A Moment of Respite (23)
The rough stone floor bit into my bare feet, stinging sharply with every step. When I glanced back, a long trail of crimson footprints stretched behind me, marking the path I’d run. I had no idea how far I’d gone. Stepping outside, the darkened sky blurred my sense of time. I didn’t know what hour it was, or even where I was, but getting as far away from that place as possible was all that mattered.
“...Haa.”
Was this distance enough? I collapsed onto an empty park bench and tried to catch my breath. Even while fleeing, I’d looked back multiple times, but there was no sign of anyone chasing me. It felt strange. If they were going to let me go this easily, why had they bothered to drag me there in the first place?
Unease crept over me, but I pushed the thought away. Right now, getting home was the priority.
“...”
I’d thrown on whatever clothes were closest in my rush to escape, and now I looked like a complete mess. I wasn’t even wearing underwear, so the fabric of my outer layer kept brushing against my nipples, sending uncomfortable tingles through me. This was hardly the time…!!
My pants had been practically torn off by the monster wearing Chae-yun’s face, leaving them in ragged tatters that barely functioned as clothing anymore. I glanced around nervously, checking for any signs of people. Confirming I was alone, I let out a sigh of relief and rubbed my chest—only to feel ridiculous at my own actions. A hollow laugh escaped me.
But even as I laughed, a sharp pain stabbed through my heart.
“...Chae-yun…”
I didn’t want to think about it anymore. Who would believe this insane story? A monster that steals human bodies? Even I, who had seen it with my own eyes, could barely accept it. No—I didn’t want to accept it.
“...”
I clenched the fist resting on my knee until my knuckles turned white. What good would thinking about any of this do right now? I wiped away the tears that had somehow begun streaming down my cheeks, waited until the pain in my feet had dulled a little, and forced myself to start walking again.
Once I left the park, the bustle of the city finally surrounded me. The noise from all directions made my head throb.
“...Excuse me, are you okay?”
“...!”
A man who had been walking along the street hesitated before approaching me, clearly concerned about my state. I couldn’t trust anyone.
“...I’m fine.”
I brushed off his hand and kept walking. I knew perfectly well that I shouldn’t refuse help in a situation like this. Still, the mere thought of a man’s touch made memories of everything Im Chan-woo had done to me flood my mind, and nausea rose in my throat before I could stop it.
I staggered out of the dark park somehow. I had managed to reach the outside, but the distance to home seemed far greater than I’d imagined. The overwhelming prospect of having to walk all that way drained what little strength I had left.
“...That’s…”
A public phone booth stood before me. I hadn’t realized those still existed these days. Leaning against the wall, I made my way over and managed to grab the receiver. The only phone number I had ever bothered to memorize—Hong’s Boxing Gym—came to mind. I dialed it, wedged the receiver between my shoulder and ear, and sank down inside the booth, exhausted from fatigue and stress, listening to the ringing tone.
Tu-ru-ru. Tu-ru-ru.
The longer the ringing continued, the more my anxiety grew. Was the gym already closed for the day? Just as that worry threatened to consume me, a human voice—not the emotionless mechanical tone—finally answered.
“...Hello?”
“Dad? It’s me, Su-a. I’m—”
“Huh? Su-a? Where have you been all this time?”
It was finally a real person’s voice, but not the one I had wanted to hear. It belonged to one of the regulars at the gym, a man close to my father.
“...Ah, sir? Where’s my dad?”
“Your father? He always disappears around this time. But why do you sound like that? Is something wrong?”
“Ah, no… Then what about Hong Su-ho? What’s he doing right now?”
“Su-ho? He’s here right now.”
“Put him on the phone.”
“Sure, whatever. You two are something else.”
Dad was absent. I had no choice but to meet Su-ho and get home somehow…
“...Hey, did you two fight again? If you have something to say, just tell me…”
“...What?”
That bastard Hong Su-ho…
“...Then tell him to bring my clothes and come to where I say. I’m near…”
I looked around and gave him the name of a large nearby supermarket. The man offered some half-hearted advice—You’re both adults now, so make up and sort things out—before hanging up.
“...”
It was cold. Maybe because my clothes were torn and the wind kept slipping through, or perhaps for some other reason, the chill I normally never felt now sank deep into my bones. I stayed huddled inside the phone booth, trembling violently.
I’m so lonely.
I couldn’t remember exactly when I first realized I was different from others. Probably around middle school. Before then, everything had felt fine. I wasn’t good at studying, but thanks to my father who had run the gym even before I was born, I naturally started boxing. It suited me surprisingly well, and unlike studying, the more I practiced, the better the results. It was genuinely fun.
Hong Su-ho, my little brother. Our relationship wasn’t particularly good or bad. We were just an ordinary pair of siblings—bickering sometimes, but never truly hurting each other’s feelings.
The first real crack probably came with Mom’s death. I was in middle school, Su-ho in elementary, when she passed away from illness. Dad had been absent the whole time, and I think that’s when I started to resent him a little.
With Mom gone and Dad nowhere to be found, I had no room to breathe. That was when a boy from my class—someone I didn’t even know—confessed to me. I turned him down. To be precise, I completely ignored him. Romance? At that time, no one could even enter my mind.
After that, rumors started spreading at school that I was selling my body. I never bothered to find out who started them. Whether it was the boy I rejected, or some petty revenge from a girl who liked him, it didn’t matter to me. I didn’t care.
But when the rumors grew loud enough to reach the teachers, Dad came to school. He bowed to the teacher and said firmly, “My daughter is not that kind of girl.” Then he took me home, and we skipped both training and school for the rest of the day.
I was furious with him. I hadn’t been struggling. I hadn’t asked for help. It was nothing more than childish teasing. I could endure it. But what about Mom? While she had been suffering so terribly, where had he been? And now he showed up acting like some responsible parent? Did he think I would thank him? Did he think it would make him look cool?
The next day, I went to school, found the boy who had confessed to me, and beat him until he couldn’t stand. It didn’t matter if he was the one who spread the rumor or not.
Just one day after being called in, Dad had to return to school again. He bowed and apologized to the teacher and the boy’s parents, and we skipped school that day too. He never even scolded me.
After that, time passed without any major incidents. I graduated middle school, went through high school without making any friends, quietly finished classes, and went straight home to train. I even competed in tournaments.
Despite having no friends, my face was plastered across the school newspaper: Boxing Genius, or something like that. Because of it, a few kids my age tried talking to me, but until the day I graduated, I always ate lunch alone.
I didn’t go to college. I just kept training. While I spent my days like that, my once-tiny little brother grew up and went off to university. I thought it had nothing to do with me and focused on preparing for competitions. Then one day, he brought his girlfriend to the gym.
Brought his girlfriend to the gym? I almost laughed out loud at how ridiculous it was, but I held it in and focused on my own training.
Still, the girl seemed nice. Every time she came, she brought gifts for Dad, and she got along with Su-ho without any awkwardness. She was friendly with everyone, and she kept approaching me, bothering me over and over.
Hello.
What’s your name?
Um, you’re Su-ho oppa’s older sister, right? Can I call you unnie?
At first, I chased her away because she was annoying. But like a mosquito that refused to give up on drawing blood, she kept coming back. Before I knew it, I was naturally talking with her.
Even I was surprised. Throughout my school years and even as an adult, I had barely held long conversations with anyone. Yet when I talked with her, the three hours of training felt like thirty minutes.
When Su-ho said she was too busy with work to visit that day, Dad looked disappointed and lowered his head. I felt the same disappointment. I felt disappointed? I wanted to see her?
Once I noticed this strange feeling, my face would burn every time I met Chae-yun after that. It was the first flutter of excitement I had ever felt in my life.
I wasn’t an idiot. I knew immediately what that feeling was. And the moment I realized it, I also understood a cruel truth.
I was different from others.
And I knew in my head that I shouldn’t harbor these feelings. No matter what, she was my brother’s girlfriend. I couldn’t do this. I knew it was wrong.
But while my head understood, my heart refused to listen. I wanted to talk with Chae-yun more. I wanted to hold her hand. My ideals and my reason were locked in a tug-of-war, and I couldn’t focus on training at all. I had become a girl my age who had fallen hopelessly in love for the first time, waiting only for Chae-yun.
One day, while half-heartedly tapping a sandbag that wouldn’t even budge, I wondered when she would come. But she didn’t. Not the next day, or the day after, or the next week, or the next month. Then I heard that Su-ho and she had broken up.
It had been a one-sided breakup notice, he said. Some time later, I also heard that she had started seeing another man.
“....”
“Noona.”
“...I just dozed off for a second… Su-ho.”
How long had it been since I last called his name? At the awkwardness in my own voice, I rubbed my bleary eyes and looked up at my brother who had called me.
Su-ho said nothing. He simply pushed a carrier bag in front of me.
“...What the hell? I told you to bring clothes, why did you bring all this luggage…”
“...Take this and get out.”
“...Huh…?”
“Don’t appear in front of us again. Noona.”