The Only Path Forward
The problem was, of course, money.
'The safest thing would be to leave the country, but I don't have the lump sum I'd need.'
I flipped through TV channels for a while before turning it off. Mom had gone to work, leaving me alone in the house.
I rummaged through the wardrobe, pulled out the bankbook, and checked the balance. It was only enough to cover a few months of living expenses. The fact that I had no debt was at least some comfort.
Immigrating without money was never easy. Settlement costs were substantial, and for a single-mother household with unstable income, securing loans or support was extremely difficult.
It was still too early to turn my pre-regression memories into financial gain. I would need a decent amount of capital to invest in stocks or anything else, but I couldn't touch the money set aside for living expenses.
'The lottery winning numbers seem to change every time anyway.'
I had racked my brain and recalled a few winning numbers I'd vaguely glimpsed around this time, but when I watched the broadcast, none of them matched. Even after returning to the past, the balls tumbling in the drum weren't drawn the same way.
It gave me the clue that the future wasn't fixed, but for someone with a good memory like me, it was disappointing. It meant highly random elements like the lottery could change even without my interference. On top of that, perhaps because I'd overworked my brain, I'd come down with a fever. It was a headache-inducing conclusion.
I returned the bankbook to its original place and erased every trace of having touched it. I grabbed one of the advertisement flyers haphazardly stacked in the corner along with a ballpoint pen, then lay flat on the floor.
'Korean, English, and German are out... Mom probably doesn't know Spanish, right?'
On the blank back of the flyer, I began organizing my plans for the future.
1. Make money.
⟶ How?
Honestly, I was confident I could make money no matter what I did. I'd earned a good living before the regression, after all.
I knew from experience exactly what I was good at, and I'd built a successful career as a businesswoman. Still, I had no desire to walk the exact same road again.
Above all, the time I had been given was at most four years. I might run into that fanatic even sooner.
In that case, what other path could earn me a large sum of money within four years?
1. Make money.
⟶ How? By acting.
Of course... nothing else came to mind.
I kept pressing the pen down, repeating the words, until sweat beaded on the hand gripping the ballpoint.
If I made a mistake, if I failed to change the future, I might lose Mom again. I'd been given this chance by some unknown power. If I couldn't change anything, could I really keep living with a clear mind?
But was there any other way? And if I didn't become an actress, would Mom truly be safe?
'With that bastard's obsession, he'll find us even if I don't become an actress.'
That insane fanatic's goal was obvious: to succeed the dead cult leader.
To that end, he was quietly tracking every trace of the leader, so finding me and Mom would only be a matter of time. Because we'd been so disgustingly entangled with the leader, he would assume we possessed the information he wanted.
The best way to avoid him properly was to leave the country, but that wasn't possible right now.
In that case...
1. Make money. Become an actress.
⟶ How? By acting.
'By becoming famous enough that he wouldn't dare touch me carelessly.'
I didn't necessarily need to gather a huge sum within four years. Simply becoming known to the public would push back the timing of his move. He was the kind of guy who cared about other people's opinions and his own reputation.
In the past I hadn't known him well enough, which allowed that tragedy to happen, but now I was confident I could avoid it.
Within four years I would become a popular actress, secure our safety, and then expand overseas at the right moment. I could even immigrate entirely if needed.
Whether the overseas expansion succeeded didn't matter. That wasn't the objective.
Since I'd done something similar before, I had confidence in myself.
'If it goes like that... I can do anything.'
I could save Mom and freely pursue the acting I loved. I wouldn't need to pay for a stage like I had before the regression.
Carried away, I began writing down all the works I had wanted to try before the regression. I'd meant to jot down only one or two, but my hand refused to stop.
Writing frantically, I soon filled the entire A4-sized flyer.
'I want to act to my heart's content.'
My face grew hot with a longing I hadn't even realized I possessed. I quickly wiped away the tears that had slipped out.
If Mom had seen me, she would have been shocked. It was fortunate I was alone.
Before the regression, I had debuted on screen by pure chance. While out with Mom, I was unintentionally caught on a Wetuber’s camera. A drama PD who happened to see the video contacted me and gave me a child role. I didn’t have a single line.
It could be called a major turning point in my life, yet the truth was that opportunities to debut had existed even before then. I simply hadn’t recognized them as opportunities and let them pass me by.
Relying on coincidence again to debut would be a waste of precious time. This time, I intended to seize the chances I had missed.
“Su-a, get ready to go out.”
“Go out? Where?”
“Ji-won’s mom says she’ll buy us something delicious. Let’s go together.”
“What delicious thing?”
“Um… salad?”
“Ugh, what’s that?”
I grumbled for no reason as I prepared to leave. Over a light blue dress faded from age, I pulled on a brown cardigan that still had most of its stitches intact.
Mom looked surprised and straightened my clothes for me.
“What’s this? You’re coming along quietly? You always hated meeting Ji-won’s mom.”
“It’s not that I hate it… You know how it is.”
“True. Ji-won and Hyo-won are so full of energy…”
I took Mom’s hand and stepped outside. The thought of changing the future myself made my heart flutter with nerves.
'I need to debut even faster than last time.'
Four years was a tight window for an unknown child actor to become widely recognized. Popularity always depended heavily on luck.
Before the regression, it had taken me a full year to make a proper screen debut and another two years to build any real name recognition. I had to shorten that timeline.
“Su-a’s mom, you brought Su-a too?”
“I couldn’t leave her home alone. Sorry for bringing her without asking first.”
“It’s fine. This café doesn’t ban children, and it’ll be good for them to play with our kids. Hello, Su-a. It’s been a while. Mom and Auntie need to rest a bit, so you have to behave, okay?”
I almost hid behind Mom out of habit. She wasn’t a bad person, but her self-centered personality often exhausted Mom.
Still, she was equally generous, so staying on her good side couldn’t hurt.
“If you buy me cocoa, I’ll behave, Auntie.”
I smiled brightly, eyes curving into crescents. A smile immediately bloomed across Ji-won’s mom’s face as well.
“Oh my, of course! Auntie will buy you a hundred cups!”
As expected. The old saying that you can’t spit on a smiling face worked especially well for me.
“Su-a doesn’t seem shy at all. She smiles so brightly, doesn’t throw tantrums, and sits quietly. Is she all grown up already at ten?”
“Who knows. She’s become noticeably more mature lately.”
“She’s already so responsible. Such a good daughter. I’m dying of envy.”
At Kim Gi-yeon’s words, my mom gave an awkward laugh.
Kim Gi-yeon was raising five-year-old twins named Ji-won and Hyo-won. The children overflowed with energy and never stopped moving. After I calmly handled the unpredictable pair, her praise poured out nonstop.
“Noona! Look at this! Ant! It’s an ant!”
“The ant is! Chubby! Today too! Chubby!”
“Yeah, yeah. Such a hardworking little ant.”
“I wanna take the ant home. Let’s go to our house, ant!”
“The ant has its own home, so let’s send it back. If you grab it with bare hands, both the ant and Ji-won will get hurt.”
“The ant is! Chubby! Today too! Chubby!”
Wait, was it like this last time too? One crawling across the floor chasing an ant, the other stuck in an endless song loop?
What had I been like at that age?
…
'Someone save me.'
It was exhausting. A ten-year-old body didn’t have much stamina. I used to get sick all the time during this period.
I would shoot up in height around middle school, but right now I was smaller and frailer than my peers. After regressing I had been trying to build my strength, but there were still no obvious changes.
“Kids, don’t run around. Hold hands and stay close.”
Please don’t wander off. Just stay right next to me.
Fatigue piled up like snow on my mind and body, but it wasn’t entirely bad. Since it was a café near the park on a weekend afternoon, most customers were families, which meant plenty of children.
For someone who needed to act like a child for at least a few more years, this place was overflowing with reference material.
'There are plenty of samples at school too, but the difference between having a guardian present or not is huge.'
Observation was a crucial virtue for any actor. I widened my gaze as much as possible while looking after the twins.
Children laughing, crying, and running everywhere. Parents struggling to keep the noise under control. It didn’t feel like someone else’s problem anymore…
Hm. It was about time for it to appear. Just as I stretched my gaze farther into the distance—
A girl who looked about five or six came running toward us in tears.
'There it is.'
Behind her, someone who appeared to be her guardian chased after her with a camera in one hand. It looked like they were filming video rather than taking photos.
A young daughter running away from her Wetube-filming mom. It was exactly the same situation as before the regression.