Chapter 151
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 151
Thalia kept her eyes locked onto Barkas’s, straining with every fiber of her being.
The sensation was like a massive boulder crushing her pelvis. Cold sweat erupted across every inch of her skin, her pores weeping with the effort. She summoned every last ounce of her strength, yet it felt as though she were making no progress at all.
She was on the verge of breaking. How much longer could she endure this? Just as she was about to surrender to the unbearable agony, a sharp cry rang out.
Thalia forced her eyelids open, though they were heavy with salt and tears. The priestess stationed at the foot of the bed, peering beneath the linen sheet, was staring between Thalia’s legs with a look of grave concern.
Thalia struggled to part her cracked lips. “What... what is it?”
“B-blood...” the maid standing by the bed muttered, her face ashen with terror.
The head maid grabbed the girl with a fierce hand and shoved her back.
Before Thalia could process the sight, the contractions—which had briefly subsided—flared up with renewed violence. She clung to the nape of Barkas’s neck once more.
She lost track of time. There was only the feeling of bones splitting apart, of organs and nerves being pulverized. Suddenly, her vision whited out. Something that had been blocking her lower body finally slid free.
The sensation was so intense that her head snapped back involuntarily, and a piercing scream tore from her throat.
Thalia slumped into Barkas’s arms like a corpse, gasping for air. Her ears felt muffled, as if she were deep underwater, and her vision was a blurred smear of light and shadow.
It felt as though something inside her had been severely torn. However, the excruciating pain that had threatened to set her brain on fire was finally gone.
Is it over?
As the thought drifted through her mind, a strange sense of dissonance washed over her. The room was unnervingly quiet.
Thalia struggled to lift her heavy eyelids. Through her unfocused vision, she saw the nape of a man’s neck, the veins standing out tautly. With trembling hands, she tugged at the clothes of the man who seemed preoccupied with something else.
“Barkas... why...”
Barkas finally looked at her. Thalia strained to see his expression, but she couldn’t find her focus. Staring desperately at the man who looked like a hazy ghost, she managed to force out the rest of her question.
“Why... isn’t the baby... crying?”
“...”
“Barkas, why is the baby...”
He didn’t answer.
Have I gone deaf?
She scanned the room with confused eyes. The maids were gathered in one spot, wrapping something in swaddling clothes. She tried to push herself up to see, but Barkas tightened his hold on her.
“You mustn’t move yet.”
His voice was rougher than she had ever heard it.
Thalia blinked blankly. Barkas gripped her head with a cold, vein-ridged hand, as if to prevent her from turning away. His voice was a terrifyingly low growl.
“Has the bleeding stopped?”
“Not... not yet.”
“Then why are you standing there instead of doing something?”
“...Regrettably, there is nothing more we can do.”
Thalia felt the body surrounding her turn as hard as stone. She could tell he was consumed by a murderous rage, though she couldn’t quite grasp the reason.
A voice laced with a metallic rasp thundered above her head. “Where is the High Priest? What is he doing? Bring him here this instant!”
“T-that is an impossible demand! No male priest may ever enter the birthing chamber. It is strictly forbidden for them to witness a woman in her primal state—”
The sound of something shattering echoed through the room. Thalia fought to hold onto her fading consciousness. It took a moment for her to realize he had thrown something.
“Go and tell him now. If he doesn’t run here this second to treat my wife, I will lock them all in the chapel and burn the whole place to the ground.”
Only then did Thalia realize her situation was dire enough to require such measures. Yet, she felt no fear. It was as if all her senses had been numbed. Staring blankly at Barkas’s rigid jawline, Thalia was driven by a powerful impulse and tugged at his sleeve.
“Barkas... I’m fine... so... our baby...” She moved her lips with great effort, not even fully understanding what she was saying. “Our baby... help our baby.”
Barkas did not respond.
She knew he was looking at her, but she still couldn’t make out his expression. Tears welled up continuously.
“You... you promised me...”
She glared at him as if accusing him of negligence, then turned her gaze again to search for the child. But Barkas held her head so tightly she couldn’t budge. She wanted to push him away with all her might, but her arms felt like lead. Thalia trembled, overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness.
“It’s all right. Nothing is going to happen,” the man whispered, pressing his cold lips to her temple and hugging her upper body so tightly it hurt.
Liar.
Thalia murmured internally. It was all a lie. Nothing was all right. And nothing would be all right ever again.
She could feel her body growing colder and colder. It felt as if she were slowly sinking into icy water. She was so cold, and so very tired.
How did things end up like this?
A faint question flickered through her mind as it emptied into white space. Surely, she had been happy just this afternoon. Yes. It had been agonizing and difficult, but she had been happy. She didn’t think she had ever been that happy in her entire life.
She tried to remember what had made her so joyful. Then, squeezing out the last of her strength, she pleaded.
“Barkas... the baby... give it to me.”
Her voice sounded as faint as a dying candle flame, even to her own ears. Fearing he wouldn’t hear her, she lifted a finger that felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and tugged at his cold coat.
“I... I want to hold it. My baby...”
Barkas remained motionless, clutching her to him.
In that moment, resentment filled her to the very marrow of her bones. If she could have, she would have screamed.
You said you’d give me whatever I wanted. Why aren’t you keeping your promise?
She let out a sobbing breath. “I’m... I’m begging you. Please...”
She felt the surroundings grow chaotic. However, every sound felt muffled, as if thick walls were closing in from all sides. Barkas’s head snapped around. She heard him shouting something, but she couldn’t understand the words. Thalia soon lost all her strength and her limbs went limp.
Her vision grew darker. She couldn’t even tell if her eyes were open or closed.
Will I never wake up again?
If so, she wanted to see him one last time. Thalia tried desperately to focus her eyes, but all she could see was pitch-black darkness. Tears continued to flow. She felt as if she might drown in them.
Thalia opened her mouth to say something, but even that wouldn’t work as she wished. Only after swallowing a shattered breath did she realize that the word she couldn’t force out was his name.
With that sorrowful realization, she sank away, as if plunging into a cold, dark abyss.
* * *
The drizzling rain that had been falling since dawn finally began to let up around noon.
Leaning against the battlement and wetting his lips with wine, Lucas let out a heavy sigh as he spotted three or four women laying flowers at a small, new grave that had appeared a few days ago.
The child, who had left its mother half-dead to enter the world, had been buried in the damp earth without ever taking its first breath. It was only after the Grand Duchess, who had been hovering between life and death, showed signs of improvement that a modest funeral rite was held for the stillborn babe.