7. How Do I Get Used to a Body Like This (3)
"We're just buying underwear and leaving. That's all."
Sports bra. Depending on how things went, women's boxer briefs too.
Okay. Let's just buy that. I didn't need much.
I just had to put out the immediate fire. If it came down to it, I could ask An Gi-yeon for help later.
"You said things like 'it'll be awkward if you get caught,' and that just makes me more nervous."
I recalled what Park Won had told me and pressed my hat down harder.
There were people like that. The type who got scared the moment something familiar changed and became unfamiliar.
I had lived my whole life without knowing I was that type of person.
What if someone found out I was Peregrine?
What if they recognized me and shouted, "Peregrine came to the department store to buy underwear!"?
I didn't even want to imagine that situation.
I was pretty sure I could die of embarrassment.
"I really want to avoid that, at least...."
My hands were sweating from the tension. My clenched fingertips were cold.
I kept glancing around even though I knew it made me look suspicious.
When I confirmed no one was paying attention to me, I felt relieved. For about ten seconds.
Once the relief faded, I glanced around again.
Glance, glance. Stare straight ahead. And then glance, glance again....
"Why is even my behavior starting to resemble a bird...."
After scanning my surroundings like that for a while as I went up, I eventually arrived at the adult women's underwear section.
I'd assumed the mannequins under the bright lights would just be wearing panties and bras, but....
"It's like a museum...."
Besides women's underwear, the section had all sorts of innerwear draped over the mannequins.
Lingerie, camisoles, corsets, negligees that I'd only skimmed past on the subway....
I hadn't looked closely enough to identify anything beyond that.
At the very least, it didn't look like they only sold underwear.
Today might be a small step for Peregrine, but for Yu Seong-woo it was a great leap.
A fucking huge leap, at that.
If anything, this professional atmosphere might be better.
Because the pressure of having come to buy underwear shifted into the feeling of having come to buy innerwear.
It was the same thing, but the atmosphere was different.
That was a relief, at least....
I walked into the biggest store and started looking around.
Normally, a salesperson coming up to talk while I browsed felt like a burden.
But today was different. Today, of all days, I wished they would please come talk to me.
I didn't want to be the one to say "sports bra and boxer briefs, please...."
If a salesperson came over and asked, "Are you looking for a particular type of underwear?" I'd answer as naturally as possible.
"I'm looking for something comfortable to wear, if possible. Do you have anything good?"
Like that. I wanted to say it naturally. And then I wanted to become just another forgettable customer, erased from memory by the next day.
So, please.
Please....
"Um, miss. Are you looking for a particular type of underwear?"
Here it came.
"S, ports. I mean...."
"Yes...?"
"S. Sports, I'm looking for adult underwear...."
Failure.
Like some nerd who'd never functioned in society, I just blurted out the words in my head.
I malfunctioned when I got nervous in an unfamiliar atmosphere.
They say blurting out the words you think are most important like you're being chased is a bad conversational habit.
Look, the salesperson was looking at me with a puzzled expression.
Fine. I admitted it. Right now, my head was full of nothing but underwear.
What was I supposed to do? It was only because this whole situation was unfamiliar.
The salesperson's gaze, examining me with a puzzled look, was starting to feel a little embarrassing.
"Ah, you mean a sports bra?"
"Yes, yes...."
"It's okay. We get first-time customers who are nervous sometimes. This is your first time at our store, right?"
"...."
My earlier momentum had vanished, and I just nodded my head.
Cold sweat ran down my back. My cheeks burned.
Buying women's underwear while I still thought of myself as a man felt utterly alien.
Like the anxiety I'd felt the day I went to buy alcohol right after becoming an adult.
Even though I hadn't committed any crime, I stood there hoping not to get caught.
"Then, what size are you looking for?"
"Huh...? Size? Oh...."
Size...?
Right. Size. Right..., women's underwear couldn't just be lumped into units like small or large.
Size... Should I have measured beforehand? No, how would I even measure in the first place?
Wait, I was so nervous my mind went blank and I couldn't think of anything.
And on top of that, my lower abdomen was throbbing again. This was bad.
"Miss?"
"Sorry..., I, I don't really know my size...."
Don't cry. Calm down. This isn't a weird situation at all.
So don't let your vision go blurry.
This is someone you'll never see again after today, so don't dwell on it alone.
"I can help you if you'd like. How about it?"
"Please...."
A salesperson suddenly came into view.
She still had the same calm smile from when she first greeted me.
"It's okay even if you don't know. We can just measure your size."
"...."
"Please come to the back. Don't worry too much or feel embarrassed. Okay?"
"Yes, yes...."
Knockdown. I surrendered.
This... wasn't something I could handle alone.
For now... let's just follow quietly.
Let's just leave it to a skilled professional. Yeah.
───
"First, please undress. Since it's your first time, we need to be accurate."
Since it was a big store, the fitting room was relatively spacious.
Feeling a bit cozy with the curtain closed, I turned my back and slowly pulled up my top.
"Ah."
"Is something wrong?"
I hesitated.
Fine, let's say not wearing underwear was one thing.
Of course it wasn't fine, but let's say I let it slide.
But there was a bandage over my chest.
Not even a proper patch, just a bandage I'd grabbed at a convenience store.
Was I supposed to... reveal this?
"Miss?"
"Hold on, just a moment. It'll be over quickly...!"
There was only one way.
1. Quickly pull up my clothes.
2. Place my hands over my chest.
3. Rip off the band.
"Hngk...?!"
At the sudden stinging sensation, I hunched over.
It wasn't just a sting—it was hot, sharp, and sore.
My whole body, burning hot, was probably flushed red.
"Miss, are you okay? Could you stand up? It's fine—we occasionally get customers who use patches."
When I stood up and spread my arms, the salesperson slowly began taking measurements.
Her hands measuring the circumference of my underbust and bust were neither too close nor too far.
"Now let's take off your bottoms too."
"Wait, I have to take off my bottoms too? Is that, absolutely...?"
"Yes. It'll be easier to measure now. You'd have to get measured the same way at any other store."
"Ugh...."
"It won't take long. Like this, wrap it horizontally over your hips, straighten the tape measure..., done."
"It's already done?"
"Yes. Simple, right? Now, let's go out and pick out some underwear."
What a relief. She was a good person—and clearly a seasoned veteran.
She wasn't someone measuring my body for all sorts of purposes. She was purely someone devoted to her job....
So there were people this wonderful in the world....
"So, what you're looking for is a sports bra. And...."
"Um, uhhh. I'd also like women's boxer briefs, please."
"Do you work out? You're looking for activity-focused underwear."
"Yes, well... I just need comfortable underwear."
"I'll be rooting for you to stay injury-free. Here, would you like to browse starting from this line?"
I'm a Magical Girl, and I hate underwear that gets in the way.
I decided to keep those words tucked away deep in my core.
"You'll grow plenty more than you have now, miss."
Huh?
"So if it ever starts to feel a little tight, please come back to get measured again anytime."
What?
"Okay? Miss...? Ah, did I say something rude...?"
"Um, sorry. First of all, I'm very much an adult...."
"Oh my...?"
"I'm an adult, an adult...! I'm just, a little short. And, what's it called. That kind of thing...!"
Okay, that's it.
I couldn't take this humiliation anymore. Let's go. Let's go, go, go, go.
I took the bag and scurried off with my face burning.
Fine. It was time to accept it. You really did turn into a Magical Girl.
"I know. I know that...! I know, but still!"
It just felt so miserable and upsetting for no reason!
Whatever. I just wanted to go home.
I wanted to go home, close the door, turn on the shower in the bathroom, curl up, and cry.
Since I wanted to, I'd go home, close the door, and cry.
"Waaaaah...!"
"Huh."
When I turned my head, the source of the crying was a little kid.
I was grateful they were crying miserably in my place, but what on earth was wrong.
"Uu. Waaah...! Sniffle. Mommy, Mommy...!"
I had to go. I had to get back quickly.
I didn't want to be outside any longer in this mood....
Why, why wasn't anyone going to help them...!
"Why did you leave me, Mommy...!"
"Shh..., stop crying. Hey, little one, what's wrong? Is there a problem?"
In the end, I quietly walked over to the child and crouched down.
I told them there was no need to cry, slowly wiped their tears, and waited for them to stop.
Because if I went home while they were crying this miserably, I'd definitely regret it for a long time.
Today, when I got home, I wanted to cry only about the fact that I'd become a Magical Girl.
If guilt over leaving a little kid behind got mixed in too, then I'd really get depressed.
"Sniffle.... Mommy. Mommy."
"Yeah. Mommy?"
"Mommy. She went..., sniffle. Mommy. She was over there..., I. I didn't let go of Mommy's hand...."
"That must have been scary.... It's okay! I'll find her for you right away. I'm sure your mom is looking for you too. What's your name?"
"Junseo..., Mommyyy!"
"There we go. Stop.... It's okay. The adults at the department store will find her right away."
While soothing the child's crying, I started drawing a map in my head, wondering where the lost child center was.
They probably hadn't gone far.
"Sniffle. Yeah.... Right. Um... I saw you in a video...."
"Maybe you saw the wrong person...? I've never appeared anywhere──."
"Peregrine... sniff. Why are you here?"
"Hrk..."
You sharp-eyed little brat....