Midnight Sausage Heist and the Warm Embrace After
The time was the dead of night, 3 a.m., when everyone else in the palace had long since fallen into deep, dreamless sleep.
“Uuuu… our Blanc… it’s so warm.”
In her sleep, Princess Kailian stirred and wrapped her arm tightly around my waist, pulling me close. *Ouch, butler, that’s painful. I can feel her strength; my waist is already sore from how fiercely she’s gripping me.*
If this had been any other night, the warmth would have lulled me straight back into slumber. But tonight the stars were different.
My stomach was issuing a loud, urgent warning that demanded to be heard.
*Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…*
A thunderclap echoed inside my belly. The digestion power of a growing White Tiger cub was on par with a black hole.
The tenderloin steak I’d devoured at dinner had vanished from my stomach so long ago that not even a speck remained.
My digestive tract was howling at full volume: *Give me food right now or I’m going on strike!*
Only one thing occupied my mind.
The deepest shelf in the kitchen storage, where the head chef had hidden a special handmade sausage for tomorrow’s breakfast. The moment I pictured the thick, bouncy casing and the juicy, savory smoke that would burst out when I bit into it, my drool detonated.
“Kyaaah~”
Tonight I absolutely had to sneak some nighttime snacks.
I was still trapped between Kailian’s arms and her chest. I planted my hind legs, curled my hips, and wiggled sideways, carving out the tiniest gap.
*Squish… squish…*
Like a giant mochi just about to escape a kneading machine or a plump caterpillar punching through its cocoon, I endured the pressure and pushed myself forward inch by inch.
*Whoosh!*
My back paw pressed firmly into her abs. The moment her arm loosened, I slipped my head free, then my shoulders, and finally—after the hardest part—my belly, wriggling out like a sausage through a roller.
“Uuu~”
Kailian stirred and pawed at empty air. I quietly landed on the carpet. My jelly paws absorbed every sound.
*Krung.*
My jelly paws were still the best.
I shook my fur with a quick flick, raised my tail, jumped, grabbed the doorknob with my mouth, and gently turned the door handle with my head. I stepped into the hallway.
The corridor was dark. I pressed myself flat against the wall and crawled low, keeping my body as low as possible so I wouldn’t be seen.
There—two guards on patrol were coming straight toward me.
*Danger.*
I hurled myself behind a massive porcelain vase in the hallway. I molded my body to the curve of the vase, held my breath, and vanished from their sight.
*Perfect.* If they couldn’t see me, I couldn’t see them.
This was the classic ostrich strategy. Right now I wasn’t a tiger. I was expensive porcelain.
*Tap… tap…*
Footsteps approached. Then they stopped right in front of the vase.
Had they spotted me?
“… …”
“… ?”
In the silence my heart hammered. Had they noticed? My tail tip twitched nervously.
“Hey… wait a second. Behind that pot… is that a white fluffy thing? Is that the Divine Beast’s rear? The stripes are so clear…”
The guard beside him kicked his friend’s shin in panic. He grabbed the clueless man’s collar and whispered urgently.
“Ow!”
“Shut up! If we act like we know him, we might wound the Divine Beast’s pride. Just pretend you didn’t see and keep walking.”
“Ayaa… really?”
“If the Divine Beast is upset because we saw and he’s in a bad mood tomorrow, you’re demoted. Violation of protocol.”
What were they whispering about?
I couldn’t understand every word, but it probably wasn’t anything important.
*Hmph!* “This sector is clear!”
“Yeah, not even a speck of dust, let alone a single hair. Let’s move.”
The two guards vanished in record time, their backs and shoulders bobbing as they walked.
*Catch a cold?*
*Heh heh, you idiots.*
I slipped out from behind the vase and let out a loud fart. I’d missed a living thing right under my nose. I’d have to ask Crown Prince Demian to train the palace guards properly later.
Finally I reached the kitchen. I pushed open the massive door with my front paws. The dark kitchen was silent.
I immediately dashed to the storage room, wedged my head into the gap, and pushed. The door creaked open. A blast of icy cold air and the radiant gleam of the sausage greeted me.
Found it. My beloved. My heroine.
I didn’t hesitate—I snatched one whole sausage and stuffed it into my mouth. It was cold, but the savory smoke stung my nostrils.
This primal meat flavor! It was exactly what my early-morning hunger needed. Now I could hold it in my mouth and slip under the table to enjoy it in secret!
*Clang!*
Suddenly the kitchen lights blazed on as bright as day.
“…!”
I froze stone-cold, sausage still in my mouth. My pupils spun like I’d been struck by an earthquake.
At the kitchen entrance stood Kailian with her arms crossed and Saintess Lina holding a candlestick in one hand. Their long shadows swallowed me whole.
I had summoned the Grim Reaper all by myself.
“Blanc.”
“Kyuuu~…”
Kailian’s voice was ice-cold.
“What have you been sneaking off to do?”
“Aaah… Divine Beast…”
Lina shook her head in disbelief and covered her mouth.
“Eating meat secretly at dawn… like a thief cat…”
*Uuu…*
But… I was just hungry…?
I stood there, unable to spit or swallow the sausage, frozen in perfect indecision.
*What the heck? My plan was flawless. Did they catch my scent?*
“Spit it out. Right now.”
Kailian strode toward me with a frigid expression.
“Blanc! Do you know what time it is? Three in the morning! Eating greasy food at this hour will ruin your stomach! And how can you just eat it cold like that? What if you get a stomachache!”
Kailian grabbed my cheek and stretched it out.
“Kyuaaaaaang…!”
It hurts!
“Yes! And sneaking and stealing is a bad habit! The Divine Beast could simply demand it proudly, yet you choose to steal? If the Saintess finds out, you’ll faint on the spot!”
Lina piled on the scolding from the side.
I was secretly a little hurt. *Hmph… I’m starving and the kitchen storage is about to explode because of me, yet this is called a heinous crime?* I dropped the sausage onto the floor, stared at the ground, and looked pitifully pitiful.
“Kyuaaaa~…”
Now I’m going to make them breakfast bread in the morning and play with you guys all the time… I’m overcompensating for my salary, aren’t I?
I hung my head low and forced the saddest, most pitiful face possible.
Wet, sparkling blue eyes. Drooping ears. A limp tail. Seeing the White Tiger Cub crying, both Kailian and Lina turned their heads away, cheeks flushed red in silence.
“… …”
“… …”
The silence stretched. I could feel two hearts softening at my pitiful, defeated look.
*Grrrr…*
At that exact moment my stomach roared again. It wasn’t my stomach.
*Grrrooo~ grrrooo~*
Immediately after, Kailian’s belly and Lina’s belly answered with thunderous grumbles. An awkward silence fell between the three of us.
*Hey… did you guys just fart?*
“…… *huff*.”
“…… ……”
You guys are embarrassed too?
Kailian coughed awkwardly and looked away.
*Hrmph.* “Well… actually, I woke up from a nap and I’m a little hungry too. The evening training was pretty tough. Tactical energy replenishment required.”
Lina covered her own belly, face red.
“I-I also… I prayed too passionately during the early morning, so my divine power was depleted… Goddess, forgive the hunger of the flesh.”
*Kyaaah~*
Only when it was like this did I feel it most strongly.
We looked into each other’s eyes. The earlier stern atmosphere had completely vanished. We were in the exact same predicament.
A powerful sense of empathy formed between three hungry souls.
The eyes of accomplices exchanged glances.
“Blanc. Sorry for scolding you. Being hungry isn’t a crime.”
Kailian grinned and picked up the fallen sausage, tossing it into the trash.
“But cold ones are out. That’s gross. You have to eat it properly. Right?”
“Completely agree! We can’t feed cold food to the Divine Beast! I’ll cook it hot and delicious for you!”
Lina happily pulled out a frying pan.
The atmosphere flipped in an instant—from scolding time to an early-morning secret snack party.
A short while later the Imperial Kitchen filled with the rich, savory aroma of frying oil.
Kailian chopped the sausage like she was dancing, making perfect cross-hatch cuts and browning them to a perfect golden crisp. Lina chopped vegetables with impressive strength, cracked eggs, and poured in plenty of cheese for a fluffy double-cheese scramble.
I sat on the chair at the table, chinned on my paws, tail wagging happily, waiting for the dishes to finish. The earlier scolding had already been forgotten.
“Ta-da! It’s done!”
A plate of steaming mixed sausage and double-cheese egg casserole was placed in front of me.
*Kraaaaaang!*
*This is it! This is the midnight snack!*
I blew on the hot sausage and took a huge bite. It burst with juicy meat and savory flavor.
Different from the cold sausage I’d planned to eat. Food had to touch real hands and real fire.
“Delicious?”
Kailian sat beside me and picked up a fork. Lina poured warm milk on the other side.
“Please eat as much as you like, Divine Beast. Today only, this is my special permission. You know it’s a secret, right?”
The three of us huddled together and ate in perfect silence.
*Kyaaah! Chomp, chomp.*
Nothing tasted better than sneaking snacks at dawn. The melting guilt mixed with the high-calorie flavor; we wore the happiest smiles in the world.
*Chomp… chomp…*
Before we knew it, the plates were spotless. No need to wash—perfectly clean. We patted our bulging bellies and slumped back into our chairs.
“Ahh… that was so good. Eating at night is the best. But… tomorrow my face is going to swell, right?”
“I can purify it with divine power.”
“Unlucky.”
Kailian scooped me up.
“Blanc, this is top-secret one-grade information. If the head chef finds out, our faces will be ruined. If word spreads that the princess and saintess and a divine beast raided the kitchen and stole sausages at night, our national dignity will suffer.”
*Krung.*
*Don’t worry. My mouth is heavy. It’s stuffed full of sausage.*
I raised my front paw and covered my mouth.
*Puhuhu~* “So adorable.”
“Hey. What did you just call our Blanc?!”
Lina laughed and planted a kiss on my cheek. A delicious cheese scent lingered on her lips.
We finished the cleanup perfectly and quietly returned to the bedroom.
On the way back through the hallway we bumped into those same guards again.
“Eh? Divine Beast… and Your Highness?”
The guards startled and tried to bow. Their eyes lingered for a second on my bulging belly and the sausage in my mouth.
Kailian pressed a finger to her lips.
“Secret inspection in progress. Pretend you saw nothing.”
“Yes! Understood!”
The guards nodded quickly, eyes sharp.
“Hey, did you see? The Divine Beast’s belly is all puffed up.”
“I saw. There’s ketchup on the corner of his mouth. Did he eat snacks?”
“Adorable. My heart almost exploded holding back laughter.”
The guards who had bowed laughed so hard their shoulders shook like crazy.
Back in bed, my stomach was full and my back was warm. Sleep crashed over me like a wave. Kailian pulled me into her arms again—this time without any discomfort.
“Sleep well, our pig.”
*Krung…*
Sleep well, pig butler.
I snuggled deep into her embrace and closed my eyes. Nighttime snacks were far more delicious when shared than when eaten alone.
