Chapter 47
Chapter 47
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 47
Chapter Title: Scent of Trouble and Blind Date Plans
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Ha... I almost died...
You're supposed to be a driving god! A ten-year pro!
"Phew."
Yu In-ha let out sighs like she'd aged ten years on the way here.
She'd clung to the seatbelt the whole drive...
What's wrong with this thing? I swear she said that ten times.
Is this the right road? At least fifteen times.
We only survived because other drivers smartly got out of the way... Pfft.
"We made it in one piece."
"..."
She's probably gonna cause a massive accident soon...
Next time I see her, it might be in the hospital.
How the hell did she even get her license? She's not fit to drive!
I need to use a wish coupon before she crashes...
"Get out, you idiot."
Yu In-ha chuckled as she unbuckled her seatbelt.
My... hands are soaked in sweat.
I started to get out, but Yu In-ha froze.
"Huh? What's that smell?"
Suddenly, she started sniffing like a dog...
She sniffed around like she'd caught a scent.
"F... fuck... that's Yi Ju-ha's smell?"
!!!
My body froze solid.
Wait, thinking about it, I'm still wearing yesterday's clothes. Did the smell linger?
Emergency escape!
"Where the fuck you going, you crazy bastard?"
Yu In-ha glared and grabbed my collar tight.
Gurk...
*Sniff. Sniff sniff.*
Yu In-ha pressed right up against me, sniffing my body.
Then she gaped her mouth wide.
"That's... the shampoo Yi Ju-ha uses?"
Ha... hah.
Thinking back... I used Yi Ju-ha's in the shower...
*Sniff sniff sniff.* Yu In-ha buried her nose in my nape. Ughhh! What the hell!
"Yi Ju-ha's... body wash smell too?"
I whipped my head away.
I don't know anything...
Yu In-ha grabbed my chin and yanked it back. Gurk. My neck bones...
"You fucking bastard... you went to Yi Ju-ha's place yesterday, didn't you?"
"..."
I clamped my mouth shut.
I'm doomed...
"So your 'prior commitment' was banging Yi Ju-ha at her place?
You crazy fuck!"
Yu In-ha recoiled in disgust and jumped away from me.
She shook her hands like she'd seen something unholy, face twisted in revulsion.
Hey, fuck, did you just touch something you can't?
"N-no, it's not..."
"Not what, you psycho? You reek of Yi Ju-ha!"
Ew, fuck! Yi Ju-ha, you crazy bitch!
Yu In-ha, who'd started getting out, froze again.
Her face twisted into a hellhound snarl.
"Wait a damn minute.
You ignored my call because you were fucking? Now I'm fucking pissed!"
Yu In-ha growled, glaring at me.
F-fuck. Can't even argue.
"Th-the situation was unavoidable—"
"Bullshit! Give me my 70,000 won, fucker! You skipped out to fuck? Die! Die!"
No, it wasn't about fucking—she was in a shit mood!
I flailed to escape, but she bit my neck.
Gahhh, fuck!!! My throat...!
"Guhh... Feels like my neck's bleeding..."
"It's not, dumbass."
Yu In-ha clicked her tongue and set down the tray.
Americano and strawberry smoothie... Obviously, I'm the smoothie. Looks tasty, hehe.
"Sigh... strawberry smoothie, fuck.
This is why people call you a loser."
"...?"
What's wrong with strawberry smoothie...?
Yu In-ha grimaced and shook her head.
"What's the point of telling you, fuck."
"Wh-why..."
Is strawberry smoothie too much...? Like, if a guy orders that at a cafe, he seems gay...?
Should I get iced tea next time?
"You fucking thought, 'Maybe iced tea next time?' didn't you."
"..."
What, mind reader?
Did she learn 'Loser Mind-Reading Skill' or something?
"Ugh, fuck... ugh."
Hey, fuck, tell me so I know!!!
I glanced around nervously and pulled out my phone. Tap tap... Cafe... smoothie... gay?
Nothing like that anywhere.
As I tapped away, Yu In-ha reacted again.
"What're you looking at?"
"Huh? Just a sec..."
"Fuck, searching 'Can't have smoothie?' huh."
"..."
Did she really learn a skill?
Yu In-ha burst out laughing, leaning back on the sofa.
That smug look: This total loser bastard, I own him!
"Just fucking drink coffee next time you come with people.
Dare order a latte pretending it's coffee, you moron."
"Americano... tastes bitter, and..."
"Just drink it! Gonna kill you? Swallow it down, fuck!"
Why the rage...
I pouted and turned away.
Fuck, strawberry smoothie tastes great...
"Siiiigh."
Yu In-ha turned away too and sipped her coffee.
Tastes bad to you too... yet you bitch at me.
Guess there's a reason...?
Not like guys should chug Americanos together.
Maybe order coffee with girls? Yeah, probably. I'll look it up later...
"Mm."
This scenic cafe we drove to...
On a sloped hill, third floor with a killer open view.
Cool breeze blowing... Feels refreshing. Nice spot.
"Nice view, right?"
"Yeah... it is."
"When else would a loser like you come here without me?"
...
Can't argue with that. No reason to hit cafes... no car... no friends to come with... Pfft.
"Hey, so what about the blind date?"
"Blind date?"
Right.
Meant to talk about that first when we got here.
Everything's set. Got two guys, just need to pick a date.
"We got ours ready...
Just need your side set."
"I got mine too?
Just set the date. Group chat?"
"Want me to make it?"
Yu In-ha seemed to ponder for a sec.
What's to think about?
"Nah, no group chat. Too much chatter gets weird.
Friday night—check if that works."
"Okay."
"Ask now, dumbass."
"..."
God, that mouth... Sigh.
She's always been like this, what can I do.
Can't wish-spank her ass every time she curses.
I messaged Kim Myeong-jun right away. Gotta make a three-guy group chat. Share profiles...
"Sent."
"No pics? Show me the two."
Think I showed Kim Myeong-jun before.
Just made the group chat. Tapped the new guy's profile.
Has a face pic. Figures, popular pretty boy...
"Here. The new one."
"Lemme see."
Yu In-ha hummed happily, grabbing my phone.
Swiping through screens with excitement...
Eyes sparkling only now...
"Ooh... not bad. How'd you pull this, loser? Kim Myeong-jun?"
"In the group chat."
Yu In-ha's face lit up with bliss.
Like she's already picturing boyfriend, marriage...
Giggling already, super hyped.
"Kim Myeong-jun's the best. I want him."
"..."
Should ask Kim Myeong-jun's opinion...
Yu In-ha handed back the phone, grinning slyly.
"Check yours.
I picked thinking of you for real."
"Uh..."
Not profile pic... separate photo.
Quiet type, doesn't talk much vibe.
Even in the pic, you can feel her shrinking, watching others.
Did she get me... someone like me?
"Cute, right?
Hard to get all cuties 'cause you'd fuck it up. Good job."
"Uh... th-thanks."
Not sure if I should thank her...
But yeah, my type. Simply pretty...
Like, losers stick together or whatever. Fuck... kinda self-loathing now.
"This is the second one."
Hm... Energetic girl. Athlete? Thighs are insane.
Wait, none as pretty as Yu In-ha?
She picked on purpose. Sly bitch...!
But this one's solid too.
Both above average for sure.
Kim Myeong-jun and the other guy should like 'em. No bombs.
Probably just me who's the bomb...
"Wooow, gonna be fun, fun."
Fun, sure...
But I'm way more nervous. What if I fuck up? Ruin the vibe?
Should I just shut up...? But what if they rag on me for that? Hic.
"Hm."
Yu In-ha, who'd been humming, narrowed her eyes at me.
...What now...
After staring, she sighed.
"Your clothes, fuck. Same shit from before."
"...Y-yeah."
Bought a few, but never reached for 'em...
Ended up in the stuff we got together...
"You made money—buy clothes. Ugh."
"...Will."
"Don't go alone, drag a fashion-friend."
...Like I have one?
Yu In-ha sighed and eyed me again.
Scanning up and down... Body tenses up...!
"Fuck, need a haircut too. Clear tomorrow."
"T-tomorrow?"
Tomorrow's soccer practice and crossdressing day...
Plus, they said don't touch the hair.
Need to check it for wig fitting, keep hair for now...
"Tomorrow's soccer...
Sunbaes said no hair changes."
"Hair? Why? Rule?"
No strict rule.
Nursing dept side glances at it, but...
Can't say it's for crossdressing!
"Uh, something like that..."
"What bullshit."
Yu In-ha sighed and plopped next to me.
Started fiddling with my hair.
"Could work with a straightener?"
Yu In-ha smacked her lips.
She's gonna help somehow? Or ask sunbaes.
"I'll ask sunbaes first."
"Do that. Or change that loser hair.
If not tomorrow, clear the day after. No time, idiot.
Can't have rumors you dragged a mega-bomb."
"Uh... okay..."
Mega-bomb... harsh ring.
Now I'm tense too.
Gotta swap glasses or try contacts.
Contacts didn't suit crossdressing... test at home?
"Ahh—blind date before cherry blossoms fall."
Yu In-ha chuckled and kicked my leg lightly.
"Grateful? Blind date experience."
"Yeah..."
Totally.
Never dreamed I'd do a blind date.
Thought I'd graduate solo loser...
No expectations, though. Just experience it...
"Hey, what're you wishing for?"
Yu In-ha asked with a uneasy glance.
Ooh... keeping promises? Cute.
Wish coupon... Hm.
Haven't thought yet.
Just got it.
"Not yet."
"Say something weird, you die?"
Weird?
As if I'd say it.
She wouldn't grant weird anyway...
Hmm. What to wish.
Never had one, no clue.
What do delinquents wish? They just rob me blind—can't remember...
"Ahh—but I need cash too.
Gas, insurance—not cheap..."
...Get a job.
Or don't drive... why tell me.
Yu In-ha grinned slyly at me.
"Should I do OnlyFans?"
...Suddenly?
I gaped. She used to gag at the sight of me...
Can't picture it.
Yu In-ha... OnlyFans? ...Like, sex tapes?
Glanced at her. Eye contact. Her face looks burdened. What's up?
Wait.
Feels like a trap question...
As expected, her face darkened. Hiik!
"You fucking pervert. You just imagined some shit."
"N-no? No?!"
"You did, fuck! You did, you psycho!"
Yu In-ha freaked and lunged.
U... uwaaah! My neck! My neck!
"Knew you'd think filthy shit, you fuck!
Die! Die! Die, fuck! As if I'd do it with you! Would I?!"
"No, I didn't! Really didn't!"
"Like hell! Your eyes went full perv, you dog! Die!"
I really didn't! Really!
So wronged, fuck!!!
Tried fleeing, but no use.
That day, my neck ended up with dozens of bite marks...