Cosmetics
Sadly, for all of Kirke's efforts over the past several days, the spring had not returned to Luke's cheeks.
As a result, his face had become something of an experimental proving ground for a great many of the forest keepers.
In the course of their investigations they had, of course, kneaded and prodded those cheeks to their hearts' content — so none of them had much cause for complaint.
At any rate, today once again Luke's face was plastered with every skin-benefiting substance imaginable: packs, lotions, essences, the lot.
A chance to try out cosmetics and freely squash a cute child's cheeks — was that not, in a manner of speaking, a win-win?
And the girl who ordinarily so disliked having her face touched would sit there with a sullen expression and endure every hand without protest, which only made the whole business all the more entertaining.
Watching the scene, Yerna thought to herself, It's amazing how well-behaved Luke is even while they're stretching her cheeks like that.
That was because the touching always came under the pretext of "checking results" after the cosmetics had been applied.
Born with a mage's curiosity, Luke could hardly be expected to ignore the urge to know how an experiment turned out. If anything, that hunger ran deeper in him than in most.
In truth, he was curious himself — whether any of this was of the slightest use.
It used to be something only I could do…
A flicker of jealousy passed through Yerna, but she sighed and told herself there was nothing to be done about it.
Why hadn't she bought cosmetics ahead of time? If she had been the one caring for him, she would never have had to feel this way.
"Ugh."
Luke, for his part, let out a stifled groan of discomfort.
Having things smeared across his face was still thoroughly unfamiliar.
He had never once in his life practiced anything resembling skincare.
In the past he had tended to his appearance, yes — but only insofar as one managed the materials of magic. Once a mage reached a certain height, the flesh itself meant nothing; and Luke had never particularly considered his own skin to be poor in the first place.
"That is enough. Any further seems of little use."
So saying, Luke raised a hand to his face, meaning to remove the headband that held his bangs clear of the mess.
At that declaration of intent, the forest keepers who had been preparing more cosmetics cried out in identical shock.
"Why? If you leave it like that, it'll be a disaster!"
"She's right. You've got to take care of it while you're young — once you're old, it costs way more, you know?"
On matters of skincare, these forest keepers were surely more authoritative than he.
Luke let his raised hand fall limply and muttered,
"But… it is far too stifling, I say."
The sensation of something coating his face was so distracting he could do nothing at all.
Reading a book, playing the cello — even eating a meal — the feel of all those layered cosmetics drove him nearly mad with frustration.
He himself could not have said why the sensation grated so badly.
In truth, in his former life Luke had never once felt anything clinging to his skin.
A mana barrier had accompanied him through most of his existence; foreign matter simply never touched his flesh.
And while a mana barrier could, at his will, permit the passage of air, the cosmetics plastered to his face did no such thing.
So the sensation was, simply put, unfamiliar.
Unfamiliar…
Come to think of it, everything about this body was unfamiliar.
That the thing one understood least should be one's own body — that was a magical irony if ever there was one.
The most essential duty of a mage was to define and know oneself.
Of course he was Luke Irushi. And yet…
Was this body truly "Luke Irushi"?
Luke rested a hand for a moment over the circles turning in his heart.
The quantity of mana he felt was staggering — scarcely believable for a mere two circles.
With mana of this magnitude, he ought at least to have been able to lay the framework of a third.
And yet only two complete circles spun within him. Not even the thinnest ring of a third had formed.
He had assumed it was simply a shortage of mana…
But thinking on it now, that had been the problem all along.
Luke did not know himself.
…What am I, then?
In the past he had had decades of growth, human bonds, and certainty about who he was.
But now — that certainty. Do you still have it?
If Luke was to define himself as Luke Irushi, he had to know the answer.
Thump. Thump.
With each beat of his heart, he felt those two solitary circles turn.
Luke closed his eyes briefly and called himself to mind.
His final memories were hazy, certainly.
Three memories apart from his own death — of those, he had grasped the first and caught hold of its thread.
What, then, of the remaining two?
However hard he tried to summon them, only a fogbound, stifling sensation swirled through his head.
"…"
Thinking, Luke lowered his head slightly out of habit, turned his gaze to the floor, and wore a grave expression.
The look of a Luke deep in thought might, at a glance, have been taken for the refined face of a scholar…
But combined with his earlier reluctance to wear cosmetics, it simply looked like a child who thoroughly hated having things put on his face.
And to Yerna the sight was so pitiable she could not help but intervene.
"That's enough. Lu doesn't like it."
Luke had any number of reasons to dislike cosmetics.
Come to think of it, he had never entirely rejected human experimentation, had he?
Being handled like a test subject could hardly be a pleasant experience for him.
He had said he was content with his present life, that he had no trauma of any kind and wished to be treated ordinarily — but whether that was truly the case was another matter.
With Luke, it was entirely possible he had said it only so as not to cause her worry.
Faced with Yerna's serious expression, the forest keepers were a little cowed. They each took a step back and responded,
"Yeah, let's stop."
"We went too far."
"Right. We didn't realize she'd hate it that much."
The forest keepers reflected among themselves, bowed their heads, and offered Luke their apologies.
Luke, who had abruptly broken off his train of thought, was somewhat taken aback by the turn of events.
"Hm."
His opinion having been accepted almost by accident, Luke removed the headband and scratched at the hair at his temples that had been pressed flat for some time.
"I thank you for speaking on my behalf, Yerna."
"Lu, it was stifling, wasn't it? I'm sorry I didn't notice sooner…"
Ah — there was that melancholy look of Yerna's again.
Luke now knew what that expression meant.
And so he took her hand and said,
"It is fine. Did I not clearly tell you not to apologize to me?"
"Mm…"
Yerna could not… feel the soft touch of Luke's hand.
It was nowhere near as soft as it had been at first.
"Luke, your hands are really rough and dry…"
"…"
Luke withdrew his hand at once.
He could not fathom why everyone kept insisting his skin had gone bad.
But what worried him about Yerna was this:
If even Yerna buys cosmetics, then I…
Should Yerna herself begin applying cosmetics to him, his last sanctuary would vanish.
"It is only a feeling, no doubt."
"Is it…?"
"Or perhaps I simply have not washed my hands. Enough — I had best go bathe."
So saying, Luke disappeared into the shower room, his retreating figure somehow looking rather hurried.
Adjusting the temperature of the water from the showerhead had by now become a thoroughly practiced art.
At first even that had been no easy task — too hot, or too cold, and finding the middle ground had been a trial.
Had the device truly needed to be designed this way?
Come to think of it, in the early days he had often asked Yerna to set the water for him.
Her delicate control of the temperature could fairly be called an art form. Indeed, that first perfect warmth had for a time been Luke's own goal.
And once he could match it himself, he no longer accepted Yerna's help with bathing.
Recalling that, he felt he had imposed on her rather a great deal.
Shhhhh…
Surrendering himself to the water that poured down like midsummer rain, he let it run over his body and looked down at himself.
No matter how often he saw it, it was a strange body.
Beholding a young girl's form through his own eyes always summoned an unfamiliar sensation — though by Luke's standards, that barely ranked among the truly unfamiliar ones.
A cat's ears. Horns of uncertain origin. And a Mana Sight remaining in only one eye.
And stranger still than any of those: spirit affinity.
Even to his own mind, spirit affinity had no business taking root in a monstrous mana affinity like his.
The two talents were, by nature, mutually exclusive.
And what age was this, besides? An age in which claiming to see spirits earned you nothing but laughter and the label of an oddball.
To be able to see spirits in an era when spirit mages are this rare…
His spirit affinity must be near historic as well. Had it been a mistake to assume that because Pai's form was simple, his own affinity amounted to little?
Luke met the eyes of Pai, who was bathing alongside him.
-……?
Pai tilted her head as if to ask whether there was something he wished to know. Luke conveyed his feeling with a simple hum.
Into the melody of that hum he poured his own question.
Just who are you?
-Pai, …….
Luke reflected on the sound Pai trailed after the name — not with his head, but with feeling.
Rendered into language, the emotion that came through was…
I don't really know either / I can't tell / I've forgotten.
Figures, he thought, and hummed again.
Then what, exactly, does "Ere" mean?
-Ere is Ere.
What is that supposed to…?
-……. Ere is Ere.
It's just that / so / anyway, Ere is Ere.
"…"
Finding the conversation with his spirit rather less helpful than hoped, Luke heaved a great sigh.
"Haa… Truly, there is not a single thing one can easily understand."
Thinking thus, Luke scrubbed himself with a soapy shower towel — and that was when it happened.
"Hm?"
Something felt off. Luke realized his skin was strange.
"What in the world is this…"
Yerna sat at her ease, listening to the sound of water Luke was making and gazing toward the shower room.
"Hmm, hm~."
"Heh."
Would you look at that — he was even humming while he showered.
Had the cosmetics truly been that stifling?
Luke's humming was lovely to hear.
He would sometimes hum while he played, too, and it blended so perfectly with the music that it had startled her more than once.
Later he had performed again the piece that had drawn so many donations, and that was the first time she had learned a child's voice could be so beautiful.
His voice was always rather lovely to begin with.
It was only that he insisted on being "Luke Irushi" and spoke in that stiff manner.
Once the bath was over, should she ask him to play again — this time with singing, too?
Just imagining it made the corners of her mouth twitch upward.
Mm. Her expression right now might look a little perverted.
Yerna was fiddling with the edge of her mouth, managing her face, when the shower room door burst open with a bang.
He had clearly come rushing out; water still dripped steadily from hair that had not been dried.
"Yerna!"
"Lu? What's wrong? You haven't even dried off."
"Look at this! My skin is…"
"Hm? What about your skin?"
Luke pinched his arm between thumb and forefinger and pulled.
The skin tore free and peeled away as if a shell were coming off.
Yerna shot to her feet and stopped him.
"Stop peeling it — something could go wrong!"
"Ah. Very well. I shall."
Luke immediately ceased stripping the skin.
He had no idea what this symptom was. Acting rashly would be unwise.
"This isn't some kind of skin disease, is it?"
"I couldn't say. I do not know either."
Then a single possibility brushed across Yerna's mind.
"…Don't tell me."
This might be an aftereffect of the human experimentation.
They needed a dermatologist. Right now.