Hunter Preparation ①
The day after I met with Miho.
I was groaning through a hangover from the moment morning arrived when, for reasons I couldn't begin to guess, Sehyeon issued me a doctor's stop. Excuse me?
"You're not ready yet."
"Not ready for what?"
"Ready to work. You need to rest more."
Hmm. I stared a hole straight through him—hard enough, I hoped, to see clean through to his brain.
"Wh-what? What's with that look?"
"Just wondering what you're plotting."
I'll read your mind. Physical edition.
I set my right hand on Sehyeon's face. At a glance, it might have passed for an intimate little gesture.
"Hup—!"
Then I mashed his face with everything I had, squeezing like I was wringing out a lemon. How's that? Pro wrestling technique: the Iron Claw. It shows up in anime all the time. A move of pure romance.
"...What are you doing?"
The reaction I'd been counting on never came. No scene of him howling gwoooooh. Just Sehyeon staring at me with a sour look on his face. Reality is harsh. Nothing like the anime.
"Forget it. I'm done. This is so lame."
I pulled away from him with a huff. If I were still a guy, I could've overpowered him with brute force. Ugh.
"What kind of reaction were you even going for?"
"Pro wrestling play—don't you remember? We used to do it all the time as kids!"
"...Ah. That."
Only now did he seem to get it. His inner child was dead. He'd grown up and lost the plot entirely.
"Come on, then! Great Sehyeon! You oversized beanpole—I'll take you down with technique!"
"Hey, I'm trying to have an important conversation—"
"Die—!"
I lunged at him without warning. I was the face, he was the heel. Sucker punches were allowed.
Whoosh. I bounced off an imaginary rope and went to drive my elbow into him—and that was the moment Sehyeon caught me by both sides of my waist.
"Hyaaaaah!?"
A shrill scream tore out of me and I flinched hard. An indecent little moan slipped from my throat. Gyaaah. My face burned hot.
"Ah, nngh..."
I'd just made a sound that belonged in adult bed-wrestling. Got me. I had no idea my sides were this sensitive.
"That's enough. Put me down."
Sehyeon was so mean. Anyway, this was all his fault. Dangling in the air like a cat, I glared at him. The size difference was infuriating. Even on my tiptoes I was still way smaller than he was.
"...I want to go back to being a guy."
It tumbled out without thinking. Being smaller than Sehyeon pissed me off. We used to be about the same height. Now I felt like I'd been left behind.
"You done with your little episode? Can I talk now?"
"Whatever. Talk or don't."
Once I'd settled down, Sehyeon picked up where he'd left off.
"How about you rethink joining Nine Tails Guild?"
"You want me to throw away a golden opportunity that just fell into my lap?"
Yesterday's offer from Miho came back to me. The working conditions were outstanding—no two ways about it. It might be a job opportunity that would never come around again.
"Didn't that guild master give you a weird vibe?"
"Ah, well..."
"See. You felt it too."
Miho had confessed that she liked me. This offer probably had personal motives mixed in.
"W-well? I think it's a good thing the guild master thinks so highly of my abilities."
"That person seemed a lot more interested in your body than your abilities."
"...Ugh."
I flinched. That was a sharp observation. The alcohol had wiped most of the night, but a few impressions remained. I'd almost been scooped up by the guild master and hauled off to a hotel. If Sehyeon hadn't shown up then... everything after that only went to dirty places in my head.
"Anyway, how did you show up at exactly the right time to pick me up?"
"Don't you remember? You called me."
"Did I?"
There was a record of me contacting Sehyeon. But the call duration was zero seconds. What was that about? Everything after I got drunk was a complete blur. I'd have to rely on Sehyeon's testimony for the missing pieces.
"You contacted me and told me to come get you."
"I did?"
"You did. I heard you loud and clear."
Suspicious, but I had no choice but to accept it. No matter how hard I wracked my brain, nothing came back.
"I didn't say anything weird to you yesterday, did I?"
"...Nothing happened."
"Really? You hesitated just now. That's suspicious. Was it actually fine?"
"Yeah, yesterday was actually pretty tame by your standards! Happy now?"
Only Sehyeon's irritated voice let me breathe easy. Phew. Looks like yesterday passed without incident. The problem was, the second I got drunk my emotions exploded. I had zero shame. And I blacked out on top of it. Nothing but bad drinking habits. He probably handled whatever little incidents came up. Thank god. What a reliable guy. I wanted to pat his head. Instead, I just looked at him fondly.
"Good job. I really don't have anyone but you."
For some reason Sehyeon blatantly looked away. Always so embarrassed by praise.
"Anyway, I don't like Guild Master Miho. That person is someone you absolutely need to be wary of."
Sehyeon was adamant. Like a father refusing to hand his daughter over to a son-in-law.
"Hmm..."
I narrowed my eyes and studied him. Why was he trash-talking Miho?
"What, are you jealous?"
I tossed it out casually, testing him.
"You've finally lost it."
"Well, I guess the guild master is your type. She's got a great body. Stacked front and back."
"That's not what this is about—!"
Sehyeon blew up. Sudden-onset rage. I kept teasing him like a little brat.
"A guy's jealousy is so unattractive."
"That mouth of yours is always the problem! I swear I'll just—!"
"And what are you gonna do about it? What can you even do? You two-bit extra. Eheheheheh!"
Whether it was true or not was secondary. Teasing him was just funny. This from a guy who couldn't even talk to girls properly.
"Forget it. I'm against it, period. You're in no condition to work. I'm not handing you over to Guild Master Miho."
He declared it like a doctor prescribing complete bed rest. He looked genuinely worried about me. Made sense, given what I'd been through at Black Wolf.
"But what am I supposed to do? Nine Tails might be a once-in-a-lifetime chance..."
"I'll take responsibility, won't I?"
A man's word is worth its weight in gold. My eyes lit up at that.
"You'll take responsibility?"
Time to debut the smartphone's recording function. I shoved my phone at Sehyeon like a traffic cop holding a breathalyzer.
"Say that again, clearly, into this?"
"What are you doing!?"
"Think of the smartphone as a recorder belonging to a girl who has a crush on you. You can even put it in your mouth. I'll record everything."
"Are you insane!?"
Backing out now would be cheap. You said it, so you pay for it.
"So you agree that even if I become a useless freeloader, you'll feed me and keep me alive?"
"I never said that!"
"Ah-ah! Look at this guy, already walking it back. You said you'd take responsibility. Can't even put a condom on that mouth of yours?"
"Have you even actually seen a condom?"
So what? Two people who'd never used a condom, talking about condoms.
"Hello? Excuse me? Care to say something?"
"..."
The moment the close-range interrogation began, Sehyeon exercised his right to remain silent. I clung to him even harder.
"This is because you stopped me from getting a job. I need evidence that I can get hired by you if it comes down to it."
"Kack. Hired...? Don't tell me that means you're going to marry into my family?"
I frowned at that. The algorithm of a socially inept nerd was terrifying. What thought process even led him there?
"What are you talking about. I meant I'd get hired as your manager. You're an S-rank hunter. I used to be a hunter manager."
I hurriedly issued a correction. Creepy. A future where I became Sehyeon's bride?
"Even if you want to get married, dragging me into it is a bit much, don't you think?"
"You think I'd like that!? You're the one who caused the misunderstanding!"
"Don't blame other people, you creepy ball of repressed desire!"
"That's not what you said last time! You told me you'd even be my practice partner if I wanted!"
"I said I'd be a practice partner. I never said I'd become your woman!"
He'd gone and confused friendship for romance. The fact that he'd remembered those words and used them against me was sneaky, too. What if I actually asked him to practice later? I glanced at Sehyeon and shielded myself.
"Haa... Sehyeon. You familiar with the concept of managing your... releases?"
Drain the pipes on a regular schedule and a person becomes downright virtuous. That's the magic of sage time clearing the head.
"As for the hand-shaking method, I'm something of an expert myself. If it's just that much..."
"I don't need that!"
Sehyeon rejected the negotiation like a teenager denying puberty. Tch. So picky.
"Hey, Lee Sehyeon."
"..."
"You sulking? Petty bastard."
Maybe I'd teased him too much. I sidled up to the sulking Sehyeon.
"Cheer up. I'll do what you said. I'll rest for a while. And I'll think more about joining Nine Tails."
"...Really?"
Only then did he react. He looked like he was softening.
"Yeah. So cheer up."
"What are you talking about. I'm totally fine."
"You're sulking. Liar."
This was the usual ritual after a round of bickering. The one who'd been mean soothed the one who'd gone sulky. That was the secret to our friendship lasting this long. Even a petty argument, and we'd make up in no time.