The Abyss Stares Back
‘This is where it really matters.’
Director Gu Su-min didn’t take his eyes off the actors for a second. The emotional collision between perpetrator and victim, the privileged and the destitute, adults and children. The pivotal scene where the absolute powerhouse ‘Ha Min-jun’ is defeated by the absolute underdog ‘Min-seo.’
For Ha Min-jun’s collapse under guilt to feel convincing, it would require not only Cho Yong-jin’s performance but Lee Su-a’s acting to fully support it.
Based on the acting he had witnessed during the camera test, this was the ambitious scene that writer Cho Ga-yeong had boldly prepared and that Director Gu Su-min had courageously chosen to attempt. With equal parts anticipation and anxiety, Gu Su-min called out.
“Standby, action!”
Min-seo’s face turned deathly pale the moment she saw Ha Min-jun. Her terrified eyes darted around the hospital room before fixing on the retreating man. The child, who had roughly grasped the situation, cleverly closed the hospital room door first.
“Why did you come?”
Her trembling voice was tangled with complicated emotions. Fear of the other person, worry that someone might overhear, guilt toward her mother, sorrow, resentment.
And rage.
“You were keeping quiet so well. So why did you come?”
“I-I…”
“Money wasn’t enough, so you came to really shut my mouth?”
Min-seo’s simmering emotions splashed onto Ha Min-jun like scalding oil. His already low boiling point ignited in an instant.
“Why should I! What did I even do wrong!”
“Ha Min-jun! You—”
“Let go! That woman jumped out of nowhere! She was trying to kill herself! You saw it too!”
That day, Ha Min-jun had been drinking. He was speeding in a fit of anger, but he had definitely been driving on an empty, quiet road. If that woman hadn’t thrown herself in front of him, none of this would have happened.
Thud!
“Ugh!”
“There are things you can say and things you can’t say in front of a victim… in front of a child! Why don’t you understand that!”
Go Su-hyeok punched Ha Min-jun square in the face. Ha Min-jun, clutching his cheek, started to lunge at him but froze.
“Mom… Mom wasn’t trying to kill herself.”
Min-seo, her face drained of all color, hugged her own arms tightly.
“Mom was trying to run away from me… She was going to leave me behind…”
From the moment she first put on that new dress she had never seen before, Min-seo had known. She knew her mother was going to abandon her. But because she didn’t want to believe it, she had spent the whole day pretending not to notice, enjoying time with her mother.
And then she had chased after the mother who really was about to abandon her. Her mother had covered her face in anguish as she ran away…
That was how the accident had happened.
Ha Min-jun collapsed as if he had been struck in the head. His body shook uncontrollably.
It felt like his own face was being superimposed over Min-seo’s. How hard had he himself struggled not to be abandoned by his parents?
His stomach churned.
“K-kid. I was wrong. Okay? I was wrong…”
Ha Min-jun crawled toward Min-seo, knelt, and begged.
“J-just forgive me once. Please let me live. I… yeah, I’ll find you better parents. If you just forgive me—”
The pitiful sight left Min-seo completely terrified, and Go Su-hyeok’s face twisted in disgust. Unable to watch any longer, Go Su-hyeok moved to pull Ha Min-jun away from Min-seo.
Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep—
The vital signs monitor began to fluctuate wildly. Go Su-hyeok rushed straight to the patient.
“The numbers are suddenly—!”
Recognizing the emergency, he immediately hit the nurse call button and began treatment. Min-seo shook off the clinging Ha Min-jun and ran over as well.
“Mom! Mom!”
Seeing the grave look on Go Su-hyeok’s face, hearing her mother’s breathing grow slower and slower, and the sound of running footsteps approaching from afar, the child finally spat out the words she had kept buried for so long, mixed with sobs.
“Mom… don’t leave me behind…”
At that sight, Ha Min-jun fled the hospital room. He couldn’t endure it any longer.
His parents, who never interfered in his personal life as long as he performed well, would never cover up a hit-and-run resulting in death. His father would rather cut out his own son than shoulder the risk of tanking the company’s stock price.
He didn’t want to be abandoned. He didn’t want to be abandoned!
Yet the farther Ha Min-jun got from the hospital room, the more he felt like he was approaching the edge of a cliff. The child’s voice chased him to the very end.
That voice echoed wildly inside Ha Min-jun’s head.
I didn’t want to be abandoned either… just like you…
“Cut!”
“Haaah! Haaah!”
The scene of fleeing the hospital room and running down the hospital corridor hadn’t been that long, yet Cho Yong-jin was breathing raggedly. His forehead was drenched in cold sweat, and even the hand wiping it away trembled like ice.
Only after drinking the water his manager brought did he feel like he had returned from ‘Ha Min-jun’ to Cho Yong-jin.
Have I ever immersed myself this deeply while acting before?
Among all the roles he had taken so far, ‘Ha Min-jun’ had the largest weight, but he had played many roles with high difficulty even with smaller parts.
In fact, Cho Yong-jin had felt that ‘Ha Min-jun’ was relatively easy to act. Wasn’t he the typical strong-against-weak, weak-against-strong villain who tried hard to look good to his parents while acting however he pleased toward others?
Yet through this episode, the character of ‘Ha Min-jun’ had become far more three-dimensional. The immature side that didn’t want to be abandoned by his parents, and the way he crumbled with guilt in front of a child far younger and weaker than himself.
Connecting that naturally with the character built up until now while showing it intensely had suddenly raised the difficulty level dramatically. Since it was a major turning point for the entire drama, Cho Yong-jin had agonized and practiced diligently.
But the result that came out was far better than what he had prepared.
It’s all thanks to that kid.
Lee Su-a, the actress who had just delivered an emotionally draining performance flawlessly and was now sitting perfectly composed, calmly letting her mother stroke her hair.
Swept up in the emotions Su-a had drawn out, Cho Yong-jin had become completely immersed in the character and discovered depths to ‘Ha Min-jun’ he hadn’t even noticed before.
Do Je-hyun was grinning at him from outside the hospital room, as if to say, See? I told you so.
Cho Yong-jin approached Su-a as if in a trance.
“Actress Su-a, if you have an Inbreeze account, could we follow each other…”
It was the first time in his life he had ever asked anyone to follow him first.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have a single social media account, including Inbreeze, so I couldn’t accept Cho Yong-jin’s follow request.
Watching him look so disappointed, Do Je-hyun burst into hearty laughter.
“This guy has never asked anyone to be friends first in his life. That’s why he’s like this. A lot of people treat mutual follows on SNS as a measure of closeness, you see.”
Thanks to that explanation, Mom—who had been extremely flustered and wary—finally relaxed a little. I told Cho Yong-jin that I would follow him back as soon as I made an account, and that wrapped things up.
With this scene, all the hospital filming was complete. Now I just had one outdoor shoot and one ADR session left, and my part would be finished.
“Su-a, you worked really hard!”
Starting with Director Gu Su-min, who had been grinning from ear to ear throughout the shoot, the entire staff took turns saying goodbye. Thanks to my diligent greetings, it seemed I had left a generally good impression.
The other actors still had filming left. Leaving behind those who were disappointed they couldn’t join the dinner, I joined Gi Seong-hui, who had been waiting for me.
Somehow having heard that I couldn’t attend the dinner, Gi Seong-hui offered to buy us a meal. There seemed to be an ulterior motive, but since it was a rare chance to eat out with Mom, I accepted.
“Su-a, is there anything you can’t eat? What about you, Ga-hee?”
“She takes after me and eats everything well.”
“Neither Su-a nor I have any allergies. Su-a has a small appetite, but… she won’t leave anything behind.”
Mom, who had been desperately trying not to burden anyone even before getting into Gi Seong-hui’s car, indirectly suggested that we please not go anywhere expensive since I couldn’t eat much.
Gi Seong-hui simply smiled. And we arrived at what looked like an ordinary restaurant.
Mom breathed a sigh of relief. She had no idea this was a high-end place where private rooms were standard…
“They’re not giving us menus?”
“It’s the kind of place where you just order whatever you want and they make it. Feel free to order anything you’d like, Ga-hee.”
Mom’s eyes trembled violently. Knowing she could never order comfortably in that state, I placed the order for her.
“Bacon cream gnocchi and hot stone bulgogi, please. And two zero colas for drinks!”
“Su-a, do you even know what gnocchi is?”
“I saw it on television before. I was curious what it tastes like.”
Gnocchi was one of Mom’s favorite foods. I only learned that much later, though. I hoped this place made it well.
Gi Seong-hui ordered mountain vegetable bibimbap, and the food came out quickly. While Mom scooped bulgogi from the hot stone pot onto my small plate to cool it down, I scooped up some gnocchi with a spoon and brought it to Mom’s mouth.
“It’s hot, so please blow on it first.”
Mom glanced at Gi Seong-hui, looking embarrassed, but ate the gnocchi with an expression that clearly said she didn’t mind. The way her eyes rounded the moment she tasted it was adorable.
After the long-awaited meal that perfectly suited Mom’s tastes came to an end, Gi Seong-hui, who had ordered yakgwa for dessert, finally brought up the real reason.
“I’ve been replaying the acting you showed that day over and over. You had prepared the character ‘Min-seo’ in three different directions, but in the end you left the choice to the director and writer. It’s important for an actor to have clear convictions, but it can also cause friction. Weren’t you being too accommodating? Was there a reason you did that?”
As expected.
She must have bought this expensive meal to ask exactly that. Since I had enjoyed a pleasant dinner with Mom thanks to her, I answered with complete sincerity.