30. Please Understand, Partner (End)
Waiting around in a Magical Girl outfit?
It was embarrassing and a lot to handle, but it was something that would be resolved as soon as Park Won showed up, right?
So I figured it wasn't anything to worry too much about.
It definitely should have been that way.
"Haaaah...."
Before I knew it, I was sitting alone by the window of the cramped meeting room, just staring at the sunset beyond the glass.
Park Won, who'd said he'd be right over, hadn't shown up even after a long while.
Park Won is a liar.
With quitting time nearly here, he hadn't just failed to show—there wasn't even a glimpse of him.
Now that I'd sent Yun Ha-ram and Albatross back even though they'd offered to stay, I was holding down the meeting room alone while prepping for the presentation.
All while wearing a Magical Girl-style dress, no less.
"He said he'd be right over. Isn't a Partner supposed to stick with their Magical Girl...?"
Here I was, sitting around for hours in this getup...
And the guy who's supposed to be my Partner had gone completely incommunicado.
No, I mean, of course... he's probably busy, or something came up and he can't make it.
I slumped over the desk, worn out from practicing, unable to even hide the pout jutting from my lips.
A complaint I couldn't voice out loud because I understood the circumstances—understandable, but hard to sympathize with.
As a rule, this kind of complaint was always the most awkward to deal with.
[Still a ways off.]
The reply still hadn't come.
Where the hell he was, what he was doing, when he'd be done, where I should go to meet him.
I couldn't find out any of it, so in my frustration I just tapped at the floor.
I'd thought being alone without Park Won would be peaceful and nice... but it wasn't exactly that.
"Going home alone dressed like this is out of the question anyway."
Stuck in a situation where I couldn't do this or that, my body throbbed.
It wasn't quite at a dangerous level, but that made it all the more unsettling.
It felt like I was carrying around a time bomb with no idea when it might go off.
Somehow, whenever that time came when my lower belly ached, my nerves seemed to sharpen on their own.
If I got lucky once in a while, couldn't things go a little smoothly on a day my body hurt like this?
Why today, of all days? Why me, of all people? Why did I have to be in pain while dressed like this?
"It's weird how just thinking of that name makes me all prickly..."
Park Won.
"If I'd known it would turn out like this, he could've at least contacted me. I do understand. But still..."
Park Won.
"Of course it bothers me. The person who said he'd come didn't come, and I need him here."
Park Won.
I don't know.
Whether I get prickly because I think of that name.
Or whether that name only comes to mind when I'm already prickly.
"Fine. I'll go find him. I can't go home like this...!"
Just as I sighed and reached for the meeting room door, it opened.
"Ah..."
It was Park Won.
"You, what in the... what is that getup?"
"..."
"Judging by the look on your face, that's what Yun Ha-ram taught you, I take it."
"Haah."
I let out a sigh without meaning to and, in that instant, grabbed Park Won's arm and yanked him in.
I pulled him inside just like that and shut the meeting room door.
My tail feathers, honest about my feelings, started twitching, but I didn't particularly feel like hiding it.
I flung away the arm I'd grabbed and started glaring up at him.
"What's all this about, even crossing your arms?"
"Hey, um... so, you know."
"Speak comfortably, like you usually do. It's just you and me here anyway."
"We're still... outside, though. For now."
By now I was getting a little used to using formal speech with Park Won, so that part didn't matter.
That wasn't what was important right now.
"Where exactly did you go?"
"..."
"I waited, Partner."
I even went up on my tiptoes and grabbed his tie.
I furrowed my brow so hard that anyone could see at a glance how agitated I was.
"Sorry I'm late. Something came up."
"So what was it."
"Had a meeting about the presentation. It was related to you."
"And, what else."
"We also talked about the direction going forward."
"Is that all?"
Park Won made an odd expression at my words.
Yeah, it must've looked ridiculous. Dressed in Magical Girl clothes, grabbing him by the collar with a scowl Peregrine would never make.
But I was the one who'd had to hold out alone until quitting time looking like this.
Do you have any idea how miserable that was?
"You seem quite angry."
"I don't know. I'm not trying to give you grief when you're busy, but at the very least..."
"At the very least?"
When Park Won bent down instead, our faces drew closer together.
My tiptoed feet settled back down, and as Park Won's face came nearer, I ended up leaning my waist back a hand's width.
Only about a hand's width of distance remained between Park Won and me. It wasn't that the closeness itself was awkward, but.
Still, it's too close.
"At the very least, you could've contacted me."
"..."
"Worried... no. It bothered me. Where you were, what you were doing—ugh! Cigarette smell...!"
"Ah, sorry."
"Did you smoke?"
"Mm."
"You're not even a chain smoker, seriously... at this rate I'll be able to tell it's you just from the smell from far away."
When I waved my hand in front of my face right in front of him, Park Won dropped his head again.
I just fidgeted with the hand still holding his tie for no reason.
I stood there blankly without saying anything, then belatedly let go of the tie I'd been fidgeting with.
"Anyway. First, please change my clothes back."
"It's a method you're not fond of."
"Ah... why are you being like this, it's really making me anxious. And anything would be better than this."
"The transformation only comes undone when your Partner touches you."
Ugh...
"Who the hell first came up with a method like this...?"
When Park Won silently reached out, his hand pressed down into my hair.
Already in a whatever-happens-happens mindset, I closed my eyes and gave myself over to Park Won's stroking.
He wasn't the type to put selfish intent or malice into his touch, after all. By now I could endure this much.
"You held out well. You've been through a lot, Peregrine."
By now the stroking wasn't so uncomfortable that it made my stomach churn.
It was just a little awkward that the person doing the stroking was Park Won.
And the cigarette smell soaking into my hair was a bit much, too.
"It's undone."
"Huh? What? Wait, it comes undone that quickly?"
"Seems so."
When I opened my closed eyes, my body had returned to my original work outfit.
The neat dress shirt and blazer I'd worn during the day, and the short shorts—just as they were.
This was definitely much better than the Magical Girl outfit.
"I couldn't even go out properly because I was too embarrassed about the outfit."
"In two days, you'll have to present yourself to the reporters looking exactly like that."
"That's because there's no other option anyway..."
When the stroking continued even after the transformation broke, I just closed my eyes completely.
How many times has this been now?
It felt like I'd received it quite often without even realizing it.
"Mm..."
The bristling of my tail feathers stopped.
The dissatisfied feeling was slowly settling down, too.
If I just considered the touch itself, it might not be so bad.
With my worries reduced, the throbbing in my belly seemed to have quieted down again, too.
If only it could stay like this.
If only this cozy feeling right now could just keep going.
───
In the end, groundless expectations didn't help.
Two days later.
Me and Park Won. Yun Ha-ram, and Albatross too.
We headed to the Association's seminar room.
Was there any problem with the outfit? Was the script accurate?
How many people would there be, what were the precautions...
On the most important day announcing Peregrine's return, variables had to be minimized as much as possible.
"The reporters?"
"They'll probably take about 30 minutes. Peregrine, are you nervous?"
"No, not really... it's not quite overwhelming."
Of course I was nervous. My stomach was churning.
Even with all the uncertainty, I had to assert in front of everyone that I was Peregrine.
Once I revealed it here today, there'd be no turning back.
There's no way I wouldn't be scared...
"You're not going anywhere this time, right, Partner? Don't tell me, like last time again..."
"No. I'm not going. I've confirmed there's nothing on my schedule, so let's check your outfit one more time."
Following Park Won's instruction, I snapped my fingers, and in an instant my clothes changed with a flash of bright light.
Then, when his touch reached me, the clothes I was wearing scattered like tiny feathers and returned to normal.
Good. The transformation was fine.
Now I just had to make sure nothing went wrong.
"Um, do you think Gannet and Ju Woo-hyeon will be among the people coming?"
It was an unpleasant name, but I couldn't show hostility while in Peregrine's form.
So I forced the corners of my lips up and tossed the question toward the group.
In place of Park Won, whose expression had stiffened at the question, Yun Ha-ram nodded and answered.
"She'll probably come too. I heard from a senior colleague that the two of you are on awkward terms, but... it's fine. Nothing blatant will happen in a public setting."
"25 minutes until the broadcast starts!"
With the attendant's announcement, the seminar room grew busy.
At the same time, someone tugged me by the shoulder. Startled, I looked over and realized Park Won had called me aside.
"Are you okay?"
My hands were sweaty. I was so nervous my lips went dry on their own.
My whole body ached, and my lower belly throbbed, but I could endure it.
I can do this...
"If you're nervous or anything, I can get you some medicine. How's your lower belly?"
"Honestly."
Honestly. It had been throbbing for a while now.
It hurt, and somehow even breathing felt labored and uncomfortable.
I knew full well that taking medicine would fix it.
But, it had been the same when I broke the egg last time, and now too...
"Um, Partner. Do I really have to take the medicine...?"
"This isn't the time to be quibbling about that."
"I know that, but..."
Was it okay for me to be worrying about something like this?
Did I have the luxury right now to worry about this and deliberately carry the pain with me?
"..."
But when I stroked my lower belly with my hand, guilt churned.
It felt like anxiously watching a soap bubble on the verge of bursting.
It's probably an unfertilized egg. It's not a life. Like the egg Park Won had casually cracked that morning, it's probably nothing.
I tried hard to think those thoughts, but still, it felt like someone inside my heart was watching.
"I... don't want to take the medicine, Partner. It really won't be anything serious, so can't I just endure it?"
The more my tension grew, the more my lower belly throbbed, and cold sweat ran down my back, but I didn't want to blindly swallow that unsettling medicine.
"I know it's stubbornness, but... please. No... please understand, Partner."
"..."
"No matter what, the medicine is the one thing I don't think I can do."
"15 minutes left! Please move to your seats!"
At the distant murmur of the reporters' voices, I hurriedly lifted my head.
And then, Park Won shrugged as he pushed my back.
"Ten minutes."
"Huh?"
"Just talk according to the script for ten minutes."
"..."
"Toss things like Q&A over to me, and once the public appearance is over, you slip back."
Soon the seminar room started getting crowded, and Park Won waved his hand, telling me to go.
Watching Park Won nod from a distance, I soon started walking.
Now, I couldn't back out anymore.
It was the moment to inherit the name of the Magical Girl, Peregrine.
Let's do this.
Even if I felt anxious, let's just squeeze my eyes shut and do this.
To live up to expectations. To keep the promise with Peregrine.
Even if it's overwhelming, I'll keep my resolve.