The Rainy Day Butler Syndrome Strikes
Slosh slosh.
The rain was pouring down outside, as if someone had punched a hole straight through the sky. By morning, thick sheets of rain hammered the palace grounds, and the damp, gray light seeped in through the heavy velvet curtains of the Princess’s Palace.
For a cat-type beast like me, a rainy day meant one thing.
Forced hibernation mode.
Low pressure made every joint feel heavy, brain cells went on strike, and everything just got annoying. That was exactly how I felt right now.
Even breathing was too much effort.
“......”
I lay sprawled across the softest velvet sofa in the palace parlor, my white tiger body melted into an elongated puddle.
My head hung limply over the armrest, tail dragging across the floor, and my torso curved into an undulating line like warm taffy. I barely moved, only the tiniest rise and fall of my chest betraying that I was still alive.
“Blanc? Time for food.”
Kailian walked over, silver hair tied up neatly, red eyes full of concern.
In her hands she carried a silver tray. When she lifted the lid, the rich aroma of freshly grilled top-tier beef tenderloin filled the room.
The sight should have made me leap for joy—juices glistening, medium-rare perfection.
But I only twitched my nose half a millimeter.
The smell was nice… but three meters to the table was an entire continent. Even standing up, walking, lowering my head, and swallowing would take forever.
I closed my eyes wearily.
“Kyu-uu… no thanks.”
“Blanc?”
Kailian’s voice trembled with worry.
“What’s wrong? It’s your favorite medium-rare beef!”
She brought the plate right to my nose. The smell assaulted my nostrils, but I only turned my head a tiny fraction.
Even turning my head was annoying.
Take it away. Laziness rules today, Butler.
“Oh my… he’s rejecting meat!”
Kailian gasped and stumbled back. To her, Blanc refusing meat was on the same level as the sun rising in the west or the Empire collapsing that day.
Ten minutes later the emergency strategy meeting was called.
“What’s wrong?! Doctor! Call the royal physician right now!”
Emperor Karsion burst in, cloak swirling, face ashen as if the country had already fallen.
“Your Majesty, calm down. First check the temperature…”
Demian rushed to my side and gently shook my front paw.
“Blanc! It’s me. Open your eyes!”
I flicked my ears irritably.
Aw, too noisy. Leave me alone to sleep.
“No fever…”
Demian placed a hand on my forehead and tilted his head.
“He’s just sagging. Zero muscle strength.”
He lifted my waist as proof. Normal beasts would thrash wildly. I simply let gravity pull me down.
Squish—
My body stretched like warm taffy, head and tail flat on the floor while my torso arched upward in a bizarre, fluid shape.
“Heek! Blanc is melting!”
Demian yelped and set me back down.
Plop.
I spread out exactly like a puddle again.
Liquid theory proven.
At that moment the door slammed open and someone burst in.
“Saintess!”
The elegant white priestess Lina slid through the rain, soaked to the bone, eyes blazing with fanatical light.
“I heard the divine beast is gravely ill and rushed over! Move aside!”
She pushed the Emperor and Crown Prince aside and slid straight to me on her knees.
She stared at my sagging form, clapped both hands over her mouth, and began to sob.
“Nooo… this can’t be…”
“This isn’t a simple illness! The divine beast is… battling the ‘grief of the heavens’!”
“……?”
The Emperor and his children stared at her in stunned silence.
Send the priestess to the hospital, someone.
“Look! His body doesn’t even twitch! He has rejected even the worldly desire of meat with iron resolve! The divine beast is sitting alone in meditation, carrying the entire Empire’s sorrow beneath this downpour!”
Lina’s interpretations always went far beyond the ordinary.
No, it’s just laziness.
“Blanc-nim! I shall devote my holy power to heal you!”
Lina began chanting, radiant light pouring from her palms and bathing my body in warmth.
Mmm… nice and warm. Like a heated blanket.
Feeling better, I closed my eyes and only the tip of my tail wagged slightly.
“Kyu-uuu… grrr…”
“You see?! He’s responding to my prayer! The divine beast is currently fighting evil spirits in the spiritual realm!”
Lina shouted triumphantly.
Even the Emperor’s eyes began to waver.
“Truly… there was such deep meaning. This father didn’t realize and simply pushed meat at him.”
“Still, Blanc is amazing. We just thought he was sleeping.”
Demian and Kailian fell under the saintess’s gaslighting too.
The mood suddenly turned solemn and grand.
I had become an overnight hero fighting a rain god.
Gurgle.
At that moment my stomach gave a deep, thunderous rumble that cut through the silence.
It sounded like thunder.
“……”
“……”
“……”
“……”
Four pairs of eyes snapped toward my belly at once.
Lina’s prayer cut off abruptly.
……Damn it. Embarrassing.
Head is lazy, but the stomach is brutally honest.
I was hungry. Breakfast was skipped, after all. Stomach acid was doing its happy dance.
But getting up, walking, lowering my head, chewing—way too much energy for a bad return.
I cracked one eye open and looked at Kailian.
Then flicked my tail against the floor once.
Hey. Butler.
“Huh? Blanc?”
Kailian asked carefully.
I pointed at the meat plate with my eyes, then opened my mouth a little.
“Oh~”
“……No way?”
Kailian’s eyebrows shot up.
She looked shocked, but soon speared a piece of meat with a fork and brought it to my lips.
“You… rejected meat because you were too lazy for spiritual battles? You want me to feed you directly?”
Correct answer.
A sharp Butler deserves praise.
I lay there without lifting my head and simply let her feed me.
Chomp. Mmmph~
Delicious. Even chewing was annoying, but the juices burst and I forgave her.
“Oh my…”
“Look at how lazy this is.”
The Emperor and Demian burst out laughing helplessly.
We thought we were watching a saint in deep meditation, but he just wanted to be waited on.
“Aaaah…! That’s it!”
Lina clasped her hands again in ecstasy.
“Even the sight of a mortal eating worldly food is so indolent and arrogant! This is the true dignity of a ruler!”
…She’s amazing. She really is. Always finds a positive spin.
“Here, please! I’ll cut it for you!”
Lina grabbed a knife—sorry, a sacred blade—and lunged.
With holy power she sliced the meat into perfect bite-sized pieces.
“The saintess is cutting meat!”
“Fanatics can’t be stopped.”
The Emperor and Demian clicked their tongues, but to me it was the best service ever.
“Yeah yeah, our little guy was too lazy to move a paw because it was raining, huh?”
Kailian pouted but kept feeding me bites.
I stayed perfectly molded to the sofa like a baby bird being fed by its mother, mouth opening and closing in satisfaction.
One entire steak disappeared in moments.
After eating, my throat felt dry.
I tilted my head toward the water bowl.
“Water too, Dad?”
“Kya-uu.”
Straw inserted.
Finally the Crown Prince lifted the bowl to my tongue while the Emperor wiped my mouth with a towel. The scene was strangely wholesome.
“Here, drink.”
Demian tilted the bowl so cool water touched my tongue.
I drank with loud, contented gulps, lying there.
It felt like hiccups, but I was too lazy to move, so I endured.
“Hahaha! I can’t believe this guy.”
The Emperor laughed heartily while patting my now-buoyant belly.
The worried atmosphere in the parlor was replaced by laughter.
“No one else would handle me like this. I wonder if she knows I’m the Princess or the maid.”
Kailian muttered while wiping sauce from my lips. I purred contentedly under her touch.
“Gulp~”
“Ah, good digestion.”
Stomach full, drowsiness came back full force.
I curled my tail over my belly and slipped back into deep sleep.
The Emperor covered me with his own crimson rug mantle, warm and heavy.
Demian raised the fireplace to a crackling roar.
Lina hummed a calming melody instead of a lullaby—actually a hymn—right beside me.
On a rainy day, the perfect life was napping motionless on a warm sofa.
Emperor and Crown Prince taking turns tending, Princess keeping watch, Saintess playing background music.
“Nothing could be better.”
I hummed my purr song instead of a lullaby and drifted into dreams.
In my dream the rain stopped and tuna cans rained from the sky like water.
Lina’s voice echoed beside me: “This is the blessing of tuna!”