Co-Habitation ⑤
When I woke up from my nap, Sehyun was nowhere to be found at home.
He hadn't even bothered to answer my calls. What a complete asshole.
“I am~ a stuffed dummy~♪”
I hummed the idle chatter from Galaxy Train.
Boring. And my stomach was starting to growl.
Clang. The door opening snapped me out of it.
“······Fuck, you're finally back!”
I bolted to the entrance like a loyal dog greeting its master.
“You, where the hell did you disappear to? Ignored my calls too!”
“Well, something came up.”
“Huh? ······Was there trouble?”
Sehyun's face looked troubled, like he'd been dragged through every messy affair imaginable.
“Here. This.”
“Ah······!”
“You came to fetch it but I picked it up instead.”
Sehyun had brought in a carry bag.
It was mine. The things that should have stayed at that woman's place.
“You, did you actually go there?”
“Yeah.”
“You absolute idiot! Why are you doing pointless things and causing all this drama!?”
I felt mortified, like my hasty decisions had been exposed. Pathetic.
So I shot back at Sehyun with a sharp tone.
Originally, this was none of his business.
It was a problem I had to handle alone.
“Hey, Seol Siha.”
“What?”
“I wanted to ask you something.”
Sehyun's gaze was serious, his expression stormy.
I shrank under the weight of his anger.
“Do you like me? Or do you like games?”
“What kind of random question is that? I don't get it.”
“Answer.”
It was a sudden either-or dilemma.
I pondered for a second, but the choice was obvious.
“Well······ games.”
Otherwise, I'd have to say I like Sehyun? No way.
I wanted to argue but held my tongue.
“That tracks.”
“You went to see that woman, didn't you? What the hell happened?”
“Then, do I like you? Or this quarter's new anime?”
“Hey-!!!”
More cryptic riddles.
“Don't tell me you want me to say I like you?”
“······Depends on the situation.”
“You're insane. I'll tell you!”
“So which is it?”
My answer was already decided.
“I naturally pick the new anime.”
“Then, if I have to choose between you and comic books, which wins?”
“Comic books.”
I answered without hesitation.
Whatever it is, it comes first.
Subculture is my entire life.
“Yeah, that makes sense for you. ······I know that too.”
Sehyun muttered to himself quietly.
He seemed to have predicted my reply.
“Hey, Lee Sehyun. So what's the point?”
“A guy who spoils what he likes so much······”
Sehyun continued in a low voice.
“After living together for over a year, the only things left are a few pieces of clothing. Isn't that strange?”
A calm but probing tone.
I finally understood Sehyun's real meaning.
Sehyun's logic left me speechless.
“You didn't live with that woman?”
“······Yeah.”
“If you'd kept separate houses, it would have seemed more believable.”
“That's not an option. You idiot.”
“Then what?”
“······”
“Why is the stuff at that woman's place only this? Gaming consoles, comic books, all kinds of things.”
I was backed into a corner. No excuses came.
“I got rid of everything. For love, I gave up the rest. I followed my heart.”
It became way more important than hobbies.
Because there's someone who likes me. It's enough.
So I let go of the unnecessary.
“I chose the more precious thing between what I like and the person who likes me.”
That woman hated my hobbies.
She said wasting time on low-class culture was disgusting.
So I let them go.
For something more important, I sacrificed the trivial.
“I'm an adult. I can't keep nagging, and work keeps me busy······ minimalist life, I guess.”
Could a weak excuse convince Sehyun?
Even as I rambled, he stayed cold.
“You're really an idiot······”
Sehyun sharply belittled me.
He mocked my grand sacrifice openly.
“Even so, it was possible because of love······? Don't you think I'm amazing?”
That much, I had loved her.
I tried to repay the person who liked me.
I wanted praise. I wanted them to see my devotion.
That woman never looked back.
“No. If I were you, I never would have done that.”
“You bastard.”
I grumbled at Sehyun for nothing.
That way, my sadness stayed hidden.
“If someone really likes you, they wouldn't do that.”
“You're acting cool. I have more relationship experience than you?”
My empty pride flared and I pushed back.
I didn't want to admit it.
The fact that I wasn't loved by that woman.
Even if it looked shameful, I put up a front.
“······Anyway, you idiot.”
“What!? You've said everything!?”
“That's why you should choose the person you like.”
Sehyun looked at me calmly and advised.
“Why?”
“Because you're sincere about love.”
“What does that mean?”
Sehyun's answer made no sense.
I frowned and glared at him.
“Enough. From now on, let's go match the computer.”
“Suddenly?”
“You're planning to hog my computer again?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
When I answered boldly, Sehyun was stunned.
Yes. Proper counterattack.
“No. Use your own computer. If we game together, we need two anyway.”
“That's true, but it's too sudden! It's been a year, so I need to prepare······ Hoo hoo!”
Gaming computer.
Just the word made my heart race.
No, but it's a desire I've been crushing down.
If I let it out, it would be unbearable.
“I decided to stay at our place.”
“Uh, uh-huh. If you're okay with it, sure.”
“You won't go back to that woman, right?”
“······Probably.”
My vague answer made Sehyun frown.
“In that case, live here. You show your weak side in weird corners, so I have to take care of you.”
“What am I, a kid!? Who am I taking care of!”
“Anyway, you can't go to that woman. You can't give yourself to people who don't understand you.”
“M, my attitude. Am I really your possession······”
I was overwhelmed by Sehyun's intensity without realizing it.
It was the first time I'd shown emotions so fiercely.
'That means he cherishes our friendship a lot.'
I was happy because I felt cherished.
He's delicate and romantic.
“This is a good chance to get a new gaming computer.”
So I decided to be honest and pamper myself.
Sehyun is reliable.
As long as I give my heart, it comes back.
'Thank you.'
I can't say it honestly.
It's a secret gratitude in my heart. Embarrassing.
As a man, there's pride. Don't say thank you casually. It would be embarrassing.
So I just keep it inside.
'I'm glad the person who comforted my wounded heart is you.'
Even if I become a girl, you won't change.
You're still treating me as a friend.
“Hey, Lee Sehyun.”
“What?”
“I just called you.”
I felt manly. I guess I became a real man.
In the past, I was always clinging to his back.
Now, he's much more reliable than me.
I became a man I can depend on.
'Ah- aah- The woman who would date this guy would be great. Unlike appearances, he's a romantic.'
He's not calculating, but he's a good guy.
Definitely, I can guarantee it.
“Hey, you know.”
“What?”
“If we're going out like this, don't we look like a newlywed couple?”
“Khh!?”
Sehyun coughed violently, like he had a cold.
“Puff. Just kidding.”
“You, saying things that don't match at all······”
“It's your fault for reacting one by one.”
Sehyun's reaction was funny, so I said it again.
It's all Sehyun's fault. Your reactions are too sharp.
“If you're going to say that, at least wear proper clothes.”
“What?”
“Starting with your pants sticking out with square panties.”
“······Ah.”
I pulled my sagging pants.
My waist is thin, so it's a pain.
If I were a woman, I would have shown panties from below.
Maybe I didn't show the top part.
“Well, how is it. Between friends, it's okay to show this much.”
“That's a nuisance to other people, not me.”
“You bastard. You're too picky.”
Treating me like a community terror item.
I grumbled at Sehyun with a sullen face.
His treatment is too harsh. That's proof of being a real friend.
“Anyway, let's go. Today, I'm really going to beat you! Nyahat-!”
“You, earlier you were talking about minimalist life.”
“What do you know-!”
Like a child throwing a tantrum at a toy store,
I pushed Sehyun's back forcefully.
“U, wat!? Hey, don't push!”
“Hurry and lead. Don't you know gentleman first? Pathetic illiterate.”
“Wait! Originally it's lady first!?”
It was rare to go out with someone in a friendly way.
It was always the daily repetition of being beaten by work like livestock.
The reason my warmth feels safe is clearly because it's you.
I thought that.