The Weight of a Gaze
“What do you mean?”
Shin-wol tilted his head with a languid smile.
[You’ve already experienced it.]
Experienced it? Yeo-won looked at him in confusion, but Shin-wol simply continued to smile like a carved statue and offered no further explanation.
At the meaningful remark, Yeo-won searched her memory.
Since he said she had already gone through it, it must have happened after meeting him. Something she might regret?
What on earth…
“Ah.”
A short gasp escaped her as something flashed through her mind. It spread through her thoughts like a black dot staining white paper.
Her complexion darkened in an instant, and terror flooded her bright brown eyes.
That day.
It was different from any ghost she had ever encountered. The one that had pushed her from behind at the crosswalk, possessed a stranger, and followed her all the way home.
Hik, heehee, heeheehee!
Just recalling it made that spine-chilling laughter echo in her ears again.
She shook her head violently to drive the memory away, but it only grew clearer, sharper.
The damp, cold air. The metallic stench that stung her nose. The grotesque laughter from behind and the murderous aura that felt like it would peel the skin from her flesh.
It all resurfaced so vividly it was as if it were happening right before her eyes. Overwhelmed by the tidal wave of that day’s memories, Yeo-won unconsciously squeezed her eyes shut.
It’s cold…
The sensation of blood draining from her entire body made her curl into herself, arms wrapped protectively around her body as she hunched down.
Her small back trembled pitifully.
Shin-wol watched her in silence, the corners of his lips curving upward in satisfaction.
Yeo-won didn’t see it. The moment she recalled that day, his fingers had twitched ever so slightly.
In response to that minute gesture, the temperature in the room shifted, and the black mist rising from behind him enveloped her completely.
Deciding that was enough, Shin-wol murmured to himself and reached out toward her.
His elegant fingers brushed lightly against the nape of her neck. At the faint stimulation, Yeo-won’s eyes flew open. Her brown pupils were half-glazed.
[Breathe.]
The command-like words brought focus back to her hazy gaze.
[You need to breathe.]
Following his words, Yeo-won drew in a deep breath. Only after the fresh air swept through her lungs did she realize she had stopped breathing entirely.
“Haa…”
She exhaled shakily and repeatedly squeezed her eyes shut and open, trying to clear her foggy mind.
Her breath still felt constricted, as if someone were choking her. When she struck her chest in distress, Shin-wol’s hand slid down the back of her neck once more.
Strangely, the suffocating pressure vanished, and breathing became much easier.
It was thanks to the warm breeze he had summoned with his sorcery.
[Since you cannot control your spiritual energy, you are no different from a feast already laid out for the ghosts.]
Shin-wol’s face drew closer. She tried to lean back from his approaching features, but his hand held the back of her head firmly in place.
[The outside world is dangerous for you. But by my side, you are safe.]
His voice was a sweet tenor that seemed capable of melting ears. He pressed their foreheads together with a smile so beautiful it could stop a heart.
[Isn’t that right?]
Even though the question carried a strange pressure, Yeo-won nearly nodded without thinking.
They were so close their breaths mingled. Looking into his eyes, the entire world turned golden.
His irises were a pure, gem-like yellow so luminous they seemed translucent.
Meeting his gaze made her feel like a moth willingly throwing itself into a blazing flame.
Just before she was completely consumed by that abyss, a single flower petal drifted into the room and snapped her back to her senses.
Yeo-won quickly turned her head away and spoke in a rush.
“…I can’t stay here forever. There are things I haven’t finished. And could you please move back a little while we talk?”
She carefully pushed against his chest. The way he touched her so naturally, like flowing water, left her heart no room to recover.
It was far from the cute fluttering one might feel from liking someone.
It was the overwhelming beauty that stole her breath away.
His unattainable appearance was enough to scatter a person’s reason like dust.
For a moment she worried he might not let go again, but contrary to her fears, Shin-wol obediently pulled away.
[Work, you say.]
Instead, a low voice rang out above her head.
[It must be more important than your life.]
She could tell without looking at his face. The mockery and ridicule woven into his words painted his expression clearly.
When Yeo-won slowly lifted her head, Shin-wol was smiling as if nothing had happened. Only a faint chill lingered in that smile.
“That’s…”
Not true. She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence.
She knew it too. What could possibly be more important than life?
Yeo-won chewed her lip.
The work had been an excuse. The real reason was the suspicion his behavior had stirred. He could have shown her the outside world with the water mirror, and he had even said she would be safe by his side. That only made her more doubtful.
Why did he want her beside him so badly?
Since her grandmother’s life was involved, she couldn’t refuse to give him her spiritual energy anyway. And with the curse he had placed on her, betrayal wasn’t even an option.
Yeo-won absently touched the area around her neck.
Anyone could say “stay by my side,” but when Shin-wol said it, the words carried a completely different weight.
There was no time limit to his words. And he was not someone who lived in the same flow of time as her.
If she casually agreed, she might truly never leave this place for the rest of her life.
As worry deepened on her face, he, who had been quietly watching, let out a soft chuckle.
[You’re worried I might lock you up.]
Yeo-won stared at him as if she had been shot. He spoke of something so terrifying as if it were nothing.
[That wouldn’t be so bad either.]
At his casual addition, her face turned deathly pale. Yet he laughed as if the situation amused him and opened his palm.
Her gaze naturally followed his hand. Perhaps it was his overwhelming presence; even the smallest movement from him had the power to capture attention.
[If you wish to go, then go. I won’t stop you.]
As he spoke, a turquoise light gathered in his palm and scattered in the blink of an eye.
In its place lay several bright red wild strawberries, neatly arranged.
“Ah.”
“Ah?”
When she echoed his sound, one of the strawberries slipped neatly into her open mouth.
She bit down reflexively. The tiny seeds burst, spreading a sweet-tart flavor across her tongue.
[Cheong-sil brought them.]
Yeo-won swallowed the strawberry she had been chewing and nodded.
Now she understood why it felt familiar. It was one of the fruits Cheong-sil used to bring her.
At that moment, she remembered the bean pouch still sleeping in her pocket.
“Ah!”
With a startled cry, she spoke urgently.
“I left in such a hurry that I didn’t even tell Cheong-sil. What should I do? He’ll probably be angry that I tricked him and ran off.”
Her brows furrowed with worry as she spoke. Shin-wol let out a small, dry laugh.
[What else? He must be punished.]
“No! I’m the one who deceived him. So please don’t scold him.”
In her panic, she grabbed his arm.
Yet Shin-wol’s eyes remained icy cold. From the way he treated Cheong-sil, she knew his idea of punishment was far from the cute scolding she imagined.
It had been Shin-wol’s order, but Cheong-sil had still tried his best to accommodate her for three whole days.
Even though he couldn’t understand human meals, he had gone out every day to gather food until his pure white feet turned pitch black. She couldn’t simply pretend not to notice him being punished.
How had she grown so attached after only a few days together?
Yeo-won clutched the hem of Shin-wol’s clothes tightly and spoke carefully.
“I was the one who insisted on going outside. Cheong-sil said no, but I threatened him. He really didn’t do anything wrong.”
She knew it was a ridiculous excuse, but it was the best she could do.
Shin-wol gave no reply. In the brief silence, Yeo-won had no choice but to wait, suppressing her anxiety.
What would he say? Would he laugh at her for being nosy? Had she overstepped too much?
When she finally glanced up at him, he was resting his chin on his arm with an unreadable expression.
A face difficult to describe. It seemed something displeased him, yet he didn’t look entirely angry either.
His gaze was fixed on the arm she had grabbed. She had unconsciously gripped it so tightly that the fabric was wrinkled. Yeo-won quickly released him and studied his reaction.
“Ah, I’m sorry.”
He looked at his crumpled clothes for a moment, then turned his eyes back to her.
[You only approach others when you’re trying to protect them.]
His answer was completely different from what she had expected. Yeo-won froze in shock.
What did he mean?
She could only blink helplessly. Shin-wol smiled faintly and poked her forehead.
[I shall hope this time it proves useful.]
With those final words, her consciousness blurred rapidly, and her vision was completely cut off.
*
When she opened her eyes again, the first thing she saw was a familiar LED light fixture.
The brightness stung, so she covered her eyes with the back of her hand.
She stared at the light filtering through her fingers, blinking slowly, then suddenly sat up in bed as if springing to her feet.
“What? This is really my house.”
The small bookshelf in front of her, the old shelf holding her grandfather’s photograph.
It was unmistakably her own home.
The LED wall clock on the wall had just changed from 10:13 to 10:14. Yeo-won stared blankly at the date displayed above it.
It was February 3rd.
The day she had been chased by that ghost and run home had been February 2nd, around eleven o’clock.
That meant everything that had happened with Shin-wol had only taken half a day in the real world.
Yeo-won let out a hollow laugh.
It was beyond unbelievable. She felt completely detached from reality.
Maybe it really had been a dream after all.
She could have lucid dreams. Why couldn’t she have one that felt this real?
“Or maybe I really was possessed by a fox…”
Even as she said it, the absurdity made her laugh. At the same time, she felt something foreign in the pocket of her hoodie.
When she reached inside, she felt something round and firm.
The unpleasant texture made her flinch.
Gathering her courage, she pulled it out. In the end, she burst into laughter.
“Yeah, of course it wasn’t a dream.”
What she took from her pocket was a perfectly ripe, bright red wild strawberry.