The Smile He Had Been Searching For
With jet-black hair and porcelain skin, her delicate, finely drawn features were charmingly lovely. If she grew up like this, she would possess a beauty striking enough to outshine most celebrities.
Yet Gu Su-min’s eyes were drawn not to the child’s face, but to her expression.
She smiled with her teeth slightly showing, but somehow the smile felt sorrowful. It was clearly a smile, yet it looked strangely drained of strength. The pale sky-blue dress evoked a hospital gown, and the cardigan layered on top only heightened the air of frailty.
When you looked into her eyes, there was even a pathos that seemed far beyond her years.
That smile—which inevitably called to mind a sick child standing before her grieving parents…
It was so delicate it seemed as though it might shatter at any second. The precious beauty that could exist only in a fleeting moment perfectly matched the mise-en-scène Gu Su-min had been searching for—the kind he loved above all else.
“Did you give her any direction? How does a child make an expression like that?”
“No, sir. I simply told her to smile prettily, and this is what she produced.”
“A kid who doesn’t even know what we’re filming can pull off an expression like this? Any prior acting experience?”
“I at least told her the drama title. She didn’t seem to recognize it, though. She claims she has no experience at all. Isn’t it astonishing?”
Gu Su-min looked at the photo again.
She looked like nothing more than an elementary-schooler, yet after hearing only the title she had taken a photograph like this? It was genuinely astonishing.
So astonishing that his mind began to race.
“What’s her name? Did you get contact information?”
Not long ago, one of the child actors had dropped out for health reasons. Though the role was small, it carried meaningful weight in the story, leaving them in a difficult spot.
Gu Su-min stood at a crossroads.
He could find a reasonably competent child actor and salvage the performance through directing and editing, or abandon any hope of real acting and simply cast a child whose face he liked, pushing forward on visuals alone.
The first option was safe and ordinary. The second was a gamble—and, if he was honest, tinged with personal greed. Gu Su-min, utterly obsessed with mise-en-scène, had been on the verge of losing his mind filming nothing but cold operating rooms day and night.
Still, as the main PD he could not let desire cloud his judgment. Until he saw this photo, his heart had been leaning toward the safer choice.
“Her name is Lee Su-a. She’s ten years old, and I have her mother’s contact details. But… are you certain about this?”
“About what?”
“I took the liberty of snapping the photo because I thought you would like it, but… honestly, this feels like too much of a risk.”
Gu Su-min nearly smacked the back of Cho Yeong-gil’s head but restrained himself.
“Hey. What went through your mind when you saw this photo?”
“Well… this one’s the real deal, isn’t she?”
“If she’s not just the real deal but possibly a treasure, then the risk is more than worth it!”
Of course it was unreasonable to expect extraordinary acting from a child he had happened to spot on the street. But if a single phone-camera photo could make people curious about the story hidden inside it, then her potential could not be that poor.
“What if she turns out to be less of a treasure than we hope? Even then, we break even. In the script, ‘Min-seo’ relies more on expression than dialogue. We only need her to produce this kind of look once in front of the camera. That much can be guided through direction.”
Above all, he wanted to capture it with proper filming equipment. The subject made his photographer’s blood burn.
Seeing the fiery enthusiasm in his senior’s eyes, Cho Yeong-gil handed over the mother’s number with a weary expression. Gu Su-min made one final request.
“Send me the photo as well. I want to start thinking about the directing.”
“…That will be difficult.”
“Why?”
“I had to write a memorandum.”
“A what?”
Cho Yeong-gil answered hesitantly.
“I had to promise in writing that I wouldn’t share it carelessly anywhere before I was allowed to take the picture…”
“The child’s mother demanded that?”
“No. The lawyer who was with her…”
“……”
“So… since I’ve already shown it to you, I need to delete it now.”
He had claimed she looked like she was simply out for a stroll, yet a lawyer had been standing beside her. Did she bring one everywhere? What exactly was their situation?
All sorts of scenarios unfolded in his head. Gu Su-min quietly gave up, and Cho Yeong-gil hurriedly deleted the photo.
Both men decided they would need to proceed with extreme caution.
“I never imagined Rin’s mom was a lawyer. We really benefited from that.”
“You can say that again.”
Ever since we began living alone, Mom had become extremely wary of appearing in any photographs or videos. It was fine for me, but if Mom’s face ever spread online, it would cause enormous trouble.
It was fortunate that Yu Ha-jin had stepped forward and even demanded the memorandum. If Cho Yeong-gil had refused, Mom might have rejected the photo entirely. The worry was completely understandable.
The main PD might throw a tantrum over this, though.
Cho Yeong-gil might have stayed meek in front of a lawyer, but people at the level of main PD usually possessed considerable pride.
If he learned we had demanded a written promise just to take one photo of a child actor, he might decide not to contact us at all. Any unnecessary hassle that interfered with filming would be disastrous.
That was why I had tried to infuse real acting into the photograph. If the director had a sharp eye, he would want to see it in person at least once.
“But Su-a, do you… want to try acting?”
It was only after we had been home for quite some time that Mom asked, her voice cautious. I answered in a tone that was neither too heavy nor too light.
“Yeah. From what that uncle said, it sounded fun.”
“Really? Acting means meeting lots of people, and it will be much harder than you think… You might have to face a lot of uncles far scarier than that one.”
She seemed worried because I was smaller and more delicate than other children my age. There were probably other reasons as well.
I couldn’t tell her I would outgrow her within ten years.
Remembering the conversation she had shared with Yu Ha-jin, I asked.
“Mom, you became friends with Rin’s mom partly because you wanted to take lots of pictures of me, didn’t you?”
“What?”
“You kept glancing at the camera she was carrying.”
Mom flinched. Embarrassment colored her face.
Before my regression, Mom had once said she regretted not taking more photos of me from a young age—that she should have taken plenty of them joyfully, back when it didn’t feel like work.
Now that I had returned, I realized she had regretted not even having the leisure to take a few pictures of me back then. None of it had been her fault.
“If I appear on TV often, you’ll be able to see me even while you’re working. That’s good, right?”
When I spoke in a deliberately bright voice, Mom let out a soft laugh.
“I can’t watch TV at work. Still… it would be nice to be able to see our Su-a no matter where I am.”
She smiled, but it didn’t seem as if all her worries had vanished. Mom’s face whenever she watched me work had always looked like that.
The face of a parent ashamed for failing to provide properly for her child.
Someday I’ll have to tell her not to make that face anymore.
“Hello, Su-a’s mother! This is AD Cho Yeong-gil. Is now a good time to talk?”
The unexpectedly polite tone left Mom slightly flustered. “Ah, yes. It’s fine.”
His tone grew even more courteous. “The reason for my call is to ask whether you could come to KBC headquarters by ten o’clock tomorrow morning for a camera test.”
“A camera test? So suddenly?”
“It’s a simple test, so please don’t feel burdened! Our drama’s main PD saw the photo and would like to capture your daughter on camera himself, so we’re arranging this.”
Mom seemed dazed by the possibility that she might soon see me on television. The lengthening silence made Cho Yeong-gil uneasy, so I jumped in.
“Mister! Does that mean we’re signing the contract tomorrow too?”
“Oh—Su-a! I’m not sure about the contract. That’s for the PD to decide.”
“I see. Then is it okay if I bring the lawyer auntie with me? It’s better to have her review the contract before signing, right?”
“Uh… well… I suppose…”
Cho Yeong-gil fumbled, unable to refuse outright. As expected, they had planned to present the contract immediately tomorrow.
I took the phone from Mom’s hand and ended the call. Only then did Mom snap out of her daze and scold me.
“You can’t just hang up like that whenever you feel like it! And what if Rin’s mom isn’t free tomorrow? How could you say that without asking?”
“I’m sorry.”
Mom continued scolding me for a while longer before taking the phone back, saying she needed to call Yu Ha-jin.
Honestly, we don’t even need a lawyer.
Mentioning the lawyer had only been to put pressure on them. It also served as a warning that any funny business with the contract would not be tolerated.
There were plenty of shady characters in broadcasting. This much preparation was necessary.
Even if they really did push a contract on us tomorrow, it wouldn’t be a problem.
How many contracts did I review before my regression?
In business, you never knew who might stab you in the back or when. I had even studied law to filter out poisonous clauses. Thanks to that, I had never once lost money through documents.
I was curious what kind of contract the main PD of The Doctor’s Diagnosis would present to me.