her throat.
One small movement and that slender neck would hit the floor.
Yet she remained seated, completely at ease.
“From now on, I’m the one asking questions. Try anything funny and I’ll take your head off, so be careful.”
No one could be allowed to learn my true identity.
The moment the organization’s name left her mouth, my body had moved on its own. I wondered if I should have played dumb to the very end, but the milk was already spilled.
That said, I still couldn’t kill her. The instant I did, I would become a fugitive for certain.
Recognition-lowering magic wasn’t omnipotent. There was a record of me entering this city, and if Depel’s underground decided to dig in earnest, reaching my identity was entirely possible.
I would figure out the aftermath later. First I needed to learn exactly how much this elf knew.
“How do you know about Black Moon?”
“It’s not like that’s the information you specially want… Well, I’ll take it as an identity check to build a little friendship between us.”
Even with a blade against her neck, she didn’t tremble in the slightest.
Either she was confident she could escape this easily, or she already knew I couldn’t kill her—or both.
“If I had to put a label on it, I’m an investor. Never thought the whole thing would collapse like that, though.”
Truth or lie? Her voice was so casual I couldn’t tell.
“I ended up in a business relationship with the previous master somehow. So when I heard Black Moon had fallen, I was disappointed… only to find out it hadn’t fallen at all. A cute young lady like you had become the new master instead.”
“…New master?”
“Oh my. I had no idea there was a cute young lady like you, but you’re part of Black Moon too, aren’t you? Maybe you were away on a mission, but you brought the entry pass the guild master used to carry, so you must be the new master.”
“How can you be so sure I’m part of Black Moon? I could have just gotten it by chance.”
There was no more room to play dumb, so I asked outright.
“If that were true, you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did the moment I mentioned Black Moon, would you?”
“…Damn.”
“So, won’t you put that sword away now? Being hated by my new business partner is making me sad.”
I cut the mana flowing into the necklace and sheathed the blade.
The room returned to being merely dark and ordinary.
“There’s no more Black Moon. I have zero intention of being tied to some ruined assassin guild.”
I no longer needed the polite mask, so I spoke casually for the first time in a long while.
“That doesn’t mean you have to refuse a new business relationship, does it? Like I said, I can give you one piece of information for free anytime.”
I returned to the seat across from her and dropped into it.
“What if I take the information and wash my hands of you?”
“One free piece is pure goodwill, so that’s fine. Of course, if you become my official partner after that, the story changes.”
I thought it over. Looking at her attitude so far, it didn’t seem like a lie.
Even after I put a sword to her throat she hadn’t called for guards; instead she kept showing goodwill.
The problem was that nothing came to mind when I tried to decide what to ask.
A way to return to a man’s body?
The only TS mage was dead. There was no guarantee another mage was researching the same magic, and I didn’t want to risk exposing my real identity.
If she learned I was a fake Elicia Frentz, it would just become another weakness.
So what could I ask?
While I sat in silence, something brushed my shin… then my calf… then my knee… then my thigh.
“Hey—seriously!”
I shot to my feet. She snickered. Under the table I caught a glimpse of her bare foot, shoe already off.
“Aww, why so surprised between us? You let me touch your thigh in the carriage earlier.”
“I’m trying to think seriously and an elf is acting like a pervert…”
“Oh my, is there a law that says elves can’t do this? You don’t know, but there are bitches among the elves even worse than me.”
Elves worse than a perverted underworld merchant who sexually harasses other women… Just imagining it made me dizzy.
“Are you even a real elf?”
“After you touched my ears like that, you still doubt me? Ah… want to touch them again?”
If I hadn’t known better, maybe. But I had already heard straight from this elf that ears were erogenous zones, so I had zero intention of feeding her lust.
“Forget it. Look into the Frentz family. The more detailed, the better.”
Whether it was facing the emperor last time or something else, I needed solid information on the Frentz name.
“Hmm. We don’t have that on hand right now, so I’ll investigate and let you know. Once we have enough, shall we visit from our side? We can do that much as a service.”
“Visit in about half a year.”
She had almost certainly pieced together my identity from that question, but…
I didn’t particularly care. She had already seen my face through the recognition-lowering magic, and given her line of work, she could dig up my identity whenever she wanted.
Visiting during the semester would be a hassle, so better to leave plenty of time.
“By the way, what’s your name?”
“You’re finally asking. Lindi. Call me Lindi.”
“Alright. Then I’ll see you next time.”
I stood to leave. She rose as well.
“Ah! I’ll keep today’s matter a secret, so don’t worry. Instead…”
She fidgeted a little, fingers twisting together, then spoke again in a voice that actually sounded shy—something that had been completely missing when she was openly harassing me.
“Can I… touch your butt just once?”
“You perverted bitch?”
There was no reason to listen any further. I ignored her, turned, and walked toward the door.
Hand on the handle—
“…You’ll really keep it secret, right?”
“Yeah! Of course!”
The dejected look vanished. She beamed and bounced over like a rabbit.
I was fairly sure she would keep the secret even if I ignored her… but just in case.