Chapter 119
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 119
“Are you truly certain you won’t regret this?”
Barkas’s voice was tight, strained with a tension he couldn’t hide. Thalia nodded instantly, terrified that even a flicker of hesitation would cause him to turn and walk out the door.
The man stared at her for a long moment, his gaze sharp and searching, before he finally reached out. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her up from her seat. Thalia instinctively clutched at his clothes.
With a sharp pop, two gold buttons that had been precariously clinging to his chest tore free and skittered across the floor.
While her eyes reflexively followed them, she felt the soft give of the sheets beneath her.
Thalia looked up at him, her eyes clouded with a thick layer of anxiety. Having laid her on the bed, Barkas stripped off his half-open shirt and cast it aside. The flickering candlelight danced greedily over his sculpted, marble-like torso.
For a moment, her heart gave a frantic, violent thud.
Thalia hurriedly lowered her gaze. Barkas cupped her cheeks with both hands, forcing her to lift her head and look at him.
“It is not too late. If you tell me to leave, I will go quietly.”
It was a question that tore through the last shred of her pride. Thalia forced strength into her reddened eyes and glared at him.
“My decision hasn’t changed.”
So please, stop asking.
She swallowed the plea rising in her throat just as his hand slid down her neck. Thalia stiffened.
Fixing her with a cold, testing stare, Barkas felt over her sweat-dampened skin before reaching for the topmost button of her bodice. He lingered there for a long time, as if giving her one final chance to refuse, before slowly undoing the loop.
As the front of her dress fell open, the swell of her cleavage was revealed.
His blue eyes, darker than usual, dropped to the sight. Thalia felt as though her heart might hammer right through her ribs and burst from her chest. Biting her lip in shame, she reflexively grabbed his wrist when his hand moved down to the second button.
“The lights… put them all out.”
He remained still, simply looking down at her. His gaze felt as though it were peering directly into her shrunken, withered soul, prompting Thalia to raise her voice.
“Did you not hear me?”
Only then did Barkas stand and extinguish the candles scattered throughout the room. As deep shadows fell, his silhouette grew faint. However, it wasn’t as dark as she wanted. She gestured toward the fireplace with her chin.
“That, too.”
After watching her in silence, the man approached the hearth and lowered the cover. Finally, a thick, heavy darkness consumed the room. Thalia took a deep breath and squeezed out a suppressed voice.
“Now… come here.”
But no sound of movement followed. Thalia scanned the darkness with dilated pupils, her lips trembling piteously.
“Barkas… wh-where are you?”
As the silence stretched on, the sense of suffocation intensified. Did he leave me here and disappear?
Just as she began to pant in despair, one side of the bed dipped low. Catching sight of his shadow, Thalia reached out frantically.
She had no strength left for dignity. She wrapped her arms around his long, tense neck and inhaled his scent as if it were oxygen. She had to confirm that she wasn’t left alone in this abyss—that he was truly there with her.
“Hold me. Right now.”
Once her tremors finally subsided, she managed to choke out the words against his ear. The man, who had been as rigid as stone, laid her back down on the bed. Thalia looked up at the black shadow looming over her with trembling eyes. A hand, startlingly hot, settled onto her ice-cold skin.
She flinched, tucking her chin as he gripped the front of her dress, and felt the hem of her skirt being pushed up past her waist. Realizing he was trying to undress her, Thalia cried out hysterically.
“N-no! Don’t take it off!”
The dark shadow above her froze instantly. Thalia grabbed his wrist and added urgently, “Just do it with my clothes on.”
“…Are you telling me to ravish you?”
His husky voice vibrated near her ear. Thalia barely swallowed the sob threatening to break through her throat.
“It’s not ravishment. It’s just… this is just how I want it.”
She felt as though she couldn’t endure his touch unless she remained hidden within the folds of her heavy dress. Swallowing the rest of her words, she pulled his shoulders down with all her might. After a moment of hesitation, Barkas let out a ragged breath and moved over her.
Soon, his tongue forced its way between her lips. As she reflexively met the kiss, his hot breath filled her lungs. It felt like inhaling fire. Swept up in the dizzying heat, she pulled his neck closer, only to feel a large hand wedge itself between her thighs.
Thalia hurriedly spread her knees, terrified that his hand might touch her legs. Long, firm fingers settled directly onto her sensitive core. Instantly, an unexpected wave of revulsion surged up her spine. Thalia frantically pushed his tongue away and shook her head.
“I-I don’t like that. Don’t.”
“If I don’t prepare you, you might get hurt,” he whispered soothingly against her ear.
Thalia shook her head even more violently. “I-it’s fine, just do it.”
“…Not until you are ready.”
Barkas murmured low against her ear and began to move his fingers slowly. Thalia’s stomach spasmed as she dug her nails into his marble-hard shoulders. Every pore in her body seemed to open as cold sweat poured down her skin.
It was horrific to think he was touching the filthiest part of her. In truth, she didn’t want him to know that such an ugly place even existed on her body. Trembling, Thalia soon lost her patience and urged him hoarsely.
“I-it’s enough. It’s fine now… just do it.”
“Not yet.”
“I don’t… want to wait anymore. Please, just do it.”
If this dragged on any longer, she felt she might lose her grip on consciousness. Just as she was about to say more, she felt the solid muscles of his body contract all at once. A moment later, she heard the sound of a belt being unbuckled, and then his weight settled firmly between her thighs. Thalia tensed her entire body like a drawn bowstring.
A heavy pressure built below. Instinctively, she tried to pull her hips back, but the pressure only grew more intense. As the sensation of being crushed filled her abdomen, her mouth fell open. No scream came out. Like a fish pulled onto dry land, she gasped silently, rolling his name on the tip of her tongue.
Barkas. Barkas. Barkas.
As she repeated his name over and over, like a drowning person clutching at straws, he pushed deeper. The sensation of her body being torn apart finally forced a ragged sob from her throat. Hearing the sound, Barkas finally stopped his advance.
Her eyes, now adjusted to the dark, caught a faint glimpse of his face—he looked as though he were enduring something terrible.
In that moment, a pain greater than any physical agony weighed down on her chest. That expression, as if he were enduring a penance, hurt a hundred times more than the act of him stirring her insides. Thalia bit her lip, suppressing the cries tangled in her throat.
Please, don’t scowl.
Don’t look like you hate this so much.
She swallowed the words circling in her mouth as the man, his gaze pale and haunted, began to slowly withdraw. Realizing he was trying to stop, Thalia clung to his back desperately.
“No. Don’t stop here.”
There was no need to feel miserable. No need to suffer. She was simply using him for her own ends. Repeating this to herself, Thalia braved the pain and lifted her hips.
The loosened connection deepened, and their sweat-slicked bodies became one. Simultaneously, a sound like the grinding of teeth escaped him, followed by a blunt, heavy rhythm.
Thalia desperately endured his movements. Her lower abdomen grew increasingly hot, as if she were harboring a piece of red-hot iron. It was so strange—that the body of a man who was usually as cold as ice could be this hot.
Gasping for air as she held onto his sturdy, sweat-slicked frame, Thalia absentmindedly raked her nails down the hard muscles of his back. Her vision blurred and shook with the quickening pace.
Like a shipwrecked skiff being tossed by a violent current, she was pushed further and further until the increasingly frantic movements finally reached their end.