The Girl Who's Suspiciously Kind to Me (1)
The Girl Who's Suspiciously Kind to Me (1)
"Ugh..."
My head was a bit sore.
The professor's words bouncing around my ears were unusually hard to focus on.
When I slightly shifted my gaze from staring straight ahead, I met someone's eyes. Even after I startled and turned my gaze back forward, the scornful stare wouldn't fade.
No matter where I turned my head, eyes met mine. Most of the students in the lecture hall were looking at me.
My skin prickled under people's stares.
They say women are sensitive to stares, and it's true. I didn't expect to learn it this way.
I hunched my body under the pouring stares.
Receiving this kind of attention was the first time in my 21 years of life. It was too burdensome... and unfair.
Was having a single conversation with Chae-eun-yang such a remarkable thing?
I'm a person too.
Just unlucky enough to have caught TS disease.
A person, no different from you, no different from others.
A person.
Tap tap tap!
I tapped the keyboard connected to my tablet with a bit of irritation.
Listening to the professor's calm words, I settled my mind.
Let's think calmly, my head was too heated right now.
It's overly heated thinking. It's delusional thinking.
There's not a single person who knows my gender has changed.
It's okay... because it's okay.
For now, let's just think about the present.
It was the moment I was trying to immerse myself again in the boring lecture.
Tap tap.
I raised my head at the sound of a pen tapping the desk.
Naturally looking forward, I couldn't help but doubt my own eyes.
The distinct features engraved in my eyes. The girl in the front seat had turned her upper body and was looking at me.
Doing other things during class is something common among students.
Han Chae-eun, she was an exception. Until now, she had always focused on class.
Had she ever blatantly deviated like this during class? Not that I recall.
For a moment, I thought, what if the professor is doing something else, but the professor was passionately explaining while looking at the screen now.
Even in this aspect, being thorough is typical of her, I suppose.
Smirk-
Ruby-colored red eyes staring into my pupils. I was so dumbfounded I couldn't even blink, let alone turn my head.
While I was flustered, the eyes of the girl scrutinizing my face curved softly.
The ruby pupils were swallowed between the crescent moons of her eyelids.
And then, swish, she turned her eyes forward again. She, focusing on class as if nothing had happened.
Unlike her who calmly turned her upper body, I was not peaceful.
That fleeting moment was engraved in my memory.
Not the faint smile with a slightly blunt impression she usually maintained, but a bright smile smiling with all sincerity.
The destructive power of a sincere smile was strong. Because that person is beautiful, and because she's not usually someone who does that, it was even stronger.
I ended up burying my head on the spot. It was fortunate no sound came out, and it was fortunate the professor didn't catch me.
The back of my neck prickled.
The scornful stares piercing towards me even more fiercely, this ominous interest doesn't seem fortunate though.
What does that matter? Han Chae-eun-ssi is only looking at me...!
She, the Department Goddess who is kind to everyone but maintains a subtle distance with everyone, is only gentle to me.
She greets me first, and gives me a smile filled with sincerity.
Is this perhaps a green light?
'...That can't be.'
I calmed my heart by wrapping my throbbing chest with both hands.
Shaking my head side to side, I erased my own delusion from my mind.
All these things, she has no thoughts about them, it's merely my overinterpretation.
We're classmates, and also since we encounter each other nearby during most lecture times, exchanging greetings isn't special or anything at all.
A smile with a bit of sincerity, well, as people live, there are times they want to smile. Looking at me when smiling is merely a coincidence.
Because... because.
There won't be someone who likes this body.
Who could love a body that even I myself cannot love?
"Hoo..."
I let out a sigh.
It was fortunate it was during class. Letting out a sigh because it's hard during class is a common thing.
I just hope my sigh was heard that way too.
*
Taking notes of the professor's words, highlighting parts that might appear on exams.
When concentration loosened, by recalling the smile Han Chae-eun-ssi kindly showed me, spending time like that.
"Today's lecture ends here. You all worked hard."
Suddenly, class had ended.
The arrival of the time everyone waited for.
Originally, it should have passed peacefully, but today was not.
A silent tension was swirling inside the classroom.
Students who were originally just passing classmates with faint connections, but now trying to somehow form a connection with me who received Han Chae-eun-ssi's attention.
And me, trying to safely return home without any breath-stealing incidents while avoiding such students.
The fierce reading of atmosphere battle unfolding among students.
"There's one thing to announce. A group assignment is scheduled to be given out today."
...The professor's declaration, lacking awareness, ruined everything.
Groans came from various places in the lecture hall.
"Those who want can freely form groups among themselves and perform the presentation. Groups can be freely formed through mutual agreement among students."
But suddenly a group assignment, worries came forward.
For someone unpopular and introverted like me, it was torture equivalent.
From finding people to form a group, it was already a hardship, and I was worried whether the formed group would run smoothly.
Professor, couldn't we just perform two individual assignments instead?
Or do the group assignment alone.
If possible, I wanted to shout that. Though there's no chance they'd listen.
"The topic is about the impact Physiological Gender Swap Syndrome has had on modern society. Within the comprehensive topic, freely set your subject and conduct research. Everyone, you worked hard."
The topic was also an area I was confident in.
Because my body ended up like this, I unavoidably became well-informed.
Since I'm confident, maybe I could just take any leftover person and drive the bus.
Drawing vague ideas about how to proceed with the group assignment, I slowly packed my bag.
But isn't there something I forgot?
"Hello. Your name is Jin-a, right?"
Ah.
Right. Escape.
"Ahaha. Hello."
...was already late. I forcibly pulled up the corners of my mouth with tension and faced the person.
The guy who first showed courage among about ten classmates gathered.
For reference, it was an unfamiliar face.
"But by any chance, who are you...?"
"Wow. This is unbelievable. Don't you remember me?"
"Yes... regrettably."
"We sat nearby at the start of the semester, exchanged phone numbers, talked and stuff."
Did that happen? I don't remember well.
That thing at the start of the semester was something done from the thought that at least minimal courtesy between people should be maintained. Recently, even that has become bothersome so I don't do it often.
Anyway, he who was expressing his disappointment thickly reintroduced himself.
I'll remember it, but don't know how long it'll last.
Already it's becoming vague.
"By any chance, may I ask why you came to me?"
"It's nothing special, just let's talk a bit. Let's go to a somewhat quiet place."
"Ahaha..."
If my heart alone could decide, I'd want to reject sharply.
But with so many watching eyes here, if I reject here and embarrass him, school life might become quite arduous.
Well, there's nothing particularly entangled here so maybe it's okay...?
I tried to carefully weigh the risk and opportunity cost.
"Huh? How about it? Doesn't it get boring going alone every day? After a long time, talking with people a bit shouldn't be bad."
"Stop it."
A firm restraint that rang out as if driving away the greasy man's voice.
Han Chae-eun, the owner of that clear voice, she cut through the crowd and approached. No one dared to block her path.
"Isn't it making you uncomfortable?"
Under Chae-eun-ssi's pointed remark, scorching stares poured onto him.
"...That's right. I overdid it."
Yielded to public opinion, he stepped back one step.
"Sorry. Will you accept my apology?"
"...Yes."
He retreats now, but his eyes were still burning.
I don't understand people's emotions well, but trusting a woman's intuition, thinking positively it's interest, thinking negatively it's closer to resentment or jealousy.
Though this is just simple intuition. It seemed he wouldn't retreat obediently.
Without time to worry about his blazing eyes, my wrist was grabbed.
I think I've experienced this once before too.
"Let's go."
"Ah? Chae-eun-ssi? Chae-eun-ssi?"
Without time to think deeply about this, she dragged me out.
What I could do was only snatch my bag with the other hand not grabbed.
Her back, easily cutting through the frozen crowd and advancing, even looked reliable.
Thanks to her, I easily came outside.
"Things turned out well somehow. Are you okay?"
"Yes. Really thank you."
"Thank me? Actually, I also have something I want to ask, so I dragged you out a bit forcefully."
"Something to ask...?"
"Yes."
That's what it was. It wasn't that she had some favor towards me and brought me out, it was all due to necessity.
But that she, who looks perfect in all aspects, has something to ask me, what could it be.
"What is it?"
"That..."
She paused for a moment.
What request is she trying to make that she pauses like this.
"That..."
"That...?"
"Ssuuuh-"
She took a big breath in.
Finally, it seemed resolution was made.
Her request, which required such resolve, was-
"Group assignment, can we do it together?"
"Huh?"
It felt somewhat deflating.
